Author: Rob Brezsny

Libra
(September 23-October 22): The German poet and philosopher Friedrich von Schiller liked to have rotting apples in his desk drawer as he worked; the scent inspired him. Agatha Christie testified that many of her best ideas came to her while she was washing dishes. As for Beethoven, he sometimes stimulated his creativity by pouring cold water over his head. What about you, Libra? Are there odd inclinations and idiosyncratic behaviors that in the past have roused your original thinking? I encourage you to try them all this week, and then see if you can dream up at least two new ones. You have officially entered the brainstorming season.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): It’s expensive for the U.S. to hold prisoners at its Guantanamo Bay detention camp in Cuba: $800,000 per year for each detainee. That’s 30 times more than it costs to incarcerate a convict on the American mainland. According to the Miami Herald, Guantanamo is the most expensive prison on the planet. How much do you spend on locking stuff up, Scorpio? What does it cost, not just financially but emotionally and spiritually, for you to keep your secrets hidden and your fears tamped down and your unruly passions bottled up and your naughty urges suppressed? The coming weeks would be a good time to make sure the price you pay for all that is reasonable—not even close to being like Guantanamo.

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): What time is it, boys and girls? It’s Floods of Fantastic Gratitude Week: a perfect opportunity to express your passionate appreciation for everything you’ve been given. So get out there and tell people how much you’ve benefited from what they’ve done for you. For best results, be playful and have fun as you express your thanks. By the way, there’ll be a fringe benefit to this outpouring: By celebrating the blessings you already enjoy, you will generate future blessings.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): Telling the whole deep truth and nothing but the whole deep truth isn’t necessarily a recipe for being popular. It may on occasion provoke chaos and be disruptive. In an institutional setting, displays of candor may even diminish your clout and undermine your ambitions. But now take everything I just said and disregard it for a while. This is one of those rare times when being profoundly authentic will work to your supreme advantage.

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): “Show me the money” is a meme that first appeared in the 1996 movie Jerry Maguire. It has been uttered approximately a hundred trillion times since then. Have you ever said it in earnest? If so, you were probably demanding to get what you had been promised. You were telling people you wanted to see tangible proof that they valued your efforts. In light of your current astrological omens, I propose that you use a variation on this theme. What you need right now is less materialistic and more marvelous. Try making this your mantra: “Show me the magic.”

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): My acquaintance Jacob fell for a woman who also professed her ardor for him. But in the midst of their courtship, as the mystery was still ripening, she suddenly left the country. “I’ve got to go to Indonesia,” she texted him one night, and she was gone the next day. Jacob was confused, forlorn, dazed. He barely ate for days. On the sixth day, a FedEx package arrived from her. It contained a green silk scarf and a note: “I wore this as I walked to the top of the volcano and said a five-hour prayer to elevate our love.” Jacob wasn’t sure how to interpret it, although it seemed to be a good omen. What happened next? I haven’t heard yet. I predict that you will soon receive a sign that has resemblances to this one. Don’t jump to conclusions about what it means, but assume the best.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): Here’s the curious message I derived from the current astrological configurations: It’s one of those rare times when a wall may actually help bring people together. How? Why? The omens don’t reveal that specific information. They only tell me that what seems like a barrier might end up serving as a connector. An influence that in other situations would tend to cause separation will in this case be likely to promote unity. Capitalize on this anomaly, Aries!

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): In my first dream last night, I gave you a holy book that you left out in the rain. In my second dream, I cooked you some chicken soup that you didn’t eat. My third dream was equally disturbing. I assigned you some homework that would have helped you discover important clues about tending to your emotional health. Alas, you didn’t do the homework. In the morning, I woke up from my dreams feeling exasperated and worried. But later I began to theorize that maybe they weren’t prophecies, but rather helpful warnings. Now that you’ve heard them, I’m hoping you will become alert to the gifts you’ve been ignoring and take advantage of the healing opportunities you’ve been neglecting.

