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August 2010: Real Estate

 If you’re like a lot of homeowners these days, you’d probably love to go green. Energy efficiency retrofits, high-efficiency furnaces and solar panels are home improvements that can save thousands and thousands of dollars in energy bills over the years. But high upfront costs have so far kept many folks from adopting practical energy saving improvements—it costs $25,000 to install a solar panel system on a typical residential property, which is out of reach for most homeowners. 

 

Helping homeowners make those investments is the main mission behind an effort gaining momentum around the country called Property Assessed Clean Energy, or PACE. Nineteen states (at last count), including Virginia, have passed legislation that would allow municipalities to establish PACE programs. The Obama administration has dedicated more than $100 million in stimulus money to fund them. California’s pilot program, like others, has become quite popular. 

PACE works by allowing people to borrow money from municipalities for energy efficiency upgrades and pay it back over 15 to 20 years through a special assessment added to their property tax bill. What this means: Your property taxes will go up but are offset by lower monthly utility bills. So your property tax bill might increase by $100 or so, but your energy bills may drop by $200-$300. In some instances, like with the installation of solar panels, the utility bill becomes fixed. As conventional energy costs continue to rise, the use of solar panels allows you to pay the same amount for energy for the next 20, 30, or 40 years, which is a huge savings over the course of a lifetime. 

The problem with PACE is that the loan is technically a property tax assessment and is therefore regarded as a lien—it must be paid back before existing mortgage debt. So if the homeowner goes into foreclosure—not all that uncommon these days—the energy loan would have to be repaid before the lender gets any money. 

This is why PACE loans are really only an option for people who have equity in their homes, great credit or no mortgage.

Recently, there has been pushback from mortgage insurers Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, who—perhaps rightly so—don’t want to be on the hook if green-minded homeowners default on their mortgages. The two lending giants have sent letters to local governments across the country, causing many to suspend their PACE programs.

It’s unclear how this will all play out since Fannie and Freddie are owned by the government, which supports the PACE initiative. For now, the Energy Department released guidelines for pilot PACE financing programs that urge municipalities to conduct energy audits to ensure homeowners will see reduced energy costs as a result of upgrades, and that assessments should be limited to 10 percent of the property value.

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July 2010: Real Estate

 It’s been hammered into people’s heads for so long that home ownership is the way to go, that potential buyers forget that’s not always the case. Especially right now, when real estate markets remain shaky in many parts of the country, the home you buy today could fall in value tomorrow.

Of course, the decision to rent versus buy boils down to many factors: how long do you plan to stay in the house? Do you have the required 20 percent down payment? Are you looking for a comfortable retirement home that won’t deplete your life savings? Do you sense housing prices will continue to fall? 

To determine whether it’s more prudent to rent versus buy right now, use the “price-to-rent ratio.” Here’s how it works. Take two houses of similar size and condition—one for sale and one for rent—in the same or comparable neighborhood. Add the total cost of renting the rental property for one year. Divide the price of the home for sale by the annual cost of the rental property. 

If the resulting number is between 1 and 15, it’s much less expensive to own than to rent a home. In other words, the price of the home is most likely near its low, making buying a good choice.  

If the number is between 16 and 20, then buying becomes more expensive than renting (though it still might make financial sense, depending on the situation…keep reading). If the price-to-rent ratio is more than 21, the total costs of owning a home are much greater than the costs of renting. This usually signifies an overheated market where there is a chance the price of housing will fall (maybe, eventually), making renting a better option. 

According to truliablog.com, in the top 10 cities for buying, the price-to-rent ratios range from 8 to 11. Note that a lot of these cities—Miami, Phoenix, Las Vegas—were hit hardest when the housing market collapsed. Subsequently, home prices had to come way down to compete with foreclosures that flooded the market.

In the top 10 cities for renting, ratios range from 33 (New York) to Dallas (19).

