Is there anything money can’t buy? This is the question that consumes Sweet Cakes at the moment. And it is not, dearest dear ones, because she has been on a big shopping spree and she’s excited about all the portable gadgetry and synthetic fabrics that the Western World spawns like so much pacifying political propaganda. No, La Cake has adhered to her promise to spend less, live more frugally and adopt a measured lifestyle. She does not want to turn out to be one of those self-indulgent, name-checking clotheshorses who either frequent the pages of The New York Times Sunday Style section or wish that they did. That’s not it at all. This column is not an admission that Sugar-Baby needs a credit counselor or possibly a 12-Step sponsor.
But when such intangibles as undivided attention, kind words, and unqualified approval can be bought (and at somewhat bargain prices), then Sweet just has to ask, is there anything money can’t buy?
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She is speaking, of course, about her aesthetician, by which Candy Girl means (and she begs the pardon of any gentlemen who might be among her readers at the moment) the fine gal who does her waxing. The position might be compromising, but the treatment is gentleness defined (Sweet does not refer to the act of waxing, itself, of course, which is sharp and briefly painful and which calls for decisiveness and precision). Maybe it’s the contorted position required by a bikini wax that inspires the intimacy, but Sweet finds that some of her most heartfelt conversations occur in the day spa where her unwanted hair is ripped from the root. Wax Gal knows so many of Sweet’s secrets—and she doesn’t just mean anatomy. WG has been enlisted as counsel on impending break-ups, she has heard the details of several silly family feuds, she has charted the emotional effect of sudden weight loss. And of course, given her sphere of influence, she has taken confession about any number of new crushes and hoped-for courtships. You might pay for a waxing service, but by the time you leave, you’ve purchased caring advice and unconditional support.
So Sweet will ask it again: Is there anything money can’t buy?
It’s much the same in the hair salon. Nothing but pure devotion can be said to characterize Sweet’s connection to her stylist. Numerous factors account for this, including Stylist’s expert understanding of Sweet’s hairline and her frank assessment that certain dos just don’t. But there is something that goes deeper than any adroit use of a flat-iron or an intuitive grasp of the Schwartzkopf color guide. Stylist lavishes La Cake with undivided attention and unconditional friendship. By the time the last follicle is blown dry, Sweet feels like the center of the universe—smarter, taller, lovelier in every way. For hours has she benefited from the literal and figurative head-patting that we could probably all use on a daily basis. And she’s left to wonder which of the many services she has enjoyed is being thrown in for free. Is it an esteem-building session with a complimentary style or a cut and color job with complimentary therapy?
Really, does it matter? Accept caring gestures where you can find them, Sweet advises, and don’t fret the commercial nature of the exchange. If you can buy a new smile, why not buy something to smile about?