 At Pinehurst golf course, you can imagine being, if not actually be, Payne Stewart as he drilled a nearly impossible putt on the 18th in the 1999 U.S. Open |
Gazing out upon perfectly cut green grass and trees that look like they were painted by the late Bill "Happy Trees" Ross, it dawns on me that I’m in more deep than a corrupt NBA referee with the Mafia.
Here I stand, 2pm on a Tuesday in late July, a driver in my hand, and I’m staring down Pinehurst No. 8. Today will be golf’s version of Beauty and the Beast.
This gorgeous North Carolina course, whose sister course No. 2 has hosted Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, and Payne Stewart‘s memorable putt on the 18th in the 1999 U.S. Open now has golf’s version of Fred Sanford on it.
I am a terrible golfer. A good day for me is one par, five bogeys, a dozen lost balls and a few newly invented curse words. My golfing expertise belongs on a Pinehurst golf course like Michael Vick belongs in a Milk Bone commercial.
If not for the generosity of my friend Jerry and his buddy Brian, there would be a better chance of me playing quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles than staring into yonder on a 321-yard first-hole, Par 4 at Pinehurst.
Yet this is the exact reason my "never broke 100 on any golf course in America" game accepted this invitation. IT’S PINEHURST!!!!
Who gets to play Pinehurst on a Tuesday afternoon when the rest of the working stiffs in America (no offense!) have to work?
PINEHURST No. 8… $220 a round for what Pinehurst.com describes as "dips and swales around the greens, sloping greens and false fronts." Dips? Swales? False fronts? I’ve no clue what a swale is but when it comes down to it, I’m playing it and you’re not!
This is why people play golf. It’s the only sport that you can play as if with the pros. Ever get a chance to shag flies at Fenway? Maybe go deep versus Santana Moss at Fed Ex?
Golf is the sport the fans can play. We’ve all had our glory shots and miserable moments. Play golf and you get the rounds that were fine, the ones that might have been fine and the ones where you keep the scorecard slapped on the refrigerator like a 6-year-old bringing home his first "A."
Golfers get golfers. Those who have never played a round don’t know what it’s like to see a near "hole in one" and watch it lip out at the last possible second. (Yes, amazingly, that was me at Spring Creek in Gordonsville, 5th hole… Next time you’re there, picture a grown man crying at the tee box.) Golf is where you—Joe from Palmyra or Chuck from Charlottesville—can cloak yourself in the "thrill of victory and the agony of defeat."
So it comes down to this. Put up or shut up time. First hole. First shot of what will be 102.
Knees slightly bent, slow on the back swing, and…200 yards straight down the fairway and we are underway.
Today, I’m golfing Pinehurst No. 8.
Wes McElroy hosts "The Final Round" on ESPN AM840. Monday-Friday 4pm-6pm.