So where does our area fall in the rent-versus-buy equation? We looked at a selection of three-bedroom, two-bathroom homes for sale versus rent in Albemarle County. All the homes were roughly the same square footage and built on quarter-acre plots within the last 25 years. The average sale price of the homes was $299,000; the average monthly rent, around $2,400. For all comparisons, the price-to-rent ratio was between 9 and 11, which indicates sale prices are at or near their low, making buying a better option than renting in Albemarle County.  

Of course, the sale price of a home doesn’t reflect the total cost of home ownership, points out Jim Duncan, Realtor at Nest Realty and blogger at realcentralVA.com. “You have to factor in all the transactional costs—Realtor’s commission, attorney fees, state transfer taxes—plus property taxes, and homeowners insurance. These aren’t costs renters have to think about.” But given that the local price-to-rent ratio is on the lower end of the spectrum (hovering between 9 and 11), even when those costs are factored in, buying may still be a better choice than renting.

So when does it make sense to rent versus buy around here? The most obvious: When you can’t afford a down payment. Renting is also smarter if you’re only planning to stay two to four years—which is not enough time to build equity or recoup the transactional costs that come with closing on a property. In other words, you’d be throwing money away.

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June 2010: Real Estate

 Even though the word “foreclosure” has lost much of its stigma in recent years, thanks to Wall Street recklessness and subsequent bailouts, it’s still a state most homeowners would prefer to avoid. Not only does foreclosure wreck a homeowner’s credit score for years to come, but the very word conjures up feelings of failure. (Banks’ smoke-and-mirror lending practices have fueled untold foreclosures in the first place, but that’s another story.) 

 

There is another way out from under a monster mortgage. It’s called a deed in lieu, which is a deed instrument in which the borrower gives the property back to the lender. Borrowers forfeit all equity they’ve earned in the home in exchange for the cancellation of the outstanding debt. They simply walk away from the property as if they were renters returning keys to a landlord. The lender, meanwhile, avoids hefty legal costs related to a foreclosure.  

There are several advantages to this arrangement. The most obvious is that it releases the borrower from future payments, and the lender promises to stop all foreclosure proceedings. It also makes less of a dent in the borrower’s credit score. And it just sounds better than “foreclosure.” 

The disadvantages, however, aren’t insignificant. Walking away from equity can be like walking away from an IRA or a 401(k): The lost investment can be in the tens of thousands of dollars, if not more, depending on how long the borrower has lived there and improvements made to the property. Also, the borrower can expect her credit score to drop by 150 to 250 points. That’s not as low as it would drop through foreclosure, but the hit stays on one’s credit report for around seven years (borrowers have to request to have it removed after that amount of time), which can make applying for a new mortgage before then difficult. Experts say two to three years is the average amount of time to wait before applying for a new mortgage. Also, a borrower cannot get a deed in lieu if there are second or third mortgages, home equity loans or tax liens against the property because the primary lender does not want the complication of multiple lenders attached to the property.

Another drawback: Borrowers can’t force this type of deed on lenders. Typically, lenders require proof that the borrower has been actively trying to sell the property for at least two to four months before they’ll be convinced the delinquency was due to “unavoidable hardship.” That’s three to four more months of late or missed payments, which can make a borrower’s distressed financial situation ever more precarious. Even then, there’s no guarantee the lender will enter into this type of agreement since lenders, especially these days, prefer cash over real estate. They might already be saddled with multiple homes in a similar state. In fact, most lenders won’t agree to a deed in lieu unless it’s the only way to avoid hefty foreclosure expenses or they determine they can turn around and sell the house for a profit. 

The borrower might also have to pay income tax on any resulting equity that went toward anything other than the home itself. The new Mortgage Forgiveness Debt Relief Act of 2007 allows homeowners to exclude up to $2 million in forgiven debt if the loan was used to buy or improve the house. But if equity was put toward the renovation of a second home or buying a new car or saving for a child’s college fund, the homeowner will owe income tax on it, which can run into the tens of thousands of dollars. The only way to get around this is to file for bankruptcy—always the last resort. 

