Categories
Living

Reading into it

At the risk of sounding like a whiny, pretentious brat, I’m going to go ahead and say that—English major that I used to be (still am?)—I miss some of that high-falutin’ book talk I used to get in college. Gone are the days of debating Hardy over the cafeteria table, replaced with albeit more timely subjects, such as Lohan’s latest relapse, debated over the cubicle partition. It’s gotten to the point where I probably read the same amount as I did in college in terms of word count, except that now it’s all on the Internet and it’s all poisoned with unhealthy doses of snark. And I’m fighting mad at myself about this sad fact. “How did it come to this?” I ask myself while scrolling through Perez Hilton’s celebrity gossip rag. It’s then that I very deliberately dial my browser over to someplace like Mark Sarvas’ blog, The Elegant Variation, in search of signs of intelligence in the universe.

The Elegant Variation is a literary blog and Sarvas is quite a literary-type guy (meaning he writes stuff and all his friends write stuff and when they get together they are all very cool and smart and literary together, I’m sure). His first novel comes out next winter. The blog is heavy on the contemporary fiction talk, part lit-world gossip and chatter, part book reviews, part intelligent idle musings, part pretentious idle musings and, for the most part, eminently readable. Sure, the guy can be a prick occasionally, but that’s what keeps life exciting. And while I hate him sometimes, I also love that he gets me thinking about useless things that still matter to me in my better moments of self-awareness.

Personally, my favorite Elegant Variation activity is to stock up on my feelings of inadequacy by making sure that I take notes on the books he recommends that I will probably never get around to reading. I have a sneaking suspicion that these are mostly books by Sarvas’ friends. But that’s O.K., since he seems to have friends that I want.

Categories
Living

Sick days

In the past two years, my aunt has had first breast cancer and then cancer of the stomach lining. No one said so, but I’m pretty sure everyone thought she was a goner—including herself—especially that second time the diagnosis came up positive. But she was incredibly lucky: The doctors performed a procedure in which they took out all her stomach organs, bathed them in chemo and then put her organs back in her body. Somehow it worked and she’s back to competing in 100-mile endurance horseback rides and trying to keep my grandmother happy-ish.

During the period when Aunt Susie was going through chemo and operations and diagnosis and, I’m sure, unspeakable anxiety and fear, she and her husband were so conscientious about updating us all (her family) on any and all news: how she was doing, what the doctors were saying, whether she had been able to make it out of bed to the barn to see her horses. I never knew how to respond to those e-mails. I mean, of course I responded, but I didn’t know what to say. I would overthink each response, trying to make sure I included the right ratio of jokes to sympathetic inquiries and small talk about my own small life.

After listening to his monthly NPR commentary on his battle with colon cancer for a year now—and getting teary with each update—I finally made my way to Leroy Sievers’ blog, My Cancer. My first thought on reading it through was, “I hope Aunt Susie reads this thing.” It’s not just Sievers’ own diary of thoughts and struggles and triumphs that I found so honest and human, it’s the community of commenters that his thoughts and struggles and triumphs have fostered. With any given post there are countless comments from cancer patients from all over the world and the people who love them; it’s a universe unto itself. Everything from the pain of chemo to what it means to be in remission is dissected in detail as lives you’ll never know come to life on the computer screen.

Poring over these intensely personal confessions, I think that reading the words of strangers—removed from my own experiences with the disease—allow me to better understand what my aunt needed at the time of her operation and what she needs now. The people here talk about these needs and wants, and—perhaps not surprisingly given that only those who’ve had cancer can really understand it—what they need and want is much the same for each person: the right word, the right gesture, another day, a few more years. I hope my aunt gets all these things and more. I hope she has a community to understand her. 

Categories
Living

Stranger with candy

The typical definition of “blog”—simply put, some random person’s online journal of wandering and, more often than not, useless thoughts—usually holds little to no interest for me. I’m in the business of “me” (aren’t we all when it comes right down to it?) and so I have no time for other people’s hopes, dreams, friends, enemies or house plants; I prefer the delights of celebrity gossip rags and fashion-related minutiae to the detailings of ordinariness any day. That said, when I come across one of these typical “blogs” that I do enjoy reading, it’s worth mentioning. (The last time I wrote about one of these blogs, I believe my selection was Mayor David Brown’s thrilling missives about brushing his teeth and eating turkey sandwiches at Bodo’s.) So allow me to mention HappyScrappy, the blog of Boston-based writer and editor Jason Feifer.

