Author: eric-rezsnyak

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Arts

Reboots and re-imaginings

 “The X Factor”

Wednesday-Thursday 8pm, Fox

Simon Cowell exports his other hugely successful televised talent show to America, and it’s already courting controversy before the first episode airs. British pop-star Cheryl Cole was initially on the judging panel, but was booted after early auditions and replaced by Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger, who was initially hired as one of the co-hosts. The rest of the judging panel is made up of Cowell, his “American Idol” compadre Paula Abdul (I’m just glad she’s getting work again; I worry about her), and record producer L.A. Reid, who apparently out-Simons Simon on the nasty front. The show differs from “Idol” by requiring contestants to audition in front of the judges and a live audience. The winner of the show receives a $5 million recording contract, the biggest prize in reality-show history.

 

“Charlie’s Angels”

Thursday 8pm, ABC

I have a well-documented weakness for pretty women who can kick my ass (see: Vampire Slayer, Buffy the; Woman, Wonder). I enjoy reruns of the original “Charlie’s Angels” series, and am not ashamed to admit that I loved the two incredibly stupid, giggly and jiggly Charlie’s Angels movies. But this new take concerns me. Drew Barrymore, who produced the film versions, is also involved this time around, but so are the guys behind “Smallville.” From the clips I’ve seen, none of these new Angels seem to possess the spark, the glamour, or the ball-busting attitude that defined any of their memorable predecessors. The closest we come is Minka Kelly (“Friday Night Lights”), who plays a street racer who joins the unit after the death of another Angel, her childhood friend.

 

“Prime Suspect”

Thursday 10pm, NBC

Helen Mirren is a tough act to follow. So when NBC announced that it was reimaging her critically acclaimed British cop show “Prime Suspect” (under the guidance of Peter Berg, “Friday Night Lights”) a lot of people wondered who would end up in the lead role of a tough, complicated female detective trying to solve crimes while dealing with an unreceptive male police force. And surprisingly, Maria Bello is a perfect casting choice. Bello has been on the radar since her one-season stint on “E.R.” back in the ’90s. Since then she’s gone on to a decent movie career (Coyote Ugly, A History of Violence), but she hasn’t gotten anything as juicy as this role promises to be.—Eric Rezsnyak

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Arts

In with the new

 “Ringer”

Tuesday 9pm, CW

Buffy is back! Well, not really, but Sarah Michelle Gellar returns to TV with this new thriller about identical twin sisters in trouble. Recently sober Bridget goes on the run after witnessing a professional hit job. She turns to her estranged sister Siobhan, a wealthy Manhattanite who has kept her past (and sister) a secret from her husband and friends. After Siobhan disappears, Bridget surreptitiously takes her place, soon discovering that Siobhan’s seemingly perfect life is even more fraught with danger than her own. The concept is high-minded for teen-skewing CW (it was originally developed for CBS), but Gellar is a pro who anchored even the wonkiest episodes of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” She’s joined by Nestor Carbonell (“Lost”) and Ioan Gruffudd (Fantastic Four), making this worth a shot.

 

“Up All Night”

Wednesday 8pm, NBC

Pity poor Will Arnett and Christina Applegate. They are both enormous comic talents who have trouble finding projects worthy of their abilities. They have had their hits (“Arrested Development” and “30 Rock” for him, “Married with Children” and Anchorman for her), but also a string of misses, including “Running Wilde,” “Sit Down Shut Up,” “Jesse,” and “Samantha Who?” They pair up for this sitcom about new parents struggling to balance their personal lives with that squealing, pooping sack of flesh that shares their genes. It’s a paper-thin set-up, but you could say the same about “Cheers,” “Friends,” “Seinfeld,” etc. The pilot was apparently reshot to include more of “SNL” alum Maya Rudolph—red hot after this summer’s Bridesmaids—who plays Applegate’s vapid and demanding talk-show host boss.

 

“Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen” 

Monday 9pm, Comedy Central

Nobody needs a recap of Charlie Sheen’s spectacular implosion earlier this year, right? The self-styled warlock of truth crazied himself out of an extremely lucrative gig on “Two and a Half Men” (which premieres with Sheen’s replacement, Ashton Kutcher, an hour before this special) and then took his porn-star “goddesses” across the nation for a critically savaged stadium tour. Comedy Central is happy to take advantage of walking punchlines, so Sheen is the guest of honor at this year’s roast, again led by “Family Guy” mastermind Seth MacFarlane. Among the celebrities readying their verbal skewers are Jeff Ross, Steve-O, and Mike Tyson. Dude, when Steve-O and Mike Tyson are making fun of your life choices, it is time for some serious soul searching.