To learn more about a deed in lieu, refer to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development’s “Deed in Lieu of Foreclosure Option.”

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May 2010: Real Estate

 With interest rates still at a historic low, some homeowners may consider refinancing from a standard 30-year fixed rate mortgage to a 15-year mortgage. Nationally, it seems a lot of folks are doing just that—the Mortgage Bankers Association says that one in four refinance applications in March was for a 15-year loan, up from 12.2 percent the year before.

 

There are a few key advantages to this strategy, says Jason Crigler, residential mortgage specialist with Crown Mortgage in Charlottesville. 

First of all, 15-year mortgages generally have lower interest rates than 30-year mortgages. Right now, interest rates on a 15-year FRM (fixed rate mortgage) stand at 4.4 percent, compared to 5.07 percent for a 30-year FRM, according to the most recent available figures from Freddie Mac. Both rates have been declining on average since January 2009, and may continue to fall.

Why the differing rates? It’s because “the shorter the term, the less likely inflation will become a factor over time—it’s a less risky investment for the lender,” explains Crigler. “But when a loan is spread out over the course of 30 years, inflation becomes a bigger concern. The interest rate has to absorb those fluctuations.”

The second plus to a 15-year FRM is that while the monthly payments are higher—though not double, notably—the term of the loan is half (down from 360 to 180 months), so the borrower saves a huge amount in financing charges. A larger portion of each month’s mortgage goes toward paying down the principle, not interest.

As an example of just how much savings, consider the following: The monthly payment on a 15-year FRM of $200,000 at 4.4 percent is $1,520. The monthly payment on a 30-year FRM for the same amount at 5.07 percent is $1,082. That additional $438 per month for a 15-year FRM might seem painful in the short term until you consider the long term savings. Interest paid over the full term of that 15-year FRM is $73,561 compared to a whopping $189,598—nearly the amount of the loan itself—for the 30-year FRM. 

One would think that the low-low-low interest rates would drive demand for 15-year mortgages, but Crigler says that hasn’t been the case in the Charlottesville area. Not only do a lot of people erroneously assume the monthly payments will be double—they’re not, they’re more like 25 to 40 percent higher—many can’t afford increased monthly payments of anything right now, given the current economy.

But a 15-year mortgage is a great option for those looking to refinance or who’ve already paid down a portion of their 30-year FRM. “I love seeing clients choose a 15-year fixed over a longer term loan, if they can afford it and it makes sense for their situation,” he says.

If you’re concerned you can’t afford a 15-year mortgage, the lender will remove any guesswork by taking you through a much more stringent application process to determine whether your income qualifies. This is a sharp contrast to the application process of years past, when anyone “with a pulse could basically qualify for a loan,” says Crigler. “These days, it’s a lot tougher to get into a real estate situation you can’t afford.”  

For more information about current (and always changing) interest rates on various types of mortgages, check out Freddie Mac’s Primary Mortgage Market Survey at www.freddiemac.com.

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April 2010: Real Estate

 Buyers know they hold the cards in the current lackluster housing market, but there’s one obstacle they might be wary of: misrepresentations by home sellers. 

Nationwide, there have been reports of eager sellers exaggerating square footage and acreage, minimizing property taxes or utility bills, conveniently forgetting about past problems with termites or insisting that charming propane stove in the living room really is capable of heating the entire house.

Local broker Michael Guthrie advises that buyers never, ever waive a home inspection—their only line of defense against undetected problems.

Former Charlottesville Area Association of Realtors (CAAR) President Michael Guthrie, CEO and principal broker at Roy Wheeler Realty Co., says that while he’s heard of such shenanigans, homebuyers in Virginia are actually less likely to become embroiled in costly real estate mistakes than in other parts of the country. 

For one thing, stiff competition means that “sellers are having to work that much harder to put their homes in much better condition to sell,” he says. “Buyers have the luxury of going back to a home three or four times—often with a home inspector—so any problems that exist are usually found. Deals fall apart if the buyer finds out the seller is being disingenuous or withholding information.”  

