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Forgotten favorites

“The Sopranos”
Sunday 9pm, HBO

Finally! It’s taken eight years, but the final eight episodes of Season 6—and the series —begin airing tonight, wrapping up the epic tale of Jersey mob boss Tony Soprano, his family and his Family. Spoilers are hard to come by, but it doesn’t look good for Christopher (doing heroin and your mob boss’ girlfriend is not a winning combination), and I will personally be stunned if Tony walks out of all this alive. The entire series has been building toward to his inevitable fall; with some of the crap he’s pulled, he just has to get a brutal karmic comeuppance. I can tell you that the final scene was shot in a New Jersey ice cream shop. Maybe the families all get together and work out their problems over a pint of mint chocolate chip. Or maybe everybody dies. Yeah. Probably that last one.

“Entourage”
Sunday 10pm, HBO

Season 4 of the Hollywood boys’ club comedy begins with Vince working with a hot new agent, Amanda, played by Carla Gugino. Gugino’s one of those likable actresses who keep getting stuck on quick-to-be cancelled shows, like “Threshold,” “Karen Sisco,” etc. She’s also gorgeous, and I suspect she might end up getting more than her 10 percent from Vince, if you get my drift. This all leaves poor, fired Ari pretty much screwed, which of course makes his long-suffering assistant, Lloyd, even more screwed. As far as guest stars, rumor has it that an episode was written especially for Jennifer Lopez (no official word on whether La Lopez said yes), and Pauly Shore will definitely make an appearance as his washed-up self who turns his reality prank show’s lens on Drama. Yes, you read that right. Pauly Shore. Prepare yourselves now.

“Punk’d”
Saturday 1pm, MTV

Producer/creator Ashton Kutcher promises that this eighth season will be the last for this “Candid Camera” for the MTV generation. We’ve heard that before, of course, but this time it’s probably true. He’s a family man now and getting a little long in the tooth to be playing the impish frat boy card. We’ve had some laughs (denying Halle Berry entrance into her own movie premiere was pretty good, and the Justin Timberlake repo man bit remains a classic). But it’s time to put the baby to bed. Celebrities tormented by Kutcher this season include “Lost”’s Evangeline Lilly, Hilary Swank (oh, I’m sure she has a great sense of humor…), Nelly Furtado, and Magic Johnson and Jewel. Magic Johnson and Jewel? Damn, it really is time to call it quits. A sneak peek marathon airs today, before the show moves to its Tuesday night timeslot.

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The once and future idol

Oof. That’s the only literal translation for the look on Chris Daughtry’s face at approximately 9:27 EST on May 10, 2006, as he stood on the dreaded sigil during the Final Four elimination episode of Fox’s hugely rated singing competition, “American Idol.” Host Ryan Seacrest had just informed him that, “Chris, you are going home tonight. The journey ends.” Daughtry puffed out his cheeks, bugged out his eyes, and raised his eyebrows, like someone had just sucker punched him right in the gut.

The crowd wailed in angry disbelief. His competition in the Bottom 2 that night, Katharine McPhee, dropped her jaw and did a double take, clearly expecting to take the fall. Judge Paula Abdul threw her head into her hands and frantically rubbed her eyes, as if trying to wake up from whatever chemical-induced nightmare she suddenly found herself in. Judge/record exec Simon Cowell pensively ran his finger over his lips, estimating the imaginary millions that had just disappeared from his bank account.

“Uhhh…I’m a little bit in shock,” Daughtry responded, after Seacrest prodded him for a reaction. Of course he was. We all were. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Chris Daughtry was supposed to win “Idol”’s fifth season. We had all agreed on that from the minute he entered our living rooms, singing “The Letter” in the Denver auditions. He had a great voice, a great look, a great story. He was The Chosen One.

But suddenly, the would-be pop culture king was dead; felled, appropriately enough, by Elvis night. After a promising start and near limitless adulation, a surprise elimination robbed him of his sure shot at a recording contract and left his chances at post-“Idol” success in serious doubt. Sure, a handful of “Idol” runners-up like Clay Aiken and Jennifer Hudson had managed to find a modicum of success (it would be another 10 months before Hudson would win her Oscar). But the odds were that Daughtry would slip back into obscurity like the Justin Guarinis, Diana DeGarmos, and Constantine Maroulises of the world.


One of these singers is not like the other ones, one of these singers just doesn’t belong: A pre-elimination Chris Daughtry (with his Season 5 competitors) used every available path to music stardom, also auditioning for “Rock Star: INXS” and turning down a post-“Idol” offer to sing with another rock band, Fuel.

