Author: Rob Brezsny

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): In 2013, I pledge to conspire with you to achieve more mixtures, connections, accords, and unifications than you ever thought possible. I will furthermore be a fount of suggestions about how you can live well in two worlds. I will coach you to create a peace treaty with your evil twin and your nemesis, and I will help you develop a knack for steering clear of other people’s bad ideas and sour moods. I can’t of course guarantee that you will never again experience a broken heart, but I swear I will do everything I can do to heal the broken part of your heart that you’ve been suffering from.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): When he was 21, the Capricorn writer Jack London set off to prospect for gold in the 1897 Klondike Gold Rush. He had a rough time there. Malnourished, he suffered from scurvy and leg pain. To make matters worse, he didn’t find much gold, and returned home broke. On the other hand, he met scores of adventure seekers who told him stories of their travels. These tales served as rich raw material for his novel The Call of the Wild, published in 1903. It made him famous and is generally regarded as his masterpiece. I’m guessing you will begin a similar trajectory in 2013, Capricorn. Events that may at first seem less than successful will ultimately breed a big breakthrough.

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): I can’t force you to seek more pleasure in 2013. I won’t nag you to play harder and explore the frontiers of feeling really good. However, I will say this: If you don’t plan to put yourself into at least partial alignment with the cosmic mandate to have maximum fun, you may not get the best use out of the advice I’ll be offering through my horoscopes in the coming year. Please consider the possibility of ramping up your capacity for pure enjoyment.

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): The study of ancient Mayan civilization owes a lot to the fact that Americans started buying lots of chewing gum in the late 19th century. Huh? Here’s the connection: For a long time, chicle was one of the prime ingredients in Chiclets, Juicy Fruit, Bazooka bubble gum, and many other brands of chewing gum. Chicle is obtained from the sap of sapodilla trees, which grow in abundance in Central America and Mexico. Over the decades, workers harvesting the chicle accidentally found many Mayan ruins covered in overgrown vegetation, then told archaeologists about their discoveries. I foresee a metaphorically comparable sequence happening in your life during 2013. In unexpected ways, you will be put back in touch with and benefit from lost, forgotten, or unexplored parts of the past.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): Isaac Newton is regarded as one of the most influential scientists in history. But the time he spent as a member of the English Parliament was undistinguished. The only public comment he ever made while serving there was a request to close the window because he was cold. Basketball star Michael Jordan had a similar schism. In the prime of his outstanding career, he took a year off to try playing baseball, which he did poorly. After analyzing 2013’s astrological aspects, Aries, I’m guessing that you should cultivate a firm intention to avoid doing what Newton and Jordan did. Keep playing to your strengths and emphasizing what you love. Don’t get sidetracked by peripheral concerns.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): In 2013, I’d like to help you cultivate an even more reliable relationship with your intuitions and hunches than you already have. You may not need much guidance from me, since the astrological omens indicate this will happen quite naturally. There’s another kind of inspiration I hope to offer you in the coming months: clues about how to be “bad” in ways that will give your goodness more vigor. And when I say “bad,” I’m not referring to nastiness or insensitivity, but rather to wildness and playfulness and experimentation. Here’s one further service I want to provide, Taurus: helping you build a greater capacity to receive gifts, blessings, and support.

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): In the year 1900, few people believed that human beings would ever fly through the sky in machines. Most scientists thought that such a feat was impossible. For years, the Wright Brothers had a hard time convincing anyone to believe their flights were actually taking place, even though they had photos and witness reports as documentation. Although the leap you’ll be capable of in 2013 isn’t quite as monumental as the Wright Brothers’, it could be pretty important in the history of your own life. You may also have to deal with skepticism akin to what they had to face. Be true to your vision, Gemini!

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): In 2013, I predict you will see why it’s wise to phase out an influence you have loved to hate for far too long. Uncoincidentally, you will also have a talent for purging emotional burdens and psychic debris that you’ve been holding on to since the bad old days. No later than your birthday, if all goes well, you will be free from a subtle curse you’ve been casting on yourself; you will finally be attending to one of your long-neglected needs; and you will have turned some rather gawky, half-assed wizardry into a smooth and silky magic.

Leo
(July 23-August 22): In 2013, I pledge to help you raise your lovability. It’s not that you are unlovable now, of course, but there’s always room for improvement, right? And if people become even more attracted to you than they already are, then you’re likely to get a lot of collaborative and cooperative work done. You will thrive as you and your allies work on projects that make your corner of the world a better and more interesting place. So what are the first three actions you could take to raise your lovability?

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): First question: Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’m afraid I will never achieve my noblest dreams or live according to my highest ideas”? Answer: There’s a very good chance that in the coming year you will banish that fear from the sacred temple of your imagination. Second question: Have you ever wondered if maybe you unconsciously undermine the efforts of people who are trying to assist you? Answer: In the coming months you should discover exactly what to do to prevent such a thing from happening. Third question: Do you know the single most important question you should be asking in 2013? Answer: I predict you will figure that out sometime in the next three weeks.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): In 2013, I will be encouraging you to journey into the frontiers and experiment with the unknown. I will seek to inspire you to go in search of teachings you’ve needed for a long time. Are you ready for this expansion, Libra? Are you feeling a natural urge to explore forbidden zones and discover missing secrets and mess with your outmoded taboos? As you might imagine, doing this work would motivate you to develop a healthier relationship with your fears. To bolster your courage, I suggest you find some new freedom songs to sing.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): In 2013, I will do what I can to ensure that your fiscal biorhythms are in close alignment with the universal cash flow. You should have pretty good instincts about this worthy project yourself, Scorpio. And so there’s an excellent chance that your wealth will increase. The upgrade will be especially dramatic if you are constantly scheming about how you can share your riches and benefit other people with your generosity. I think there will also be an interesting fringe benefit if you maintain maximum integrity as you enhance your access to valuable resources: You will develop a more useful relationship with your obsessive tendencies.

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): For the last six decades of his life, Pablo Picasso created art that was adventurous and experimental. He didn’t invent abstract painting, but he was instrumental in popularizing it. And yet in his early years he was a master of realism, and had an impressive ability to capture the nuances of human anatomy. Commenting on Picasso’s evolution, travel writer Rick Steves says that when he was young, “he learned the rules he would later so skillfully break.” I suspect you’re in a phase of your own development when you could profit from doing the same thing. So I ask you, Sagittarius: What are the rules that are so ripe for you to bend and twist as you graduate to a more mature level of self-expression?

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): Through some cosmic intervention, a sad or bad or mad story will get tweaked prior to the final turn of the plot. Just as you’re getting ready to nurse your regrets, an X-factor or wild card will appear, transforming the meaning of a series of puzzling events. This may not generate a perfectly happy ending, but it will at least result in an interesting and redemptive climax. What is the precise nature of that X-factor or wild card? Perhaps a big secret will be revealed or some missing evidence will arrive or a mental block will crumble. And it’s likely that you will have an epiphany abut how valuable your problem has actually been.

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): Be honest. Have you had any of the following symptoms? 1. Lack of interest in trivial matters and a yearning for big, holy mysteries. 2. Unfamiliar but interesting impulses rising up in you and demanding consideration. 3. Fresh insights into people and situations you’ve known a long time. 4. An altered sense of the flow of time. 5. Out-of-the-blue recall of long-forgotten memories. If you haven’t experienced any of the above, Aquarius, I must be totally off in my analysis and this horoscope isn’t for you. But if you’ve had even two of these symptoms, you are on schedule to get what those of us in the consciousness industry call a “religious experience.”