Secondly, Virginia’s disclosure laws place the onus of responsibility on the buyer, in what is known as caveat emptor (let the buyer beware). The seller signs a document disclaiming any warranties or representations as to the condition of the house—he or she agrees to sell it “as is.” The buyer is then free to perform his or her own due diligence by bringing in a home inspector, licensed engineer, land surveyor, geologist, insect expert, etc. 

While this may seem like more work and expense for the homebuyer, it also eliminates any gray area. Disclosure laws in more than 30 other states, on the other hand, require sellers to disclose any and all problems—but only those problems they have actual knowledge of. There very well may be issues the seller doesn’t know about, such as hidden mold or a long-ago insect problem, but this technicality may open the door to obfuscation. 

Another protection for Virginia buyers is that if a home is listed with an agent, that agent is required to disclose any problems. Guthrie advises that buyers never, ever waive a home inspection—their only line of defense.

Virginia sellers are also not required to divulge any structural changes—the addition of a bathroom, a new sunroom, etc.—not built to code unless they’ve already been cited in violation of local building laws by the city or county (if a county building inspector hasn’t already discovered that the new deck is held together by duct tape, it’s not up to the seller to share this information). 

Sellers also don’t have to reveal the existence of any historic district ordinances or resource protection areas—in other words, it’s not up to sellers to explain that adding on to a home in historic downtown or in the Chesapeake Bay watershed is not allowed. Nor do they have to alert buyers to the proximity of sexual offenders. 

The same laws apply to bank-owned homes transferred in foreclosures, which now account for a larger percentage of sales. 

Here are a few of the more common misrepresentations a buyer might hear when shopping for a home.

• “This is a really quiet neighborhood.” Noise pollution is subjective, so the only way to determine if it’s too loud is by spending enough time on or around a property at different times of the week—during the day, the weekend, weeknights—to get a sense of whether it’s too loud for you. 

• “We live on three acres.” Just because a fence line looks like it encloses three acres doesn’t mean the property actually is three acres. Request an updated plat or survey. 

• “What flooding?” Signs of past flooding in the basement are usually caught during the inspection, but sometimes they’re missed. Make a point of asking the listing agent directly. If he knows, he’s obligated to disclose the information in the state of Virginia. 

• “No bugs here!” A home inspection generally doesn’t cover insect damage. Hire a pest specialist to go over the home.

• “Taxes are low.” Ask to see recent tax bills, and check with the tax assessor’s office for updated information.—Jessie Knadler

 

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A groom wins his bride with old-fashioned persistence

For Kim West and Ed Clark, it was love at second sight—the first sight failed to ignite passion.

Ed, 58, says he has an excuse for this. The first time he met his future bride, in February 2008, he was dead tired. He’d been on a plane for 36 hours, returning home to Waynesboro from Africa, where he occasionally travels as part of his job as president and co-founder of the Wildlife Center of Virginia. 
 

Kim West and Ed Clark

October 17, 2009

Photo by Sarah Cramer Shields

That evening, Ed was scheduled to attend a wine tasting dinner at a friend’s house in Charlottesville. One of the guests was Kim West, 46, a scientist for Johnson & Johnson. Ed thought the thoughtful, intelligent brunette was attractive, but witty banter didn’t exactly fly off his tongue. “We talked a bit,” recalls Kim. “Nothing clicked.” 
 
But Ed wasn’t going to allow something as trivial as mutual indifference to hinder him from getting to know the lovely Dr. West. The next morning, he e-mailed Kim. Kim was surprised to receive a message from the tired guy she’d felt zero chemistry with, so her response, she says, veered more toward eh than exuberant.
 
But Ed continued to e-mail Kim; she graciously rebuffed him each time. Soon, the e-mails graduated to phone calls. It was now spring—Cinco de Mayo. Ed invited Kim for a drink at the restaurant Guadalajara. She relented.
 
Over margaritas and guacamole, Kim was pleasantly surprised by Ed’s charm, intelligence and wit. “We laughed hysterically for four hours,” she says. She was also impressed by how much he’d accomplished in his life.
 