Fast forward to November 2006. The band DAUGHTRY, formed and fronted by its namesake, released its self-titled debut album on RCA Records. The disc sold 304,000 copies in its first week, coming in at No. 2 on the Billboard 200 chart. A nationwide tour kicked off two months later, with most dates sold out, some within hours or even minutes of going on sale.
Such was the case with DAUGHTRY’s April 14 show at Starr Hill Music Hall, which is officially sold-out (but everybody knows you can almost always find a ticket if you really, really try). But this isn’t just another stop on Chris Daughtry’s cross-country road trip. Daughtry is a Fluvanna High School alum. Yes, Fluvanna, just one county over, and he credits the Charlottesville area as the place where he first started really playing out as a musician. “I still have tons of friends there, and know quite a bit of people,” he told C-VILLE from a recent tour stop in Lincoln, Nebraska. “So it really is kind of like a homecoming.”


Proving that they shared more than a great head of hair, headstrong judge/record exec Simon Cowell complimented Daughtry as an “AI” contestant that “refused to compromise."

If you’re one of the 30 million or so viewers that tune into “Idol” every week, Daughtry’s return to Charlottesville is obviously a big deal. But even if you’re one of the hipster crowd, the intellectual elite, the bitter, jaded music fans who look at “Idol” and gag at its fakery, blatant consumerism, and appeal to the lowest common denominator (and you have a point there…), the Daughtry show should be on your radar too. Here’s a hard-working guy who toiled in obscurity for almost a decade. He saw this star-making machine, decided to get in on that action, played it smart, and used it to get exactly where he wanted to be. Frankly, this guy should be your hero.

No. 1 record, No. 1 singles, No. 1 videos—all “losers” should be so lucky.

“I’m going home, to the place where I belong”

While Chris Daughtry the man was born in North Carolina, Chris Daughtry the musician was born in Central Virginia. At least, that’s how Daughtry himself tells it. “That’s where I kind of developed who I am,” he tells C-VILLE.

Daughtry’s family moved to Palmyra in February 1994; his parents continue to live outside the town. He attended Fluvanna County High School, from which he graduated in 1998. He moved back to North Carolina in September 2000, and eventually settled in the McLeansville area, where he was making a living at a car shop when the “Idol” hoopla started in January 2006.

But he credits those six years spent in Central Virginia as crucial in his development as a musician. “I have great memories of the area; that’s when I got into music,” he says.
Anyone who knows Daughtry from “Idol” might have seen him play during his Virginia days and not even realized it; he had long, black hair instead of the shiny bald pate he now sports. His band at the time, Cadence, got its start at a New Year’s Eve battle of the bands at the Bomb Shelter, then a Grady Avenue bar, in either ’98 or ’99 (Daughtry wasn’t sure which). The group then played at Boudreau’s (later Wolfie’s, now Rivals) and the late, great Trax along with My Dog Lucy. Daughtry says Cadence also opened for Navel and Earth to Andy.
Andy Waldeck, who was Earth to Andy’s lead singer, is of course a Charlottesville music fixture, having also played in Egypt and X-Porn Stars and starring in several solo projects. He was also an inspiration to Daughtry, who remembers him fondly. “Andy put a lot of time into me when I was trying to get started,” Daughtry says now. “He would come out to practices and help us get our stuff tight. Stuff like that stands out to me, people who were busy enough as it is but still reached out.”

Waldeck definitely remembers Daughtry, and describes their friendship as having an “older brother/younger brother” dynamic. Waldeck recalls that he first met Daughtry and Cadence after an Earth to Andy show. “I think they all idolized the guys in Earth to Andy,” Waldeck says now. “They spoke very highly of us, always gave us great props. They just basically did a good job of shining us on—that’s the first way to get into a person’s heart. He obviously had good taste! That’s where it started.”

Waldeck says that Daughtry invited him to come see Cadence play at one of its earliest gigs at a Fluvanna High School battle of the bands. “I took a liking to them; they were a good band and super nice guys—just good guys,” Waldeck says. After that Cadence asked for Waldeck’s help in recording a demo, and Waldeck agreed to produce the project. It was recorded in a studio run out of the house of Stuart Gunter and Dave Munn, and that was Cadence’s—and Daughtry’s—first recording experience.

“We put a lot of energy into it, made it as muscular sounding as possible,” Waldeck says. “Those guys were really into Creed, Sevendust, and other heavy guitar bands. I think it opened up the door to them about how recordings are made and how to get good sounds.”
Waldeck says that he and Daughtry stayed in contact for a while after Daughtry left Charlottesville. They eventually fell out of touch until one day, after a year of not hearing from each other, Daughtry called him out of the blue to ask some questions about the music business. “It was about recordings, licensing, contracts—beginner career stuff,” he says. “He was in a band in North Carolina, doing well, making a go of it. I tried to help him as much as I could, always tried to give him some time.”

The next time Waldeck heard about Daughtry was through friends telling him about Daughtry’s “Idol” experience. Waldeck himself is not a fan of the show, but he kept up on Daughtry’s success through the newspaper and mutual friends. He hasn’t yet heard the DAUGHTRY record—although he is thanked in the liner notes, albeit as “Andy Waldek”—but says he’s heard good things.

