Author: eric-rezsnyak

“7 Days of Sex”
Thursday 10pm, Lifetime
Think of this new documentary series as sexual intervention. Each episode features two married couples that have hit a sexual rough patch in their respective marriages. The show tasks them with having sex every day for a week, in the hopes that a healthy sexual relationship will lead to a healthier relationship overall. It’s not all bumping and grinding, though. The process is really about communication and paying attention to the reasons the partners were interested in one another in the first place, and the husbands and wives are encouraged to speak openly about their needs and desires to the cameras. If you’re in a rut with your spouse, it might start some conversations—at the very least.

“2012 TV Land Awards”
Sunday 9pm, TV Land
Get your nostalgia fix with this awards show that honors favorite TV series from the past. Human Energizer Bunny Kelly Ripa hosts the 10th anniversary of the awards, which this year doles out the honors to some truly amazing shows. The cast of “Laverne and Shirley” receives the Fan Favorite Award; ’90s sketch comedy show “In Living Color” gets the Groundbreaking Award; “Murphy Brown” gets the Impact Award (remember when the vice president of the United States didn’t have bigger things to worry about than an unwed fictional character having a baby?); “One Day at a Time” gets the Innovator Award; and “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” is honored for its lasting contributions to pop culture. The entertainment is also decidedly old-school, with Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin taking the stage and the kick-ass B-52s acting as house band.

“The Pitch”
Monday 9pm, AMC
I have several friends in the ad-agency business. Since “Mad Men” became a cultural touchstone they are suddenly treated like rock stars when out on the scene—people think they have the coolest job in the world. In truth ad men (and women) are pretty badass, but if the job is done right, along with all the creative thinking and huge accounts comes an insane amount of stress. AMC’s new reality competition tries to capture the big ideas and crushing pressure. Each week two of the nation’s top advertising agencies are brought together to compete for the business from a major client. (In the preview that aired a few weeks ago it was Subway, looking for an ad campaign for its new-ish breakfast line.) It’s not the most daring reality competition you’ll find on TV, but it is fascinating in its own way.

 “Jennie Garth: A Little Bit Country”
Friday 9pm, CMT
Jennie Garth—Kelly Taylor on “Beverly Hills, 90210”—has probably had the most consistent success of all her teen-soap castmates. After that show’s 10-season run she scored another regular gig on the sitcom “What I Like About You,” appeared on “Dancing with the Stars,” and then came back to the old zip code to reprise Kelly for the first few seasons of the CW’s “90210” reboot. Now she’s got her own reality show in which she takes her three daughters and ditches L.A. to go back to her farm life roots. The interesting twist: Last month Garth announced her split from husband of 11 years, Peter Facinelli (best known from the Twilight movies and “Nurse Jackie”). Although Facinelli does not appear on the new show, Garth will reportedly deal with the divorce during the run of the series. I know it’s awful, but all I can think is, Brenda Walsh always gets her revenge!

“Fox 25th Anniversary Special”
Sunday 8pm, Fox
It’s hard to imagine a television landscape without Fox. But prior to April 5, 1987, if you didn’t have cable, it was basically ABC, CBS, NBC, or PBS. Then came this upstart network that immediately grabbed attention with ballsy programming like “Married With Children” and “The Simpsons.” In short order the network established itself with some of the most iconic programming of the late 20th and early 21st centuries, including “Beverly Hills 90210,” “Ally McBeal,” “American Idol,” “24,” and so on. To celebrate a quarter century the network is bringing back some of its biggest stars from the past, including Calista Flockhart, Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny from “The X-Files,” and the entire Bundy family from “Married With Children.” Let’s hope Ed O’Neill sticks his hand down his pants just once, for old time’s sake.

“Veep”
Sunday 10pm, HBO
Of all the “Seinfeld” alums, I’ve always rooted for Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ post-show career. The ambitious “Watching Ellie” didn’t catch on and “The New Adventures of Old Christine” had a respectable five-season run, but never fully harnessed her intelligence and wit. I hope this new comedy will do the trick. In “Veep” she stars as Selina Meyers, vice president of the United States, who finds that the job isn’t as exciting as outsiders might think. The cast also includes Anna Chlumsky (Vada Sultenfuss from My Girl lives!) and Tony Hale (Buster from “Arrested Development”), and the previews are very funny.

