Author: ace-atkins

Q: Ace, I just got a parking ticket in the Water Street parking lot because I fed the meter I thought corresponded to my parking space. Turns out, that meter belonged to the Port-a-Potty that occupies the space next the space where I parked! Tell me I’m crazy, but what kind of public restroom needs a parking meter?!—John Dissed

A: Rest assured, John, your sanity remains intact. In fact, you’re not alone in your confusion, as Ace discovered by paying a visit to the portable toilet and parking meter in question, located on the corner of Second and Water streets. As Ace stood there taking notes, a gentleman walked up to the Port-a-Potty and began inspecting it.

   He happened to be Bernie Garrison, recreational supervisor in charge of overseeing the City Market. According to Garrison, the potty, which is padlocked during the week, has been located in the Water Street lot from April to October since at least 1993 for the especial use of City Market vendors who arrive around 5:30am to check in and set up. Without it, the vendors would have no place to do their real business.

   When queried about the recent kerfluffle, Garrison responded, “I don’t see how any kind of mistake could be made…I see this Port-a-Potty as No. 24,” referencing the number of the parking space the toilet occupies.

   However, no sooner had Garrison left the scene than Shane Durrance, a photographer in town to shoot UVA students for Playboy’s “Girls of the ACC” spread (Ace kids you not—look for it on the stands in October), walked up to his SUV parked beside the toilet and muttered “F#%k!” There he found a ticket was neatly placed under his wiper (no pun intended).

   “I don’t think anyone with common sense would know [the Port-a-Potty had a parking meter]…you would have to count down the row [of parking spaces] to know that,” sputtered Durrance, vowing to fight the ticket at City Hall.

   Back at his desk, Ace called Maurice Jones, director of communications for the City. Jones disavowed any knowledge of the crappy situation. But a few hours later Jones called back saying he had looked into the matter, and that thus far two people had contested tickets involving the Port-a-Potty. One had been denied and the other was still being processed. Moreover, said Jones, “the treasurer’s office is taking steps to cover the meter so that the mistake won’t be made again in the future.”

   Sure enough, the meter is now covered with a green cloth, which means, Ace figures, that in some sense fewer people will be pissed off.

Q: Hey Ace, I’ve been hearing lately that we’re going to get walloped this summer by this major cicada swarm. Is it true that we’re going to be besieged by insects? And are they dangerous?—Bugsy Malone

A: The summer’s bumper cicada crop certainly has people abuzz, Bugsy. But Ace put his ear to the ground for news on the burrowing insects and found out you have nothing to worry about—for now.

   “It’s not true” that we’ll have a major cicada problem in our area, says Peter Warren, Charlottesville-based extension agent for the Virginia Cooperative Extension. “Not in this part of the State. But areas in Northern Virginia will get it pretty bad.” He adds that Washington, D.C., and Maryland will be up to their eyeballs in insects since they’re in the thick of (insert ominous chords here) Brood X.

   Brood X—X as in 10—is what has put everyone’s panties in a bunch. It’s reportedly the batch of cicadas with the largest geographical spread, ranging from Tennessee in the west to New York in the north. It’s one of the 17-year-cycle groups of cicadas (they also come in the 13-year-cycle variety), which means that the buggies emerging this year went underground in 1987 and suckled on tree roots through the Bush, Clinton and Bush II presidencies. Luckily for them, they also missed the Spice Girls.

   While we might be out of the major infestation area, Warren says to expect some cicadas this year. “We’ll probably have little pockets of them here in Albemarle,” he says.

   Really, though, there’s nothing to worry about, even if you do happen to live in (more ominous chords) Brood X land. Cicadas are pretty harmless, save from that incredibly irritating “singing” the males do to attract their honeys. (Imagine “comedian” Gilbert Gottfried’s nasal whine cranked up to about 13.) According to the Virginia Cooperative Extension webpage, they aren’t poisonous and lack stingers. The only danger they pose is to young trees, which they inadvertently damage while laying their eggs. Well, they also keep you up all night by screeching or flying into your house. Apparently, being underground for a decade-plus leaves them pretty crappy fliers.

   So media hype be damned, you’ve nothing to worry about from Brood X. Just wait until 2013, when the cicadas that buried themselves here in 1996 make their grand reappearance. Warren says they won’t be as big a deal as (one more time) Brood X, but they’ll cover most of Central Virginia. Nine years leaves you plenty of time to buy ear plugs, though.