“I’m fond of Chris, very much so, and really happy for him,” Waldeck says. “I know that he’s a really sincere guy, very talented, and deserves every good bit that happens to him.”
But he adds, “As a rule, I think those shows are ruining rock ‘n’ roll.”
“I was blown away, what can I say?”

Waldeck has a point. Since its debut “Idol” has been criticized as a glorified karaoke/popularity contest that, as Sheryl Crow recently put it, focuses on commercialism rather than artistry. (Pardon me while I go buy my Sheryl Crow Starbucks CD, read my Sheryl Crow issue of Self magazine, and buy my friend a Sheryl Crow Target gift card…) And it slingshots even the more musically experienced contestants into a phase of their career that they simply might not be ready for, robbing them of that critical coming-up-through-the-ranks experience. But you have to respect that even as the machine was absolutely using him, Chris Daughtry used it in return, to a degree that very few Idols before him could manage.


Chris Daughtry, shown here in his Fluvanna High School yearbook picture but not in his rockstar duds, credits his six years spent in Central Virginia as crucial in his development as a musician.

Daughtry has said that he was inspired by Season 4’s long-haired rocker finalist Bo Bice, and figured that if Bice could make a dent in what had traditionally been a pop- and R&B-dominated show, maybe he could too. He had previously tried out for, and been rejected by, CBS’ “Rock Star: INXS” (a good thing for him; that show didn’t even pull in a fraction of “Idol”’s viewers). But it’s easy to see what “Idol”’s judges (and producers, and millions of viewers) liked about Daughtry. His rocker voice is expressive, has a surprisingly wide range, and fits nicely on the radio next to fellow gritty-voiced acts like Nickelback. He actually knows how to perform a song, not just sing it. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s a stone-cold fox; he rocks that shaved head, works the scruff, and fills out his tight shirts and jeans quite nicely. Throw in a human interest background—hard-working, blue collar husband and step-dad working a day job until he gets his big break—and you can practically hear the “cha-ching!” sounding in Simon Cowell’s flat-topped head.

And so the show started pimping Daughtry early and often; the clip of him flipping over his cowboy hat to reveal his golden ticket to Hollywood was featured in nearly every commercial leading up to Season 5’s first episode. He was one of the most recognizable characters of the season, and fit very nicely into one of the boxes that the producers like to put the contestants into (the country girl, the crooner, the rocker). He pulled out all the rock star moves—walking with the mic stand, singing with the shades on—and man, that audience lapped it right up. He quickly became an “AI” favorite, notching buzzed-about performances week after week by covering songs from Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” and Live’s cover of Johnny Cash’s “I Walk the Line” (which caused a minor PR kerfluffle when Live fans groused that Daughtry didn’t credit the band appropriately). Cowell even referred to him as “the first artist ever on the show who’s refused to compromise.”

Well now, Simon, that’s not entirely true. To be on “Idol” at all is a compromise for even the most sugary of pop tarts. Sure, Daughtry found a way to hold on to his modern rock vibe even during seemingly incongruous theme nights, like the Stevie Wonder catalogue (he smartly chose the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ cover of “Higher Ground”) to the Great American Songbook (a lovely, grittier version of Louis Armstrong’s “What A Wonderful World”). But would a “rocker” sing those songs by choice? He had to play along within the confines of the show, and to his credit, he did it brilliantly. Guys could still feel comfortable rooting for him (yeah, he was singing Bryan Adams, but he was still gritty and wore a wallet chain! He’s still cool!). Girls could still swoon over him (he’s singing “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman”! Eee!). He endured all of “Idol”’s attendant cheesiness, like the often embarrassing group sings and the mandated Coke and Ford commercials. He even wore a bright pink polo shirt for one particularly cringe-inducing golf-themed spot.


One, two, three, flex! Chris Daughtry and the four hired guns that make up his band, DAUGHTRY, have nearly reached double platinum status behind the strength of a debut filled with hard rock and "hooky melodies."

And it’s crap like that that should make Daughtry fans happy he didn’t win “AI.” Sure, it sucks that he lost. (He told Rolling Stone that one particular fan, Lisa Marie Presley, “was first to call me [after his elimination]—I had to hold the phone about a foot from my face because of all the f-bombs she was dropping. She was pissed!”) And as he’s said in interviews, you go that far into something, you have enough people tell you that you’re a shoo-in, you kind of expect it all to actually happen. But consider that had he won, Daughtry would have been almost completely at the mercy of 19 Entertainment, the management company that runs the show and handles all of its winners. And as previous winners like Kelly Clarkson can tell you, that’s not always a good thing. From Justin to Kelly, anyone?

“I’ve finally become what you wanted me to be”

With his fourth-place finish essentially ending the threat of From Chris to Katharine or something equally ghastly, Daughtry made some decisions about his future during the “American Idols Live” tour in the summer of 2006. Nineties rock band Fuel offered him the lead singer spot based on his universally praised cover of its signature song, “Hemorrhage,” during the “Idol” semi-finals. In June, Daughtry declined, explaining to the press that he wanted to do his own thing. A month later he signed with RCA and 19 Recordings (yep, part of the group that runs “Idol”—still using that machine the best he can), and set to work auditioning the band that would become DAUGHTRY. The final lineup includes Josh Steeley (guitar), Josh “JP” Paul (bass), Joey Barnes (drums), and Brian Craddock, formerly of My Dog Lucy, who replaced Jeremy Brady as a guitarist.