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): You just might be able to teach a statue to talk this week—or at least coax a useful message out of a stone-like person. You could also probably extract a delicious clue from out of the darkness or wrangle a tricky blessing from an adversary or find a small treasure hidden in a big mess. In short, Pisces, you now have a knack for accessing beauty and truth in unexpected sources. You can see what everyone else is blind to and love what everyone else has given up on. You’re practically a superhero. Use your powers wisely, my friend. Be benevolently unpredictable.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): Can you manage to be both highly alert and deeply relaxed? Could you be wildly curious and yet also serenely reflective? Can you imagine yourself being extra hungry to crack life’s secrets but also at peace with your destiny exactly the way it is? If you can honestly answer yes to those questions, you’ll get a lot of help in the coming week. The universe may even seem to be conspiring to educate you and heal you. You will receive a steady flow of clues about how to get closer to living your dreams.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): In the coming week, you would be wise to deal with your vulnerability, your fallibility, and your own personal share of the world’s darkness. If you refuse to do that, either out of laziness or fear, I’m worried that you will reinforce a status quo that needs to be overthrown. You may end up rationalizing your mistakes, clinging to false pride, and running away from challenges that could make you smarter and stronger. Don’t do that, Taurus! Be brave. Be willing to see what’s difficult to see. There will be big rewards if you choose to explore the weaker and less mature parts of your personality.

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): In the 1968 Olympics, Bob Beamon broke the world record for the long jump. His leap was so far beyond the previous mark that the optical device designed to calculate it didn’t work. Officials had to resort to an old-fashioned measuring tape. After that, the word “Beamonesque” came to signify a feat that vastly outstripped all previous efforts. According to my analysis, you Geminis will have an excellent chance to be Beamonesque in 2013. I expect that you will at least surpass your own peak levels of accomplishment. If you have not yet launched your ascent, get started now.

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): The fire ants that invaded the southern U.S. back in the 1930s are an annoyance. They swarm and bite and sting. The venom they inject makes their victims feel like they’ve been burned. Two communities have decided to make the best of the situation. Auburn, Georgia and Marshall, Texas both stage annual Fire Ant Festivals, with events like the Fire Ant Call, the Fire Ant Round-Up, and the Fire Ant Chili Cook-Off. (To win the latter, your dish must contain at least one fire ant.) Maybe their example could inspire you, Cancerian. Is there any pest you could develop a more playful and festive relationship with? Could you possibly turn into the equivalent of a Fire Ant Whisperer?

Leo
(July 23-August 22): While reading William Kittredge’s book The Nature of Generosity, I learned about the oldest known sentence written in ancient Greek. It was inscribed on a wine jug that dates back to 740 B.C. Translated into English, it says, “Who now of all dancers sports most playfully?” Another possible translation is “Which of these dancers plays most delicately?” I’d love to make something like that be your mantra in the coming week, Leo. The time is right for you to do more dancing and playing and sporting than usual—and to seek out companions who’d like to help you achieve record-breaking levels of those recreational activities.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray plays a man who gets trapped in a timeloop. Over and over again, he experiences the same 24 hours. When he wakes up each morning, it’s still February 2. At first it drives him crazy, pushing him to the verge of suicide. But eventually he decides to use his time wisely. He becomes a skilled pianist and a fluent French-speaker. He does good deeds and saves people’s lives. He even learns what he needs to do to win the heart of the woman he desires. This transformation turns out to be the key to gaining his freedom. Near the end of the film, he escapes to February 3. A comparable opportunity is looming for you, Virgo. You have a chance to break a spell you’ve been under or slip away from a rut you’ve been in. Generosity may play a major role.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): Events in the immediate future may have resemblances to reading a boring book that’s packed with highly useful information. You might feel that there’s a disjunction between the critical clues you need to gather and the ho-hum style in which they are offered. It’s OK to be a bit disgruntled by this problem as long as you promise to remain alert for the partially disguised goodies. Don’t fall asleep in the middle of the unspectacular lesson.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): “Instinct tells us that sharks are more deadly than delicious fatty foods,” writes Jason Daley in Discover magazine. But “instinct is wrong,” he adds. In fact, eating food that tastes good but is actually bad for us is a far greater threat than shark bites. That’s just one example of how our uneducated urges can sometimes lead us astray. I invite you to keep this possibility in mind during the coming week, Scorpio. It’s by no means certain that you will be misled by your natural inclinations, but it is crucial that you monitor them with acute discernment.

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): If you thoroughly shuffle a deck of cards, the novel arrangement you create is probably unique in all of human history; its specific order has never before occurred. I suspect the same principle applies to our lives: Each new day brings a singular set of circumstances that neither you nor anyone else in the last 10,000 years has ever had the pleasure of being challenged and intrigued by. There is always some fresh opportunity, however small, that is being offered to you for the first time. I think it’s important for you to keep this perspective in mind during the coming week. Be alert for what you have never seen or experienced before.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): I wish I could do more than just fantasize about helping you achieve greater freedom. In my dreams, I am obliterating delusions that keep you moored to false idols. I am setting fire to the unnecessary burdens you lug around. And I am tearing you away from the galling compromises you made once upon a time in order to please people who don’t deserve to have so much power over you. But it’s actually a good thing I can’t just wave a magic wand to make all this happen. Here’s a much better solution: You will clarify your analysis of the binds you’re in, supercharge your willpower, and liberate yourself.

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): In his book Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, Tom Robbins talks about a gourmet who “gave up everything, traveled thousands of miles and spent his last dime to get to the highest lamasery in the Himalayas to taste the dish he’d longed for his whole life, Tibetan peach pie. When he got there, the lamas said they were all out of peach. ‘O.K.,’ said the gourmet, ‘make it apple.’” I suspect you’ll be having a comparable experience sometime soon, Aquarius. You may not get the exact treat you wanted, but what you’ll receive in its place is something that’s pretty damn good. I urge you to accept the gift as is!

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): “Having ‘a sense of self’ means possessing a set of stories about who we are,” according to William Kittredge in his book The Nature of Generosity. He says there are two basic types of stories: The first is “cautionary tales, which warn us” and therefore protect us. The second consists of “celebratory” tales, which we use to heal and calm ourselves. I believe that you Pisceans are now in a phase when you primarily need celebratory stories. It’s time to define yourself with accounts of what you love and value and regard as precious.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): Spencer Silver was a co-inventor of Post-it notes, those small, colorful pieces of paper you can temporarily attach to things and then remove to use again and again. Speaking about the process he went through to develop this simple marvel, he said, “If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this.” I’d like to make him your patron saint for the next few weeks, Aries. Like him, you now have the chance to make practical breakthroughs that may have seemed impossible, or at least unlikely. Ignore conventional wisdom—including your own. Trust your mischievous intuition.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): The axolotl is a kind of salamander that has an extraordinary capacity for regenerating itself. If it loses a leg in an accident, it will grow a new one in its place. It can even fix its damaged organs, including eyes, heart, and brain. And get this: There’s never any scar tissue left behind when its work is done. Its power to heal itself is pretty much perfect. I nominate the axolotl to be your power animal in the coming weeks, Taurus. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you now have an extraordinary ability to restore any part of your soul that got hurt or stolen or lost.