Q: Hey Ace, I’ve been hearing lately that we’re going to get walloped this summer by this major cicada swarm. Is it true that we’re going to be besieged by insects? And are they dangerous?—Bugsy Malone

A: The summer’s bumper cicada crop certainly has people abuzz, Bugsy. But Ace put his ear to the ground for news on the burrowing insects and found out you have nothing to worry about—for now.

   “It’s not true” that we’ll have a major cicada problem in our area, says Peter Warren, Charlottesville-based extension agent for the Virginia Cooperative Extension. “Not in this part of the State. But areas in Northern Virginia will get it pretty bad.” He adds that Washington, D.C., and Maryland will be up to their eyeballs in insects since they’re in the thick of (insert ominous chords here) Brood X.

   Brood X—X as in 10—is what has put everyone’s panties in a bunch. It’s reportedly the batch of cicadas with the largest geographical spread, ranging from Tennessee in the west to New York in the north. It’s one of the 17-year-cycle groups of cicadas (they also come in the 13-year-cycle variety), which means that the buggies emerging this year went underground in 1987 and suckled on tree roots through the Bush, Clinton and Bush II presidencies. Luckily for them, they also missed the Spice Girls.

   While we might be out of the major infestation area, Warren says to expect some cicadas this year. “We’ll probably have little pockets of them here in Albemarle,” he says.

   Really, though, there’s nothing to worry about, even if you do happen to live in (more ominous chords) Brood X land. Cicadas are pretty harmless, save from that incredibly irritating “singing” the males do to attract their honeys. (Imagine “comedian” Gilbert Gottfried’s nasal whine cranked up to about 13.) According to the Virginia Cooperative Extension webpage, they aren’t poisonous and lack stingers. The only danger they pose is to young trees, which they inadvertently damage while laying their eggs. Well, they also keep you up all night by screeching or flying into your house. Apparently, being underground for a decade-plus leaves them pretty crappy fliers.

   So media hype be damned, you’ve nothing to worry about from Brood X. Just wait until 2013, when the cicadas that buried themselves here in 1996 make their grand reappearance. Warren says they won’t be as big a deal as (one more time) Brood X, but they’ll cover most of Central Virginia. Nine years leaves you plenty of time to buy ear plugs, though.

Q: Ace, tourists come here from all over the globe, and the 48 states, Hawaii and Alaska. Do you suppose there is enough intelligence for those that control/run the Downtown Mall to set the clock to the exact time? It’s been two years!—Father Time

A:Yeesh, that’s pretty harsh there, pops—no need to go insulting anyone’s intelligence. Ace assumes that you’re referring to the chronically wrong clock atop the kiosk in front of the Boxer Learning building on the Mall. Indeed, the clock was running 25 minutes fast when Ace checked on a recent afternoon. But there’s no need to get upset, especially since the woman who spends her entire day working with the tinkered timepiece, Dana Durham, isn’t.

Durham has rented the eight-sided structure—colloquially known as the Bargain Hut, but technically Dana’s Kiosk, she says—from the City’s Office of Economic Development since September. From it she dispenses brochures for City and County tourist attractions (part of the deal for renting it) as well as assorted knickknacks and snacks. She says she’s been trying to get the clock fixed almost as long as she’s rented the place.

“People ask all the time” if the clock is right, she says. “That’s why I keep my wristwatch handy, so I can tell them the right time.”

Durham explains that the clock is supposed to automatically reset every morning when she opens up the kiosk. It hasn’t quite worked out. She says she’s put in several calls to Aubrey Watts, director of the Economic Development Department, but the clock remains unfixed. That said, she gives Watts credit for helping her on several occasions, from getting rotted panels replaced to fixing a busted lock.

“Everything I’ve asked him to do he’s done,” she says. “I’m sure he’ll get right on this as soon as possible.”

When Ace called Watts, he echoed Durham’s sentiments—he’s on it right away. He explained that part of the hold up has been miscommunication over what City department is technically responsible for the kiosk’s upkeep. He says that the Department of Parks and Recreation has been alerted to the clock’s wonky nature and, with any luck, you’ll be able to set your watch to it soon.

As for it being two years since the clock’s been broken, Watts wasn’t sure it had been that long. But he did come up with one perq from the whole thing. “I bet a whole lot of people got extra-long lunch breaks out of it” being wrong, he says. Now that’s putting your time to good use.

