Author: eric-rezsnyak

Arts

Critical darlings

“Damages”

Wednesday 10pm, DirecTV Channel 239

Satellite-TV provider DirecTV scores its biggest coup yet, snatching up FX’s critically acclaimed but only moderately watched legal drama as the latest in its exclusive-content offerings. “Damages” returns for a fourth season (it’s also been renewed for a fifth, to air next year) with Glenn Close returning as tough, morally bankrupt lawyer Patty Hewes and the suddenly omnipresent Rose Byrne (X-Men: First Class, Bridesmaids) as her protégé/rival. This year’s season-long case explores the complicated situation of private military contractors working in the Middle East, and features John Goodman and Dylan Baker as new series regulars, plus guest spots by Judd Hirsch, Fisher Stevens, Griffin Dunne and Julie White.

“The Green Room with Paul Provenza”

Thursday 11pm, Showtime

Paul Provenza has had a stand-up comedy career for decades, but perhaps his greatest credit is directing 2005’s The Aristocrats, a hilarious, filthy documentary in which he asked funny people to offer their takes on the classic joke of the title. Provenza puts that same network of comedians to use in this unscripted series, which returns this week for a second season. “Green Room” brings together a mix of comics who then sit around a table and bullshit for a while. Which doesn’t sound too exciting, but consider some of the names scheduled to appear this season: Garry Shandling, Judd Apatow, Kathy Griffin, Bo Burnham, Richard Belzer, Dave Attell, Janeane Garofalo, Lewis Black, Margaret Cho, Richard Lewis, Jeffrey Ross, Joe Rogan. These people are going to tear each other apart, and it should be hilarious to watch.

“Breaking Bad”

Sunday 10pm, AMC

If you’re still miffed at AMC for the non-ending to the first season of “The Killing” (and apparently many people are), fear not, because the basic-cable version of HBO has yet to fail with this critical darling, back for Season Four. Bryan Cranston has won the Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Emmy the past three years for his work as Walter White, a high-school chemistry teacher who becomes an unlikely meth manufacturer to provide for his family after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. This is grim, gritty stuff that shows off the dark edges of what people are capable of, with honest, probing portrayals of understandably flawed human beings. Just keep the gas pipe firmly out of reach.

Arts

Won’t you die, already?

“Torchwood: Miracle Day”

Friday 10pm, Starz

This popular spinoff of the “Doctor Who” series returns for a pseudo-reboot, with a much more American slant. That’s because this is a co-production between the BBC Worldwide and Starz, and us Yanks actually get to see it before the Brits. The sci-fi series will feature the three remaining leads from the previous “Torchwood,” as Captain Jack Harkness and Co. investigate a dilly of a pickle: something is preventing anyone on earth from dying. Sounds great, until you consider the larger implications of overcrowding, the elderly and infirm suffering in pain, etc. The 10-episode season will also feature familiar American faces, including regular cast member Mekhi Phifer (8 Mile, “E.R.”) and guest stars Bill Pullman, Lauren Ambrose, Ernie Hudson, C. Thomas Howell and, for the geeks in the house, John de Lancie (Q from “Star Trek: The Next Generation”).

“Curb Your Enthusiasm”

Sunday 10pm, HBO

It’s hard to believe that this largely improvised sitcom has been on the air since 2000. Granted, only seven seasons have aired in 11 years, but still, that’s quite a stretch. Season eight brings professional curmudgeon Larry David back to his old stomping grounds of New York City, and brings in a whole host of big-time guest stars, most of whom play themselves. Look for episodes featuring Ricky Gervais, Michael J. Fox, Cheyenne Jackson, former “SNL” cast member Ana Gasteyer and Rosie O’Donnell, with whom David predictably gets into a feud. Is anybody not in a feud with Rosie at this point?

“Bad Girls Club: New Orleans”

Monday 9pm, Oxygen

It’s an amazing week for trashy reality series. “Teen Mom 3” debuts Tuesday on MTV, “Big Brother” starts on CBS Thursday and “Tough Love” relocates to Miami on VH1 this Sunday. But if you’re looking for truly loathsome people acting deplorably for your entertainment, check into this morally bankrupt franchise by the people who brought you “The Real World.” “Bad Girls Club” is like its predecessor, but instead of seven diverse strangers picked to live in a house, the producers cram seven “rebellious” (read: angry, loud, trampy and violence-prone) young women into a shared space and tell them not to punch each other (except they totally want them to punch each other). I know it’s terrible to condone or promote that kind of behavior, but who couldn’t use a little more hair pulling in their life? Better them than us.