"I tried to help him as much as I could, always tried to give him some time," local musician Andy Waldeck says of Daughtry’s early band, Cadence. Waldeck’s protege has, undoubtedly, outsold his teacher since then.

Throughout the “Idol” tour Daughtry worked with established rockers like Brent Smith of Shinedown and Mitch Allan of SR-71 to write songs for the debut album. And since it debuted on November 21, it has sold just shy of 2 million copies and hit the top of the charts on two separate occasions. The video for the album’s first single, “It’s Not Over,” has been a regular fixture atop VH-1’s “Top 20” video countdown, and the song is in heavy rotation on modern rock and adult contemporary radio stations.

Not too shabby, especially when you consider that “AI5”’s eventual winner, “soul” poseur Taylor Hicks, has yet to sell even 1 million copies of his disc.

Reviews for the album have been mixed, with some critics slamming a reliance on glossy production values and catchy melodies in lieu of something—anything—original. The Chicago Sun-Times opined that it “quickly reveals a serious lack of substance.” That’s not untrue; Daughtry is a decidedly mainstream effort, filled with hummable songs that stick in your head, but that don’t exactly offer any new insights into the human condition.

But that’s not necessarily what Daughtry, the man, is going for, anyway. As he recently explained to Rolling Stone, “As far as my songwriting, it was all about hooky melodies that people could sing along to. And some people have problems with songs people like.”

If Daughtry seems to shrug off the criticism, that’s probably because he can. Consider that in just 16 months the man has gone from auto parts salesman to topping the Billboard charts. A lot of the credit goes to the great “Idol” machine, but he’s working it, touring like crazy, carefully releasing singles (the second, “Home,” has just started getting radio play after being featured in “Idol”’s dismissal clips all season long), and appearing on talk shows like “Ellen” and “Live With Regis and Kelly.”

“It’s a little surreal to me,” he tells C-VILLE of the massive change in direction his life has undergone in just over a year. “I’ve obviously wanted to do this since I was 16. It’s just kind of surreal to me on this scale. I always hoped for it. To get that is like winning the lottery, it rarely happens. Tons of bands come and go that I thought were amazing, so it’s really cool that I’m able to do this.”

Daughtry is also aware of the dangers of the instant success that comes attendant with being reality show star; there’s another cast of hopefuls just waiting to take your place in, oh, seven months. “I hope to still be in the game five to 10 years from now, not just be a fly-by-night success,” he says. “I love to do this, and I’d love to be doing this 15 years from now. To still be able to put out music I love, that other people love, that people still want to hear. To still be able to play shows with my band sell out soccer stadiums.”

Asked to look back before the pre-“Idol” and DAUGHTRY madness and think about life as a struggling would-be rock star, Daughtry offers these tips to the kids now trying to make it big in the place where he first got his start: “It’s not easy. You’ve got to love what you do. There’s no formula to making it big, I found out,” he says. “I can’t say what to do to get you where you want to go, but I can tell you to take every opportunity that comes to you. Sometimes you got to walk through a bunch of doors to get to the right one. Trust me, I know.”

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“Idol” speculation

Chris Daughtry might not have caught any of his successors on “Idol”’s sixth season (“I haven’t had a chance, but I’ve been dying to see it,” he told C-VILLE), but we’ve been diligently tuning in. Here’s our take on the remaining nine finalists.

Melinda Doolittle

Here’s what Melinda’s got working against her: She looks about 40. She is short and kind of squatty. She has no discernible neck. All in all it’s an awkward little package, and America is a shallow place. Here’s what she’s got going for her: Melinda is a freaking amazing vocalist. The former back-up singer and current Queen of Nice has been referred to as a young Gladys Knight, and the comparison is totally accurate. In what is arguably “Idol”’s least talented Top 12 ever, she is a shining star every week, able to take any song, sing it superbly, and make it her own. If she doesn’t win this thing there really is no justice.

Gina Glocksen

Simon Cowell pushed Gina into the rocker grrrrl box during the semi-final rounds, and it suits her. It might not be entirely authentic (love the hair, though), but it distinguishes her from the diva crowd that’s basically running the show this season. Gina has a surprisingly wide vocal range and a lot of heart, but she’ll have a tough time making it past Top 6. Even with some great performances (The Pretenders’ “I’ll Stand By You,” Evanescence’s “Call Me When You’re Sober”) she has yet to truly electrify the audience.