 “Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt 23”
Wednesday 9:30pm, ABC
ABC continues its trend of ordering shows with controversial titles (see “Good Christian Bitches”) and then castrating them into near meaninglessness (which became “GCB”). The titular “B” of this new sitcom is played by Krysten Ritter, who you may remember as the lovely, doomed Jane on “Breaking Bad.” Here she gets to flex her comedic chops as Chloe, hilariously awful roommate of a wide-eyed Midwestern transplant to the Big Apple. Chloe is what “Top Model” contestants refer to as a “fun bitch,” which means she delights in stirring up shit and lets fly with the acid-tinged zingers. Her best friend on the show is erstwhile Dawson, James Van Der Beek, playing the exaggerated douche bag version of himself that has made him a resurgent cult icon since the “Creek” dried up nearly a decade ago.

“Girls”
Sunday 10:30pm, HBO
This new sitcom comes from indie auteur Lena Dunham (Tiny Furniture) and executive producer Judd Apatow (The 40-Year-Old Virgin), and might be best described as the anti-“Sex and the City.” “Girls” documents four bright 20something women trying to make the transition from college to the real world in contemporary New York City. While the concept is similar to “SATC,” and the themes of careers, responsibilities, love, and sex, are all obviously at play, “Girls” promises a more thoughtful, realistic take. Interestingly, Dunham’s co-stars on the show are all the daughters of prominent men in the entertainment world: Jemima Kirke (daughter of the drummer of Bad Company), Allison Williams (daughter of NBC News’ Brian Williams), and Zosia Mamet (daughter of playwright David Mamet).

“Eden’s World”
Monday 10pm, Logo
Gay network Logo created a minor kerfuffle in the LGBT community a few months back by announcing that it was broadening its original programming scope. The focus will remain on shows that appeal to gay audiences—and other markets, like women —but that aren’t necessarily built around gay stars. “Eden’s World” is Logo’s first attempt to break out of the rainbow-colored box. The reality series chronicles the life of Eden Wood, previously of “Toddlers & Tiaras,” who retired from the child-pageant world at age 6. Now Eden is taking to New York in the hopes of breaking into mainstream entertainment. If you find child pageants fascinating or horrifying (or both), this one’s for you. Personally, I’m glad I had parents who knocked some sense into me. I fear for this kid in 15 years.

 “Savage U”
Tuesday 11pm, MTV
When I was in high school and college, horny and confused teens had “Loveline,” the late-night call-in show featuring comedian Adam Corolla and the now-despicable Dr. Drew. Although “Loveline” has been off TVs for more than a decade, these “millennial” children are desperately in need of some real sex talk, and who better than Dan Savage, author of the gloriously filthy “Savage Love” advice column and founder of the It Gets Better anti-bullying movement (see page 16). In “Savage U,” he travels to various college campuses and address the student body on issues concerning actual student bodies, delivering his frank sex and relationship advice in both group settings and one on one. Anyone who has read his column knows that Savage can get risqué, but he also has some very sensible advice, like this point to a young fratty dude: “Don’t stick your dick in any girl you wouldn’t date.” Bless.

“Scandal”
Thursday 10pm, ABC
Kerry Washington (Ray) stars in this new drama by Shonda Rhimes, the hitmaker behind “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Private Practice.” This time Rhimes goes outside the medical field to the seedy world of politics, as Washington plays a crisis-management specialist who works to keep the secrets of Washington, D.C.’s rich and powerful out of the press. It’s a smart concept, especially given our increasingly tawdry political climate. The cast features several familiar faces, including Henry Ian Cusick (Desmond from “Lost”), Guillermo Diaz (Guillermo from “Weeds”), and Tony Goldwyn (the bad guy from Ghost) as the President of the United States.

“The Client List”
Sunday 10pm, Lifetime
Back in 2010 Lifetime aired the made-for-TV movie “The Client List,” in which Jennifer Love Hewitt (“Party of Five,” “Ghost Whisperer”) played a young mother trying to save her family financially by working as a masseuse in a parlor that offered some explicitly deep rubs to its male clientele. In the end, the parlor was busted, Hewitt’s character went to prison, and it was all very scandalous. Hewitt somehow got a Golden Globe nomination for the flick, and last year Lifetime decided to bring the project back as an ongoing series. Except, it’s NOT the same project. Hewitt plays a completely different character who goes into the same line of work. Even more bizarre, Cybill Shepherd again plays her mother, but it is a totally different mother. So weird. The cast also includes Loretta Devine, Colin Egglesfield (the failed second version of “Melrose Place”), and Naturi Naughton (the dreadful Fame reboot).

