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Street closure “measure of last resort”

Congested traffic is an issue for anyone who lives in Charlottesville, but for those that stand to be affected by the development of Biscuit Run and the 30,000 increased vehicles per day it promises to deliver, the dilemma is one of invasion and threat to quality of life. To head off this expected infringement, a group of concerned city citizens who live on and off Old Lynchburg Road (OLR) have publicly and vociferously called for OLR to be closed at Azalea Park, near Fifth Street.

On February 4, City Council (www.charlottesville.org) took the proposal under review. While they pulled up short of closing off one of the city’s main collector roads, the Council did not take the idea off the table.


Fry’s Spring neighbors clamored for the City to close Old Lynchburg Road at the county line at the February 5 City Council meeting, but staff pointed out that traffic would likely increase in front of the elementary school on Harris Road.

City staff flatly rejected this option, as it would shift traffic from a collector road to local streets and increase traffic volumes immediately adjacent to an elementary school. Where would the cars likely go? A mile north of OLR, past Food Lion, onto Harris Road. It takes nearly the same amount of time to take it past Jackson-Via Elementary School, then through dense residential neighborhoods on Willard Drive and Cleveland Avenue.

Staff also concluded that eliminating a key connection would set a dangerous precedent of road closure as a viable transportation safety solution. Most damning, they found that current OLR traffic levels—5,300 vehicles a day—are not only adequately absorbed but could stand to be increased.

A mere quarter mile south of OLR is Sunset Avenue. Plans are to build a connection to Fontaine Avenue from Sunset, so help is on the way, albeit not for a few more years. Until then, staff recommends a series of improvements to OLR—construction of sidewalks, bike paths and road safety improvements. If funding cannot be secured for the Fontaine connector, City Council will be forced to take up the issue of OLR closure again, but only—as Mayor David E. Brown said at the City Council meeting—as “a measure of last resort.”

C-VILLE welcomes news tips from readers. Send them to news@c-ville.com.

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Single payday lending bill still alive

Only one bill regulating the payday lending industry has survived the 2007 legislative session (www.legis.state.uva.us). Passed by the Virginia Senate and awaiting House debate is State Bill 1014; the bill would create a State database of all those who borrow from so-called cash advance centers. The database would allow lenders to monitor limits on loans and would also restrict to three the number of loans a borrower can have at any one time.


Several State legislators hoped to reign in the interest rates charged by payday lenders, like this one in Belmont, but only one bill remains alive in the 2007 session.

While it places some restrictions, it hardly dispels opponents’ qualms. Critics of payday lending point to the high rate of repeat borrowers and the fees that some of the centers enact upon tardy payment. “The legislation that’s passed is not the best reform but it’s all that’s out there right now,” says State Senator Creigh Deeds (www.creighdeeds.com), who represents Charlottesville and much of Albemarle. Although he has mixed feelings about payday lending, he was moved by the sheer volume of consumers. “470,000 Virginians used the service last year, that’s some indication that there’s a market for it,” he says. “There are people who live week to week who don’t have choices when it comes to needing credit, people that are so desperately poor that they’ve got to pay rent, or pay utility bills or buy groceries. And this is the only credit that’s available.”

Deeds did vote for a 72 percent cap on the annual interest per year that a payday lending service can impose. That cap, like a proposed 36 percent cap that died in committee, failed to gain adequate traction. “It seems to strike the wrong sort of chord within your soul that someone is charging more than 72 percent interest,” laments Deeds. “I probably would have voted for the 36 percent cap.”

As it stands, a payday lending service can charge up to 391 percent per annum for a two-week loan, but can only loan $500 or less at a time. How cash-lending services make their money is by charging $15 for every $100 loaned. So if the lender advances the full $500 he may charge up to $75 for issuing said loan. Under current law, pay lenders must extend a due date to at least seven days after the money is advanced, but if the loan is not repaid by the specified date, the lender may begin accruing interest at a maximum rate of 6 percent a year.

“Is it perfect? No,” Deeds says. “Politics is often not about perfect, it’s about the possible.”

[Track SB 1014 in the VA Legislative Information System]

C-VILLE welcomes news tips from readers. Send them to news@c-ville.com.
   

