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Arts

Bowl-ing for dollars

“Top Design”
Wednesday 11pm, Bravo

First, let me just say: Did not see that coming. I’m referring to the finale of “Top Chef,” which precedes the debut of this new Bravo realty/talent competition. I had pegged either Sam or Elia as the winner pretty early on, and the fact that it’s Ilan vs. Marcel for the title is blowing my mind. I don’t like either of them, and if I can’t root for a winner, what’s the point? Anyway, following “Top Chef” you’ll have “Top Design,” which further burgles from the “Project Runway” format, this time focusing on the world of interior design. I’m not sure how exciting it’ll be to see people picking out chaise lounges or backstabbing each other for that last Tiffany sconce, but it’s probably worth at least one viewing. Based solely on snap judgments, I’m calling young and smug Michael and older and smug John as the people we’ll most likely come to love to hate.

“Super Bowl XLI”
Sunday 6:25pm, CBS

So, you know the drill: Indianapolis Colts, Chicago Bears, Peyton Manning’s got a bum thumb, blah blah blah. What you really care about are the commercials. This year expect a lot of viewer-generated commercials, which is kind of gross —average Joes are basically making millions for ad men doing approximately nothing. Web company GoDaddy has now had two different spots rejected for fear of offending the masses. And Fed-Ex, the Britney Spears sperm donor formerly known as K-Fed, has sparked the ire of fast food workers across the country for his insurance spot in which he dreams of being a music star rather than a lowly burger flipper. Sometimes I long for the days of beer-loving frogs. Prince handles the half-time show, and that’s pretty boss.

“Criminal Minds”
Sunday post-Super Bowl, CBS

The Beek! Is! Back! That’s right, Dawson Leery has been let out of cold storage for one night only, as James van der Beek guest stars on this surprisingly popular CBS procedural. Perhaps it’s the undeniable lure of Mandy “Battleship” Patinkin, but what should have been just another derivative criminal profiling show has actually been rivaling “Lost”’s ratings for most of the season. Seeing how past post-Super Bowl episodes have given major boosts to buzz shows like “Grey’s Anatomy,” CBS wisely signed up the surging sophomore series for a special episode featuring a Super Bowl party murder that somehow involves The Beek as “a troubled young man” (per the network). Great casting, since anyone who managed to sit through the entire run of “Dawson’s Creek” knows that if anybody’s got troubles, it’s The Beek.—

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