Q: Ace, I heard a rumor that an animal with rabies was caught in City limits last week, supposedly the first one in a really long time. But we hear about rabies pretty frequently. What’s the deal—was there a rabies case, and if so, is it really all that rare?—Diz Ease

A:Charlottesville animal control officer Bob Durrer confirmed for Ace a recent case of rabies in the City. On Wednesday, March 17, Durrer says, he received a call from a woman living near the intersection of Sunset and Wesley in the JPA neighborhood who said she’d been chased by a gray fox. After patrolling the area for about 30 minutes he says he came up with nothing, and stopped to ask a man walking his dog on Piedmont Avenue if he’d seen anything. The man said no, Durrer says, and he got back in his patrol car. While looking in his rearview mirror he saw the man flagging him down. Improbably, at that moment the fox had jumped out of the bushes and attacked the dog-walking citizen’s pooch. After a not-so-merry chase Durrer says he finally caught the fox, which, after being tested by the health department, was diagnosed with rabies, sent to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and destroyed.

Durrer tells Ace he’s been working the job for 23 years, and this is only the second time he’s caught a rabies-infected animal in the City. He says he often sees wildlife with distemper, which leaves them extremely weak. But rabies are a rarity, he says—at least in the City proper.

Cross over into County lines and it’s a little more common. Ace looked at the State Health Department webpage (vdh.state.va.us), which breaks down rabies cases by locality. In 2003 Albemarle had seven found rabies cases, mostly raccoons but also a bat, fox and a skunk. In 2002 there were nine cases.

Donald Hackler, environmental health manager with the Thomas Jefferson Health District, says the disease is still fairly rare. But the health department checks up on all animal bites to make sure rabies—a virus that fatally attacks the nervous system and is transmitted by bites or through contact with infected saliva or brain tissue—is not a concern. He says the best way to protect humans is to vaccinate your pets. (Durrer says that the dog involved in the fox fight had gotten the proper shots, which means fido should be fine after a booster shot.)

Beyond that, Hackler suggests avoiding contact with wild animals. Keep an eye out for critters showing strange behavior, including extreme aggression or loping about in the daytime. That should keep your mouth-frothing encounters to a minimum.

Q: Hello Ace. Every day that I drive to work, I see a sign that piques my curiosity. Coming from the south, driving north on Monticello Ave/20S after the 64W exit, there is a small sign on the right that says “Bird Sanctuary.” Where? How is this possible? Does it just mean the small clump of woods behind the sign or all of Charlottesville?—Feather Flockyear

A:The idea’s not so bird-brained, Feather. After some investigation, Ace figures the sign you spotted on Route 20 most likely refers to the Fernbrook Natural Area located off Route 784, on the North Fork of the Rivanna River. Ace found out that the site is affiliated with the Nature Conservancy. Its website, www.nature.org, lists Fernbrook as an “excellent example of a southern Piedmont forest in varying stages of successionhardwood forests, a successional oak-pine forest, as well as a small tract of southern pines.”

Hmmm, so there are a lot of trees, but what about the birds? Well, the Nature Conservancy lists a variety of birds that have been sighted in the natural area: pileated woodpeckers, ovenbirds, scarlet tanagers, ruby-throated hummingbirds and red-tailed hawks.

The flighty fellas stay around because it’s their natural habitat, currently in the process of being brought back to its prime. According to the website, the land was first acquired during the 1700s at a price of $45 and used for agriculture, cattle and timber production. That is, until 1963, when George and Jacintha Paschall donated the 63 acres with the intention of having it preserved in its natural state.

You can access Fernbrook by going north on Route 20 from Route 250 East for about nine or 10 miles. Turn left on State Route 600 at Stony Point, and then left on State Route 784, where you’ll find a trail entrance on the left.

But before you grab the binoculars, consider this: Daniel White, spokesperson for the Charlottesville branch of The Nature Conservancy, acknowledges that the area is largely unknown because of its small size. And they’d like to keep it that way since such a tiny ecosystem is susceptible to having its natural balance upset. “[Fernbrook] may not be able to withstand a lot of traffic. It’s basically just a nice walk in the woods alongside the river,” he says.

Instead, White recommends some other local nature destinations for birdwatching. “Fortune’s Cove in Nelson’s County is a much larger preserve about half an hour away. [There is also] Ivy Creek that the agency helped protect,” he says.

Finally, another reason to look elsewhere: Fernbrook has reportedly been home to bobcat sightings. “Along the river there’s no telling what might wander through there—foxes and deer, especially,” White says. Ace is happy to know that Charlottesville still hasn’t lost its wild side.

Q:Dear Ace, What happened to Charlottesville radio station Mix 107.5? There seem to be no DJs on the air since March 5 and the music selection has changed. Any information would be greatly appreciated!—All Mixed Up

A:Don’t touch that dial, Mixed—it wouldn’t do any good. Mix 107.5 has gone through what those in the biz call a “format change” to Smooth Jazz 107.5. Just last week the call letters officially changed from WUMX to WCJZ. Gone are Cyndi Lauper, the Bangles and the neon-bedecked ’80s brethren that once populated the frequency. In are Kenny G andwell, more Kenny G, Ace guesses.