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State GOP chair tackles party woes

As the chairman of the Republican National Committee, Edward W. Gillespie was at the helm of the party in its glory days, when the Republicans trounced the opposition in 2004 and retained both the presidency and Congress.


The advice from state GOP Chair Ed Gillespie? Republicans should scrub out the dirty officials and pork projects to regain the party’s "birthright."

It ain’t like it used to be. Gillespie has felt firsthand the lows of 2006 as a political consultant and spokesman for George Allen; he now serves as chairman of the Virginia Republican Party (www.vagop.com). On January 31, he spoke at UVA’s Miller Center about what happened in 2006 and where the future lies for the GOP.

“In politics, nothing is as good or bad as it seems,” he stated, then addressed 10 house seats that were lost on the part of wrongdoing by what he called S.T.P. candidates: “stalkers, thieves and perverts.” Acknowledging that Iraq was a factor, Gillespie also pointed to what he termed “brand destruction” on the Republican side. “We allowed voters to perceive that we were not being serious and good stewards of the money, somewhat symbolized by the bridge to nowhere,” he said, invoking the pork project of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens. “We gave up our birthright as a party in some ways.”

Although he admitted that President Bush had been a drag on Republican candidates, Gillespie also defended the head of his party. “I think history will show he was a great president who made the right decisions at critical times.”

Gillespie’s solutions for recent party woes were as pat as his defense of the commander-in-chief. Slipping into election mode, Gillespie advocated the extension of “No Child Left Behind” legislation to high schools and called for a balanced budget within five years. Even the latter statement failed to provoke incredulity from the elderly audience. The amiable crowd eagerly listened, laughing in appreciation of his asides. “I love Howard Dean and hope he’s chairman of the Democratic Party for a long time,” Gillespie said. Guffaws and cackles poured forth.

C-VILLE welcomes news tips from readers. Send them to news@c-ville.com.

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Biscuit Run traffic at last addressed

For the third time in a month, the County Planning Commission (www.albemarle.org) convened almost solely to discuss Biscuit Run. But on this occasion, January 30, they were joined by the City Planning Commission, and for the first time offered comments on what is possibly the biggest issue with the project: the traffic problems and solutions for the 3,100-unit development in southern Albemarle.

The evening began with a presentation by County Transportation Planner Juandiego Wade that analyzed a traffic study of the impact an anticipated 30,000 new vehicles would have on nearly 30 existing roadways. After acknowledging that developer Forest Lodge LLC (largely Hunter Craig) had been “helpful and responsible,” Wade ultimately gave a harsh assessment: “[T]here is still a significant gap between what the applicant has proffered to do and what is needed in the future for an acceptable level of service.”


Road improvement plans for Biscuit Run weren’t all well received. "Widening Route 20 to four lanes would significantly reduce the quality of my family’s life, the value of my property and the safety of my children," said Steven Levine, who lives just south of Biscuit Run.

The densely populated room stirred. When the public spoke, the form of response varied, as some appealed to reason, others to emotion (even a few tears were shed). Many locals filed forward to plea for more bike trails to help reduce potential traffic woes.

The collective planning commissions agreed. “Any road improvements should include a bike path,” said County Chair Marcia Joseph. A connector road between Avon and Fifth streets seemed like another solution.

What was less clear was how to proceed. Kevin Lynch, a City councilor speaking as a member of the public, suggested that the commission focus on the potential for connections within the county that are not headed in the direction of the city. Heads nodded in approval.

County Commissioner Calvin Morris offered a common sense approach that would call for the County, City, UVA and the developers to sit down and hash everything out. Cheri Lewis, City planning commissioner, provided a nice stamp on the night’s confused proceedings. “I feel like it’s a slippery fish we have in our hands,” she stated. “City staff would like to know where we stand.” That went for everyone.

C-VILLE welcomes news tips from readers. Send them to news@c-ville.com.

