Should the Ginger Gold apple, a variety native to Central Virginia, be named our official State fruit? Some say “why not?” We’ve already got a State shell (the oyster shell) and a State bat (the Virginia big-eared bat). But apple growers say the General Assembly (www.legis.state.va.us) shouldn’t play favorites, and fans of other apple varieties (such as the delicious Albemarle Pippen) want their day in committee.
We’ve got a solution—the General Assembly should skip the snack break and pass a bill for transportation funding! But in case they want to get away from that political hot potato, here are four diversions:
HB 1774: “It is unlawful for any person to keep, maintain or operate or to visit a disorderly house. …’Disorderly house’ is defined to mean a house or building where persons meet or may meet for the purpose of unlawfully dispensing or indulging in intoxicating liquors, unlawful gaming, or boisterous or other disorderly conduct.” Anyone living near UVA is hereby guilty of a misdemeanor every moment of their lives.
HB 1728: Provides a civil penalty for selling novelty cigarette lighters to minors. Sixteen-year-olds can light their cigarettes the way we did—with Grandma’s plain ol’ Bic or stolen fireplace matches.
HB 1676: “No one shall possess an alcoholic beverage in the passenger area of a motor vehicle upon a public highway of the Commonwealth in other than the manufacturer’s unopened, original container.” Fine for said offense—$25. Hardly enough to deter us from the joys of the “go cup.”
HB 1970: “It is unlawful to be in Virginia if in United States illegally.” Please refer all questions to the Department of Redundancy Department.