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): In the coming months, I hope that you will get sweet revenge. In fact, I predict that you will get sweet revenge. Keep in mind that I’m not talking about angry, roaring vindication. I don’t mean you will destroy the reputations of your adversaries or reduce them to humiliating poverty or laugh at them as they grovel for mercy while lying in a muddy gutter. No, Gemini. The kind of revenge I foresee is that you will achieve a ringing triumph by mastering a challenge they all believed would defeat you. And your ascent to victory starts now.

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): I would love to speak with you about your hesitancy to fully confront your difficulties. But I will not speak forthrightly, since I’m pretty sure that would irritate you. It might even motivate you to procrastinate even further. So instead I will make a lame joke about how if you don’t stop avoiding the obvious, you will probably get bitten in the butt by a spider. I will try to subtly guilt-trip you into taking action by implying that I’ll be annoyed at you if you don’t. I will wax sarcastic and suggest that maybe just this once, ignorance is bliss. Hopefully that will nudge you into dealing straightforwardly with the unrest that’s burbling.

Leo
(July 23-August 22): “Drama is life with all the boring parts cut out of it,” said Leo filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock. By that criterion, I’m guessing that your experience in the coming week will have a high concentration of magic and stimulation. You should be free from having to slog through stale details and prosaic storylines. Your word of power will be succulence. For best results, I suggest you take active control of the unfolding adventures. Be the director and lead actor in your drama, not a passive participant who merely reacts to what the other actors are doing.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): One of my spiritual teachers once told me that a good spiritual teacher makes an effort not to seem too perfect. She said some teachers even cultivate odd quirks and harmless failings on purpose. Why? To get the best learning experience, students must be discouraged from overidealizing the wise advisors they look up to. It’s crucial they understand that achieving utter purity is impossible and unrealistic. Being perceived as an infallible expert is dangerous for teachers, too; it makes them prone to egotistical grandiosity. I bring this up, Virgo, because it’s an excellent time to reduce the likelihood that you’ll be seduced by the illusion of perfection.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): This would be a good week to talk to yourself far more than you usually do. If you’re the type of person who never talks to yourself, this is a perfect time to start. And I do mean that you should speak the words out loud. Actually address yourself with passionate, humorous, ironic, sincere, insightful comments, as you would any person you care about. Why am I suggesting this? Because according to my interpretation of the astrological omens, you would benefit from the shock of literally hearing how your mind works. Even more importantly: The cheerleading you do, the encouragement you deliver, and the motivational speeches you give would have an unusually powerful impact if they were audibly articulated.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): In the fairy tale Beauty and the Beast, a grotesque human-like creature hosts the heroine in his home, treating her like a queen. She accepts his hospitality but rejects his constant requests to marry him. Eventually, he collapses from heartache. Moved by the depth of his suffering, she breaks into tears and confesses her deep affection for him. This shatters the spell and magically transforms the Beast back into the handsome prince he originally was. Your life may have parallels to this story in the coming months, Scorpio. You might be tested. Can you discern the truth about a valuable resource that doesn’t look very sexy? Will you be able to see beauty embedded in a rough or shabby form?

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): If you say “rabbit rabbit rabbit” as soon as you wake up on the first day of the month, you will have good luck for the next 30 to 31 days. At least that’s how reality works according to a British superstition. But judging from your astrological omens, I don’t think you will have to resort to magic tricks like that to stimulate your good fortune. In the next four weeks, I suspect you will be the beneficiary of a flood of cosmic mojo, as well as a surge of divine woowoo, a shower of astral juju, and an upwelling of universal googoo gaga. If it would give you even more confidence to invoke your favorite superstitions, though, go right ahead. Even scientists say that kind of thing works: tinyurl.com/SuperstitiousBoost.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): According to Greek myth, Perseus cut off the head of Medusa. She was the creature whose hair was composed of snakes and whose gaze could turn a person into stone. The immortal winged horse Pegasus was instantaneously born from Medusa’s blood. He ultimately became an ally to the nine Muses, and Zeus relied on him to carry thunder and lightning. I predict that while you’re sleeping, Capricorn, you will have a dream that contains elements of this myth. Here’s a preliminary interpretation of that dream: You are undergoing a transition that could in a sense give you the power of flight and a more abundant access to a muse.

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): It’s time for you to be leader of the pack, Aquarius; to take your gang to the next level; to make sure the group mind isn’t suppressing innovation and enforcing peer pressure but is rather inspiring every member of the tribe to be as creative as they dare to be. And if it’s not realistic for you to wield that much power, then do whatever you can to synergize the alliances that hold your posse together. Build team morale. Gossip constructively. Conspire to animate an influx of fresh magic.

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): If you’re a food company that wants to sell chicken in the shape of a chicken wing, it must have actual chicken wing meat in it. Otherwise, the law says you’ve got to call your product “wyngz.” I’ve always thought that there’s a lot of information the media presents as “news” that is really as fake as wyngz. That’s why I advocate calling the bogus stuff “newzak” (rhymes with “muzak”). Your assignment in the coming weeks, Pisces, is to make sure you’re not putting out any wyngz- or newzak-like stuff in your own chosen field. The fates will help you rather dramatically if you put a high premium on authenticity.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): “They are trying to make me into a fixed star,” complained religious leader Martin Luther a few centuries ago. “I am an irregular planet.” I invite you to use that declaration as your own in the coming weeks. You have every right to avoid being pinned down, pigeonholed, and forced to be consistent. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you need abundant freedom to mutate your identity. You deserve a poetic license that allows you to play a variety of different roles and explore the pleasures of unpredictable self-expression.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): “The Star-Spangled Banner” is America’s national anthem. It features the lyrics of a patriotic poem written by Francis Scott Key. But the melody itself is entirely lifted from a bawdy old song that celebrates Bacchus, the ancient god of wine and ecstatic dancing. I love it when things are repurposed as dramatically as that. Do you? The coming weeks will be prime time to repurpose stuff with creative abandon. Make the past useful for the future, Taurus. Turn good old ideas into fantastic new ones. Don’t just recycle; transform.

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): I’m guessing that in the coming weeks you will be receiving a multitude of inquiries, invitations, and temptations—probably more than you feel capable of responding to, and certainly more than you should respond to. A few of these opportunities might be appealing and lead to interesting adventures. But some will be useless, diversionary, or trivial. Will you be able to tell the difference? That’s your big challenge. If you’d like help dodging unwanted solicitations, give out this phone number as your own: (212) 479-7990. It’s a free service provide by “The Rejection Line” at Rejectionline.com. People calling that number will be politely told you aren’t available.

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): For millennia, the plant known as the yellow avalanche lily has thrived on mountain slopes and meadows throughout western North America. It blooms early in the spring, just in time for broad-tailed hummingbirds that migrate from Central America to sip the flower’s nectar. But now there’s a problem with that ancient arrangement. Due to global warming, the lily now blossoms 17 days earlier than it used to. But the hummingbirds haven’t made an adjustment in their schedule, so they’re barely showing up in time to get their full allotment of nectar. I suspect this is a metaphor for a shift you may be facing in your own life rhythm. Fortunately, you’ve been forewarned, and you can adjust better than the hummingbirds.