Arts

I’m afraid of Americans

“Necessary Roughness”

Wednesday 10pm, USA

USA continues to crank out its female-friendly dramas with this new series about a soon-to-be divorced therapist who finds financial and professional fulfillment head shrinking a team of unruly professional football players. It’s a novel-enough concept, the pro-sports setting should provide some interesting footage, and USA has basically perfected the brassy-yet-vulnerable female protagonist between “Covert Affairs,” “Fairly Legal” and “In Plain Sight.” This time it’s Callie Thorne (“Rescue Me,” “E.R.,” “Homicide: Life on the Street,” “The Wire”) as Dr. Dani Santino. She is brought in to help fix self-destructive athletes after she has a one night stand with the team’s trainer (played by Marc Blucas, pretty-but-dull Riley from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”). Also starring Mehcad Brooks (“Desperate Housewives,” “True Blood”) and Scott Cohen (“Gilmore Girls”).

“Ugly Americans”

Thursday 10:30pm, Comedy Central

If you like completely messed-up cartoons like “Archer” or “Futurama,” you might like this very adult animated series, returning for its second season. “Ugly” creates a Manhattan where humans live side-by-side with all manner of supernatural creatures. Vampires, zombies, demons, living brains, warlocks, yetis, robots, koala people, Croatians. It goes on like this. The lead character, Mark, is a human social worker who works to integrate these assorted freaks and monsters into society. He’s also sleeping with his half-demon boss, who is dating Mark primarily to piss off her hellraiser of a father. Rounding out the cast are Mark’s trustafarian zombie roommate, his pervert wizard co-worker, the delightful Twayne the Bone Raper, and a woman with 11 breasts and a face where her crotch should be. I told you it was messed up.

“The Twilight Zone”

Monday 8am-4pm, Syfy

America is a weird place. We begat Snooki. People are trying to argue that Sarah Palin’s totally bonkers version of the Paul Revere legend is the “true” story. Millions of middle-aged women are getting the vapors over sparkly vampires and a prepubescent tween. Look around you: Are you sure we have not somehow slipped into “The Twilight Zone”? It would explain a lot, truly. To celebrate our nation’s birthday Syfy airs a weekend full of creepy-programming marathons, including Rod Serling’s Cold War-era masterpiece of paranoia and mind-buggery. (The marathon also runs Sunday 9am-5pm.) If you’re looking for televised fireworks, NBC and CBS are both scheduled to air big-budget displays Monday night.

Arts

What do you see?

“Wilfred”

Thursday 10pm, FX

Well, here’s something different. Elijah Wood stars as Ryan, a down-on-his-luck young man who finds help from an unlikely source: his neighbor’s dog, Wilfred. To everyone else Wilfred is a regular pooch. To Ryan, he is an Australian dude in a shoddy dog costume. He can talk, he can walk, he can mock, and he’ll probably hump someone’s leg at some point. So it’s kind of “Calvin & Hobbes” meets Harvey. It’s a remake of an Australian sitcom of the same name (so…not totally different), and the series creator—Jason Gann—reprises the dog role in this series. Look for appearances by Ethan Suplee (“My Name is Earl”), Chris Klein (a spate of terrible ’90s teen films), Rashida Jones (“Parks and Recreation”), Jane Kaczmarek (“Malcolm in the Middle”), and Mary Steenburgen.

“Young, Broke, and Beautiful”

Friday 11pm, IFC

If you’re a fan of travel, there’s no better hipster to have at your side than Stuart Schuffman, a.k.a. Broke-Ass Stuart, who has become something of a cult hero for telling people how to explore our big, bad globe on a starving, misunderstood, would-be artist’s budget. Broke-Ass Stuart started out by writing a zine about living cheaply in San Francisco, which was turned into a popular book, which begat work for the Lonely Planet guides, which led to this new travel series, which led to even more books. So I’m guessing his nom de plume isn’t entirely accurate anymore. In this season Not-So-Broke-Ass Stuart will show you cool, low-cost things to do in Baltimore, Boston, Detroit, Memphis, New Orleans and San Diego.

