“Madonna: The Confessions Tour”
Wednesday 8pm, NBC
I suppose it’s to her credit that 20-plus years after shocking us with her “Like a Virgin” performance at the VMAs, Madonna is still causing controversy. But can’t we give a girl a break? For this, her new concert special, NBC decided to nix the portion of the show in which she stages a mock crucifixion while singing “Live to Tell.” What century are we living in? Never mind that the timing of publicly crucifying Madge couldn’t be more ironic (re: the whole adoption thing—she’s done “Oprah”; her debt is paid, people. Shut up and let her give the kid a life of luxury). She’s an artist. An enduring cultural icon. She’s earned the right to make a statement or two outside of how great she still looks in spandex. Just…get over it, already.
Shrek 2
Friday 8pm, ABC
After surviving the maniacal shopping hordes of Black Friday, kick back for the network debut of one of the only universally tolerable animated family films of the past couple years. Shrek 2 is one of those rare examples of a sequel that’s actually better than its predecessor. The whole cast is back from the first flick, joined by the conniving Fairy Godmother (Jennifer Saunders, of Britcom “Absolutely Fabulous”), smarmy Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) and best of all, scene-stealing would-be assassin Puss In Boots (Antonio Banderas). The pic crescendos into maybe the gayest finale of all time, as the Gingerbread Man gets awfully attached to his big brother Mongo, a cross-dressing bar wench makes out with a prince and the gang belts out a cover of Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out for a Hero.” But honestly, the kids won’t even notice.
“O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened”
Monday 9pm, Fox
Hello, bad idea! The Juice is clearly hard up for money. How else to explain this ill-considered four-hour special (it continues Wednesday) based around shilling his soon-to-be-released book of the same name? Twelve years after the gruesome double-murder for which he was eventually, notoriously acquitted (although then later found liable for in a civil case), Simpson sits down with publisher Judith Regan to lay out how he would have gone about killing ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ron Goldman. What could the man possibly be thinking? Perhaps a bigger question is how they plan to fill four hours with this. We can only hope that the answer involves the words “Special Guest Star, Judge Lance Ito,” and perhaps a cameo by the ever-irascible Christopher Darden.