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Arts

Trendsetters and jumpers

“Pawn 90210” 
Wednesday 10pm, E!
Pawn-store shows are big right now, between “Hardcore Pawn” and “Pawn Stars.” E! never met a trend it didn’t want to cash in on, so this special follows three formerly rich Californians looking to liquidate their assets at the “Taj Mahal of pawn stores.” One is a divorcee and widower convinced by her healer that she must sell all of her personal belongings so that she can start a new, more fulfilling life. One is a spoiled trophy girlfriend whose split from her bankrolling boyfriend has left her with a limited cash flow. And one is actress Bai Ling, who tries to pawn a vintage necklace so that she can finance a film project she believes will show America that she is a real actress, and not just a crazy woman who flashes her nipples all over Los Angeles. (But Bai, we like your nipples!)
 
“Mel Brooks and Dick Cavett: Together Again” 
Friday 9pm, HBO
Mel Brooks is a comedy legend who has given us gems over his 50-year career, from The Producers to Blazing Saddles to Spaceballs. We can forgive him for recycling his own material over the last 15 years, because dude is EGOTing. (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony.) Dick Cavett is an actor, comedian, and television host whose career has frankly always left me baffled. He’s witty and urbane, and probably makes a great party guest, but somehow carved out a five-decade showbiz career with talk shows on seven different channels. That’s a lot of hustle. Here are two smart, funny people talking for an hour or so. You could do worse.
 
Casablanca 
Sunday 8pm, TCM
Turner Classic Movies takes a novel approach to commemorating the 10th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks by inviting two first responders who were on the scenes that Tuesday morning to program the evening with some of their favorite American films. Patrick McNally, retired chief of operations for the New York City Fire Department, was on site when both of the towers fell, while Vernon Webb, retired supervisory special agent of the Pentagon Force Protection Agency, investigated the attack on the military institution. The films chosen do not have a direct link to the 9/11 tragedies, but instead resonate with McNally and Webb for personal or patriotic reasons. They include Casablanca at 8pm, the Henry Ford/Jack Lemmon Mister Roberts at 10pm, Sidney Poitier and Alan Ladd in All the Young Men at 12:15am, and John Wayne’s Red River at 2am.

 

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Arts

Boldly Going

“Star Trek: The Next Generation” 

Friday 8am-8pm, Saturday 1-6am, SyFy

It’s Labor Day weekend, which means two things: Summer is officially over, and there’s nothing on TV until the new season starts next week. So why not spend the holiday simultaneously going to the past and the future with this “Next Generation” marathon. “Next” originally ran from 1987-1994 and pulled off the rare feat of taking a beloved sci-fi franchise, modernizing it, and somehow making it both cooler and more literate. This marathon features some of the best adventures of Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) and his crew, including some intercessions with the Borg, romps with that lovable scamp Q, and even the series’ two-part finale.

“MDA Labor Day
Telethon” 

Sunday 6pm-midnight, various channels

The Muscular Dystrophy Association’s annual telethon is going through a major overhaul this year. The main broadcast has been trimmed from 21-plus hours to just six. More importantly, comedy legend Jerry Lewis—who was the face of the telethon for nearly 60 years—will reportedly not be appearing, replaced by co-hosts from reality shows and entertainment news magazines, like Nigel Lythgoe (“American Idol,” “So You Think You Can Dance”) and Nancy O’Dell (“Entertainment Tonight”). The talent line–up this year includes Lady Antebellum, Darius Rucker and Martina McBride.

“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” 

Monday 9pm, Bravo

As I write this, the premiere for the second season of the glitziest installment of the “Housewives” franchise is still set, but that’s subject to change. Two weeks ago Russell Armstrong, estranged husband of cast member Taylor Armstrong, committed suicide, allegedly distraught over his impending divorce from Taylor and massive debt. Bravo has yet to officially say how it’s handling this, but rumor has it that the series is being hastily re-edited to remove any reference to Russell. That’ll be tricky, since the season preview showed Taylor repeatedly melting down over her failing marriage. Fact is, it seemed to be a major source of drama for the season. Time will tell how the network handles this tragedy (and it really is tragic), and whether it will have an effect on the “Housewives” juggernaut as a whole. In the meantime, S2 features all of the original Bev Hills ladies—including Camille Grammer, who got a horrendous bitch edit last time—as well as new “friends,” like Brandi Glanville, infamously cuckolded by LeAnn Rimes, who looks to be a first-rate shit-stirrer.

