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Albemarle County wants you

Summer is here, and with it comes a host of jobs offered by your local government.

    Maybe you want to switch careers, or maybe you just want to expose your teen to actual sunlight. Fortunately for eager job seekers, Albemarle County and Charlottesville have dozens of open positions for part- and full-time workers of every stripe.
    If your brand-new Hummer still leaves you feeling…inadequate, why not compensate by driving something even bigger? Luckily for you, the County is currently hiring school bus drivers! And you can even park your ginormous new vehicle right outside your home (a fact listed by the County as one of the benefits of the job). Imagine how impressed the neighbors will be with that bright-yellow beast nestled in front of your crib.
    And even if that country club you had your eye on still won’t let you in, your fantasies of torrid affairs with desperate housewives need not die. Why not be a tennis instructor for Charlottesville’s Recreation Department? The ladies do so love a tennis pro, don’t you know.
    Speaking of fantasies, here’s one for all of the masochists out there. Looks like the City’s Treasurer’s Office is seeking customer service representatives. (Extremely high tolerance for existential pain a must.)
    Still not sure what to do with your life? Don’t worry, neither are most high school students. And looky here! Western Albemarle High School needs a guidance director. At over $50K a year, this gig looks pretty sweet. Oh, hold on… it requires “considerable tact and diplomacy.”

Well, it looks like this writer, for one, won’t be switching jobs this season.

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