“Punk’d”
Thursday 10pm, MTV
MTV revived the “Candid Camera” format back in 2003 with “Punk’d,” a celebrity-prank show from the “mind” of puckish Ashton Kutcher. The series became a pop culture touchstone, and in its heyday, had some pretty amazing episodes—the bit where Justin Timberlake cries because he thinks the IRS is repossessing his house, cars, and property is classic. After eight seasons exec producer Kutcher stopped the show in 2007, but now it’s back, featuring a different celeb pranker each week. The premiere sees Justin Bieber terrorizing poor Taylor Swift, making her think she inadvertently blew up a yacht on which people were getting married. Other targets including Liam Hemsworth and Khloe Kardashian, who has to deal with a delivery man who gets his testicles stuck in his fly. (I’ll admit it, I laughed.)

“Game of Thrones”
Sunday 9pm, HBO
HBO scored last year with its adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire fantasy-novel series. As a fan of the books I was worried; it’s a sprawling story with dozens of characters, and the plot doesn’t really kick in until three-quarters of the way through the first book. But now that the exposition is done, shit is about to get real. The presumptive hero is dead. The “bad guys” are in control of the throne. The main family is separated and plagued by a multitude of enemies—and that’s not even mentioning the zombie knights. Season 2 will tackle the second book, A Clash of Kings, which introduces new characters, kills off some established ones, and develops several others. Rumor has it some substantial liberties are being taken with some plots and characters this season, but the showrunners have earned my trust.

“Adventure Time”
Monday 7:30pm, Cartoon Network
My art-nerd friends worship this show, and it is hard to resist its bizarre, endearing charms. The cartoon follows Finn, a teenage boy who loves going on adventures with his best friend, Jake, a smartass dog who can stretch his body at will. Finn has a crush on Princess Bubblegum, ruler of the Candy Kingdom, who is a frequent target of the Ice King, a lonely old man who keeps stealing princesses for company. Other characters include Beemo, a sentient video-game console; Lumpy Space Princess, a spoiled floating cloud; and my favorite, Lady Rainicorn, a rainbow/unicorn hybrid who loves the viola and speaks only in Korean.

 “Bent”
Wednesday 9pm, NBC
The premise of this new sitcom reminds me a bit of “Who’s the Boss?” and god knows TV has been the poorer for not having a Tony Micelli/Angela Bower dynamic on our screens for the past three decades. Amanda Peet (“Jack and Jill,” the abomination that was “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”) plays an uptight single-mom lawyer forced to downsize after her husband is thrown in the clink for insider trading. Her new home is a big fixer-upper, and so she hires a contractor (David Walton, a string of failed sitcoms) who is, predictably, a slacker surfer dude who wants her to chill out, and to maybe get in her pants. The interesting thing here is that the great Jeffrey Tambor (“The Larry Sanders Show,” “Arrested Development”) plays surfer dude’s father, and his character is giving me serious Mona vibes. We can always use more Mona vibes.

“Mad Men”
Sunday 9pm, AMC
After 17 long months, Don Draper and the rest of the Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce crew are back, bowing with a two-hour extravaganza. Series creator Matthew Weiner is notoriously tight lipped about spoilers, so very little is known about what’s in store for Season 5. At a recent press event he talked about how an underlying theme of the season is the characters dealing with the sense of rapidly changing times, which he said is similar for both the show’s 1960s setting and modern life (ain’t that the truth). We’ll have to see if that means that Don followed through with his sudden proposal to his secretary, if Lane followed daddy home to England, if the firm can bounce back from Don’s ballsy anti-tobacco ad, and if Betty and Henry can stop being boring. One thing you can count on even in turbulent times: Joan will continue to be awesome, and scorching hot.

“Leave it to Niecy”
Sunday 10pm, TLC
I adore Niecy Nash. She was hilarious on “Reno 911.” She was a delight as the host of “Clean House.” And she did pretty damned well on Season 10 of “Dancing with the Stars.” Her newest venture is a “docu-sitcom” chronicling her life with her family, including her new husband, her opinionated mother, her three kids, and her husband’s son from a previous relationship. The idea of a real-life sitcom is an inspired one, and Nash is naturally funny and charismatic enough to pull it off.