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Something in the air

On January 8, two curious stories made the rounds of the national media. The first came out of New York City where reports surfaced that sometime in the early morning, commuters had detected a strong gas-like smell that wafted through Manhattan and soon overtook neighboring areas. The smell was alarming for a city continuously tense with the possibility of terrorist action. Schools and buildings were evacuated as a precautionary measure and workers from a nearby gas plant were sent to test for the mysterious cause of the odor. As the day and story developed, officials were still unclear of the nature of the source but could assure the public that whatever the substance was, it was not toxic. “It may just be an unpleasant smell,” Mayor Michael Bloomberg said. Meanwhile, in Austin, Texas, part of downtown was being closed after 63 birds were found dead. Ten blocks were temporarily shut down as workers in yellow haz-mat suits tested for contaminants in an area near the state capitol and the governor’s mansion. Authorities finally gave the “all clear” in the afternoon.


“It’s not necessarily what people would deem cutting-edge technology, says Avir’s Keith Holland, middle, of the low-cost, easy-to-use sensor. Laufer, right, and Avir’s Roger Reynolds, work out of a small lab near O-Hill.

“Both are very interesting events from our point of view,” says Gabriel Laufer, a University of Virginia professor for 20 years and the founder and president of Avir (www.avirsensors.com), a company that has developed a detection sensor for such a predicament. “Had there been an actual toxic release the level of casualties would have increased because people were walking out rather than staying indoors.”

In Austin, as in Manhattan, employees spilled out into the streets in an effort to flee the suspected substance. As Laufer sees it, he has created a machine that would prevent the panic that surrounds incidents like those of January 8. “Think of the cost of all the evacuations that day,” he says, always the pragmatist. “Nothing happened and it was already expensive.”   

Welcome to America circa 2007, a time of terrorism both imagined and real, when any odd occurrence is immediately suspected as the result of perfidy. While Charlottesville has thus far avoided any episode, it has played a part in the battle against the suspected enemy. As in any time of war and the corresponding military awakening it inspires, it pays to be in the defense business and in that sense Charlottesville has struck a vein of gold. In 2005 alone, some 37 area entities accrued more than $25 million in Department of Defense contracts (This number includes UVA but not the National Intelligence Center or Sperry Marine or the subcontractors that work for them) for a wide array of services. Puff, Inc., for example, installs foam roofing, insulation and waterproofing systems for various structures on the East Coast, some of them military. Or there is the retired psychiatrist who could tell me only that he treats soldiers who have just returned from war but could not divulge where he performs the therapy. Among this predictable crowd is Avir, as unlikely a candidate as exists for defense funding yet one of Charlottesville’s largest recipients.

There in the Aerospace Research Laboratory, situated in a drab one-storey building on the side of Observatory Hill, Laufer and a team of three researchers—Keith Holland, Roger Reynolds, Robert Zehr—work tirelessly to perfect their creation, a remote optical sensor that reads the infrared emission of airborne chemicals. In one lab, a silver airtight duct girds the ceiling. Inside, a sensor sits, poised to detect chemicals that have been injected into the secure environment. While most of the chemicals used are benign, Laufer and his staff did fear for their well-being once when they backed in a truck to pipe in diesel fumes. “We filled the whole room with it,” says Laufer, laughing at the memory. “We almost died here.” The experiment—to see if the sensor could read a specific chemical even with the presence of a high amount of diesel exhaust—was a success even as the scientists choked on fumes.

Down the hall in another lab, a prototype of the sensor rests on a tripod. The size of a small shoebox and encased in purple steel casing, it is pointed in the direction of another purple box which contains the heat source that the sensor depends upon to increase the sensitivity of the chemicals’ infrared. “The sensor has learned to recognize about 25 chemicals,” says Laufer. He is trying to explain to me, an ordinary mortal, how the contraption works and points to a small silver disc inside. “The only thing in this box that really matters is this round block,” he says. I stare at it. “There are 16 little holes, each hole has an infrared detector, and radiation/infrared goes through an opening, and a spinning mirror projects radiation into one detector at a time. Each one is sensitive to a different part of the infrared spectrum.” O.K., I think I understand it…barely. Clearly, the man is operating on a level of intellect my mind rarely dares approach.

“He’s one of the smartest people in the department or even the school,” Hossein Haj-Hariri gushes. As a professor and current chair of the department of mechanical and aerospace engineering, he has known Laufer for almost 20 years. “He’s just very brilliant!”