Leo
(July 23-August 22): In our calendar, there is no special holiday devoted to honoring the joy and power of rebellion. This oversight confounds me. All my experience tells me that the urge to revolt is a fundamental human need. Every one of us has a sacred duty to regularly rise up and overthrow a stale status quo that is oppressing us—whether that’s an organized group effort we’re part of or our own deadening routine. I’m telling you this, Leo, because it’s an excellent time to celebrate your own Rebellion Jubilee. Your vitality will soar as you shed numbing habits and decaying traditions.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): Recently you’ve had resemblances to an 8-year-old kid wearing the pajamas you loved when you were 5. Your bare arms are jutting out beyond where the sleeves end, and there’s a similar thing going on with your legs. The fabric is ripped here and there because it can’t accommodate how much you’ve grown. You’re feeling discomfort in places where the overly tight fit is squeezing your flesh. All of this is somewhat cute but mostly alarming. I wish you would wean yourself of the past and update your approach.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): A lot of leopard frogs live on Staten Island, one of New York City’s five boroughs. Most of them make a sound that resembles a long snore or a rapid chuckle. But over the years, biologists have also detected a third type of frogly expression: a clipped, repetitive croak. Just this year, they finally figured out that this belonged to an entirely distinct species of leopard frog that they had never before identified. It’s still so new it doesn’t have a name yet. I expect a metaphorically similar development in your life, Libra. You will become aware of a secret that has been hiding in plain sight. You will “find” something that actually revealed itself to you some time ago.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): Tom Tolbert is a sports talk show host on San Francisco radio station KNBR. I am amazingly neutral about him. Nothing he says fascinates me or mirrors my own thoughts. On the other hand, he never makes me mad and he’s not boring. I neither like him nor dislike him. I simply see him for who he is, without any regard for what he can do for me. He has become a symbol of the possibility that I’m able to look at a human being with complete impartiality, having no wish for him to be different from what he is. In the coming week, I suggest you try to achieve this enlightened state of mind on a regular basis. It’s prime time, astrologically speaking, to ripen your mastery of the art of objectivity.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): In 2007 the band White Stripes did a tour of Canada. One of their final gigs was outdoors in St. John’s, Newfoundland. They came on stage, played one note­—a C-sharp—and declared the performance over. It was the briefest rock show in history. Judging from the current astrological omens, Scorpio, I’m thinking it would be a good time for you to do some almost equally pithy things. You have the potential to be extremely concise and intense and focused in all you do. I urge you to fulfill that potential. Pack every speech, gesture, and action with a concentrated wealth of meaning.

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): Your redesigned thrust vectoring matrix is finally operational. Love those new nozzles! Moreover, you’ve managed to purge all the bugs from your cellular tracking pulse, and your high-resolution flux capacitor is retooled and as sexy as a digitally-remastered simulation of your first kiss. You’re almost ready for take-off, Sagittarius! The most important task left to do is to realign your future shock absorbers. No more than a week from now, I expect you to be flying high and looking very, very good.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): The plot twists will be intriguing. The actors may be unpredictable, even erratic. Blossoming and decay will be happening simultaneously, and the line between wisdom and craziness could get blurry. There’s not nearly enough room in this little horoscope to describe the epic sweep of the forces working behind the scenes. Are you willing to confront uncanny truths that other people might regard as too unruly? Are you brave enough to penetrate to the depths that others are too timid to look at, let alone deal with? I hope you are, Capricorn, because that will give you the power to ultimately emerge from the drama with your integrity shining and your intelligence boosted.

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): Psychologists have done studies that suggest we subconsciously adopt the qualities of fictional characters we read about or see in movies. That’s not a problem if those characters are smart, ethical, highly motivated people whose ideals are similar to ours. But if the heroes of the stories we absorb are jerks who treat others badly and make messes wherever they go, our imitative urges may lead us astray. Right now is a crucial time for you to be extra careful about the role models you allow to seep into your imagination. You’re especially susceptible to taking on their attributes. I say, be proactive: Expose yourself intensely to only the very best fictional characters who embody the heights you aspire to reach.

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): “The fates guide him who will; him who won’t, they drag.” So said the ancient Greek philosopher Seneca, and now I’m passing it on to you. It’s an excellent time for you to think about the issue. Ask yourself: Have you been cooperating with fate so that it has maximum power to shepherd you? Have you been working closely with fate, giving it good reasons to consistently provide you with useful hints and timely nudges? Or have you been you avoiding fate, even resisting it out of laziness or ignorance, compelling it to yank you along? Spend the next few weeks making sure your relationship with fate is strong and righteous.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): “Don’t think about making art, just get it done,” said Andy Warhol. “Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” I encourage you to adopt that mini-manifesto for your own purposes in the coming weeks, Aries. If you’re not an artist, simply substitute the appropriate phrase for “making art.” It could be “creating interesting relationships,” “exploring exotic lands,” “changing corrupt political institutions,” “fixing environmental problems,” or even “making money.” The main point is: Focus on doing what drives your quest for meaning, and forget about what people think of it.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): A Jungian writer whose name I have unfortunately misplaced made the following observations: “In a man’s psyche, the unconscious is experienced as chaotic, filled with violent and irrational processes of generation and destruction. But to a woman’s psyche the unconscious is a fascinating matrix of sacred images and rituals which in their wildly contradictory meanings express the secret unity of all life.” After analyzing the astrological omens, I suspect that you Taurus men now have an unprecedented opportunity to experience your unconscious as women do. As for you Taurus women: You have the chance to get a vivid, visceral understanding of how true this description of the female unconscious is.

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): Let’s talk about the Decision. I’m referring to the Choice you have been dancing around and fretting about and analyzing to death. By my estimate, there are at least 15 different solutions you could pursue. But just seven of those solutions would meet the requirements of being intelligent, responsible, and fun. Of those seven, only four would be intelligent, responsible, fun, and enduring. Of those four, only two would be intelligent, responsible, fun, enduring, and the best for all concerned. I suggest you opt for one of those two.

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): I’m not necessarily asserting that you need to edit yourself, Cancerian. Only you can decide that. But I will state unequivocally that if there is in fact any editing needed, now would be a good time to do it. You will have extra insight about what aspects of your life might benefit from being condensed, corrected, and fine-tuned. It’s also true that the rectifications you do in the coming weeks will be relatively smooth and painless. So look into the possibilities, please. Should you calm your blame reflex? Downsize a huffy attitude? Shed some emotional baggage?

Leo
(July 23-August 22): How many times have you been in love, Leo? Just once or twice? Or have you dived into the depths of amorous togetherness again and again over the years? Whatever the case may be, I bet you have strong ideas about the nature of passionate romance and profound intimacy. That’s natural and normal. But I’m going to ask you to temporarily forget everything you think you know about all that stuff. I invite you to become innocent again, cleansed of all your mature, jaded, hopeful, and resentful thoughts about the game of love. In my astrological opinion, there’s no better way for you to prepare for what will come next.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): A medical research journal reported on a British woman who accidentally swallowed a felt-tip pen. It lay there in her stomach for 25 years. When surgeons finally removed it, they were surprised to find it still worked. I am not suggesting that anything remotely as exotic or bizarre will be happening to you, Virgo. I do suspect, though, that you will soon have an experience with certain metaphorical resemblances to that event. For example, you may retrieve and find use for an element of your past that has been gone or missing for a long time.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): “Sapiosexual” is a relatively new word that refers to a person who is erotically attracted to intelligence. Urbandictionary.com gives an example of how it might be used: “I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want a sapiosexual.” In the coming weeks, Libra, I suspect you will be closer to fitting this definition than you’ve ever been before. The yearning that’s rising up in you is filled with the need to be stimulated by brilliance, to be influenced by wisdom, to be catalyzed by curiosity.

