“House” Tuesday 9pm, Fox
If you’re tired of the Asian bird flu overkill, and need some really freaky new diseases to obsess about, look no further. This medical drama, which wraps up Season 2 tonight, never disappoints with the truly horrific, obscure ailments it inflicts on its patients each week. (Example: Last week a young woman’s fungus-filled body started shutting down, and she began literally crapping out of her mouth. Delightful!) Brit Hugh Laurie continues to impress as the non-British Dr. House, a morphine-addicted jackass who takes the Hippocratic Oath as more of a vague guideline than actual ethical contract. Well, tonight he gets shot, and six months from now he’ll be winning an Emmy.
“Lost” Wednesday 9pm, ABC
It’s season finale time, which means something’s actually happening on “Lost.” I swear, you could watch only the first and last two episodes of any season and still follow the sluggish plot (such as it is) perfectly. To its credit, the show has offered up a few surprises of late, specifically Michael’s betrayal and the deaths of both Libby and Ana-Lucia. In this two-hour send-off Jack and Sayid finally make a move against The Others, while Locke and Eko tussle over the bunker button (will somebody just smash that damn thing into pieces, already?). Doesn’t sound terribly exciting, but there’s supposedly a scene so shocking even the actors involved didn’t know until the last minute, so that’s promising.
“Karate Dog” Monday 7pm, ABC Family
My 5-year-old nephew asked me to write this up. Who am I to refuse? As he pointed out, it features a dog that knows karate, and that is apparently “cool.” More specifically, the dog is named Cho Cho, and he is a black belt who can also talk to humans. He helps a detective (ex-MTV VJ Simon Rex, proving karma exists) track down the man who murdered his master. Jon Voight and Chevy Chase are also involved, which makes me a little sad. The “special effects” sure are…special. But it’s on ABC Family, and features a talking, high-kicking dog, so your kids will love it. And Hong Kong Phooey could certainly use the copyright infringement settlement.—Eric Rezsnyak