The holiday season is fast approaching. This means one thing: The annual time to feel the pressure to say the things you feel in your heart to the people you care about is upon you. Soon, a stroll through the cards aisles of CVS or Hallmark or Harris Teeter—a stroll that might, at other times of the year, leave you unmoved—will now leave you feeling warm and full of holiday cheer. Or not. There’s always the rare possibility that you (weirdo) don’t enjoy canned, mass-produced holiday wishes, that you have other things to say via greeting card to the people in your life.
If this is the case, I suggest that you visit Someecards (“When you care enough to hit send”). If sentiments about the impending holiday season are not what is on your mind, then these cards might express the sentiments that are. To wit: “Since everyone’s dressing as Sarah Palin for Halloween, you should go as her developmentally disabled political prop baby.” Or, “Best of luck suppressing your last-minute latent racism at the voting booth.” Or, “Let’s pray for no giant animal balloon tragedies at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.” Or, “I can’t wait to catch up with you during halftime.” Or, “My parents will be here soon.”
Really, these cards are transcriptions of our innermost thoughts, what we are really thinking, a reflection of that perpetual source of philosophy: Who We Are Today. I’m not being glib. Sometimes, in my more humorless, melodramatic moments, I really do think it’s come to this. That’s when, after all, I sit down at my computer, type in the e-mail addresses of my 100 closest friends (BCC-ing myself, of course) and send out a someecard that says, “I’ll be publicly sobbing for the next few weeks.”