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): “They will say you are on the wrong road,” said poet Antonio Porchia, “if it is your own.” I suspect you may have to deal with wrong-headed badgering like that in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. In fact, you could experience a surge of discouraging words and bad advice that tries to shoo you away from the path with heart. Some of the push may come from enemies, some from friends or loved ones, and some from deluded little voices in your own head. I hope you won’t be demoralized by the onslaught, but will instead respond like a brave hero who uses adversity as a motivating force.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): I’m sure you’ve got thousands of practical details to attend to. Your schedule may be as busy as it has been in months. But I hope you will find time to do what I consider essential to your well-being, and that is to wander and wonder. In fact, let’s make that your motto: to wander and wonder. Even if it’s just for a few stolen moments between your serious appointments, allow yourself to meander off into the unknown and marvel at all the curious things you find. Be on the lookout for high strangeness that thrills your imagination, for exotic pleasures that titillate your lust for novelty, and for fertile chaos that blows your mind in all the right ways.

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): James Joyce was a great novelist but not much of a fighter. He picked a more imposing and athletic buddy to go drinking with, though: Ernest Hemingway. If the two men encountered any alcohol-induced trouble, Joyce would slink behind his friend and yell, “Deal with him, Hemingway, deal with him!” I don’t anticipate that you’ll be in the vicinity of any bar scuffles in the coming week, Aquarius. But I do think you would benefit from having a potent and persuasive ally on your side. It’s time to add some heft and clout to your arsenal of resources.

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): Is it possible that you have been too receptive and empathetic for your own good lately? I mean, I love how attuned you are to the ebb and flow of subtle energies—it’s one of your most winsome and powerful qualities—but I fear you may be going too far. As heroic as it might seem to be the most sensitive and responsive person in a ten-mile radius, I’d rather see you work on being more self-contained right now. That’s why, for a limited time only, I’m recommending that you turn the full force of your touchy-feely solicitude on yourself.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): In old Christian and Islamic lore, the dove was a symbol of the holy spirit. The bird was considered so pure and sacred that the devil, who was an expert shapeshifter, could not take on its form. The dove had a different meaning in other traditions, however. Among the ancient Greeks, it had a special relationship with Aphrodite, the goddess of love. In Rome, its eggs were regarded as aphrodisiacs. Drawing on all these meanings, I’m nominating the dove to be your power animal in the coming week. You will have an excellent chance to intensify your connection with divine truths through the power of love and eros—and vice versa.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): Your next assignment is to deepen and refine your relationship with your temptations. That doesn’t mean you should shed all caution and simply give in to them. Rather, I’m suggesting you escape the bind that makes you feel like you have to either ruthlessly repress your complicated longings or else thoroughly express them. Is there an in-between position you can find? A way you can appreciate the mysterious gift that the temptations confer and not be miserably obsessed by them? A perspective in which you’re neither tormented by guilt nor driven to compromise your integrity?

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): You’re a bit like a professional jet pilot who is operating the pirate ship ride at an amusement park. You have resemblances to a top chef who’s shopping for gourmet ingredients in a seedy convenience store. In other words, Gemini, you may feel slightly off-kilter or dispossessed, even though you have a lot going for you. Here’s the best possible thing you could do while you wait for the fates to show you how to make a correction: Make it your intention to feel centered, poised, and at peace exactly as you are right now.

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): Contrary to conventional wisdom, there is currently enough food available to feed everyone on the planet. The problem is, it’s not distributed efficiently. Some people get far more food than they need, and even waste a lot of it, while less fortunate folks go hungry. I invite you to think about whether you might have a metaphorically comparable situation in your own life, Cancerian. Is there a part of your psyche that’s well-nurtured but a different part that receives meager shares of love and support? Are you overstuffed in one way but starved in another? The coming weeks would be an excellent time to correct such an imbalance. (More on food: tinyurl.com/HungryWorld.)

Leo
(July 23-August 22): This horoscope is not an advertisement for ceremonial shovels. I am receiving no payment from a ceremonial shovel company for suggesting that you procure a customized engraved gold digging tool for your own personal use. And I will feel fine if you don’t actually get a real one, but instead merely imagine yourself wielding a pretend version. The fact is, Leo, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to do a groundbreaking ritual: to dig up the first scoop of metaphorical dirt in the place where you will build your future dream house, masterpiece, or labor of love.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): I don’t think you’re fully aware of the game you’ve been immersed in. You may even be in denial that you’re playing it. If I’m right about this, please make it a priority to acknowledge what’s going on and identify the exact nature of the game. You can’t afford to be innocent about the subterranean forces that are in motion. It’s especially important not to be too nice and polite to see the complicated truth. Please note: There’s no need to be a cynical shark—that would be as inappropriate a response as being a sweet little lamb. But you should definitely activate your jungle senses.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): On Reddit.com, someone asked members of the community the following: What is your best unanswerable question? Among the more serious offerings were “What is love?,” “What is magic?,” “Why is there something as opposed to nothing?,” and “What is the meaning of life?” Then there were more avant-garde possibilities: “Where do squirrels go during hurricanes?,” “Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?,” and “If I asked you to sleep with me, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?” After evaluating the current astrological omens, Libra, I urge you to pose your own best riddle—a query that will provide maximum stimulation as you meditate on it during the next four months.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): This is an excellent time to explore the frontiers of wise foolishness. I’m hoping you will take full advantage of learning opportunities that might require you to shed your excess dignity and acknowledge how much you don’t know. Are you brave enough to disavow cynical thoughts and jaded attitudes that muffle your lust for life? Are you smart enough to understand how healthy it would be to go out and play like an innocent wild child? Make yourself available for delightful surprises.

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): Zombies used to be terrifying. But then they became a featured motif in pop culture, often in humorous contexts, and now there’s a growing acceptance and even affection for them. Here’s the view of Max Brooks, author of The Zombie Survival Guide: “Eventually rock and roll morphs from Sid Vicious to the Jonas Brothers. Same thing with vampires: We went from Dracula to Twilight to make them peachy and G-rated. I guarantee you someone is working on a way to take the fear out of zombies and market them to children.” Your assignment, Sagittarius, is to do to your personal fears what the entertainment industry has done to zombies: Turn them into amusing caricatures that don’t trouble you so much. For example, visualize an adversary singing a duet with Justin Bieber.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): “You must learn from the mistakes of others,” said humorist Sam Levenson. “You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” That’s excellent advice for you right now, Capricorn. In order to glean the teachings you need most, you won’t have to bumble through a single wrong turn or bad decision yourself. There will be plenty of blundering role models who will be providing you with the precise inspiration you need. Study them carefully.

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): Every November, thousands of writers participate in National Novel Writing Month. They pledge to compose at least 50,000 words of a new novel in that 30-day period. In accordance with the astrological omens, Aquarius, I propose that you commit yourself to a comparable project in your own field. Is there a potential masterpiece on which you could get a substantial amount of work done? Is there a major transformation you’ve long wanted to undertake but have always had some excuse to avoid? I predict that you will attract unexpected help and luck if you summon the willpower to focus on that task.