Media überconglomerate Clear Channel Communications owns the former Mix, as well as local talk radio channel WCHV-AM 1260, Super Hits 102.3 (WSUH FM—which underwent its own format change last year from the classic rock of WFFX), Country 99.7 (WCYK FM), sports station WKAV-AM 1400 and Hot 101.9. Mix just wasn’t cutting it, says Clear Channel Charlottesville operations manager Regan Keith.

No kidding. According to the latest numbers released by radio rating company Arbitron (which Ace found on radioandrecords.com), WUMX ranked ninth out of 15 in the Charlottesville market, behind all of its Clear Channel bandwidth mates except for the two AM talkers.

Keith says that Clear Channel tried a couple of tricks to bring in listeners, most notably adding syndicated morning jock Kidd Kraddic to Mix’s lineup last year. But ultimately “it just wasn’t viable anymore,” Keith says. “We were throwing good money after bad.”

Hence the format change. Butsoft jazz? Ace has heard from numerous disgruntled readers who recently turned on Mix for Don Henley’s “All She Wants to do is Dance” and instead got lots and lots of sax. But Keith says that’s what the people wanted. Clear Channel’s in-house research, he says, discovered repeated requests for a jazz station. And as he points out, walk down the Downtown Mall on any weekend night and you’re liable to catch some smooth sounds wafting out. “People are hungry for it,” he says.

That raises the question of whether local jazz will find its way onto the station alongside the aforementioned Mr. G. It’s a possibility, Keith says, and Clear Channel has been considering approaching a local jazz luminary who has a history in Charlottesville radio (he wouldn’t tell Ace who).

“If we can find enough resources in the area that could support something like that” it would be great, he says. “That’s the roots of jazz, out on the street.”

Q: Ace, last week I went to Starr Hill to see this Led Zeppelin tribute band, and I was really looking forward to seeing local B-boys Frontbutt. When I got there I found out the ’Butt had been booted. I wanna know what happened, but I’m even more curious about how local bands get booked into clubs anyway?—Music Man

A: Frontbutt member Etch-a-Sketch (nee Drew Worsley) tells Ace that the whole affair was a big mistake—the Zep band, Zoso, apparently wasn’t hip to playing with a hip hop cover act—but the ’Butt is still down with Starr Hill. The club’s booker, Kim Kaechele, says the same. Not only was Frontbutt paid for the nixed gig, but she’s working on getting them back on the stage, pronto.

Such a situation is a rarity, Kaechele says. She estimates that Starr Hill—the biggest regular music venue in town—books local openers for national acts whenever possible, about once every five to seven shows. And that’s not counting the nights they devote the entire stage to homegrown tunes. In April that will be about seven or eight gigs to the 10 national acts lined up for the room.

It’s all part of a renewed push to give Charlottesville’s burgeoning music scene more play. “Everyone has a friend who’s a musician, who feels passionately about their music,” Kaechele says. She says she wants to get them out there as much as possible.

Starr Hill isn’t the only one, of course. The Outback Lodge, Tokyo Rose, The Prism, Gravity Lounge and Mountain View Grill are just a few of the local venues that offer Charlottesville’s groovers and shakers a place to shine. How does an aspiring act get its butt on stage? The main thing is to send a CD or demo in to whatever club you’d like to play. And then pray.

“It’s tough,” explains Don Semmens, who books for Gravity Lounge. First, bookers are typically crazy busy. Second, places like Gravity schedule their 20-plus shows per month way in advance. He says successful local bands will fit the venue’s listening room atmosphere and be open schedule-wise. That might mean starting out on a weeknight and then getting promoted to weekend gigs after drawing a good-sized crowd.

Starr Hill’s Kaechele says a band willing to promote the show is also a plus—be it passing out flyers or selling a block of tickets to friends. Promotion is key to local shows, she says, even more than national shows, since acts like Galactic will always sell out.

In regards to trying to open for a national act, Fred Boyce, the man behind The Prism, says that compatibility with the big name is the No. 1 consideration. That, and whether he thinks the audience will benefit from exposure to the local guy.

Hope that helps you, Music, and any aspiring musicians in town. As for your Frontbutt fix, Etch-A-Sketch recommends you head to the Outback Lodge on March 26, where they’ll be playing for sure. “If they missed us last Thursday they can come see us then,” he says.