Brilliant: family, friends and colleagues all called upon the adjective to describe the inventor. One need not look much further than his resume for proof. First there are the four degrees, all earned in the heady areas of mechanical and aerospace engineering. In addition to the nearly 50 published articles, Laufer has written three books, including a textbook, the plainly stated Introduction to Optics and Lasers in Engineering. As it was printed in 1996, I ask the professor if he has plans to update it. He tells me no and then explains. “Publishing a book is mainly an exercise in ego,” Laufer says, breaking into a smile. “I’ve already had my ego stroked.”

Still, there are a lot of intelligent people at UVA, but very few have a company, let alone one like Avir. For that, Laufer drew on a lifelong penchant for practicality. While the ability to break seemingly complicated elements down into simple terms is a trait found throughout academia, it rarely translates to something practical (beyond a textbook). According to his wife, Liora, it is a talent “Gaby” (rhymes with “Abbie”) has always possessed. She met the professor when she was only 16 and he 20, and a student at Technion. Born in Budapest, Hungary, in 1948, Gaby and his parents moved the following year to the newly independent state of Israel. Two decades later, the student spied his future wife dancing with a friend and asked to trade partners. “He saw his opportunity and took it on the spot,” remembers Liora.

“And we switched and that was the end of it.”

The next few years were a blur of activity as Gaby made his way through Technion University in Israel. In 1973, the newly married couple faced the travails of Israeli life during the Yom Kippur War. Six months into their union the emerging scientist was drafted to serve in the artillery, as the leader of a surveyor’s unit. In 1975, the couple left for America so Gaby could attend Princeton in New Jersey. That same year, their first son was born. As the boy grew and the couple added a daughter and another son, Liora noticed her husband employ his success at simplification on his children. “When they needed to do something, he always had a way to bring a side that you would never think of,” she recalls. “If the kids came up with a problem he was able to see through all the dust, and was able to pinpoint and say, ‘This is the problem.’ And then as soon as he pointed it out, you’d say, ‘Oh, that’s so simple.’”

I saw this ability firsthand of course as Laufer took me through the science of his creation. “It depends on naturally occurring infra-red deviation,” he said of the sensor. “Warm bodies emit continuously. Night vision reads infrared emission,” giving me an example of a widely known use of the technology. “The difficulty is that different objects emit radiation differently. You and I emit differently than the wall. There is radiation coming from the wall and we could detect it by facing the wall, but we need to account for the fact that it’s different.”

To counter this dilemma, Laufer and his team created a two-piece, open-path system. To demonstrate Laufer takes me into the hall. At one end is a heating source, what Laufer refers to as a “glorified headlight,” that is essentially made of a small heating coil that operates much like those in an oven. One-hundred feet away, we stand under the purple box that reads the infrared given off by chemicals, their sensitivity increased by the heat. “A stationary sensor is faster to respond to chemicals at lower concentrations than a handheld would be,” says Keith Holland, Avir’s 28-year-old vice president for research and development. A transfer from James Madison University, Holland first worked with Laufer on a project that was a partnership among UVA, Litton PRC, and NASA. The brainchild of Laufer, the program culminated in the successful launch of a student-designed payload aboard an Orion sounding rocket at NASA’s Wallops Island, Virginia, facility. While working on the project, Holland switched over to do preliminary research on the first generation of Avir’s Totally Optical Vapor Analyzer (TOVA).

By that point Avir had received the first of its public grants when after four years of failed proposals and frustration, the Virginia Center for Innovative Technology awarded $90,000 in State money. July 1, 2001, was a seminal moment. Private investors soon fell in and federal money was not far behind. In 2003, the Pentagon, specifically the Office of Naval Research, awarded Avir a service contract for $69,971, the first in a series of defense contracts that eventually totaled over $3 million. “They wanted us to develop a sensor that would fly suspended from a UAV,” says Laufer. “With the idea that it glides across an altitude and looks down and detects anything that happens down there.” The next year, the newly formed Department of Homeland Security recognized the potential of Avir’s sensor for domestic security and kicked in an additional $1.1 million. One of the initial grants was for a sensor that would be placed near air ducts. By last October, when the defense contract finally ran out, Laufer and his team had developed functional prototypes of the remote sensor and are busy working on a handheld version. As 2006 approached its close, marketers were hired to identify potential consumers, and negotiations with manufacturers initiated.