“True Blood”

Sunday 9pm, HBO

Those wonderful, trashy vampires are back. I know some people had some issues with Season 3, but I loved it. Evil gay vampire Russell made for some hilariously awesome moments, we got lots of hot, naked werewolf dudes, and Sookie literally cut someone. Tens across the board! Witches will be central to Season 4, as you might have guessed based on the magic storyline involving Lafayette and Jesus last season, as well as the introduction of vaguely menacing Wiccan waitress Holly. But that’s just the beginning. Look for a convenient bout of amnesia to bring two of the leads closer, more werepanther weirdness with poor Jason, more scenes with ball-busting vampiress Nan Flanigan, and of course more filthy sex and gory deaths for your enjoyment.

Arts

Aliens again

“Jon Benjamin Has a Van"

Tuesday 10:30pm, Comedy Central

You might not immediately recognize H. Jon Benjamin, but he’ll probably sound familiar. The comedian has been getting steady voice-acting roles in cartoons for years now, on series as far back as “Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist,” and as recent as “Bob’s Burgers” and “Archer,” where he puts that sexy baritone to knee-weakening use as the voice for the reprehensible lead character. Benjamin has also appeared on “Important Things with Demetri Martin,” but this show could be his big live-action break. In “Jon Benjamin Has a Van” he’s dropped the “H” and picked up a roomy vehicle, with which he travels across our great nation and covers news stories in a mockumentary style, often inflicting himself into the proceedings.

“Voltron Force”

Wednesday 8:30pm, Nicktoons

It’s a good time to be a child of the ’80s. You’ve got The Smurfs and The Muppets movies coming out, “Jem” is finally coming out on DVD and there are new cartoon versions of classic shows like “Thundercats” and “Voltron.” The basic gist of the latter is five teens piloting fabulous robot lions to do battle with evil space pirates. When the going gets tough, they can merge to form the mechanical samurai Voltron, who inevitably dispatches the beastie of the week by drawing his kickass sword and slicing it in half. This new toon version follows the original Voltron squad five or so years after their last battle, as they set out to battle a new space menace and train some recruits. Here’s to hoping for lion rides in exciting new colors!

“Falling Skies”

Sunday 9pm, TNT

Now that “V” and “The Event” have been canceled, there’s room for another alien-invasion show on TV, and this one looks promising. Noah Wyle (“ER”) stars as a history professor who survives the initial onslaught of a massive alien attack and now puts his military knowledge to use helping a makeshift insurgency in Boston. Also in the resistance is a pediatrician (Moon Bloodgood, Terminator Salvation, possessor of the best actress name ever) who strives to treat and parent the children left orphaned by the attacks. This show will focus on the more practical aftermath of a planet-changing event, akin to AMC’s “Walking Dead.” Expect ethical dilemmas and personal stories of survival, but also a few special-effects baddies as well.

Arts

Never ending stories

"The Glee Project"

Sunday 9pm, Oxygen

Fox’s teen musical “Glee” continues to be a huge hit despite the fact that, after two seasons, any unbiased viewer could agree that it’s mostly awful. And since every modern American teen thinks that he or she has what it takes to be a star (and also deserves to be one), the producers of “Glee” realized they could milk this phenomenon a little more aggressively. Hence this reality competition, which will award the winner a multi-episode guest role next season. More than 40,000 applicants have been whittled down to 12 contenders, which include a dreadlocked pouter who ironically rocks a keytar, an incredibly obnoxious Latina, and a flamboyantly gay boy who screams a lot—to name a few.

"Keeping Up with the Kardashians"

Sunday 10pm, E!

I have done my best to ignore the Kardashian klan, hoping that eventually it would disappear in a burst of sulfur and wig glue. But the Kardashians aren’t going away, at least not anytime soon. They are everywhere. They now have four reality shows on E! They’re on the covers of every tabloid magazine, every week. Kim is trying to launch a singing career, for Cher’s sake. Their family branding involves a level of fame-whoring unlike anything I have ever seen. This season look to these terrible, fake people to get involved in more terrible, fake drama, including Kim’s staged engagement. If you want to see a couple with real class, tune in at 10:30pm for the premiere of “Ice Loves Coco,” featuring erstwhile gangsta rapper Ice-T and his elegant goddess of a wife, whose bodacious figure looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket.