Q: Dear Ace, what is going on south of the airport on Earlysville Road? More runways? And there’s a lovely tree with a fence around it, so whatever is happening, I assume the tree stays. Thanks for any info.—Anne Arbor

A: While business at the Charlottesville- Albemarle Airport has certainly taken off since it was first built in 1955, Anne, the answer to your question is: No, the airport folks are not adding runways at this time. They’re just trying to keep The Man off their backs.

Airport Executive Director Bryan Elliott explains that the project in question is to bring the airport up to code with Federal Aviation Administration guidelines requiring safety areas off the ends of runways. The requirements, revised about 15 years ago, Elliott says, call for an additional 1,000 feet of space to be cleared at the ends of landing strips, 500 feet in width. It’s all just in case something goes wrong with an aircraft overshooting its target, to make sure it can’t cause any real damage to people or property.

Trouble is, right now State Route 606 winds through the space in question. That’s what they’re trying to fix. The project will relocate the intersection of 606 and State Route 743 about 825 feet to the south of the required area, Elliot says. Once that’s completed—sometime around summer 2005, Elliott figures—additional sections of 743 will get a similar treatment.

As to the second part of your question, give yourself some credit for your eagle eyes—there is indeed a tree fenced off in the workzone that Elliott says has been deigned off-limits to construction guys and their machinery. In a turn sure to make nature lovers warm and fuzzy, Elliott says surveyors discovered the flora in question was one of the oldest known oak trees on the East Coast—although he couldn’t give Ace exact details on its age. Ace would suggest cutting it down to count the rings, but realizes that’d kind of defeat the purpose.

And as if the 606/743 revamps didn’t provide enough construction fun, the Virginia Department of Transportation has scheduled another overhaul to the airport-adjacent roadways in the near future. VDOT apparently wised up to the fact that traffic between 29N and the ‘port on Route 649 has gotten awfully heavy of late, and the State plans starting late this summer to turn it into a four-lane road. The project should be completed about a year after that and should include a new complementary traffic roundabout at the airport.

Yes, yes—safety, better roads—it’s all very good. You may now return to your in-flight movie.

Q: Hey Ace, I love Charlottesville and all, but sometimes you just need to get out of town and into the real center of the universe. I’m talking about the city so nice they named it twice, New York, New York. What’s the best way to get from here to there?—Manny Hattan

A: The lights, the sights, the peeing in the streets. Ace misses New York sometimes, too, Manny. In fact, on one visit, he waited at a crosswalk next to Dr. Ruth Westheimer herself. That was a sexy trip! In the spirit of giving and receiving, Ace is happy to share with you several current options for getting to the Big Apple, and even happier to tell you about another one on the way.

Ace confirmed with developer Oliver Kuttner (who spearheaded Downtown’s Terraces project, among others) that he’s working on a new fancy-dancy bus line to EnWhySee, which he hopes to get on the road sometime this year. Kuttner says few details have been nailed down, but since he’s a racecar builder Ace can at least guarantee it’ll be a hell of a ride.

Until then, however, there are more pedestrian forms of public transport. For the high-flying set, The Charlottesville-Albemarle Regional Airport sends several airplanes to New York through its main airline, US Airways. You can grab a nonstop flight to New York’s LaGuardia Airport three times daily Mondays through Fridays, at 6:45am, 11:55am and 4:25pm, or twice daily on weekends, at the same morning times. At a mere hour and 40 minutes from takeoff to landing, it’s by far the fastest way to get there. And let’s not forget those nummy peanuts. But it’ll cost ya anywhere from $334 to $700 round trip (depending on how early you book tickets).

Amtrak offers a somewhat cheaper alternative, with two express trains leaving the Charlottesville railroad stop on W. Main Street daily at 7:05am and 4:21pm, both of which pull into a stop at Penn Station. Round-trip tickets run $178 for coach or $505 for a sleeper cabin, which you very well may need for the roughly seven-hour trek.

But that ain’t got nothin’ on the marathon trip you’d take on Greyhound. There’s no express service bus available until after Washington, D.C., so expect stops at every ’ville and ’burg between here and the nation’s capital. Three buses headed the New York way leave the Charlottesville Greyhound station on W. Main daily, at 9am, 12:40pm and 8:15pm. The bus line estimates an eight-hour travel time to New York’s scenic Port Authority. As someone who’s taken that trip several times, Ace can tell you to prepare for more like 10 to 12 soul-deadening hours. But the price is right: At only $58 for a round-trip ticket, that leaves plenty of bucks to blow on miniature statues of Liberty and falafel from sidewalk vendors.