LaKisha Jones

LaKisha came loaded for bear during semi-finals, killing week after week with R&B diva standards. The judges all but crowned her winner right then. A little premature, if you ask me. LaKisha has a lot in common with S5’s Mandisa and S3’s Jennifer Hudson, with that big voice and body. But like her predecessors, she has a tough time adjusting to theme weeks. And when she’s out of her element she loses a lot of her fire, as seen in British Invasion week, where she looked petrified singing “Diamonds Are Forever.” And that’s Shirley Bassey! Not really a stretch. Simon predicts a LaKisha/Melinda final two, but I suspect a “shocking” LaKisha dismissal is but weeks away.

Blake Lewis

Blake is the strongest guy in the competition, but that’s damning with feint praise. Blake’s a good performer, but a woefully limited singer. And as the judges keep telling us, this is a singing competition. Blake often covers up his weaknesses by throwing in his beatboxing, or some dance moves, or letting his eyes have sex with the camera. And I’m not going to lie—it works. But that isn’t going to win him the race. Thankfully he’s been making some smart song choices of late, and leaving the beatboxing at home. There’s hope for him yet, and he could definitely make final two.

Sanjaya Malakar

Sanjaya has become the story of the season, and in addition to Melinda, the only reason to regularly watch. But don’t do it for his singing, which is typically pathetic. (Seriously, his trademark hushed shuffle wouldn’t pass muster at  a junior high talent show.) What makes Sanjaya so compelling is that he’s done what no other Idol contestant ever has: he’s critic proof. Simon admits that it doesn’t matter how awful Sanjaya is, or what he and the other judges say. There is a group that will always vote for Sanjaya no matter what. That group likely consists of preteen girls, members of NAMBLA, and the smartasses from VoteForTheWorst.com. Oh, and hairdressers across the nation. He’s certainly inspiring millions with each new iteration of those flowing locks.

Chris Richardson

Chris is like Justin Timberlake’s little brother. But instead of bringing sexy back, he’s bringing back pinched, irritating R&B runs. It’s frustrating, because Chris should be a sure thing. JT’s style is popular right now, and Chris emulates it fairly successfully. And he’s cute as hell. But what makes Timberlake work isn’t so much his voice, but his charisma. And Chris mostly lacks that. He often looks scared to be on stage, and once those nerves kick in the melisma goes into overdrive. The guy should be a lock on Final 6, but he’s doing so poorly at this point that he could very easily go home before then.

Haley Scarnato

Haley is possibly the least interesting “Idol” contestant ever. She has yet to deliver a really stellar performance, and most of her attempts have actually been pretty crappy. A few weeks ago she wised up to the fact that she’s an ant on a show packed with female vocal giants, and decided to distinguish herself by any means necessary. And that apparently included showing off her plentiful assets. Not to be crude, but almost overnight her skirts got a lot shorter and her necklines a lot lower. Haley’s a beautiful woman, and frankly should use the gifts God gave her. Because singing won’t do the trick. It’s insane that she’s gotten this far…

Jordin Sparks

Jordin is 17. You’d never know it to look at her. For one thing, she’s a giantess (she’s the daughter of former NFL player Phillippi Sparks). For another, she’s gorgeous. And additionally, she’s got poise way beyond her years. And girl can sing. Melinda and LaKisha got a lion’s share of the attention early in the semi-finals, but a string of great performances by Jordin have increasingly made her one to watch. It’s unlikely that she’ll win—she’s probably splitting votes with the other “divas,” and it only takes one bad performance to shift those to somebody else—but she’s a delight every week, and here’s hoping for a long career for her one way or another.

Phil Stacey

I’m amazed Phil is still here. He’s a hideous thing to look at; the best description is a slightly less-pointy Nosferatu. And his singing isn’t much better. He has a tendency to completely mangle the start of a song, and when he reaches the power notes he just shrieks into the microphone. Just…no. He’s also a kiss-ass who is totally in love with himself. He’s landed in the Bottom 3 twice now, and should be put out of our misery soon enough.

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Arts

Bridge over troubled Waters

“America’s Next Top Model”
Wednesday 8pm, CW

We’re a quarter of the way into Cycle 8 and some definitive opinions on the girls have formed. The bad news: Despite some pretty faces, this is the least modelesque season yet—nearly half the girls can’t take a picture for shit. The good news: This could be the bitchiest lot ever, thanks largely to the superbly stank attitude of Renee, a gorgeous young mom whose insecurities manifest in near-constant attacks on her competitors. It’s pretty awesome. Also awesome is Natasha, a mail-order Russian bride with a tenuous grasp of the English language. For real. I ask you, where else would you find her on TV? Only on “ANTM,” folks. This season will also likely crown our first plus-sized winner, as we have two larger girls still in the competition at this point. I don’t get the Diana thing at all, but Whitney’s gorgeous and a sweetie. She just needs to turn up the fashion a bit. And since Tyra’s been getting a li’l junk in the trunk, she’s practically predestined to be the winner since we all know it’s all about Tyra.