“Gaby is very effective,” says one investor. “When he works on a problem, it gets done."

To get Avir where it is, Laufer had to fall back on the prescient lessons his wife, Liora, witnessed him instruct his children in. “Now I can see him doing the same thing with the company,” she says. Indeed, Avir seems to be the culmination of a lifelong dedication to this ideal, both in the way the TOVA sensor functions and the manner in which the company operates. “Gaby is very effective,” Robert Capon, Avir’s initial private investor and one of its directors, says. “When he works on a problem, it gets done.”

This type of attention was put to the functionality of the machine. “It’s not necessarily what people would deem cutting- edge technology,” admits Holland. Almost from the beginning, Laufer knew that what he wanted to create and what the market demanded was a low-cost, easy-to-use sensor. Narrowing the focus allowed Avir to avoid the dilemmas posed by most of the sensors currently available (well over 100 in number). Many of them cost thousands over the less than $10,000 price tag Avir is offering theirs at, while the more inexpensive competition, often handheld versions, typically suffers from several liabilities. First, a handheld sensor has to be right in the presence of the offending chemical because the machine operates by sampling air. “As you would imagine, if it’s not where the chemical is, it’s not going to detect it,” says Laufer. “To protect a large space like a subway station, it’s going to have a limited effect.”    

Since they must sample air, the handheld sensors are also contaminated quickly. Finally, they’re fairly slow for response, taking up to a minute to diagnose the particular agent. By employing infrared technology, Avir’s sensor is able to read chemicals within one second.
From a business perspective, Avir’s model was complicated. Formed from technology developed at UVA, Avir essentially treats UVA as a subcontractor. Of Avir’s six employees, three are hired by UVA but paid through funds awarded to Avir. Laufer is technically one of Avir’s employees, as are two subcontractors, one based in Crozet, the other in Yorktown. The University is also a business partner, and as the technology for the sensor was originally conceived at UVA, the University owns the intellectual property. Accordingly, it stands to make significant royalties once the sensor enters the production phase. While UVA has only begun to encourage such spin-offs, other universities have long sponsored such activity. Cisco Systems and Hewlett Packard are but two companies that originally started at Stanford, which still makes a substantial amount from both.

“You realize I’m sitting on both sides of the fence,” Laufer says. As an employee of both UVA and Avir, Laufer immediately recognized the potential for a conflict of interest. “And you need to do it such that it’s legal and fair. And it needs to be fair to both sides, to the company because a company has investors, to UVA because they are hosting us. It’s very difficult.”

His department chair, Haj-Hariri, seconds Laufer. “If he wanted to not be careful it would be very difficult to track the money and he could basically keep the money for himself while using the resources of the University,” he says. To avoid such a scenario, Laufer carefully worked with the Provost’s Office and regularly reports to an oversight committee. Each contract awarded has to be approved by the Board of Visitors and signed off on by President John Casteen. “I think we did find a way so that UVA and Avir both feel comfortable with it and will both become successful,” Laufer adds. “That’s how good businesses work.”

With several prototypes finished and functioning, Avir seems to be in a lucrative position. “This is a very large market,” says Capon. “You can just imagine the number of entities that need the sensor, and if they need the sensor they would need a number of them.” He invoked possible customers, calling attention to subway systems, government buildings, and chemical plants. Still, Capon, like many involved in the project, is also quick to stress the sensor’s potential benefit to the public. “If we can help prevent injury or loss of life of even one person, it’s really worthwhile what we’re doing,” Holland echoes. “If we happen to make money along the way—as Dr. Laufer says—we won’t complain about that either.”

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Captain Tunes and His Fabulous Noteguns

music During a break midway through Saturday night’s sold-out show at Starr Hill, an audience member suddenly reached for singer Bob Girard’s head.

As Girard instinctively leaned forward, she grabbed a thatch of his hair and he beamed in response.


Captain Tunes and His Fabulous Noteguns keep on rockin’ in the modern world—no geezers allowed.