Once they started dating, they realized each represented the yin to the other’s yang. “Kim is very thoughtful, very analytical, she’s a scientist,” says Ed. “I tend to be a lateral, mind-wandering creative thinker. I have all these big ideas—”
 
“—I’m very detail-oriented,” Kim interjects. “He’s not at all.” 
 
The dichotomy also posed its share of challenges. “I’m really decisive; I come on strong. I wanted to see Kim all the time,” says Ed. “But Kim analyzes everything. She kept coming up with reasons why it wasn’t a good idea, why we needed to slow down.” 
 
Eventually, Ed’s persistence softened Kim’s resistance. There was talk of marriage. One day, Kim offhandedly remarked, “With my luck, you’ll propose to me at the cabin.” Ed’s cabin is in Pennsylvania; he’s been going there since he was a child. “It’s literally my favorite place on earth,” he says. “But it’s not yet Kim’s favorite place. She has this thing about indoor plumbing.” 
 
“It was a done deal,” he says. “I had to propose to her at the cabin.”
 
Ed planned to propose to Kim the day after Thanksgiving, 2008. Before departing for Pennsylvania, Kim ran errands while Ed surreptitiously packed his pickup truck with the necessary proposal accoutrements: Dom Pérignon, a dozen roses, dark chocolate, the right music, the eight-stone diamond ring he’d co-designed with a friend. In his haste, he hit himself square in the face with a ladder. The accident left a nasty red welt on his forehead, which he managed to conceal with a cap.
 
By the time Kim and Ed arrived in separate vehicles at the cabin hours later, it was freezing cold and snowing. Ed told Kim to sit tight and listen to Christmas carols in her car while he rushed inside to make the cabin cozy and comfortable for her. She was more than happy to oblige, and didn’t notice Ed moving roses and champagne from his truck to the cabin.
Once he hustled her inside, “he plopped me in a chair and began spouting all these beautiful things—‘You’re so beautiful, you mean so much to me,’” says Kim. “My first thought was, ‘What did you do?’ I thought he was apologizing for something. But then I noticed the roses and chocolate.” 
 
Fast forward to the October 17, 2009 wedding at the Clifton Inn. No detail was too small to overlook—from the elegant pink and brown color palette to Kim and Ed’s horse-drawn carriage to cocktails of Champagne poured over hibiscus flowers. 
 
A final elegant touch: Paper “cootie catchers”—the elaborately folded paper fortune telling game from childhood—adorned each table. 
 
One of the questions: “How did Kim win Ed’s heart?” Answer: “She did not win it. He forced it on her.” And neither could be happier. 
 

 

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February 2010: Get Real

One of the most stressful aspects of buying a home? The closing —signing a bunch of documents you may or may not fully understand (are you buying a house or signing away a limb?), forking over a big check, and, perhaps worst of all, discovering your estimated closing costs far exceed what you were originally quoted by the lender.

Closing cost discrepancies occur because what’s written on the Good Faith Estimate (GFE), a tally of lender/broker fees and settlement charges that come with a mortgage loan due at closing, is exactly that—an estimate. It’s a ballpark number, an inadvertent underestimation of fees by the lender. But some unscrupulous lenders have been known to purposely lowball their estimates to lure borrowers away from competitors. And unsuspecting borrowers are hit with an unwelcome surprise at the closing table—sometimes in the thousands of dollars.

But on January 1, the federal government put into effect new rules mandating the use of simplified, redesigned Good Faith Estimate forms in order to curb closing cost surprises.

The new rules require all lenders to use the same standardized three-page form, issued by the Department of Housing and Urban Development, for their Good Faith Estimates. The new forms are designed to facilitate comparison shopping by consumers. The forms contain boxes that allow consumers to compare quotes and estimates of up to four potential lenders at a time. Under the old rules, lenders used their own forms—some more transparent than others—which made it difficult for borrowers to know if they were getting a good deal, or whether all fees were adequately disclosed.

