“The Bachelor”
Monday 8pm, ABC
Back in 2007 Brad Womack—the bar-owning slab of beefcake selected as the lead in the 11th season of the long-lived “Bachelor” franchise—pissed off lonely women across the nation when he decided not to enter into a doomed public relationship with either of his final two gal pals. This season Womack came back and went through the whole dog-and-pony show again (that was mean; some of the girls were very pretty this time), and tonight he’s back to picking from the final two, which includes executive assistant Chantal and event planner Emily. I’m horrible, so I’m pulling for him to dump them both again. But because karma’s a bitch—and everyone loves a twist—I wouldn’t be surprised if the girl he picks ends up dumping him.
“Beverly Hills Fabulous"
Monday 10pm, VH1
This new documentary series is best described as a hybrid of “Blow Out” and “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” “Fabulous” follows Elgin Charles, a renowned hair stylist who caters primarily to an upscale African-American clientele in his Rodeo Drive salon. Charles’ staff is filled with sassy stylists and sidekicks eager to fling some quips—or shade—at the camera, even as Charles is trying to expand his business. The supertrailer promises hair battles, tranny taser fights, ill-considered recording sessions and, most exciting, an appearance by Charles’s ex-wife Jackee Harry, forever in my heart due to her roles in “227” and Ladybugs. (Mine was a sad childhood.)
“All About Aubrey”
Monday 10pm, Oxygen
In a world where the Kardashians are paid tens of millions of dollars per year for basically doing nothing, Aubrey O’Day looks like a Barbra Streisand–level talent in comparison. O’Day attained C-level fame when she was cast as part of Puff Daddy’s girl group Danity Kane on the MTV reality series “Making the Band.” Kane had a couple minor hits (“Damaged” is totally on my gym playlist), but O’Day is most notable for two things: getting her ass fired by Diddy on national television, and frequently going out in public dressed like a baby clown, which led to her escandalo victory over heavily favored wacktress Tilda Swington in the 2009 Fug Madness championship. (Google it.) Now O’Day is back with her own reality show chronicling her attempts to claw her way back into the spotlight, and she’s so desperate that it might just work.