“American Idol”
Tuesday and Wednesday 8pm, FOX
All season long Ryan Sea-crest has pestered us about “Idol Gives Back,” the talent contest’s new charity program. Now it’s here. You know how distrustful you are of that really shallow friend who suddenly does something generous? Yeah, ditto here. I’m all for ending poverty in Africa and in the states, but there’s something slightly offensive about the most greedy show on TV telling me to “do my part” or whatever. On Tuesday, the Top 6 (bye, Sanjaya! You will be missed! Really!) sing inspirational songs; for every vote cast, “Idol” sponsors pony up bucks for the cause. On Wednesday, legitimate music stars join the fray, with Annie Lennox, Celine Dion, Gwen Stefani, Kelly Clarkson (!) and, oddly, Sacha Baron Cohen taking to the stage, plus a pairing Seacrest claims will “make pop music history.” Oh, please let it be Clay Aiken and his creepy doppelganger from last season…
“Shear Genius”
Wednesday 10pm, Bravo
Many reality contests have tried to fill “Project Runway”’s fashion-forward pumps. Some have been good (“Top Chef” is at least interesting), some have been bad (“Top Design” was a disaster). But Bravo has finally found a worthy successor in every way. “Shear Genius” features 12 hairstylists competing for prizes, a title—you know the drill. The contestants are engaging (one goes by Dr. Boogie, and he actually wears scrubs—I am kind of in love with him), the challenges fascinating, the results inventive and the judges awesome. Original “Angel” Jaclyn Smith is the host. Yeah, she’s slightly wooden, but she’s 59 years old. Fifty-nine! And she is fierce. Also: I know she’s supposed to be the “villain,” but go Tabatha!
“The Real Wedding Crashers”
Monday 10pm, NBC
So the creators of “Punk’d” have quit tormenting B-grade celebrities and instead turn their badgering skills on unsuspecting wedding guests. A group of “comedic” plants interrupt various real-life weddings and generally wreak havoc for your entertainment. For instance, a fake priest could take a phone call while reciting the vows, a parachuter could go out of control and land in the middle of a reception, etc. The couples getting married are apparently in on it, but if I was a guest I’d totally want my gift back. The whole thing reeks of shamelessness.