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Arts

The end is nigh

“Buried Treasure”
Wednesday 8pm, Fox
You may have noticed that our country’s not doing so hot at the moment. We’ve got a $14.5 trillion national debt. We just finished that whole debt-ceiling drama and had the resulting drop in credit rating. And unemployment is around 9.1 percent nationwide. The average American family is hurting, and more and more those money woes are popping up on mainstream television. Take this new show, in which vaguely creepy twin brothers Leigh and Leslie Keno—supposedly world-renowned antique experts and appraisers—go through all the stuff in struggling peoples’ homes in an effort to separate the junk from valuable collectibles. But this is more than just “Antique Roadshow: Home Edition.” If the Kenos find something of worth, they’ll offer to put it up for auction. And then the families have to decide if they’re willing to part with some serious heirlooms in order to make ends meet. I can’t decide if it’s exploitative, realistic, or a public service.
 
“Livin’ for the Apocalypse”
Sunday 10pm, TLC
Most people used to dismiss the mumbling dude on the street corner with the “The End is Near” sign. More and more I think he might have a point. Snookie is a New York Times best-selling author. What more proof do you need? This special chronicles the lives of people who believe that civilization as we know it is about to go kablooey (that’s the technical term), and they have no intention of going down with the rest of us chumps. These are people who have full-on bomb shelters on their property, who have stockpiled enough canned goods and water to live for decades, or raise rabbits and tilapia so that they can be self-sustaining. They might have had egg on their faces back when Y2K and those other doomsday prophecies went nowhere, but they’re bound to get it right one of these days.
 
“Death Valley”
Monday 10:30pm, MTV
Speaking of the apocalypse, this new action/comedy is set in a world where vampires, werewolves, and zombies have besieged the San Fernando Valley. The officers of the Undead Police Force try to keep the creepies from overtaking everyday life. It looks like a bizarre pastiche of “The Walking Dead,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” and “Cops,” which just might be crazy enough to work. The cast features several familiar faces, including Bryan Callen (“Fat Actress,” “Sex and the City”), Caity Lotz (Stephanie from “Mad Men”), and Tania Raymonde (Alex on “Lost”).
Categories
Arts

Put it out, take it back

“The Hour”
Wednesday 10pm, BBC America
Likely encouraged by the critical and ratings success of AMC’s “Mad Men,” the period drama has seen a major re-emergence in the past couple of years. You’ve got “Boardwalk Empire” on HBO, “Pan Am” and “The Playboy Club” set to debut this fall, and this new British spy thriller set in the 1950s. Ben Whishaw (Layer Cake) plays an ambitious young television journalist who stumbles upon a murder conspiracy involving the elite class that he can only cover by getting a spot on a new TV news magazine. Of course things are never that simple, as he has to contend with censorship from the BBC, class issues, and—because this is television—a love triangle involving his fellow reporter and lifelong friend (Romola Garai, Atonement) and the show’s cad of an anchorman (Dominic West, “The Wire”).
 
“Do Something Awards”
Thursday 9pm, VH1
There are so many useless awards shows celebrating actors, musicians and fashionistas—people who are already getting plenty of attention and accolades for their work. A friend of mine recently opined that we should have a nationally televised awards show for teachers, doctors and other do-gooders whose work actually has a profound impact on society. The “Do Something Awards” may be the closest we get to that, as it fetes young people with a commitment to social change. All five of this year’s nominees for the main award have already been given $10,000 community grants for their projects, but the grand-prize winner will get $100,000 for his or her cause. One created an organization that collects unwanted food from moving families and donates it to food banks; one is trying to bring access to healthy food options to inner-city kids; one created a resource group for military widows from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
 
“Bear Swamp Recovery”
Monday 10pm, truTV
It sounds like a gay fetish porno, but this new reality series follows a family of repo men in New Jersey as they snatch back luxury items people can’t afford. It’s an interesting statement on our economic climate that repo men are now seen as heroic. Expect class warfare to inform the editing here, as the scale-crushing men throw their weight around, literally and figuratively, while they repossess everything from yachts to construction equipment to a fleet of racecars.