The new rules also mandate that lender fees, such as underwriting charges, can’t change from application to closing. They allow only up to a 10 percent difference for estimates in other areas such as title insurance. If closing costs exceed the estimate, the lender, not the borrower, eats the cost.

Some fees, though, have no cap. These include charges from service providers (for title insurance) chosen by the borrower, but not recommended by the lender—homeowner’s insurance, flood and pest insurance, etc.

Consumer groups have applauded the changes but some lenders say consumers may end up getting hit with costs in other ways since it costs lenders to comply with the new regulations: investing in new software and training employees to use it.

But real estate attorney Richard Carter at Kunka, Milnor, Carter & Inigo in Charlottesville doesn’t see that as a particularly valid concern. “We plan to absorb those costs,” he says. Carter’s firm has only just started using the new forms during closings because they don’t apply to loans made before January 1. “It’s just a matter of getting used to them. They’re very similar to what we had.”

But some lenders are sidestepping the new standardized forms by coming up with “worksheets” or “loan scenarios,” essentially the same potentially misleading Good Faith Estimates as before. Lenders defend the use of such forms by saying HUD is forcing them to provide ironclad estimates that sometimes can’t be accurately predicted early in the process, such as those involving title and settlement services. 

Be that as it may, if you’re looking for full transparency when shopping for a loan, and want to comparison shop, be wary of any lender who resists using the new standardized HUD forms. You may end up paying more at the closing table.

Find a copy of the form on HUD’s website, hud.gov.

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January 2010: Real Estate

In real estate, timing is everything. And no time is that more true than when gearing up for the spring selling season, traditionally the most brisk time for moving homes during the year.  

But a big mistake a lot of buyers and sellers make is actually waiting until springtime to get serious about putting a home on the market—which is already too late, according to Jim Duncan, associate broker at Nest Real Estate Group and blogger at www.realcentralva.com. “The spring market starts right now and ramps up in early February and hits its peak in March around Match Day,” or March 19, the day when fourth year medical students find out which hospital residency program they’re assigned to, a decision which determines where they’ll live. “UVA medical students have traditionally comprised a significant part of the Charlottesville and Albemarle real estate market,” he says. To lose out on those potential buyers and renters could be costly. 
 
Adding to the spring fever are the extended $8,000 tax credit for first-time homebuyers and the $6,500 tax credit for move-up buyers. The $8,000 tax credit has been extended until April 30 for signed contracts and June 30 for closings. The deadline for the $6,500 tax credit is May 1 for signed contracts and July 1 for closings. Move-up buyers are under an even tighter time constraint because they first have to sell or rent their current residence before they can buy a new one—which means they really need to start the process now.
 
Duncan has three rules to live by when readying a home for the spring season. Number one: start talking to a real estate professional in January. This person will help you understand what’s going on in the local market, and advise you on how to position your home to sell. 
 
To find a great agent, someone who’s willing to pound the pavement for you, don’t be afraid to ask tough questions. “Find out how many homes they’ve listed and how many they’ve sold in the last six months,” Duncan recommends. “Ask them what percentage of their listings sell.” 
 
Once you find a great agent, don’t be shy about keeping tabs on them. “One of the biggest impediments to selling a home is not posting enough photos of the property on MLS,” says Duncan. “MLS allows up to 50 pictures—make sure your agent posts close to that even if the property isn’t in the best condition. Buyers look at properties that have the most high-quality photos.”
 
Number two: Detach emotionally. “A lot of people are so tied to their homes they have an inflated sense of its value,” says Duncan. “This mindset can lead to missed opportunities.” For example, you think your beautiful abode is worth $425,000 while your agent gently points out a similar home down the block sold for $350,000. A good agent will help bring expectations in line with reality so you can deal with the actual market, not the ideal one. 
 