“Fashion Star”
Tuesday 9:30pm, NBC
“Project Runway” is over the hill and Bravo’s “Fashion Show” limped through two mostly dreadful seasons, but the twists to this show actually make it pretty interesting. You have your supermodel host (Elle Macpherson), your panel of fashionista mentors (designer John Varvatos, unlikely fashion mogul Jessica Simpson, and alleged style icon Nicole Richie), and your gaggle of would-be world-famous designers. But instead of concentrating on the creative process, this show will focus on salability. Each episode starts off with an elaborate fashion show, and then a panel of judges from retailers H&M, Macy’s, and Saks Fifth Avenue will try to secure the rights to sell a designer’s work. The looks selected by the buyers will be available in stores immediately. That’s pretty damned cool.

“Community”
Thursday 8pm, NBC
The Greendale Human Being is cheering because “Community” is finally back. The cult-favorite comedy got unceremoniously benched last fall after Season 3 started with —let’s be honest—a pretty crappy string of episodes. Things were getting better before the show about an unconventional study group at a community college was put into scheduling limbo. Fans of the show are justifiably concerned that NBC’s lack of support, and the less-than-stellar ratings, might lead to cancellation at the end of the year. But it is getting close to syndication territory (that makes the bean counters happy), and the show recently got a PR boost when Jim Rash, who plays the hilariously inappropriate dean of the school, won a Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar for his work on The Descendants last month. So here’s hoping the remainder of Season 3 lives up to its potential, and gets us to six seasons and a movie. It’s only fair to Abed.

“Frozen Planet”
Sunday 8pm, Discovery
The documentary filmmakers behind “Blue Planet” and “Planet Earth” return for this latest nature series, this time focusing on life in the North and South poles. After an overview, subsequent episodes focus on spring, summer, and winter in the Arctic and Antarctic, with stunning footage of seabirds, polar bears, narwhals, seals, wolves, and other astonishing creatures. In addition to a behind-the-scenes special and a chapter devoted to human populations in these extreme climates, a controversial seventh part will air dealing with climate change and how it is seriously impacting these regions and their ecosystems. Alec Baldwin narrates. 

“Breaking In”
Tuesday 9:30pm, Fox
This Christian Slater comedy about a high-tech security firm got the ax after its brief mid-season run last year. It was so dead, in fact, that main cast member Odette Annable got a new gig on the rapidly dying “House.” Then Fox did an unexpected turnaround and resurrected the show, but with some important changes. Chief among them was the addition of the brilliant Megan Mullally, best known as Karen from “Will & Grace,” who will play the wildly inappropriate boss of Slater’s character. She’ll be joined by her British assistant, played by Erin Richards (the U.K. version of “Being Human”), as well as returning cast members Slater and the adorable Bret Harrison, with Annable appearing in a handful of episodes. Mullally can only help elevate this show, but I hope this doesn’t mean we’ll be permanently deprived of Tammy 2 on “Parks & Recreation.”

“The Ultimate Fighter Live”
Friday 9pm, FX
Disclaimer: I know absolutely nothing about sports. Have never been able to get into them, with the exceptions of the Olympics and the Puppy Bowl. But even I have become aware of the surging popularity of mixed-martial arts and the Ultimate Fighting Championship, an intense competition that features guys beating the living shit out of each other in a variety of fighting styles, like karate, boxing, wrestling, etc. The sport broke into the mainstream with “The Ultimate Fighter,” a reality competition that aired on the Spike network starting in 2005. After 14 seasons the UFC is moving to FX, and season 15 of “The Ultimate Fighter” will include the same bloody, bone-crunching fights, but with some important differences: The competition is being filmed in real time, and the big weekly fights will air live. More than two-dozen fighters are involved this year, including some familiar faces from the fighting world.

“Shahs of Sunset”
Sunday 10pm, Bravo
Having found success following tacky-ass white women with the majority of the “Real Housewives” franchises, Bravo now turns its reality-TV cameras on the relatively invisible Persian-American community. “Shahs of Sunset” follows six crazy-wealthy 30somethings from a variety of Middle Eastern backgrounds. There’s MJ, the party girl; Mike, the “recovering player”; Sammy, the budding sugar daddy; GG, the husband hunter; Asa, the bohemian Iranian refugee; and Reza, who is openly gay even in this fairly restrictive community.