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): Don’t believe the climate is changing? Go ask the birds what they think. Sixty percent of all the feathered species in North America have moved north in the past 46 years. Scientists are pretty sure their migration is a response to the warming trend that’s afoot. I like the idea of tuning in to how animals behave in order to get accurate information about the state of the world. Would you consider doing more of that, Pisces? According to my astrological analysis, the coming months will be a time when you can learn a lot from non-human intelligences.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): Big opportunities are coming up for you. Even if you cash in on them, though, they aren’t likely to make an immediate practical impact. They are subtle and deep, these prospects. They have the potential of catalyzing monumental shifts in your long-term unfolding, but will take a while to transform your day-to-day rhythm. So what are these openings? Here are my guesses: 1. You could root out a bad seed that got embedded in your subconscious mind before you knew any better. 2. You could reinterpret the meaning of certain turning points in your past, thereby revising the flow of your life story. 3. You could forgive yourself for an old sin you thought you’d never let go of. 4. You could receive a friendly shock that will diminish some sadness you’ve carried for a long time.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): This would be a good time to get introspective and meditative about your urge to merge…to think objectively about the way you approach togetherness…to be honest with yourself about what strengths and weaknesses you bring to the art of collaboration. The most important question you can ask yourself during this inventory is this: “How do I personally contribute, either knowingly or unconsciously, to the problems I experience in relationships?” Here’s another query you might consider: “How hard am I willing to work to create the kinds of intimacy and alliances I say I want?”

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): “Dear Rob: I seem to be marooned in an interesting limbo. The sights and sounds are not exactly pretty, but they keep me perversely entertained. I’m sampling tastes that are more sour than sweet, thinking that sooner or later the sweetness will start to prevail—but it never does. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a trance, unable to do what’s best for me. Can you offer any help? Like maybe give me a password that would break me out of the trance?—Meandering Gemini.” Dear Meandering: This is one of those rare times when you have cosmic permission to favor what’s calming and reassuring rather than what’s amusing and stimulating. Your password is sanctuary.

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): On September 22, the San Francisco Giants played a baseball game against the San Diego Padres. In the fourth inning, Giants’ third baseman Pablo Sandoval sprinted to the edge of the field, then hurled himself over a railing and into the crowd in order to snag a foul pop-up. The fact that he landed upside down but perfectly unhurt wasn’t the most impressive aspect of his feat. Nor was his improbable ability to wield such precise concentration while invoking so much raw force. Even more amazing was the pink bubble that Sandoval blew with his chewing gum nanoseconds before he dived. It was a supremely playful and successful Zen moment. That’s the spirit I hope you will bring to your efforts in the coming days.

Leo
(July 23-August 22): Your unconscious mind will be more accessible than usual in the coming weeks. It will reveal its agendas more clearly and play more of an active role in your life. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It will depend on how open-minded you are toward the surprises your secret self will reveal. If you try to ignore or repress its eruptions, they’ll probably wreak chaos. If, on the other hand, you treat this other part of you as an unpredictable but generous ally, you may be able to work out a collaboration that serves you both.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): Urbandictionary.com defines “Skymall solution” as “an absurdly single-purposed tool or solution that solves a problem you don’t actually have.” The term is derived from the famous Skymall catalog, which sells unusual specialty products. According to my analysis of the current astrological omens, you should be wary of any attraction you might have to Skymall solutions. Do you really need a King Tut tissue box cover or an ice cube tray that makes ice in the shape of dachshunds or a stencil set for putting messages on your bundt cake? I doubt it. Nor do you need their metaphorical equivalents.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): Right before I woke up this morning, I had a dream that one of my teeth fell out. As I lay there groggily in bed, my mind searched for its meaning. “What does losing a tooth symbolize?” I asked myself. “What is its psychological meaning?” I promised myself that when I got up, I would google that question. But my rumination was interrupted by a dull ache in the back of my mouth, and it was only then that I remembered: Yesterday, in actual waking life, I had a real tooth yanked out by a real dentist. The moral of the story, Libra: Be wary of making up elaborate stories and mythic assumptions about events that have simple, mundane explanations.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): “It’s so fine and yet so terrible to stand in front of a blank canvas,” said French painter Paul Cezanne. Many writers make similar comments about the excruciating joy they feel when first sitting down in front of an empty page. For artists in any genre, in fact, getting started may seem painfully impossible. And yet there can also be a delicious anticipation as the ripe chaos begins to coalesce into coherent images or words or music. Even if you’re not an artist, Scorpio, you’re facing a comparable challenge in your own chosen field. Halloween costume suggestion: a painter with a blank canvas.

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): As you contemplate what you want to be for Halloween, don’t consider any of the following options: a thoroughbred racehorse wearing a blindfold; a mythic centaur clanking around in iron boots; a seahorse trying to dance on dry land. For that matter, Sagittarius, I hope you won’t come close to imitating any of those hapless creatures even in your non-Halloween life. It’s true that the coming days will be an excellent time to explore, analyze, and deal with your limitations. But that doesn’t mean you should be overwhelmed and overcome by them. Halloween costume suggestions: Houdini, an escaped prisoner, a snake molting its skin.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): “Does anyone know where I can find dinosaur costumes for cats?” asked a Halloween shopper on Reddit.com. In the comments section, someone else said that he needed a broccoli costume for his Chihuahua. I bring this up, Capricorn, because if anyone could uncover the answers to these questions, it would be you. You’ve got a magic touch when it comes to hunting down solutions to unprecedented problems. Halloween costume suggestion: a cat wearing a dinosaur costume.

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): The Live Monarch Foundation made a video on how to fix a butterfly’s broken wing (tinyurl.com/FixWing). It ain’t easy. You need 10 items, including tweezers, talcum powder, toothpicks, and glue. You’ve got to be patient and summon high levels of concentration. But it definitely can be done. The same is true about the delicate healing project you’ve thought about attempting on your own wound, Aquarius. It will require you to be ingenious, precise, and tender, but I suspect you’re primed to rise to the challenge. Halloween costume suggestion: herbalist, acupuncturist, doctor, shaman, or other healer.

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): It’s not a good time to wear Super-Control Higher-Power Spanx, or any other girdle, corset, or restrictive garment. In fact, I advise you not to be a willing participant in any situation that pinches, hampers, or confines you. You need to feel exceptionally expansive. In order to thrive, you’ve got to give yourself permission to spill over, think big, and wander freely. As for those people who might prefer you to keep your unruly urges in check and your natural inclinations concealed: Tell them your astrologer authorized you to seize a massive dose of slack. Halloween costume suggestions: a wild man or wild woman; a mythical bird like the Garuda or Thunderbird; the god or goddess of abundance.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): In the coming days, many of your important tasks will be best accomplished through caginess and craftiness. Are you willing to work behind the scenes and beneath the surface? I suspect you will have a knack for navigating your way skillfully and luckily through mazes and their metaphorical equivalents. The mists may very well part at your command, revealing clues that no one else but you can get access to. You might also have a talent for helping people to understand elusive or difficult truths. Halloween costume suggestions: spy, stage magician, ghost whisperer, exorcist.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): The coming week could have resemblances to the holiday known as Opposite Day. Things people say may have meanings that are different or even contrary to what they supposedly mean. Qualities you usually regard as liabilities might temporarily serve as assets, and strengths could seem problematical or cause confusion. You should also be wary of the possibility that the advice you get from people you trust may be misleading. For best results, make liberal use of reverse psychology, freaky logic, and mirror magic. Halloween costume suggestion: the opposite of who you really are.