Number three: Make your place spotless. “It’s what buyers want and expect,” says Duncan. In a buyers’ market, buyers have the luxury of looking for any reason to cross your property off their list of potentials. So don’t wait to repaint the foyer, recalk the tub, fix the broken tile in the mudroom, tear down the dilapidated outbuilding. A big part of selling a home is getting the buyers to imagine themselves living in your space. So now is the time to stash the wall of family photos, the collection of figurines, any questionable art, for the time being—you don’t want anything to interfere with their ability to imagine themselves sleeping in your space. 
 
If you start the work now, you could be in a new home by May.
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Serendipity do

The love story between Wendy Browning and Randy Lynch is one of two ships passing in the night—only these two ships kept narrowly missing each other for more than 15 years before they finally had their first date in January 2007.

Randy Lynch and Wendy Browning
November 22, 2009
Photo by Sarah Cramer Shields

The first time they missed each other was in 1993, when Randy lived across the street from Wendy’s sister Celeste in Tampa, Florida. They missed each other again in the late ’90s in New York City, where they lived a mere four blocks from each other and frequented the same bars and restaurants. And it was highly coincidental when it was discovered that Randy at one point lived on the same street (though at different times, but still) as the mother of Wendy’s godson in Rye, New York. They had even met each other in passing at a wedding and an engagement party over the years. So it was nothing but serendipity when the couple, both Manhattanites, were eventually set up on a blind date by mutual friends that fateful January.

They met at Pastis, a raucous French bistro in the Meatpacking District. To help him identify her, Wendy told Randy she had long blond hair and would be wearing black pants and a black top—an intriguing though less-than-helpful description since it fits approximately 94 percent of Manhattan women. It took Randy, who is a managing director at Bank of America Merrill Lynch, a moment to pinpoint his date amongst the throng, but he was aided by Wendy’s eye-catching fire engine red coat. Over burgers and frites, the couple laughed and talked, both delighted by the realization this wasn’t to be a blind date from hell—quite the opposite, actually. They ended up going on four more dates in a week, a somewhat rare occurrence in Manhattan’s cynical dating world, where it’s not uncommon for budding couples to go weeks without seeing each other.

They dated for the remainder of winter and into spring, but their togetherness was cut short. Wendy, a staffing director at Bloomingdales, was set to leave for Tanzania to work as a volunteer for four months, a trip she had paid for a mere nine days before meeting Randy.

“I had lived in New York City for 10 years, and needed a break,” says the 36-year old. “And then I met Randy. It goes to show you find the person when you least expect it. It was incredibly hard to leave town.”

But Randy, who is now 39, was very supportive, and encouraged Wendy to go and have an adventure. While Wendy went to work in an orphanage nearly 8,000 miles away, Randy kept in touch by sending long e-mails and care packages containing goodies like chocolate-frosted donuts. He even traveled to Tanzania near the end of her trip and the couple went on safari.

“The only thing I saw was Randy’s face covered by a camera lens,” she jokes.

They ended the trip back in the village where Randy had the opportunity to meet the children at the orphanage.

When they returned to New York in the late summer of 2007, they dated for six more months before Randy proposed to Wendy on a brisk day in March on the beach in Bridgehampton, New York.

“It was the tail end of winter so we had the entire beach to ourselves,” says Randy.

But Wendy was so caught up in the moment she forgot to say the word “yes.” Randy had to ask if her gasps could be interpreted as an affirmative. They could.

The couple decided to get married in Charlottesville, the home of Wendy’s alma mater. “I have a lot of good memories there,” she says. “My godson lives there. Deep down it’s where I always wanted to get married but I wasn’t sure Randy would agree. But when we visited, he’s the one who initially brought it up, ‘Why don’t we get married here?’ Who was I to argue?”

Wendy and Randy wed on November 22 at St. Paul’s Ivy, attended by 150 friends and family flying in from as far away as Turkey.

The highlight of the wedding was during the reception at Farmington when Wendy, who “loves being the center of attention,” bounded up on stage to sing karaoke. Randy, who is known for hating the limelight, surprised everyone, most of all his bride, by getting up on stage to belt out ’80s hair metal tunes with her.