"Teen Wolf"

Monday 9pm, MTV

The geniuses at MTV went back to the craptacular 1985 Michael J. Fox movie Teen Wolf and decided to turn it into another dreary teen supernatural soap. How you get neo-gothic horror out of a movie that saw Fox in a fur suit and fangs dunking on a basketball hoop in front of an entire school of adoring fans is beyond me. Anyway, this new “Teen Wolf” series features yet another freshly waxed emo boy playing a lacrosse player who gets bitten by a werewolf and worries about how it will affect his chances with girls. Stupid demonic teens. Some people have real problems. Call me when you have a mountain of evil credit card debt you can’t pay off.

Arts

Blowing up

“Destroy Build Destroy”
Wednesday 8:30pm, Cartoon Network
Cartoon Network has been expanding outside the animated realm for several years, including with this live-action game show, now entering its fourth season. “Destroy Build Destroy” lives up to its name as two teams of teenagers blow up assorted objects using bazookas, rocket launchers and other explosives, use the leftover parts to build a new vehicle, compete to see who has the better creation, and then blow up the losing project. So it’s intended for boys, and grown-ass men who still act like boys. (Read: most of the adult male population.) Overseeing the wanton destruction is Andrew W.K., a musician you may remember from his incredibly stupid 2001 anthem “Party Hard.”

“Surviving D-Day”
Saturday 9-11pm, Discovery Channel
If Memorial Day made you wish you knew a bit more about the sacrifices our servicemen and women made for this country, this two-hour documentary on the 1944 battle for Omaha Beach is a good start. “Surviving D-Day” examines in minute detail the 12-hour siege, using war records, forensics, and testimony from veterans of the battle to recount some of the more mind-blowing details that helped save the day. We’re talking codes and maps hidden in watercolor paintings, exploding dummy paratroopers and the lifesaving effects of buckle-strap designs—fascinating stuff even for non–war buffs.

“Switched at Birth”
Monday 9pm, ABC Family
ABC Family has carved out a nice little niche for itself with teen-centric dramas, and while the execrable “Secret Life of the American Teenager” somehow stays on the airwaves, it has been joined by some decently-made guilty pleasures. “Switched at Birth” has potential to join those ranks. As the title implies, it tells the story of two families brought together after they discover that their teenaged daughters were swapped in the hospital as infants. While one of the girls grew up privileged in an upper-middle-class family, the other was raised by a struggling single mother, and also went deaf after contracting meningitis—a novel twist that could, if handled properly, lead to some thoughtful explorations of deaf culture. The cast includes Lea Thompson (Back to the Future) as the stuck-up rich mom, Constance Marie (“George Lopez”) as the single one, and recent “Celebrity Apprentice” runner-up Marlee Matlin.

Arts

The O’s end

“The Oprah Winfrey Show”
Wednesday 4pm, NBC29
After 25 seasons and more than 5,000 episodes, the Queen of Talk ends her award-winning talk show. It’s impossible to overstate Oprah Winfrey’s influence on modern American culture. Her show has been home to some major pop-culture moments. Ellen DeGeneres came out on her stage in 1997. Liberace gave Oprah his last interview in 1986. And Tom Cruise will never live down that insane couch-jumping incident in 2005. Details on the final show are being kept under wraps, but rumor has it you can expect major stars like Beyoncé, Madonna, Will Smith, Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts and John Travolta.

“So You Think You Can Dance”
Thursday 8pm, Fox
Another new season, another fairly major shake-up for “So You Think You Can Dance.” Last year saw the ousting of screaming ballroom expert/Hot Tamale Train conductor Mary Murphy from the judging panel, replaced by mega-talented but mercurial contemporary-dance genius Mia Michaels. Michaels is gone again—reportedly she’s not involved in Season 8 at all—and Murphy is back where she belongs, alongside producer/judge Nigel Lythgoe and, regrettably, Broadway guy Adam Shankman. But the bigger change is a hybrid of the original Top 20 format with last year’s all-stars experiment. After the initial auditions and the grueling Vegas week, 20 dancers will compete on the live shows. When they’re whittled to a Top 10 they’ll be paired with great dancers from seasons past. Sounds like a brilliant idea to me, especially if it means more time with Pasha and Anya.

“My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”
Sunday 9pm, TLC
After exposing the secret lives of polygamists, hoarders, child-pageant mothers, and strangest of all, the Palin family, TLC turns its attention to another bizarre subsection of humanity: the gypsy/traveler community. “Gypsy” is actually a British documentary series that scored major ratings when it premiered in the U.K. The seven-part series offers a look at a group of people who follow very different, very old religious and cultural traditions, but who also embrace the modern celebrity-obsessed culture. Look for an American gypsy doc from TLC later this year.

