“Dirt”
Tuesday 10pm, F/X
Critics have savaged this new F/X drama based on the seedy underbelly of Hollywood tabloids. The subject matter is pitch black, with pregnant starlets ODing, schizophrenic photogs maiming themselves to get a prize shot, and rap moguls beheading greedy performers. But if, like me, you occasionally enjoy wallowing in the worst humanity has to offer, it’s satisfying in an over-the-top way. Plus, I’d forgotten how fantastic series producer/star Courteney Cox can be when she tries her hand at drama. She makes editrix Lucy Spiller both admirably ambitious and reproachfully soulless. My kinda lady. The scripts definitely need work, but it’s got an original premise and Cox’s star power behind it, so here’s hoping. Also, look for “Friends” co-star/professional doormat Jennifer Aniston to make an appearance in March.
“Men in Trees”
Thursday 10pm, ABC
In my fall TV preview I completely dismissed this Anne Heche dramedy as a hokey fiasco, an ill-conceived mash-up of “Northern Exposure” and “Sex and the City.” And it is. But damned if the Artist Formerly Known as Celestia doesn’t make it work. Heche plays Marin Frist, a big-city relationship guru who relocates to a quirky, male-dominated town in Alaska after discovering that her fiancé was screwing around. Now Marin doles out advice to the town’s lovelorn burlymen while realizing that she knows nothing about guys herself. It’s total chick lit BS, and that makes it a perfect counterpoint to lead-in “Grey’s Anatomy.” Plus, Justine Bateman has just come on as the pregnant ex of Marin’s studly love interest, and I just cannot say no to a Bateman.
“I Love New York”
Monday 9pm, VH1
When VH1 first announced this distaff spinoff of dating show “Flavor of Love,” I wondered: How will they make a crazy bitch like New York likable? Answer: They didn’t, and for that I am eternally grateful. The network made ratings hay by having has-been rapper Flavor Flav dump and humiliate the woman on national TV. Twice. Now the suits have given New York 20 bachelors to pick from in the hopes of finding true love. But she remains the H.B.I.C. (Head Bitch in Charge), and three episodes in I’m still confused as to why any of these men legitimately would want to date her. Pretty, yes. Emasculating and unhinged, absolutely. But most of these guys aren’t prizes, either. Aside from personal faves Rico, Tango and 12 Pack (oh, 12 Pack…), she’s got some straight-up losers to pick from, including thuggerific front-runner Chance. Listen to your mother for once, girl! She might be even nuttier than you, but she’s dead on with that sucker.