“The Tudors”
Sunday 10pm, Showtime

Showtime continues to churn out interesting products, including this new series about the public and private battles of King Henry VIII. Series drama is perfect for this kind of juicy historical fiction (see “Deadwood,” “Rome”), although audiences seem scared off by the period pieces and accents. Push through it, folks, and you’ll likely find some scandalous plotlines, killer sets and great acting. This cast is stacked, with Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (Velvet Goldmine, “Elvis”) as Henry himself; Sam Neill (Jurassic Park) as Cardinal Wolsey; Jeremy Northam (Gosford Park, Emma) as Sir Thomas Moore; and Gabrielle Anwar (Scent of a Woman, The Three Musketeers) as Princess Margaret. With Tony Soprano and his lot scheduled to sleep with the fishes in two months, it’s a good time to get hooked on another dysfunctional royal family.

 “’Til Death Do Us Part”
Monday 10pm, Court TV

John Waters is like a god to me, so I’m glad to see him getting regular work. Alas, this odd little show isn’t quite worthy of his considerable talents. Waters plays the Groom Reaper, who narrates stories of married couples that eventually end in either the husband or wife killing his or her spouse. There are some fun elements—it mixes the whodunnit aspect of “CSI” with the macabre overtones of “Tales From the Crypt”—but it’s too campy to be taken seriously, not campy enough to be considered a guilty pleasure. The acting is generally decent, but the writing is often banal. The main man himself, however, is fabulous as always. He’s just used far too sparsely. Camp it up, John! We know you’ve got it in you. We’ve seen Desperate Living. And Cry-Baby. And Hairspray. And…

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Arts

And now for something different…

“The Whitest Kids U Know”
Tuesday 11pm, Fuse

Man, do we need a good sketch comedy troupe. Long gone are the heydays of Monty Python or Kids in the Hall or Broken Lizard or even Upright Citizens Brigade. Our country needs existentialism disguised as stupidity. Our country needs young men dressed up in sexually inappropriate costumes. Our country needs The Whitest Kids U Know. The five-man troupe is based in New York, but one of the members—Trevor Moore—actually got his start in little ol’ Charlottesville. See how he’s doing with this 10-episode show that starts tonight on the Fuse cable channel.

“This American Life”
Thursday 10:30pm, Showtime

Ira Glass’ award-winning radio documentary show hits the tube on cable’s Showtime, a channel previously known for its sex-, drug-, and violence-filled programming. Guess somebody decided to class up the joint. If you like the “American Life” radio show, you’re in luck: The TV program basically just adds video to the audio content. Glass and his intrepid team ferret out the interesting, weird and often touching stories taking place right under your nose. Among the tales chronicled this season: a California filmmaker shooting his first movie, life on an Iowa pig farm, and what goes on at a late-night hot dog stand in Illinois. In tonight’s debut episode a rancher resuscitates a beloved pet, but it turns on him. Only in America, people!

“Acceptable TV”
Friday 10pm, VH1

From the mind of Jack Black (Wait! Don’t leave yet!) comes this bizarre show that marries “American Idol” with YouTube. Each episode features five three-minute “pilots” for TV shows, and one three-minute clip sent in via the Internets. Viewers then go online to www.acceptable.tv and vote for their favorite “show.” The two pieces with the most votes come back with new episodes the next week, along with three new pilots. So America gets to decide what TV is acceptable, and what is not. A novel idea, except isn’t that kind of how TV already works? I mean, we wouldn’t have 14 “CSI” shows if people weren’t watching them. I guess the thought is that this democratizes the pitch process and also allows for more inventive concepts to make it to air instead of being killed by network heads. Except here the “network head” is the man who brought you Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny, so I’m not sure if he should be making these decisions either.

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Arts

Once more, with feeling

“Andy Barker, P.I.”
Thursday 9:30pm, NBC

Pity Andy Richter. The one-time sidekick to Conan O’Brien keeps trying to launch a successful sitcom (“Andy Richter Controls the Universe”; “Quintuplets”) but just can’t seem to find one that sticks. This go-around he re-teams with O’Brien, who co-created this show about a self-conscious accountant who, through a case of mistaken identity, unwittingly becomes a private eye. The supporting cast is formidable, including Clea Lewis (Audrey from the original “Ellen” show), Tony Hale (Buster from “Arrested Development”), and recognizable character actors in the roles of a friendly falafel shop owner and the grizzled P.I. serving as Andy’s mentor. Unfortunately, I think Richter’s about to go zero for three. The show has an affable, noir-lite vibe and features loads of great cameos. But the writing just isn’t sharp enough. And it’s a bad sign when NBC already has every episode available for free downloading on its website…

“Raines”
Thursday 10pm, NBC

Jeff Goldblum joins the growing ranks of aging movie stars finding solace—and steady paychecks—on network TV. Goldblum plays LAPD detective Michael Raines, who solves murder cases by using his imagination to conjure phantoms of the victims that “talk” to him and provide clues about the killer. NOTE: He does not solve crimes with the help of actual dead people, which is good since that’s the plot of, like, three other shows. It frankly sounds pretty convoluted, but Goldblum can be oddly charming when he turns on that googly eyed, twitch-ridden shtick that made him a star. (Remember him in the Cyndi Lauper vehicle Vibes? God, I loved that movie as a kid…) Fellow big screen refugee Madeleine Stowe co-stars as his therapist. Moves to its regular Friday night timeslot after being launched in the cushy Thursday Must-See TV lineup this week.