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): I don’t have a big problem with your tendency to contradict yourself. I’m rarely among the consistency freaks who would prefer you to stick with just one of your many selves instead of hopscotching among all nine. In fact, I find your multi-level multiplicity interesting and often alluring. I take it as a sign that you are in alignment with the fundamentally paradoxical nature of life. Having said all that, however, I want to alert you to an opportunity that the universe is currently offering you, which is to feel unified, steady, and stable. Does that sound even vaguely enticing? Why not try it out for a few weeks? Halloween costume suggestion: an assemblage or collage of several of your different personas.

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): An avocado tree may produce so much fruit that the sheer weight of its exuberant creation causes it to collapse. Don’t be like that in the coming weeks, Cancerian. Without curbing your luxuriant mood, simply monitor your outpouring of fertility so that it generates just the right amount of beautiful blooms. Be vibrant and bountiful and fluidic, but not unconstrained or overwrought or recklessly lavish. Halloween costume suggestion: a bouquet, an apple tree, a rich artist, or an exotic dancer with a bowl of fruit on your head.

Leo
(July 23-August 22): I hope your father didn’t beat you or scream at you or molest you. If he did, I am so sorry for your suffering. I also hope that your father didn’t ignore you or withhold his best energy from you. I hope he didn’t disappear for weeks at a time and act oblivious to your beauty. If he did those things, I mourn for your loss. Now it’s quite possible that you were spared such mistreatment, Leo. Maybe your dad gave you conscientious care and loved you for who you really are. But whatever the case might be, this is the right time to acknowledge it. If you’re one of the lucky ones, celebrate to the max. If you’re one of the wounded ones, begin or renew your quest for serious and intensive healing. Halloween costume suggestion: your father.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): Do you know how to tell the difference between superstitious hunches and dependable intuitions? Are you good at distinguishing between mediocre gossip that’s only 10 percent accurate and reliable rumors that provide you with the real inside dope? I suspect that you will soon get abundant opportunities to test your skill in these tasks. To increase the likelihood of your success, ask yourself the following question on a regular basis: Is what you think you’re seeing really there or is it mostly a projection of your expectations and theories? Halloween costume suggestions: a lie detector, an interrogator with syringes full of truth serum, a superhero with X-ray vision, a lab scientist.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): I am officially protesting you, Libra. I am staging a walkout and mounting a demonstration and launching a boycott unless you agree to my demand. And yes, I have just one demand: that you take better care of the neglected, disempowered, and underprivileged parts of your life. Not a year from now; not when you have more leisure time; NOW! If and when you do this, I predict the arrival of a flood of personal inspiration. Halloween costume suggestion: a symbolic representation of a neglected, disempowered, or underprivileged part of your life.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): “Hello Dear Sir: I would like to place a large order for yellow chicken curry, cherry cream cheese cupcakes, and sour, malty Belgian golden ale. It’s for my birthday party this Saturday, and will need to serve exactly 152 people. My agent will pick it up at 11am. Please have it ready on time.—Ms. Lori Chandra.” Dear Ms. Chandra: I am an astrologer, not a caterer, so I’m afraid I can’t fulfill your order. It’s admirable that you know so precisely what you want and are so authoritative about trying to get it; but please remember how crucial it is to seek the fulfillment of your desires from a source that can actually fulfill them. You’re a Libra, right? Your birthday is this week? Thanks for giving me an excuse to send this timely message to all of your fellow Libras.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): Here comes the big reveal of the month; the trick ending of the year; and maybe the most unusual happiness of the decade. Any day now you will get the chance to decipher the inside story that’s beneath the untold story that’s hidden within the secret story. I won’t be surprised if one of your most sophisticated theories about the nature of reality gets cracked, allowing you to recover at least a measure of primal innocence. I suggest you start practicing the arts of laughing while you cry and crying while you laugh right now. That way you’ll be all warmed up when an old style of give-and-take comes to an end, ultimately making way for a more profound new give-and-take.

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): There’s almost nothing about the dandelion that humans can’t make use of. People of many different countries have eaten its buds, leaves, and greens. Besides being tasty, it contains high levels of several vitamins and minerals. Its flowers are the prime ingredient in dandelion wine, and its roots have been turned into a coffee substitute. Herbalists from a variety of traditions have found medicinal potency in various parts of the plant. Last but not least, dandelions are pretty and fun to play with! In the coming weeks, Sagittarius, I invite you to approach the whole world as if it were a dandelion. In other words, get maximum use and value out of every single thing with which you interact.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): “Intellect confuses intuition,” asserted painter Piet Mondrian. I don’t think that’s always true, even for creative artists. But in the coming week I suspect it’ll be important for you to take into consideration. So make sure you know the difference between your analytical thinking and your gut-level hunches, and don’t let your thinking just automatically override your hunches. Here’s more helpful advice from painter Robert Genn: “The job of the intellect is to give permission to the intuition, and it’s the job of intuition to know when intellect is once again appropriate.”

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): It’s time to seek help from outside the magic circle you usually stay inside. You need to call on extracurricular resources—people and animals and deities who can offer useful interventions and delightful serendipity and unexpected deliverance. The remedies that work for you most of the time just won’t be applicable in the coming days. The usual spiritual appeals will be irrelevant. I’m not saying that you are facing a dire predicament; not at all. What I’m suggesting is that the riddles you will be asked to solve are outside the purview of your customary guides and guidelines.

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): These days lobsters are regarded as a luxury food, but that wasn’t the case among early Americans. In the 17th and 18th centuries, the large crustaceans were meals that were thought to be suitable only for poor people and prisoners. Wealthy folks wouldn’t touch the stuff. After examining your astrological omens, Pisces, I’m wondering if your future holds a similar transformation. I think there could very well be a rags-to-riches story in which an ignored or denigrated thing ascends to a more important role.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): Ten percent of all sexually suggestive text messages are delivered to the wrong number. Take precautions to make sure you’re not among that 10 percent in the coming weeks. It will be extra important for you to be scrupulous in communicating about eros and intimacy. The stakes will be higher than usual. Togetherness is likely to either become more intensely interesting or else more intensely confusing—and it’s largely up to you which direction it goes. For best results, express yourself clearly and with maximum integrity.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): If it were within my power, I’d help you identify the new feelings you have not yet been able to understand. I would infuse you with the strength you would need to shed the worn-out delusions that are obstructing your connection to far more interesting truths. And I would free you from any compulsion you have to live up to expectations that are not in alignment with your highest ideals. Alas, I can’t make any of these things happen all by myself. So I hope you will rise to the occasion and perform these heroic feats under your own power.

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): Dutch graphic artist M.C. Escher (1898-1972) was a Gemini. He liked to depict seemingly impossible structures, like stairways in which people who climbed to the top arrived at the bottom. I nominate him to be your patron saint in the coming week. You should have his talent for playing with tricks and riddles in ways that mess with everyone’s boring certainties. Here are four Escher quotes you can feel free to use as your own. 1. “Are you really sure that a floor can’t also be a ceiling?” 2. “My work is a game, a very serious game.” 3. “I think it’s in my basement; let me go upstairs and check.” 4. “Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.”

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): The Venus flytrap is a remarkable plant that gobbles up insects and spiders. Its leaves do the dirty work, snapping shut around its unsuspecting prey. Evolution has made sure that the flowers of the Venus flytrap sit atop a high stalk at a safe distance from where all the eating takes place. This guarantees that pollinators visiting the flowers don’t get snagged by the carnivorous leaves below. So the plant gets both of its main needs met: a regular supply of food and the power to disseminate its seeds. I’ll ask you to derive a lesson from all this, Cancerian. Be sure that in your eagerness to get the energy you need, you don’t interfere with your ability to spread your influence and connect with your allies.