Perhaps it’s because I relate to these people, or perhaps it’s because people who make their living as writers can sometimes actually write, but I doubt it’s a coincidence that the personal blogs that I usually enjoy are the extracurricular activities of professional writers or journalists or dorks. This Jason Feifer is clearly no exception to this rule. I don’t mean this in a bad way; I, myself, earned the name “Nellanerd” as a child.

Like the best blogs, his tone is chatty without being overly chatty; there are personal details without divulging the unwanted; he lets you get to know his person without forcing too much of his person on you too quickly. For instance, according to the most current posts, Feifer is on a Craigslist kick (having had two posts on the subject in the past week) and he thinks “goths” are funny. This is intriguing to me for two reasons: 1) I agree about goths: hilarious. And 2) I, too, have been logging more hours on Craigslist than I have at my real job recently. So. I know that this blogger and I have more than just journalism and dorkdom in common, and this keeps me reading.

Distance, methinks, is the best policy when it comes to these personal-type blogs. That way, the writer can be revealed to you over time—not unlike in the real world —should you choose to commit yourself to that relationship.

Categories
Living

Shelter Sites You Don't Want To Miss

Back to basics
www.realsimple.com

Unless you haven’t ventured anywhere near a grocery store in the past five years you are probably familiar with the proud housewife’s almanac: Real Simple, the magazine that takes life and makes it easier…or at least more manageable. It’s a relative phenomenon that has expanded from the traditional magazine format into television, a product line, and even e-cards. All this and more can be found at the Real Simple website that is, well, real simple to navigate. Hosting a dinner party? The recipes the site offers up will tempt you to break your diet pronto. Don’t understand your teenage daughter? This site even offers suggestions in the mother-daughter-who-are-you department. Our favorite, though, is the “Organizing” section: endless product suggestions to help you make sense of space.

Soak it up
http://designsponge.blogspot.com

A virtual bible for design freaks, Design Sponge is the baby of freelance writer and girl with a golden eye, Grace Bonney. With plenty of pictures and links to the best of the best undiscovered designers, the thing about Bonney’s taste is that it is just so…so…good. She has an eye for objects and designs that are pretty and girly, but that still manage to walk on the right side of sophisticated. It’s shabby chic without that extra ruffle. The posts range from Bonney’s latest stationary discoveries to photos of a Mies van der Rohe house sent in by a reader in Detroit who just bought the house for a steal. But no matter what the topic of the moment may be, you always feel like you are reading the words of a friend; Bonney’s writing style is chatty and she, herself, is relentlessly excited about what it is that has most recently passed through her discerning field of vision. Design is fun, ya’ll! Not pretentious!

Hands on
www.jacksbackyard.com

One of the many best things about TLC’s show “Little People, Big World” are the amazing jungle gyms and tree houses that Father of the Year Matt Roloff has built for his kids. You, too, can pretend you are half as amazing as Matt Roloff with a little help from some dude named Jack. See, on his website, Jack’s Backyard, Jack makes it easy for you to build your kids a wicked fort with his DIY kits. Jack provides all the materials and directions needed to construct a fort or swing set; all you need is a little manpower and some free time. Plus, once the backyard has been transformed into the ultimate playground, do yourself a favor: try your hand at one of Jack’s DIY porch swings, then sit back, and pop a well-earned cold one. The prices are reasonable and patronizing this Jack character is a guilt-free undertaking since most of his wares are constructed from reclaimed wood.

Step by step
www.cookingforengineers.com

Kind of like math whizzes who make dividing up a bar bill an easy experience, Cooking for Engineers takes that soufflé recipe that looks impossible and somehow makes it seem doable. With pictures that document the cooking process from start to finish, and directions that patiently talk you through your fears of mismeasuring and undersifting, this blog is the dorked-out cooking tutor the culinarily challenged have always needed. Winner of the Bloggie (ie. the Oscar of the blogosphere) Award for Best Food Blog in 2005, the foodie behind this site also takes reader feedback to heart. There are extensive discussions among readers and author after each recipe deconstructing the merits and dangers and ambiguities and rewards of each recipe, from garlic bread to poached fish. It’s a world that might be foreign to most, but it offers a true window into the lives of cooking nerds that is sure to give anyone a newfound appreciation for the art of the ingredient.

