“RuPaul’s Drag Race 3”
Tuesday 9pm, VH1
Even if you’re currently Logo-less you can still enjoy the most awesomely ridiculous reality competition ever to sashay across a television set. VH1 will rebroadcast new episodes of the drag-queen series the night after they originally air on the aforementioned gay cable net. The new season starts this week and will hopefully make up for last season’s infuriating finale, in which the lazy Tyra Sanchez took the crown for basically being a Mini-Ru. This time there are noticeably few black glamazon types, and three plus-sized contestants, undoubtedly to make up for the terrible treatment of previous big gals Porkchop and Mystique. My early picks are Raja—who is actually make-up artist Sutan from “America’s Next Top Model”—and Manila Luzon. I’m also dying to see ballroom queen Mariah bust out her library card and do some serious reading.
“Archer”
Thursday 10pm, FX
If you missed Season 1 of this raunchy, hilarious spy-spoof cartoon, add it to your Netflix Instant Queue immediately. Like most series, the first few episodes underwhelmed. But by the time it got to “Honeypot” it was firing on all inappropriate cylinders. The eponymous spy is an occasionally competent secret agent, casual misogynist, probable sociopath, and intensely self-satisfied dick. But damn if he isn’t sexy (and I repeat: He is a cartoon). His boss is also his mother, voiced by “Arrested Development”’s Jessica Walters, who is essentially playing Lucille Bluth again, but with an army of nincompoop spies at her behest. The voice cast also includes Aisha Tyler and “SNL”’s Chris Parnell. “AD”’s Judy Greer plays a secretary with a thing for erotic asphyxiation.
“Mega Python vs. Gatoroid”
Saturday 9pm, SyFy
Because you demanded it—back in 1987—it’s former teen queens Tiffany and Debbie Gibson in a televised fight to the death! Actually, no; this isn’t a snuff film for has-beens, it’s another one of SyFy’s ironically amusing flicks, brought to you by the same people who made the insta-classic “Mega Piranha.” “Python” stars Gibson as an animal-rights activist who sets illegally imported exotic snakes loose in the Florida Everglades, where they grow uncontrollably. To combat the problem, Park Ranger Tiffany injects the local swamp alligators with steroids. As you might guess, the giant snakes fight the giant gators, and humanity itself might be DOOMED. Directed by Mary Lambert, the woman behind Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” video. Talk about doomed.