Leo
(July 23-August 22): A sinuous and shimmering archetype that begins with the letter “s” has been trying to catch your attention, Leo—sometimes in subliminal and serpentine ways. Why haven’t you fully tuned in yet? Could it be because you’re getting distracted by mildly entertaining but ultimately irrelevant trivia? I’m hoping to shock you out of your erroneous focus. Here’s the magic trigger code that should do the trick: Psssssssssst! Now please do what you can to make yourself very receptive to the slippery, spidery signals of the simmeringly sublime surge.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): Don’t burn down a bridge you haven’t finished building yet. O.K., Virgo? Don’t try to “steal” things that already belong to you, either. And resist the urge to flee from creatures that are not even pursuing you. Catch my drift? Stop yourself any time you’re about to say nasty things about yourself behind your own back, and avoid criticizing people for expressing flaws that you yourself have, and don’t go to extraordinary lengths to impress people you don’t even like or respect. Pretty please? This is a phase of your astrological cycle when you should put an emphasis on keeping things simple and solid and stable.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): “Hello Dear Sir: I would like to place a large order for yellow chicken curry, cherry cream cheese cupcakes, and sour, malty Belgian golden ale. It’s for my birthday party this Saturday, and will need to serve exactly 152 people. My agent will pick it up at 11 a.m. Please have it ready on time.—Ms. Lori Chandra.” Dear Ms. Chandra: I am an astrologer, not a caterer, so I’m afraid I can’t fulfill your order. It’s admirable that you know so precisely what you want and are so authoritative about trying to get it; but please remember how crucial it is to seek the fulfillment of your desires from a source that can actually fulfill them. You’re a Libra, right? Your birthday is this week? Thanks for giving me an excuse to send this timely message to all of your fellow Libras.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): Here comes the big reveal of the month; the trick ending of the year; and maybe the most unusual happiness of the decade. Any day now you will get the chance to decipher the inside story that’s beneath the untold story that’s hidden within the secret story. I won’t be surprised if one of your most sophisticated theories about the nature of reality gets cracked, allowing you to at recover at least a measure of primal innocence. I suggest you start practicing the arts of laughing while you cry and crying while you laugh right now. That way you’ll be all warmed up when an old style of give-and-take comes to an end, ultimately making way for a more profound new give-and-take.

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): There’s almost nothing about the dandelion that humans can’t make use of. People of many different countries have eaten its buds, leaves, and greens. Besides being tasty, it contains high levels of several vitamins and minerals. Its flowers are the prime ingredient in dandelion wine, and its roots have been turned into a coffee substitute. Herbalists from a variety of traditions have found medicinal potency in various parts of the plant. Last but not least, dandelions are pretty and fun to play with! In the coming weeks, Sagittarius, I invite you to approach the whole world as if it were a dandelion. In other words, get maximum use and value out of every single thing with which you interact.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): “Intellect confuses intuition,” asserted painter Piet Mondrian. I don’t think that’s always true, even for creative artists. But in the coming week I suspect it’ll be important for you to take into consideration. So make sure you know the difference between your analytical thinking and your gut-level hunches, and don’t let your thinking just automatically override your hunches. Here’s more helpful advice from painter Robert Genn: “The job of the intellect is to give permission to the intuition, and it’s the job of intuition to know when intellect is once again appropriate.”

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): It’s time to seek help from outside the magic circle you usually stay inside. You need to call on extracurricular resources—people and animals and deities who can offer useful interventions and delightful serendipity and unexpected deliverance. The remedies that work for you most of the time just won’t be applicable in the coming days. The usual spiritual appeals will be irrelevant. I’m not saying that you are facing a dire predicament; not at all. What I’m suggesting is that the riddles you will be asked to solve are outside the purview of your customary guides and guidelines.

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): These days lobsters are regarded as a luxury food, but that wasn’t the case among early Americans. In the 17th and 18th centuries, the large crustaceans were meals that were thought to be suitable only for poor people and prisoners. Wealthy folks wouldn’t touch the stuff. After examining your astrological omens, Pisces, I’m wondering if your future holds a similar transformation. I think there could very well be a rags-to-riches story in which an ignored or denigrated thing ascends to a more important role.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): Ten percent of all sexually suggestive text messages are delivered to the wrong number. Take precautions to make sure you’re not among that 10 percent in the coming weeks. It will be extra important for you to be scrupulous in communicating about eros and intimacy. The stakes will be higher than usual. Togetherness is likely to either become more intensely interesting or else more intensely confusing—and it’s largely up to you which direction it goes. For best results, express yourself clearly and with maximum integrity.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): If it were within my power, I’d help you identify the new feelings you have not yet been able to understand. I would infuse you with the strength you would need to shed the worn-out delusions that are obstructing your connection to far more interesting truths. And I would free you from any compulsion you have to live up to expectations that are not in alignment with your highest ideals. Alas, I can’t make any of these things happen all by myself. So I hope you will rise to the occasion and perform these heroic feats under your own power.

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): Dutch graphic artist M.C. Escher (1898-1972) was a Gemini. He liked to depict seemingly impossible structures, like stairways in which people who climbed to the top arrived at the bottom. I nominate him to be your patron saint in the coming week. You should have his talent for playing with tricks and riddles in ways that mess with everyone’s boring certainties. Here are four Escher quotes you can feel free to use as your own. 1. “Are you really sure that a floor can’t also be a ceiling?” 2. “My work is a game, a very serious game.” 3. “I think it’s in my basement; let me go upstairs and check.” 4. “Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.”

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): The Venus flytrap is a remarkable plant that gobbles up insects and spiders. Its leaves do the dirty work, snapping shut around its unsuspecting prey. Evolution has made sure that the flowers of the Venus flytrap sit atop a high stalk at a safe distance from where all the eating takes place. This guarantees that pollinators visiting the flowers don’t get snagged by the carnivorous leaves below. So the plant gets both of its main needs met: a regular supply of food and the power to disseminate its seeds. I’ll ask you to derive a lesson from all this, Cancerian. Be sure that in your eagerness to get the energy you need, you don’t interfere with your ability to spread your influence and connect with your allies.

Leo
(July 23-August 22): A sinuous and shimmering archetype that begins with the letter “s” has been trying to catch your attention, Leo—sometimes in subliminal and serpentine ways. Why haven’t you fully tuned in yet? Could it be because you’re getting distracted by mildly entertaining but ultimately irrelevant trivia? I’m hoping to shock you out of your erroneous focus. Here’s the magic trigger code that should do the trick: Psssssssssst! Now please do what you can to make yourself very receptive to the slippery, spidery signals of the simmeringly sublime surge.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): Don’t burn down a bridge you haven’t finished building yet. OK, Virgo? Don’t try to “steal” things that already belong to you, either. And resist the urge to flee from creatures that are not even pursuing you. Catch my drift? Stop yourself anytime you’re about to say nasty things about yourself behind your own back, and avoid criticizing people for expressing flaws that you yourself have, and don’t go to extraordinary lengths to impress people you don’t even like or respect. Pretty please? This is a phase of your astrological cycle when you should put an emphasis on keeping things simple and solid and stable.