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): There’s a good chance that your rhythm in the coming days will resemble a gentle, continuous orgasm. It won’t be stupendously ecstatic, mind you. I’m not predicting massive eruptions of honeyed bliss that keep blowing your mind. Rather, the experience will be more like a persistent flow of warm contentment. You’ll be constantly tuning in to a secret sweetness that thrills you subliminally. Again and again you will slip into a delicious feeling that everything is unfolding exactly as it should be. Warning! There are two factors that could possibly undermine this blessing: 1. if you scare it away with blasts of cynicism; 2. if you get greedy and try to force it to become bigger and stronger. So please don’t do those things!

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): Philosopher Jonathan Zap (zaporacle.com) provides the seed for this week’s meditation: “Conscious reflection on the past can deepen the soul and provide revelations of great value for the present and future. On the other hand, returning to the past obsessively out of emotional addiction can be a massive draining of vitality needed for full engagement with the present.” So which will it be, Cancerian? One way or another, you are likely to be pulled back toward the old days and the old ways. I’ll prefer it if you re-examine your history and extract useful lessons from the past instead of wallowing in dark nostalgia and getting lost in fruitless longing.

Leo
(July 23-August 22): Picture a TV satellite dish on the roof of a peasant’s shack in rural Honduras. Imagine a gripping rendition of Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” played on the mandolin. Visualize the Dalai Lama quoting Chris Rock a bit out of context but with humorous and dramatic effect. Got all that? Next, imagine that these three scenes are metaphors for your metaphysical assignment in the coming week. Need another hint? O.K. Think about how you can make sure that nothing gets lost in the dicey translations you’ll be responsible for making.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): Here are some ways to get more respect: 1. Do your best in every single thing you do—whether it’s communicating precisely or upholding the highest possible standards at your job or taking excellent care of yourself. 2. Maintain impeccable levels of integrity in everything you do—whether it’s being scrupulously honest or thoroughly fair-minded or fiercely kind. 3. On the other hand, don’t try so compulsively hard to do your best and cultivate integrity that you get self-conscious and obstruct the flow of your natural intelligence. 4. Make it your goal that no later than four years from now you will be doing what you love to do at least 51 percent of the time. 5. Give other people as much respect as you sincerely believe they deserve. 6. Give yourself more respect.

Virgo
(August 23-September 22): Want to submit a letter to the editor of a major newspaper? The odds of you getting published in the influential Washington Post are almost three times as great as in the super-influential New York Times. The Post has a much smaller circulation, so your thoughts there won’t have as wide an impact. But you will still be read by many people. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re in a phase when you should be quite content to shoot for a spot in the Post. Please apply that same principle to everything you do.

Libra
(September 23-October 22): According to the Asian spiritual traditions of Tantra and Taoism, it’s unhealthy for a man to have too many ejaculatory orgasms. Doing so depletes his vital energy, and can lead to depression and malaise. But medical researchers in the West have come to the exact opposite conclusion: The more climaxes men have, the better. According to them, frequent sex even promotes youthfulness and longevity. So who to believe? Here’s what I think: Every man should find out for himself by conducting his own experiments. As a general rule, I recommend the empirical approach for many other questions as well—and especially right now for Libran people of all genders. Rather than trusting anyone’s theories about anything, find out for yourself.

Scorpio
(October 23-November 21): The 19th century Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen was an iconoclast who relished exposing the hypocrisy and shallowness of conventional morality. While working on one of his plays, he kept a pet scorpion in an empty beer glass on his desk. “Now and again,” he testified, “when the creature was wilting, I would drop into the glass a piece of fruit, which it would seize upon in a frenzy and inject with its poison. It would then revive. Are not we poets like that?” Keep these details in mind during the coming weeks, Scorpio. You will probably have some venom that needs to be expelled. I hope you’ll do it like Ibsen writing his brilliantly scathing plays or the scorpion stinging some fruit.

Sagittarius
(November 22-December 21): “There is nothing more difficult for a truly creative painter than to paint a rose,” said French artist Henri Matisse, “because before he can do so he has first to forget all the roses that were ever painted.” I’d love to expand this principle so that it applies to everything you do in the coming week. Whatever adventures you seek, Sagittarius, prepare for them by forgetting all the adventures you have ever had. That way you will unleash the fullness of the fun and excitement you deserve.

