The University of Virginia community came together on Monday, November 13, to remember the lives of D’Sean Perry, Devin Chandler, and Lavel Davis Jr. Throughout the day, the one-year anniversary of the shooting that killed the three football players and injured two other students, a range of memorials were held around Grounds, including a moment of silence at 12:55pm at the University Chapel, whose bells tolled “Amazing Grace.”
Sitting outside the chapel, surrounded by hundreds of mourners in complete silence, was an intense experience—both as a reporter and a UVA alum. For such a large university, UVA is a small, tight-knit community. I remember attending lectures with the victims, sitting by the family of Mike Hollins, who was injured in the shooting, during my American studies departmental graduation ceremony, and hearing my first-year hallmate talk about the really cool guy she had just met, D’Sean Perry.
Seeing her talk about Perry and his artwork in a video that played before Monday’s Batten School panel, which included Perry’s mother and other gun violence survivors, made me realize that covering the anniversary would be difficult.
The panel, “Beyond Boundaries: A Dialogue on Healing from Gun Violence,” featured Happy Perry, A’Dorian Murray-Thomas, Tracy Walls, Kevin Parker, and Denzell Brown. It started with a standing ovation from the audience. All of the speakers have lost loved ones to gun violence, and some have survived shootings themselves.
Attendees included teammates, family and friends of the victims, and UVA President Jim Ryan and Head Football Coach Tony Elliott.
Responding to a question about how to support those experiencing tremendous loss, the panelists talked about the importance of compartmentalizing, counseling, and phrases that have personally been meaningful. “People say really dumb things when they’re trying to say really good things,” said Parker, who survived the 1999 Columbine High School shooting and served in the Washington State House of Representatives. “Realize that they’re trying to say something meaningful.”
“No one can begin to understand the pain as precisely as anyone else’s feeling, especially when it comes to murder,” said Murray-Thomas. After her father was killed in a shooting when she was a child, Murray-Thomas founded SHE Wins, an organization that mentors women and girls who have lost loved ones to gun violence. “Just to attempt to try and understand, ‘I’m thinking of you’—to me that goes a long way.”
For Happy Perry, “I love you,” has been a powerful phrase over the last year. Through the support of loved ones, community, and her faith, Perry has kept going. “I find my strength in knowing that I need to move forward and the love and the legacy of D’Sean will move on and will grow, and I’m gonna be okay.”
“I know that I had to get that strength every day to get up and keep going and keep moving,” said Perry. “It was every day finding joy in something that he would, and to live as D’Sean did, and to pour that love into those that pour love into me and my community.”
As part of her work to honor her son’s memory, Perry founded the D’Sean Perry Spirit of Cavaliers, LLC, on November 17, 2022. Through events like bicycle and turkey drives, Perry hopes to continue spreading the love her son had in abundance—and that she has received from her community as she heals from his loss.
“As a member of the UVA football team, … you gave me the biggest blessing ever, being able to wear the number 41 to honor D’Sean Perry this season, and I truly thank you,” said UVA football player Will Bettridge to Happy Perry after the panelists finished speaking.
“Because of your courage, and your leadership, and being there for all of us, we fight and you keep pushing us to be better people on and off the field,” Bettridge said on behalf of the team. “I just wanna say thank you, I’m eternally grateful for you, and I love you,” he added, before embracing his slain teammate’s mother.