“Awake”
Thursday 10pm, NBC
Jason Isaacs (Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter flicks, totally butched up here) plays a cop living a fascinating double life. Months ago he was in a car accident with his wife and teenaged son. Only one member of his family lived—but he’s not sure which one. When Isaac’s character goes to sleep, he finds himself in one reality in which his wife is alive, he has a new partner (“That 70’s Show”’s Wilmer Valderama), and he sees a shrink (B.D. Wong, “Law & Order: SVU”). When he goes to sleep in that reality, he wakes up in another, in which his son is alive, he has a totally different partner (Steve Harris, “The Practice”), and he sees a totally different psychiatrist (the amazing Cherry Jones, “24”). Despite the potential for cheesiness, both realities are completely believable, the drama is compelling, and Isaacs is a surprisingly strong leading man.

“When Vacations Attack”
Thursday 8pm, Travel Channel
I’m taking my first big-boy vacation next month, heading to Mexico for a week at a resort. My mother is convinced that I will end up headless on a beach, or sold into white slavery by a drug cartel. (I keep trying to explain to her: Nobody would pay for me.) Before I head off, I plan to study up on this show, so I know what stupid shit to avoid. “Vacations” chronicles real people’s horrific getaway experiences. So you get surfers breaking their backs on killer waves, fishermen getting stabbed by marlins, elephants rampaging. I think I’ll just stick with my Kindle, the pool, and a cabana boy, thanks.

“GCB”
Sunday 10pm, ABC
With the ladies of “Desperate Housewives” bidding adieu to Wisteria Lane at the end of the season, ABC needs to fill its pumps with another dramedy about pretty women behaving terribly. “GCB”—short for “Good Christian Belles,” and formerly/awesomely “Good Christian Bitches”—is produced by Darren Star (“Sex and the City”) and written by Robert Harling (Steel Magnolias). It centers around Amanda (Leslie Bibb, “Popular”), a former Dallas mean girl who has been tamed by time, and is forced to move home to live with her mom (Annie Potts, “Designing Women”). Across the street is the former target of her high-school terror campaign, Carlene (Broadway goddess Kristin Chenoweth), who in Amanda’s absence has climbed to the top of Bitch Mountain. Expect lots of religious-infused barbs, wackiness, and steamy scenes with a variety of bohunks. —Eric Rezsnyak

 “Face Off”
Wednesday 10pm, Syfy
Remember back in the day when shows like “Project Runway” and “Top Chef” would amaze you every week with the creativity and ingenuity of the contestants? Those old dogs occasionally find some new tricks, but for the most part it’s all gotten a bit rote. This fairly new reality competition ­­—now nearing the halfway mark of Season 2—is practically bursting with crap I’ve never seen before. “Face Off” is all about finding the next great special-effects make-up artist. So each week you’ll see the contestants cook up new prosthetics, molds, or elaborate body-paint applications from scratch, and some of the work is very impressive. Challenges so far this season have tasked the artists with reimagining the characters from The Wizard of Oz, creating unique phobia-based movie monsters, and manufacturing elaborate plant-animal hybrids. It’s pretty cool, even if the editing is a bit clumsy.

“American Weed”
Wednesday 10pm, National Geographic Channel
It’s not a hot-button issue right now—let’s be honest, the country has bigger things to worry about—but the legal-marijuana movement has prompted some interesting debates in the states in which it has been accepted. This new documentary series follows several elements involved with the medical-marijuana trade in Fort Collins, Colorado. The main focus is on the Stanley family, which runs a marijuana dispensary and is working to maintain its cannabis crop and fight off a wave of anti-marijuana sentiment. The other is on the local police department, which continues to bust people growing marijuana illegally, even though they claim to be licensed dealers.

“The 84th Academy Awards”
Sunday 7pm, ABC
I consider 2011 a pretty crappy year for movies. Any body of work that culminates with a 1 in 5 chance of Jonah Hill going home with an Oscar is…grim. That said, there were some fine films last year, and this edition of the Academy Awards has some interesting stories of its own. Namely, the departure of original show host Eddie Murphy and show producer Brett Ratner after Ratner—ever the charmer—used a gay slur. As anyone who has ever sat through one of Ratner’s films (or anything by Murphy in the past decade) can attest, this is not a huge loss. So returning to host duties for a ninth time will be Billy Crystal, who was always very good at the job back in the ’90s. And if nothing else, we’ll always have Meryl Streep.