 

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Arts

Make it your own

“Karaoke Battle USA”
Friday 9pm, ABC
Karaoke is undeniably big business. Practically any decent bar has a karaoke night, and the good ones not only get packed, they get competitive. ABC has finally gotten in on the televised singing competition that has worked wonders for Fox’s and NBC’s ratings—because really, what are “American Idol” or “The Voice” if not glorified karaoke?—with this new series, which sets out to name the King and Queen of Karaoke by the end of its run. My favorite *NSYNC-er Joey Fatone tries the hosting shtick again, while the judging panel includes former Rolling Stone editor Joe Levy (say goodbye to whatever cred you have left, dude), 2009 National Karaoke Champion Brian Scott, and Carnie Wilson (!) from Wilson Phillips. Together they’ll attempt to separate the could-be Aretha Franklins from the wannabe Mariah Careys.
 
“Strike Back”
Friday 10pm, Cinemax
Cinemax, the premium movie channel formerly synonymous with soft-core spank-bank material, throws its hat into the dramatic original-programming ring with this action thriller. It’s actually not completely original; this is the second season of a show that originally aired in Britain, based on books by former British Special Air Service soldier Chris Ryan. Cinemax is showing the second season without bothering with the first, although it seems like a completely different cast. It follows a black-ops military team that tracks down terrorists, with many of the plot threads ripped from the headlines. The special effects and action sequences I’ve seen are actually fairly impressive.
 
“In the Flow with Affion Crockett”
Sunday 9pm, Fox
This new sketch-comedy show has been bouncing around Fox’s schedule for months now, and the fact that it’s being popped out on a Sunday night in the middle of summer is probably not a great sign. Crockett is a dancer, actor, writer and comedian who got his start on “Def Comedy Jam” way back in 1996. Since then he’s done a variety of film and TV projects, including MTV’s “Wild ’n Out” with Nick Cannon. In his first headlining gig Crockett will parody various pop-culture staples, like movie trailers, commercials, music videos and celebrities, with help from guest stars like Snoop Dogg, Russell Simmons, Chris Brown, and even JB Smoove from “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Jamie Foxx—who knows a little something about sketch comedy from his “In Living Color” days—is executive producer.

 

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Arts

Mobsters and Moustaches

“Take the Money and Run”
Tuesday 9pm, ABC
It’s summer, so the airwaves are flooded with cheap, easily digestible reality series. This new show at least has an interesting premise. Describing itself as a cross between childhood games cops and robbers and hide-and-go-seek, “Money” gives two ordinary folks a briefcase filled with $100,000 and tasks them with finding the perfect hiding spot in just 60 minutes. After that, actual detectives become involved, grilling the hiders and using their professional skills and resources to track down the case. If the detectives find it, they keep the cash. If they don’t uncover it over the course of 48 hours, the hiders get the money. So it’ll basically be a test of intelligence and believable lying, and those are always fascinating to observe.
 
Mob Week
Tuesday-Sunday, AMC
I’ve never understood America’s love affair with organized crime. Sure, in the old days, mafia and the like were probably crucial in protecting immigrant families that were being taken advantage of in their new country. But with the whole rebel/Robin Hood thing comes the glorified violence, the drug dealing, the intimidation, the theft, the corruption—the type of behavior that made Tony Soprano a modern American anti-hero. AMC will explore the mob mystique this week by screening a series of cinematic Mafioso classics, including The Godfather Part II (Tuesday, 8pm), The Untouchables (Wednesday, 8pm), Carlito’s Way (Wednesday, 10:45pm), Scarface (Thursday, 8pm), Donnie Brasco (Friday, 8pm), Goodfellas (Saturday, 8pm), and Pulp Fiction (Sunday, 7pm), with commentary by former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani.
 
“Whisker Wars”
Friday 11pm, IFC
Did you know that there’s such a thing as competitive facial-hair growing? How about that the “sport” has a world championship, and that historically, Germany has dominated it? Of course, as with all things global, America has to get involved, and so Beard Team USA is trying to upset the favorites by presenting its own “dream team,” culled from more than 80 American beard-club chapters. “Whisker Wars” chronicles the efforts of unofficial Beard Team captain Phil Olsen as he tries to lead America to victory in such competitions as Moustache, Partial Beard, Full Beard Groomed, Freestyle, and Full-Beard Natural. Expect lots of freaky follicles and even wilder characters, including the amusingly named Full-Beard Natural World Champion Jack Passion, who wants to be the first-ever professional beardsman.