Categories
Living

Getting out of Dodge

As I write this, Memorial Day weekend is upon us. I have Monday off and I fully intend to “call in sick” on Friday. Four days of freedom meant it was imperative that I get the hell out of here; I haven’t left town since Christmas, everything in Aspen is closed for the off-season (including the airport), flights out of Vail are prohibitively expensive and my best friend has been IMing me from her fabulous vacation/work trip in Ireland and Portugal so I was just about going crazy with claustrophobia. Plus, we’re really not within driving distance of anywhere remotely interesting (Denver= totally meh) save Moab, which was booked solid by the time I got around to investigating. I know you’re sitting on the edges of your seats at Mudhouse waiting for the end of my tale of woe, but suffice it to say that I have indeed finally found someplace to take myself (although it wasn’t without a good dose of self-absorbed frustration).

While tearing my hair out and screaming at these mountains that create my prison walls, I decided to exacerbate my condition by doing a little research into the fun vacations that total strangers were taking without me. And so I found MyTripJournal.com, which is a site where people can blog about how they are seeing the world while I can’t even seem to get out of Colorado. Ostensibly these blogs are intended for the friends and family of the vacationers, and not losers—like myself—intent on making themselves feel more trapped than they already are. However, the beauty of a little travel voyeurism is that it elevates frustration such as mine to near orgasmic levels. Arrrrrghhhh!!!!! I want to go to Italy! I want to go to Rio! I want to go to Vietnam! Hell, I’ll go to East Timor!!!!!

What’s better is that the site’s administrators have weeded through the blogs and posted a section of the ones they think are the best. Sure, the writing still sucks for the most part (that’s not rude! Most people can’t write! It’s a fact!), but the trips are top notch. It runs the gamut from old people with Winnebagos driving around the U.S. of A. for two years to recent college grads backpacking around Europe for four months to middle-aged professionals just taking some time off to see the things they’ve never seen. No matter who they are or where they are, it all sounds good to me.

Categories
Living

Listen close

One of the easiest things to do in Charlottesville is get on with your bougie self. It’s the old latte, stroll the Mall, linger over lunch, get another latte, drink some bottled water, go to yoga routine that this town is so adept at fostering. And I’m certainly not knocking it: Lattes and long lunches are two of my favorite things in the world; I’ll even admit to a newfound affinity for yoga. While I may be the personification of the cliché that Charlottesville is a haven for rich liberals, this recognition has instilled in me (for better or worse) a good dose of self-loathing. In my more problem-solving moments of self-loathing, I make ambitious resolutions to “do the right thing” (whatever that is), and adopt more puppies and—I’m not joking here—learn more about, and become more sensitive to, how Charlottesville’s proverbial other half lives.

One such recent wave of disgust led me to a new local website—but two months young—called Voices of Poverty, a project of the Leadership Charlottesville participants. The name is self-explanatory: It’s a website that streams podcasts of interviews with both those that live at or below the Federal Poverty Level, as well as those that work with our local poor to help them get everything from roofs over their heads to basic health care. Each interview illuminates a different aspect of the predicament and each interview is worth listening to.

I am one of those people who has always reacted very strongly to voices—the actual, disembodied sound of someone talking. It’s an obvious statement, but when you listen you can hear so much, and that is especially true with the podcasts on this site. Listening to Hakim tell in his deliberate, slightly heavy way of spending his days walking around just trying to pass the time, or to the matter-of-fact yet hopeful voice of a Mexican immigrant talk about her struggles to make ends meet during her eight years in the States, opens not just my ears, but my mind and my heart as well. I think…
I hope.

Yet what effects me most about this website is that it is a small, yet significant effort to bring people together. Ah, togetherness. Building bridges. Those ideas always get me a little verklempt.

Categories
Living

Book smart

In case you hadn’t already guessed, dear readers, I was a huge nerd back in the day as I shuffled through the Charlottesville City Public Schools. I blame my parents in part for this distinction—they who did not let me watch TV (except for PBS, natch), scoffed at cartoons and made me read books that had nothing to do with Sweet Valley High over summer
vacations. Like all teens with a coolness complex, I would make the occasional pathetic attempt to thumb my nose at authority. Inevitably this involved reading CliffsNotes on one or two occasions.