His mane had lasted, and so had Girard and his bandmates. And, as evidenced by a packed venue, the fingers raking through his hair and a loyal audience that began following Captain Tunes and His Fabulous Noteguns during the mid-’70s, even the enthusiasm remained. And all are impressive feats for a band that played at the 1976 opening of the Downtown Mall.

While there were physical reminders that much time had passed, the music did not show it. Here again were faithful, energetic versions of classics by Little Feat, the Grateful Dead, Van Morrison, the Rolling Stones, and the Allman Brothers. Front man Girard sang with all his might, almost lithe in his movements, but it was guitarist Bo Randall who truly defied encroaching age, delivering extended solos on songs like “Layla” and “Bertha” to an electrified crowd, already primed by opener the Charlottesville Blues All Stars (Dick Green, Doug Jay, Paul Hammond, Steve Riggs).

“Those of you who stuck around,” Girard told the jubilant revelers, “you each get a thousand dollars.”

As the night changed into early morning, Captain (rounded out by Charlie Pastorfield and Gibby and Ralph Dammann) continued to play on, determined to pay them in songs. Although this reviewer admits to stifling a yawn or two, neither the crowd nor the band seemed to tire, keeping up a pace normally reserved for those half their age. Forget 2007; it was 1977 all over again. At least for one night.

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The NGIC effect

Houses are built for people, and people generally must have jobs. Presumably in the mind of every local housing developer, perhaps tucked in a recess or perhaps beating violently at the fore, is the thought of how to catch some of the swarm of 800 government employees descending upon Albemarle County as the National Ground Intelligence Center (NGIC) (www.avenue.org/ngic) expands its facility.

In May 2005, the Pentagon recommended as part of its realignment that certain select Defense Intelligence Agency intelligence analysis functions be relocated from Washington, D.C. to a new facility in Albemarle County. The recommendation was contingent on the acquisition of 48 acres next to the already existing site of the National Ground Intelligence Center off Route 29, two miles north of the Charlottesville airport. That acquisition was in turn contingent upon Albemarle County altering boundary lines in the existing growth area in northern Albemarle.

Get ready for longer lines at Target: The National Ground Intelligence Center will expand to a new 219,000-square-foot facility two miles north of the Charlottesville airport to accommodate over a thousand transferring Pentagon employees.

After a year of wrangling, the County Board of Supervisors agreed to do so, clearing the federal government to purchase the land from owner and über-developer Wendell Wood for $7 million. The concurrent sale opened the way for the eventual construction of a 219,000-square-foot facility that will house employees from the current NGIC center as well as relocated employees. The Joint Intelligence Analysis Center will potentially bring in 800 new employees beginning as early as 2010 and as a result the County has undertaken studies to examine the effect a new workforce will have upon the community.

“We’re looking at both the traffic and the housing impact as part of the Places29 Master Plan,” says Judith Wiegand, senior planner for Albemarle County. “If you can imagine a thousand more cars at 5 o’clock spilling out onto 29,” adds Sally Thomas, the lone member of the Board of Supervisors to vote against the boundary line change. She cites a potential staggering of work hours and carpooling as two options to help reduce the number of vehicles involved.

Then there is the matter of housing. Two planned mixed-use developments along Route 29N—Hollymead Town Center and North Pointe— stand to benefit. But the effect on housing is complicated by the transient nature of the workforce that will be flooding into Albemarle. Two-thirds will simply be relocated and it is unknown how many will choose to actually move into Albemarle, as the facility borders Greene County. There is even the chance that some employees will merely commute from their current housing. All the unknowns add to the importance of early planning and to that extent a late February workshop with the County Planning Commission will be the next step.

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Woodlands kills woodlands

On December 10, a thick forest of trees sat idly alongside Sunset Avenue Extended, separating the developments of the Villas at South Ridge and Jefferson Ridge. Four days later, the trees were gone, and in their stead stood a barren landscape of red clay upon which 300 residential units will be built. The development is one in a chain of “Woodlands” developments by Georgia-based Dovetail Companies, which has built them in other college towns like Athens, Knoxville and College Station. Designed for students, Woodlands of Charlottesville will be a gated community with “high end” amenities: volleyball courts, a fitness center, a putting green, an endless pool. And all those other Woodlands seem to have made Charlottesville’s version a well-oiled machine: Despite the fact that ground was only recently broken, they’re in full advertising swing, having opened an office on the Downtown Mall hoping to draw in parents looking to invest in swanky living for Junior’s bright college years. Developers want housing ready by August 2007.