“Intervention”
Friday 10pm, A&E

Now this is reality TV. If you know somebody struggling with a drug problem, or gambling, or compulsive sex, or any number of addictions, make them watch this show with you. Each episode of “Intervention” focuses on a person or persons in the grips of some major addiction drama who are then forced into an intervention by their friends and family. Some of this stuff gets really confrontational—you regularly see subjects hitting absolute bottom, and it’s usually way lower than you ever imagined a person could go—and it doesn’t always end happily ever after. But the professionals involved with the show never intentionally play into the drama and the cautionary tales can totally scare a borderline addict straight. On tonight’s season premiere we meet a former therapist who lost her three kids after getting hooked on booze and painkillers, and a would-be doctor whose bulimia has completely overtaken her life.

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Arts

The Dave on the Tube

“House”
Tuesday 9pm, Fox

Hometown hero Dave Matthews has landed another acting gig (adding to a resumé that includes 2005 kid-flick Because of Winn-Dixie), this time on the small-screen medical drama “House.” Matthews plays a piano prodigy who gained his miraculous ivory-tickling skillz after being hit by a bus. The downside: The accident also left him mentally handicapped. Even worse, his character starts having violent seizures, and correcting them may rob him of his amazing abilities (and his dad, played by Kurtwood Smith of “That ’70s Show” fame, isn’t too keen on that). For Dave fans not aware of “House,” know that it is often graphic, often disturbing, and always well-written and -acted. As an added bonus, the rumor mill has it that tonight we also learn that Dr. House (the superlative Hugh Laurie) is dying. Can’t confirm or deny that, but there you go.

“Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll”
Tuesday 9pm, CW

After watching the clip for this new reality competition, it occurred to me: This is as close as we’re likely to get to “America’s Next Top Stripper.” As pretty much everyone knows, the Pussycat Dolls are a former burlesque troop turned best-selling pop music act. Since apparently there aren’t enough Dolls (there are, like, 10) there’s a national search to find young women who can properly fill the 6" hooker heels and fishnet stockings; the winner gets an actual spot in the group. Applicants must sing (what’s the point? Only Nicole handles vocals), dance (basically strut and whip their hair around), and live together in a house so that they’ll get on each other’s nerves. Best part: One of the judges is Lil’ Kim, the diminutive rapper now free from jail and, presumably, looking for a few new bitches.

“The Wedding Bells”
Friday 9pm, Fox

David E. Kelley used to be synonymous with success. The lawyer-turned-writer counts “L.A. Law,” “Chicago Hope,” “Ally McBeal,” “Boston Public” and “Boston Legal” among his credits. But his last couple offerings have bombed (I think “Girls Club” lasted maybe three episodes) and he desperately needs a hit. I’m not sure this is it. “The Wedding Bells” tells the story of the Bell sisters (oh, David…), who inherit their parents’ wedding planning business/reception space after a messy divorce. Now the three girls (Teri Polo, best known from the Meet the Parents flicks, and two also-rans) have to deal with bridezillas and runaway brides and all of that while navigating their own love lives. If the delightful “Miss Match,” starring the equally delightful Alicia Silverstone, couldn’t make a similar premise work, I’m dubious about this show’s chances. Catch a guilt-free sneak peek after Wednesday’s “Idol.”

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Arts

It’s elementary

“Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”
Tuesday 9:30pm, Fox

“Survivor” and “Apprentice” mastermind Mark Burnett came up with this new quiz show. And if anybody knows how stupid adults are, it’d be him. The concept is pretty obvious: Well-meaning adults and actual fifth graders are asked questions taken directly from basic elementary curriculum. Can they remember the names of the tribes in the Onondaga Confederacy? Do they have the ability to multiply fractions? Inevitably the answer will be “No” for the adults, and that will provide the kids with prime mocking opportunities. And I’m all for sharpening the gloating skills of America’s youth. Jeff Foxworthy hosts, which means you should be getting a whole new edition of You Might Be a Redneck If…filled with dumb-adult jokes right about…now.

“Jericho”
Wednesday 8pm, CBS

Last week this freshman drama returned from winter hiatus for 11 new episodes. The schedule is much like ABC’s “Lost,” which makes sense since “Jericho” has a lot in common with the doomed island show. Both have a great premise, and both premises have been pretty poorly executed. “Jericho” chronicles the lives of the people living in the titular small town after a big ol’ mushroom cloud appears in the sky. It seems like the major American cities have been apparently attacked and wiped out. Answers have been somewhat slow in coming, and most of the episodes deal with individual character mysteries, somewhat minor town squabbles, and the realities of life without the modern conveniences we’ve come to rely on. But some of the plots have been redundant or poorly thought out, and the momentum at times nonexistent. On the plus side: “Major Dad”’s Gerald McRaney continues to get work, and I’m all for that.