Arts

Epic disasters

“The Good Wife”
Tuesday 10pm, CBS
The future is uncertain for this critically acclaimed drama, which wraps up its sophomore season tonight. Ratings have never been great, but I hope it gets picked up for a third go-round, because it’s easily one of the more interesting shows on CBS’s procedural-dominated schedule. The amazing Julianna Margulies stars as Alicia Florrick, whose life gets ripped apart after her politician husband (Chris Noth, Mr. Big from “Sex and the City”) is busted in a sex and corruption scandal. To support her family Alicia is forced to return to the legal career she left behind years ago, which she ultimately sticks with even after her husband is cleared of his corruption charges and returns to public office. The show can sometimes get a bit soapy for its own good, but the stellar cast—also including Josh Charles (“Sports Night”), Christine Baranski (“Cybill), Alan Cumming, and Emmy winner Archie Panjabi—makes even the most ridiculous plot lines compelling.

“Tornado Rampage 2011”
Sunday 9pm, Discovery
On April 27, 2011, nearly 200 tornadoes were recorded and more than 300 people were killed when massive storms swept through the Midwest and South. The crew from the Discovery Channel show “Storm Chasers” was right in the middle of the action, filming for their next season in which they intentionally try to follow and document Mother Nature gone wild. This special collects some of the most incredible footage captured by the Chasers crew during that outbreak, when they were caught between multiple tornadoes. Even these professional weather junkies/crazy people say they’ve never seen anything like it, so it should be worth a watch.

“Too Big To Fail”
Monday 8pm, HBO
Several books and movies have already been released detailing the disturbing details behind the 2008 economic crisis, and the subsequent bailout of several giant financial institutions by the American government. This new HBO Films original adds to the list, with director Curtis Hanson (L.A. Confidential) focusing his lens on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson (here played by William Hurt) as he tries to find some way to fix an unthinkable scenario by appealing to both Wall Street financiers and the politicians in Washington. The rest of the cast includes Paul Giamatti, Ed Asner, Cynthia Nixon, Bill Pullman, Topher Grace, Matthew Modine, James Woods and Kathy Baker. Might as well clear the Emmy ballots now.

Arts

Wives’ tales

“Smallville”

Friday 8pm, CW
After 10 seasons, this sci-fi drama about the teen who would become Superman wraps up with a double-sized series finale. “Smallville” started out with a novel concept, promising a “no tights, no flights” examination of the Superman myth filtered through the prism of mopey teen isolation. Over the years it got more and more convoluted; Clark Kent started using his powers more freely and even donned a sort of costume, and a variety of characters from the comics crossed over, including Doomsday, the Justice Society and the New Gods. In the finale look for the return of several former cast members, including Annette O’Toole and John Schneider as Ma and Pa Kent and Michael Rosenbaum as Clark’s arch frenemy, Lex Luthor.

“Desperate Housewives”

Sunday 9pm, ABC
It’s season finale time on Wisteria Lane. If this season’s plotlines seemed a little cyclical—especially the return of Paul Young and the rehashing of all the murders that kicked the series off—it’s because season seven was initially intended to be the series’ last. Instead, the show will return for at least one, possibly two more, with this season’s addition, Vanessa Williams, sticking around with the founding four housewives, Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, Felicity Huffman, and Eva Longoria, who all signed new contracts last month, ending speculation that one or more would be getting the axe at the end of the season. (Hatcher and Huffman in particular were rumored to be out the door.) That doesn’t mean things will end nicely—they never do on this show. Expect child endangerment, the breakup of a major long-time couple and, of course, a murder.

“Real Housewives of New Jersey”

Monday 9pm, Bravo
Trouble-making “prostitution whore” Danielle Staub is gone, which is a concerning departure, considering she generated 90 percent of the drama on the first two seasons of this reality series. But in keeping with the family theme that sets this “Housewives” apart from the rest of the franchise, the two new cast members—Melissa Gorga and Kathy Wilkie—are both related to table-throwing, shit-stirring MVP Teresa Giudice. Gorga is her sister-in-law, and Wilkie is her cousin, and allegedly they all hate each other. Awesome. Rumors have swirled about some horrifying brawl at a christening and the continuing legal and financial problems of Giudice and her husband, and Caroline Manzo will almost certainly continue to be great, so I am totally in for this one.