These days I’m all grown up with no school marms holding my hand through the classics. (Clearly, I have more important things to do…like purchasing a different kind of classic off iTunes: “Rollin’ down the street smokin’ endo, sippin’ on gin and juice…”) Plus, looking back on it, CliffsNotes are, like, so passé. That’s where Book-a-Minute Classics comes in. You know those Shakespeare-in-a-minute plays where Hamlet and Ophelia live, go crazy, yadda yadda yadda, and then die in the course of a minute? Well, this site is the same thing, only for all those books you are supposed to read over the course of your life but probably skimmed in school and won’t get around to on your own. For detail whores, English literature majors and those who still have faith in good writing, these summaries are not. However, for basic plot summary you can’t get much better.

For example, Jane Eyre, which Book-a-Minute summarizes thusly as a one-scene, one-act play: (People are MEAN to Jane Eyre.) Edward Rochester: I have a dark secret. Will you stay with me no matter what? Jane Eyre: Yes. Edward Rochester: My secret is that I have a lunatic wife. Jane Eyre: Bye. (Jane Eyre leaves. Somebody dies. Jane Eyre returns.) Being a huge nerd who read Jane Eyre for fun maybe six times over the course of my seventh grade year, I can attest to the fact that these nine sentences just about sum things up. Apparently, I have wasted a lot of time in my life.

Categories
Living

Getting all handsy

If there’s one word I hate in the English language (besides “moist” and “cellulite” and “pasty” and “luxe” and all the other obvious choices) then it’s the word “craft.” A small word with none of that discernable sexual innuendo that would usually qualify a word for a mild case of the “ews,” it calls to mind kindly, overweight older women in smocks (another word I’m not crazy about) and macaroni necklaces. It’s a word that is so innocuous and yet so…so…hapless and heavy on the tongue. And yet, Mother’s Day is approaching. (I don’t know if that transition was a non sequitor or not. Nevertheless.) So in the hopes of being timely, I thought a column about potential mother-friendly gifts was in order.

“Crafty” is precisely the word I would use to describe Etsy, the self-described “place to buy and sell all things handmade.” Beads are popular here, and I’m sure that all those who sell their goods on this site definitely have at least a few decent pairs of kitchen scissors. I say that and yet—seasoned shopper with discerning tastes that I am—I am impressed with both the quality of the goods, the quantity and the prices. Take, for example, the fact that I need a new bag (because when you’re shopping for mother, you’re going to inevitably end up doing just a leeeeetttle shopping for yourself too, no?). I am a girl who has only one purse, a travesty, I think, and so I checked out my choices on Etsy. Almost immediately I found a beautiful olive green leather bag for $45. Remember: This stuff is handmade, ya’ll. Anthropologie would charge $345. Easy. 

But back to the present task. I felt weird looking in the “kitchen” section because it’s Mother’s Day and I didn’t want to play into gender roles. So, I searched “art,” which seemed nice and gender neutral to me. Some of the art on Etsy can make you feel like you’ve just stumbled across the deal of the century. I found two original prints for Mom for $12 each. However, I can’t say what exact Etsy vendor I purchased from because, you know: presents, surprises, wrapping paper, and all that jazz. Now when exactly is Mother’s Day, anyway?

Categories
Living

Book club

I like it when people do my dirty work for me. Like the dishes, my taxes, or buying gas. I don’t know if this constitutes dirty work (because it hardly needs to be done at all), but some journalist in Philly has taken it upon himself to read the entire Left Behind series so that I (and you) don’t have to. In between more traditional posts on his blog, Slaktivist, this guy indulges in lengthy (and often amusing) criticisms—both theological and literary—of this important piece of American literature. Left Behind, for those of you who aren’t up on the literature that sells in this country, is that famously bad fiction series about, uh, Christian stuff. Like the second coming, the rapture, and the imaginary Pan-Continental Airlines.

The Left Behind critiques proceed three pages at a time through the series. The tirade began on October 17, 2003, with a post entitled “Left Behind is Evil.” The following day, a second post appeared, entitled “Left Behind: Pretrib Porno, Pages 1-3.” His first comment on the book regards the protagonist’s name: Rayford Steele. “It sounds like a porn star’s name—and in a sense it is,” he wrote. And thus began Slaktivist’s own personal holy war against Left Behind—three pages at a time.