Capricorn
(December 22-January 19): Where do you
belong? Not where you used to belong and not where you will belong in the future, but where do you belong right now? The answer to that question might have been murky lately, but the time is ripe to get clear. To identify your right and proper power spot, do these things: First, decide what experiences you will need in order to feel loved and nurtured between now and your birthday. Second, determine the two goals that are most important for you to accomplish between now and your birthday. And third, summon a specific vision of how you can best express your generosity between now and your birthday.

Aquarius
(January 20-February 18): Are you excited about your new detachable set of invisible wings? They’re ready. To get the full benefit of the freedom they make available, study these tips: 1. Don’t attach them to your feet or butt; they belong on your shoulders. 2. To preserve their sheen and functionality, avoid rolling in the muddy gutter while you’re wearing them. 3. Don’t use them just to show off. 4. It’s O.K. to fly around for sheer joy, though. 5. Never take them off in mid-flight.

Pisces
(February 19-March 20): You know that leap of faith you’re considering? Now would be
a good time to rehearse it, but not do it. How about that big experiment you’ve been
mulling over? Imagine in detail what it would be like to go ahead, but don’t actually go ahead. Here’s my third question, Pisces: Have you been thinking of making a major commitment? My advice is similar to the first two issues: Research all of its ramifications. Think deeply about how it would change your life. Maybe even formulate a prenuptial agreement or the equivalent. But don’t make a dramatic dive into foreverness. Not yet, at least. This is your time to practice, play, and pretend.

Aries
(March 21-April 19): For every trillion dollars the U.S. government spends on the military, it creates about 11,000 jobs. That same expenditure, if directed toward education, creates 27,000 jobs. Personally, I’d rather have the taxes I pay go to teachers than soldiers—especially in light of the fact that the U.S. spends almost as much money on its military as all the other nations in the world combined spend on theirs. I suggest that in the coming months you make a metaphorically similar move, Aries. Devote more of your time and energy and resources to learning, and less to fighting. Ironically, doing that will ultimately diminish the fighting you have to do. As you get more training and wisdom, you’ll become more skilled at avoiding unnecessary conflicts.

Taurus
(April 20-May 20): Now is an excellent time to cull, prune, and winnow. I urge you to look for opportunities to pare down and refine. On the other hand, don’t go too far. Be careful that you don’t truncate, desecrate, or annihilate. It’s not an easy assignment, Taurus. You will have to be skeptical about any temptation you might have to go overboard with your skepticism. You will have to be cautious not to allow your judicious discernment to devolve into destructive distrust.

Gemini
(May 21-June 20): Why did people start drinking coffee? Who figured out that roasting and boiling the bitter beans of a certain shrub produced a stimulating beverage? Historians don’t know for sure. One old tale proposes that a 9th-century Ethiopian shepherd discovered the secret. After his goats nibbled on the beans of the coffee bush, they danced and cavorted with unnatural vigor. I urge you to be as alert and watchful as that shepherd, Gemini. A new source of vibrant energy may soon be revealed to you, perhaps in an unexpected way.

Cancer
(June 21-July 22): “Hello Dear One: My name is Lorita. I am a beautiful heartfelt woman from Libya. I was browsing online through the long night when I came across your shiny dark power, and now I must tell you that I am quite sure you and I can circle together like sun and moon. It would give me great bliss for us to link up and make a tender story together. I await your reply so I can give you my secret sweetness.—Your Surprise Soulmate.” Dear Soulmate: Thank you for your warm inquiry. However, I must turn you down. Because I was born under the sign of Cancer the Crab, I have to be very careful to maintain proper boundaries; I can’t allow myself to be wide open to every extravagant invitation I get, especially from people I don’t know well. That’s especially true these days. We Crabs need to be extra discriminating about what influences we allow into our spheres.

Leo
(July 23-August 22): Questions and more questions! Will the monkey on your back jump off, at least for a while? Will the sign of the zodiac that you understand least become an X-factor in the unfolding plot? Will a cute distraction launch you on what seems to be a wild goose chase—until it leads you to a clue you didn’t even know you were looking for? Will a tryst in an unsacred space result in an odd boost to your long-term fortunes? The answers to riddles like these will be headed your way in the coming weeks. You’re at the beginning of a phase that will specialize in alluring twists and brain-teasing turns.