New Year’s means two things for the average person: anticlimactic parties and resolutions. Since I’m not partial to parties, it means only resolutions to me and, oh, there are so many, many resolutions to make and break this New Year’s: stop calling people I think are stupid “retarded,” stop spending all my extra cash on clothes for my dog, stop objectifying midget babies and, of course, that perennial—stop eating like a pig and lose 10 pounds.
Although it happened nearly a decade ago, I am still coming to terms with the fact that after I hit 20, my metabolism slowed to a snail’s pace. The result is that I have slowly ballooned to the size of my grandmother. And that is not a good thing. Next up, I’m going to start beginning sentences with phrases like “I remember when Jackie Kennedy redecorated the White House…”
A preemptive strike against such dour circumstances, however, is in the works. I recently took the plunge and turned my browser towards the 3 Fat Chicks website—the site started in 1997 by three fat, Southern-fried sisters who decided to document their weight struggles on the Internet. The result is a phenomenon—both inspirational and informative. The sisters give the lowdown on every type of fad diet out there and provide healthy recipes, exercise tips, an online forum for their readers, links to plus-sized clothing, and God knows what else. This is why I love the Internet: I can now research just what type of diet I need to try from the peace and quiet of my couch (while gorging on wine and cheese, natch) without having to suffer the indignity of making some Weight Watchers-like excursion to the scale in front of 50 strangers. Phew.