The best part of this website, however, is that this guy is a Christian. Living, breathing and believing. Plus, he is a writer (and a good one as a matter of fact). This means that the fun he is making, the righteous rage he is feeling, is not gratuitous liberal yabber. While he may be joking, he is also earnest and, in his own way, defending his faith from idiocy, and his profession from stupidity. A good deal of the criticism is legitimately theological (taught me a thing or two, in fact), but the funnest parts are when he’s simply making fun of shoddy writing. Or maybe I just like those parts because I’m going to hell.

Categories
News

After the Cook shooting, now what?

On August 21, 2004, a resident of Friendship Court called the police for assistance in a domestic dispute. When the officers arrived on the scene, the suspect, Kerry Cook, though unarmed, resisted arrest. The subsequent scuffle ended when one of the cops shot Cook, a 31-year-old African-American man, once in the stomach—resulting in a coma that left Cook hospitalized for three weeks.

Questions, suspicions and accusations of excessive force ensued and, as a result, last October the City Attorney’s office organized a grand jury to investigate. Over the next five months, the jury met 19 times, taking sworn testimony from 38 people about the incident.

In the end, when the grand jury released their report on March 7, they ruled the police officers who responded to the call had not, in fact, used excessive force. However, the jury went beyond a simple ruling. They also assessed police department relations with the African-American community. They said, in short, that those relations need attention and improvement, and need it stat.

The relationship between Charlottesville’s African-American community and city police has always been tenuous—the result of a long history of missteps, misunderstandings and Southern race relations. With the arrival of Police Chief Timothy Longo in early 2001, hopes for an improved situation ran high, and still do.

“Our current police chief is very different from people that have held the job in the past [in a good way],” says City Councilor Kendra Hamilton, “We’re very lucky to have what we have now.”

However, longstanding suspicions were ignited anew after the 2003 DNA dragnet (in which, as a means of catching the ever-elusive serial rapist, African-American males were asked to submit to cheek swabbings for DNA samples). The Cook shooting only made it worse.

In their report, the grand jury set forth six recommendations for ways the police department could repair relations with
the black community. Recommendations included more police training on community relations; a request that the Thomas Jefferson Area Community Criminal Justice Board (CCJB) adopt race relations as a priority for research and action; increased hiring and promotion of African-American officers, continuing support for calls concerning domestic violence; enhancing the police department’s computer system; and expanding the community policing concept.

Suggestions are all well and good, notes Hamilton, but at this point they’re just words on paper. The question now is whether something’s going to get done.

One African-American woman, a former 14-year resident of Friendship Court who requested anonymity, has no hope of improved relations between the black community and the police department.

“It’s only going to get worse,” she says. “The more the police push, the more the drug dealers push back.”

As she says this, she’s sitting with a friend enjoying the afternoon sun on a stoop a couple doors down from where the Cook shooting occurred.

The two women name particular complaints, specifically frustration at what they see as police officers patrolling the community with a preconceived notion that all the residents there are suspicious. A third resident, Michelle Burnley, joins the two women. She offers that trying to talk to the police “is like talking to the air.”

Pessimism and frustration like this are understandable and hard to debate, but Karen Waters, executive director of Quality Community Council, an advocacy and networking organization targeted at the city’s poorest neighborhoods, is optimistic.

Pointing to the closeness of Friendship Court’s community as an asset, “it’s up to [the Friendship Court community] to come up with their own ideas and it’s up to us to listen and to act,” Waters says.

Everyone seems to agree that the issue is communication. It’s no coincidence then that such is precisely what the grand jury’s recommendations address. Chief Longo, in fact, says that the police department has already acted on two of the grand jury’s recommendations and has plans to further implement others in the future.

According to Longo, the entire department just finished its first weeklong training session with officers from the Virginia Community Policing Institute. In addition, since the grand jury report, the department tweaked and improved its computer system to make it easier to identify potentially problematic behavior among officers.

With help from Waters, and other community leaders, Longo is also planning a series of meetings with the residents of Friendship Court to discuss what the problems are and how to solve them.

Citing the way talking things through and being open to criticism helped the police department weather the DNA dragnet storm, Longo says, “One of the ways you [create trust] is to open doors and windows to communication and operate in a very transparent way.

“It’s going to take a lot of time, a lot of work, and I’m committed to do that because relationships are the essence of life.”