The newlyweds brought down the house by singing a stirring duet of “Sister Christian” by Night Ranger.

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Crusing together

Jay Gwaldis and Louise Largiadèr are really into motorcycles. The two met in June 2007 on their way to a BMW motorcycle rally at the Biltmore in Asheville, North Carolina. Louise, 46, was on her very first solo ride, accompanied by her brother Anton, a BMW motorcycle technician, and his girlfriend.

Jay Gwaldis and Louise Largiadèr
October 18, 2009
Photo by Stephanie Gross

One night during their trek to Asheville, the threesome checked into a hotel in Mt. Airy, North Carolina where they met up with Jay, who happened to be a friend of Anton’s. The four to them went out for dinner and at one point during the meal, Jay and Louise looked at each other and there was a definite “thing” in the air. “I thought, ‘Hmmm, what was that?” says Louise. “And then promptly forgot all about it.” The next morning, everyone went their separate ways, and Louise saw Jay only briefly at the rally.

After coming home from the trip, Louise kept thinking about that man she met at the hotel in Mt. Airy. She wrote a story about the trip that she planned to e-mail to all of her fellow riders. She asked her brother for Jay’s e-mail address so she could include him in the mailing. When Jay, who had been trying to come up with an excuse to contact Louise on his own, received her e-mail, he took it as a sign that the door was open.

Correspondence ensued, then phone calls, and finally the budding couple met for lunch and a slow courtship began. Jay lost his wife to cancer the previous fall and was cautiously getting back into socializing. Louise was preparing to move and wasn’t looking to date anyone.

On their days off, the new couple went on long motorcycle rides. Jay outfitted Louise’s helmet with an intercom so they could talk to each other and listen to music while cruising tandem on Jay’s big blue bike.

One of their first official dates happened when Louise was house sitting for a friend. Jay came over and made Louise dinner while she painted her toenails. Afterward they watched “Buckaroo Bonzai” while sitting side by side on the couch, nervous as teenagers. “It was really just like high school,” she says. “I thought, ‘Where do I put my arm?’ ‘Is he going to kiss me?’”

Soon after Louise moved in with Jay in the fall of 2007, Jay was diagnosed with oral cancer. He spent that winter undergoing grueling radiation treatments. Then in the fall of 2008, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. At one point, Jay told Louise that now was her chance to back out before things became too serious.
 
“I thought about it for perhaps two seconds before telling him he was stuck with me, no matter the outcome,” she says. “Which turned out to be good—all follow-up checks have been clean!”

Two days before Jay was set to go in for surgery, he and Louise were discussing Anton’s recent engagement to his girlfriend. “I’m really ticked off about Anton,” said Jay. “He stole my thunder.” Whatever do you mean? asked Louise. “They’re getting married before we are,” Jay responded. Louise asked, “Are we getting married?” Jay smiled, “When are you going to ask me?”

Louise looked Jay in the eye and asked him to marry her. Jay said yes.

Louise had never been married, and she really wanted a big church wedding. Jay did not, but he went along with it anyway because that’s what his bride wanted.

However, the day of the wedding, held October 18 at Keswick Hall (where Louise is, coincidentally, employed as a private events captain), Jay had a change of heart (not about his bride, but his resistance to a church wedding). When he stood at the altar, and the church doors opened to reveal Louise standing there next to her father and wearing a dress so big “it practically had it’s own zip code,” she says, Jay got it. “I was so grateful that we ended up having a church wedding because the ritual and solemnity made it so special,” he says.

For gifts, the couple, who love music, asked guests for a couple of their favorite CDs and a note explaining what made the music special. “We received the most amazing array from all over the world,” says Louise. “Every genre, accompanied by stories that make the gifts even more personal.”

“We are so fortunate to have found each other later in life, after loss and through adversity,” says Louise. “We consider ourselves lucky and try to make each day special and not take it for granted. And we highly recommend seeing life on a motorcycle. It’s a great way to experience the beauty of the world around us and live in the moment.”