You’ve probably seen those articles—the ones that spell out exactly how many hours of sleep children should get at each developmental stage and thus terrify you into thinking you’re a terrible parent if your first-grader isn’t getting exactly 10 hours.
Local neurologist and sleep medicine doctor Chris Winter advises parents to take those numbers with a grain of salt, and pay more attention to individual kids’ needs than what the studies say.
“You can look up typical sleep needs for kids, and we all know roughly what a baby needs vs. what a 5-year-old needs,” Winter says. “But sleep need is sort of individualized. I hesitate to throw numbers out there because some kids need more and some kids need less.”
According to Winter (who is also a parent), “about 90 percent of kids’ sleep problems are parents’ sleep problems.” Parents should pay close attention to patterns. Here are a few things Winter recommends keeping in mind when it comes to making sure children are getting enough sleep.
Make bedtime relaxing, not stressful. Try to avoid punishments and “if you come out of your room one more time I’m taking something away”-type warnings. Winter encourages his own kids to read in bed if they don’t feel sleepy.
Control wakeup time. If your daughter does stay up reading until 3am, though, don’t let her sleep in—make sure she’s up and moving at the normal time, regardless of how sleepy she may be. Don’t let her take a nap after school or skip out on softball practice. Winter says kids have a tendency to regulate themselves and their schedules, if you let them.
Pay attention to screen time. Avoid TV, movies and video games right before bed, and if your son seems particularly groggy or is having a hard time getting to sleep at night, take note of how much time he spends in front of a screen.
“There are kids who that’s all they do,” Winter says. “It’s unbelievable. They play until 2am, stay up too late and then never feel awake to go to school.”
Take note of hyperactivity and moods. “I tell parents all the time, ‘Don’t let your kids be diagnosed with ADHD until they’ve had a sleep evaluation,’” Winter says. “A lot of times, behaviors kids exhibit when they’re sleepy look a lot like a kid with ADHD.”
Fidgeting, tapping a pencil, pestering the students around them, trouble concentrating—Winter says all these can be symptoms of a child who’s sleepy.
“Then you give them a stimulant, and they settle down,” Winter says. “Why is it that way? Because they’re sleepy at their core, and you’re giving them something to address the sleepiness.”
Keep them active. Winter says “permissive schedules” may be a significant contributor to sleep problems for both kids and adults. He advises parents to get the family moving around the same time every morning, and keep them active throughout the day.
“Get them out and running and doing things,” he says. “Really try to prevent them from just sitting around or sleeping during the day.”
Winter emphasizes that each child is different, and not everybody needs the same amount of sleep. Ultimately, if you’re worried about how your kids are doing at night, pay attention to what’s going on with them during the day.