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An urban hunt, property as prey

“I’ve definitely got some properties that I know are my troubled areas that I need to check on regularly,” says Cory Jordan, a property maintenance inspector for the City, while making his daily tour at the wheel of a City-provided sedan. As one of two full-time inspectors (a third is part-time), Jordan is responsible for the neighborhoods surrounding the University as well as the Fifeville neighborhood. While excess garbage and unlawful growth of weeds are both frequent offenders, cars are the main item of the day.


Jay-Z says the streets is watching, but so is City property inspector Cory Jordan—so clean up that trash and get that car inspected.

Jordan spots a minivan parked in a yard with a “For Sale” sign in its windshield. “I cited this one about 10 days ago,” he says and gets out of his car to check. Under City Code a vehicle must have an up-to-date inspection along with current tags on its license plates, though a property owner may avoid this rule if the car is completely covered from view—the green minivan has neither the required tags nor a cover.

“I’m trying to get in touch with him,” Jordan says as he drives away. He has a history with the owner. “If I can’t over the next couple days, I’ll have it towed.

“As long as people call us and talk to us and let us know what’s going on, we’ll just about bend over backwards to try to help them out.”

His next stop is a perfect illustration of this principle: As Jordan looks over another offending minivan with expired tags, the owner approaches. After Jordan apprises him of the situation, the owner begs for leniency: “How long can you give me?”

“I’ll work with you,” Jordan replies. “I don’t mind extending you some time as long as you work on it.”

When Jordan spots a black car with no tags, he takes special note. Jordan has sent the owner repeated notices and, except for an irate phone call, the owner has refused to even respond. The car was blocked in when a tow truck was previously sent.

Today, however, the car sits with unfettered access, so Jordan grabs his cell phone and dials the police, letting them know that the car is finally accessible. “I will no doubt hear from that guy,” Jordan says. “Probably by the end of the week.”

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The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players

music The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players (TFSP) are, literally, well, a family of slideshow players: Jason, the father, plays guitar and keyboards and sings, daughter Rachel beats the drums and mom Tina Piña adds vocals while she directs the slideshow. The TFSP website contains a succinct description: “We take vintage slide collections we’ve found at estate sales, garage sales and thrift stores, and turn the lives of anonymous strangers into pop-rock musical exposés based on their slides.” On Friday night at Starr Hill, TFSP took the ambitious concept
one step further.

“TFSP on Ice” was the sixth annual version of their holiday show, and, on a subfreezing night, the Family was nattily dressed all in white, characters in their own “Winter Wonderland.” A three-part play of sorts—where the three sat around a table and delivered lines—added to the kitschy artifice. After Jason delivered many of his lines, a laugh track ensued and sparked real cackles from the small audience.

“That canned laughter sounds like a hockey game,” Tina said after one such incident. “When are we gonna get a real laugh track?” “At least I get all the laughs,” Jason replied, to more giggles both artificial and genuine.

The hilarity also translated to the musical performances, where Jason was prone to long, comical introductions and even a mid-song break. “I’m peaking. Seriously folks I’m peaking, like Peking Duck,” he said as the crowd guffawed. “I should use that as our laugh track,” he responded.

The music fit neatly into the feel of the evening. Jason is a veteran of the anti-folk scene of early 1990s New York (that also featured Beck at one point), and, with only scant augmentation (Rachel bangs out the most basic percussion), songs like “Military Open-Mic Night” and “Beautiful Dandelion” had a decidedly lo-fi feel. “We’re not different from anyone and neither are any of the other bands,” Jason said. Projected on a screen behind them, the slides—many of them snapshots from moments in random people’s lives—contributed to the homespun aesthetic.

We could’ve easily been sitting in someone’s living room listening to them deliver droll descriptions of their vacation, but thankfully we were not; the charming musical vignettes provided both entertainment and amusement. “Every word of this song is true, and thanks for coming out tonight,” Jason said, before delivering the night’s final tune, “You’re All Right with Us.” TFSP were all right with us, too.