"The Glee Project"
Sunday 9pm, Oxygen
Fox’s teen musical “Glee” continues to be a huge hit despite the fact that, after two seasons, any unbiased viewer could agree that it’s mostly awful. And since every modern American teen thinks that he or she has what it takes to be a star (and also deserves to be one), the producers of “Glee” realized they could milk this phenomenon a little more aggressively. Hence this reality competition, which will award the winner a multi-episode guest role next season. More than 40,000 applicants have been whittled down to 12 contenders, which include a dreadlocked pouter who ironically rocks a keytar, an incredibly obnoxious Latina, and a flamboyantly gay boy who screams a lot—to name a few.
"Keeping Up with the Kardashians"
Sunday 10pm, E!
I have done my best to ignore the Kardashian klan, hoping that eventually it would disappear in a burst of sulfur and wig glue. But the Kardashians aren’t going away, at least not anytime soon. They are everywhere. They now have four reality shows on E! They’re on the covers of every tabloid magazine, every week. Kim is trying to launch a singing career, for Cher’s sake. Their family branding involves a level of fame-whoring unlike anything I have ever seen. This season look to these terrible, fake people to get involved in more terrible, fake drama, including Kim’s staged engagement. If you want to see a couple with real class, tune in at 10:30pm for the premiere of “Ice Loves Coco,” featuring erstwhile gangsta rapper Ice-T and his elegant goddess of a wife, whose bodacious figure looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket.
"Teen Wolf"
Monday 9pm, MTV
The geniuses at MTV went back to the craptacular 1985 Michael J. Fox movie Teen Wolf and decided to turn it into another dreary teen supernatural soap. How you get neo-gothic horror out of a movie that saw Fox in a fur suit and fangs dunking on a basketball hoop in front of an entire school of adoring fans is beyond me. Anyway, this new “Teen Wolf” series features yet another freshly waxed emo boy playing a lacrosse player who gets bitten by a werewolf and worries about how it will affect his chances with girls. Stupid demonic teens. Some people have real problems. Call me when you have a mountain of evil credit card debt you can’t pay off.