Same-sex couples have had the legal right to marry in Virginia since October 6, 2014. Several couples who wed in Charlottesville on that day came together a decade later to commemorate the anniversary where they celebrated all those years ago: Charlottesville Circuit Court.
“Ten years ago today, we unexpectedly found ourselves with the opportunity to get married after thinking about it for years,” said Catherine Gillespie at the gathering. She and her longtime partner, André Hakes, were together for 19 years before they could get married in Virginia and were at the courthouse that morning, ready to go the minute they got the go-ahead.
For each of the couples married in Charlottesville on October 6, 2014, finally being allowed to get legally married came as a surprise after the Supreme Court unexpectedly declined to hear an appeal challenging a Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals ruling that Virginia’s ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional.
Gillespie and Hakes were the first same-sex couple legally married in Charlottesville, and some claim in the entire state, having their ceremony minutes after the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals issued a mandate at 1pm. The ability to be married was not only a celebration of their love, but provided legal protections for their family.
“We had people come after our family and want to take [our son] away because of who we were,” said Gillespie. “To get a sense of security from a marriage license, which then allowed André to become an official parent, I mean, it was incredible.”
Reminiscing on the anniversary, four of the five same-sex couples who wed at the Circuit Court on that day in 2014, spoke about the important legal protection afforded by marriage.
Debra Guy and Meredith Wolnick also got married that afternoon, a bit later since their then-4-year-old daughter was taking a nap. For them, the ability to marry brought not only legal stability, but some appreciated simplicity.
“We still have the book of wills and medical directives that we had drawn up in 2010. Just the simple things that some folks who are married take for granted—signing a permission slip or taking [our daughter] to the doctor … that’s how at the practical level it changed our lives,” said Guy.
For longtime Clerk of Court Llezelle Dugger, the day brought not only the opportunity to fulfill her campaign promise of signing marriage licenses for same-sex couples as soon as legally possible, but an opportunity to celebrate friends’ relationships and legal protections. The only downside? She was too busy signing marriage certificates to be in any of her friends’ wedding photos taken in front of the courthouse.
Dugger recalls the clear blue skies on that day, as well as the celebrations around town. “Now, 10 years later, we celebrated. But you know what? It’s normal,” she says. “We don’t have the hoopla of October 6, 2014, but that’s excellent in and of itself.”
While same-sex couples are celebrating their right to marriage, Gillespie pointed out the need to continuously advocate for other members of the LGBTQ+ community.
“We use humor a lot in managing fears and frustrations, and one of the pieces of humor that we’ve used recently is that we’re old news. Gay couples, we got the right to marry 10 years ago,” said Gillespie. “I think the battle for the trans community right now is a battle for understanding, because if we can get to a place of understanding, then we can move away from fear. And if we can move away from fear, then maybe 20 years from now, politicians won’t be using them as a punching bag.”