 

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Arts

Inhuman nature

“Man vs. Food Nation”
Wednesday 9pm, Travel Channel
My niece and nephew are wild about this show, which features “food enthusiast” Adam Richman as he crosses the country stuffing his face in restaurant challenges. The current fourth season features a twist, in which Richman takes on locals at each stop and coaches them through the gorging process. Upcoming episodes take place in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, where Richman and his squire have to consume 15 sliders, two orders of fries, and three milkshakes within 30 minutes; and Louisville, Kentucky, where they’ll have to make room for a 15-scoop sundae with all the fixings. In the immortal words of Madonna, my bottom hurts just thinking about it.
 
“Project Runway”
Thursday 9pm, Lifetime
Almost a year has passed since the last season of “Project Runway,” which ended in viewer outrage as the hateful Gretchen Jones, purveyor of granny panties as fashionable outerwear, was given the win. Judges Nina Garcia and Michael Kors seemingly abandoned the judging criteria of the show in favor of picking the most trend-focused designer. I am still clutching my nonexistent pearls. Many fans claimed they would never watch the series again, so those threats will be put to the test as 20 new designers join Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn in the workroom for Season Nine. Get ready for lots more “Runway” this year; in addition to this season, an accessories-based spin-off and an All-stars season are on their way.
 
Shark Week 2011
Starts Sunday 9pm, Discovery Channel
It’s Christmas in July for nature nerds as Discovery brings back its ever-popular Shark Week, just in time to terrify you for beach season. Shark Week 2011 features a variety of primetime programming devoted to the unrelenting predators of the deep, including old reliables like the 2007 gem “Top Five Eaten Alive” or “Air Jaws: Sharks of South America,” about sharks that hurl themselves out of the ocean for a bite. Nightmares already! New this year are “Great White Invasion” (Sunday 9pm), about the increasing number of great whites popping up in human-frequented waters; “How Sharks Hunt” (Wednesday August 3, 9pm), featuring an investigation by the “Dual Survival” team on the attack patterns of different shark species; and “Shark City” (Thursday August 4, 9pm), which follows sharks of the Bahamas as they go about their daily shark business. Also look for comedy bits featuring this year’s Chief Shark Officer, “SNL”’s Andy Samberg.

 

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Arts

Let’s make a deal

“Web Therapy”
Tuesday 11pm, Showtime
Lisa Kudrow takes another stab at the sitcom with this new, improvised series. Kudrow plays a self-absorbed psychiatrist who got bored with 90-minute sessions, and now bullies her clients into three-minute, web-based hit-and-run counseling bursts that are about as ineffective as they are offensive. Kudrow is of course best known as the daffy Phoebe from “Friends,” and a few years back she tried a TV comeback with, well, “The Comeback,” her experimental HBO show that just didn’t click with mainstream audiences. (It has since become something of a cult classic with some diehard fans.) This series seems more easily digestible, and it helps that it features appearances by recognizable actors like Victor Garber, Lily Tomlin, Jane Lynch, Rashida Jones, Maulik Pancholy (“Weeds,” “30 Rock”), and the underutilized Jennifer Elise Cox (Jan from the Brady Bunch movies).
 
“Storage Wars”
Wednesday 10pm, A&E
Say what you will about reality TV, but it does occasionally capture a fascinating subculture better than perhaps any other format. Take the world of storage-unit auctions. In some areas these can become fiercely competitive, and quite lucrative for smart buyers. “Storage Wars” follows a group of prominent buyers in California, where the contents of storage lockers go up for sale if no payment has been made in 90 days. (This is how Paris Hilton’s Valtrex prescription became public record—oops.) Some of these buyers can turn $350 into $9,000 after reselling antiques, electronics, and various items that some shmuck left sitting around. Moral of the story: Pay your storage bills, or someone else will get rich.

“Same Name”
Sunday 9pm, CBS
A couple of seasons back on “30 Rock,” Liz Lemon met and dated an irritating British dude by the name of Wesley Snipes who flinched every time someone mentioned Blade. In the movie Office Space one of the skinny dweeb guys hated sharing a name with schmaltz-pop singer Michael Bolton. Those characters would probably not be fans of this new series, which combines “Who Do You Think You Are?” with “Wife Swap” and “Undercover Boss” by sending celebrities to switch lives with common folks born with the same name. So David “Baywatch” Hasselhoff has to mow lawns and change baby diapers while some regular guy gets worked over in the gym and has to spend time with The Hoff’s talentless children. I would take the 2am infant feedings in a heartbeat.