“The Winner”
Sunday 8:30pm, Fox

The line “from the producer of ‘Family Guy’” isn’t exactly a guarantee of comedy genius. The cartoon series has moments of gonzo brilliance, but a lot more moments of boring, flat filler. This live action show stars former “Daily Show” correspondent Rob Corddry as a 30-something with a serious case of arrested development. He still lives with his parents, works in a video store, and has never even done le nasty (as they say in France). He’s basically a 12-year-old in a grown man’s body. Logically he’s paired with an actual 12-year-old (Josh, played by Keir Gilchrist), and together they try to figure out the confusing world of puberty, responsibility and complicated women’s undergarments. The scenes between Corddry and Gilchrist are the reason to watch. They have great rapport and some snappy dialogue. The rest is pretty standard sitcom fare.

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Arts

Red carpet, “Black Donnellys”

“Aqua Teen Hunger Force”
Weekdays midnight, Cartoon Network

A few weeks ago Boston went into a panic when flashing devices were discovered in subway tunnels and bus shelters. Turns out, they weren’t bombs—they were promo items for this Adult Swim cartoon featuring the villainous “Mooninite” characters giving people the finger. The city fined Cartoon Network $2 million, and the network prez resigned in the wake of the “scandal.” Um, I’m no terrorism expert, but if people are going to blow shit up, they’re probably not going to use flashing cartoon characters. I’m just saying. Anyway, this gonzo ‘toon continues to be equal parts original and stupid. It stars super-powered, sentient fast-food items Frylock, Master Shake, and Meatwad, and their adventures include cloning TVs, getting impregnated by billboards, and donating used autos to the Kidney Car Foundation. Seriously. The movie comes out March 23, but until then load up on the original serialized insanity.

“79th Annual Academy Awards”
Sunday 8pm, ABC

Things we know for sure: Ellen DeGeneres will host, which should be funny. Forest Whitaker will win Best Actor for Last King of Scotland, or he will cry. Helen Mirren will win Best Actress for The Queen, or take out anyone who stands in her way. Things still up in the air: Will Scorsese end his decades-long pity party by finally capturing the Best Director trophy? Who will emerge victorious in the wide-open Best Picture field? Will recently deceased Anna Nicole Smith be included in the “In Remembrance” montage for her fine work in Naked Gun 33 1/3?

“The Black Donnellys”
Monday 10pm, NBC

This gritty crime drama was supposed to take over for “ER” last month, but got pushed back due to the medical drama’s unexpected ratings resurgence. Then it was supposed to take over for “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” next week, but after Aaron Sorkin’s struggling skit-show drama pulled in its awful numbers last week it got benched even sooner than anticipated. (Seriously, folks, I do not know what went wrong. It started out strong and then nosedived—irritating, moralizing, boring. It all went wrong so fast…) Anyway, “Donnellys” has a lot of buzz. Created by Paul Haggis (Crash, Million Dollar Baby), it concerns four young Irish brothers who get drafted into the mob. And yet, it will still probably be funnier than “Studio 60.”

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News

52

comics It’s rare that a project changes an industry, but that’s exactly what happened with 52 and comics. During the past 10 months, DC managed to publish a weekly series without missing a single deadline, even as mainstream titles went three to four months between issues. Sales for the book have been impressive, and DC reportedly plans to follow it up with another weekly series. Meanwhile, Marvel poached the series’ original editor to launch a weekly book of its own. It’s an exciting time to be reading comic books.

Perhaps the most astonishing thing about 52’s success is that it features mostly C-list characters. Set between recent company-wide events Infinite Crisis and One Year Later, 52 documents in real time a year in the DC Universe in which the Big Three—Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman—are out of commission.


Like “24,” but for comic book fans! 52 delivers year ’round action from unlikely heroes. Maybe Batman had more important things to do.

A variety of heroes step in, but the series primarily focuses on five: Renee Montoya, a former Gotham police officer who gets tangled up with mysterious detective “The Question” and the new Batwoman (with whom she shares a romantic past); the hero formerly known as Steel, who tries to stop his headstrong niece from making a deal with the devil by signing up with Lex Luthor; Ralph Dibny, formerly the Elongated Man, whose quest to bring his wife back from death leads him on a tour of the DCU’s dark and daunting mystical realms; antihero Black Adam, who has shared his considerable powers with his new “family” but watches in horror as his country and personal life are boundlessly attacked; and Booster Gold, a hero from the far future who is wrapped up in a complicated threat to the timestream.

As a result of its schedule and the panel of top-notch writers, 52 comes off soapier than most comics—many storylines take months to fully form, and others seem completely forgotten. The book also largely fails in one of its core missions: to explain some of the major changes that happened off-panel prior to One Year Later. To me, however, the story remains secondary. DC deserves kudos for trying something this ambitious, and for pulling it off so impressively.