Categories
Living

End of an era

Felicia Warburg Rogan, founder of Oakencroft Vineyard and Winery, is one of a handful of people who can rightfully be said to have helped create the Virginia Wine industry. Oakencroft is not only the closest winery to Charlottesville, it is the oldest winery in Albemarle County, and Mrs. Rogan’s list of accomplishments is long: First chairman of the Virginia Wine Grape Growers Advisory Board, founder of the Jeffersonian Wine Grape Growers Society, and create the Monticello AVA. She has been a tireless promoter of Virginia Wines, even traveling, in 1988, as far away as Taiwan.


Big gulp: As hard as it is to believe, Oakencroft will be shutting its doors after 25 years. “I think we’ve been an icon,” founder Felicia Rogan says.

But now, after 25 years, Oakencroft is shutting its doors on December 31. As I talked with Mrs. Rogan about what those years have meant, she regularly drew my attention to the various waterfowl surrounding the lake, including a magnificent blue Heron and a gaggle of Chinese geese. She’d been up at 7:30 that morning to feed the geese, who, she said, ran after her like dogs. Oakencroft is one of the only wineries in the state that is an actual working farm, and there is something about the winery and its owner, some marriage of agriculture with high culture, that is to me quintessential Charlottesville.

C-VILLE: Why are you closing Oakencroft?

Felicia Warburg Rogan: Oakencroft is going to be closing because, as many people know, we’re the oldest winery in Charlottesville. We just celebrated our 25th anniversary, and as the Walrus said, “The time has come to talk of many things,” and many things includes a wonderful 25 years. …The winery has been very exciting, the most exciting part of my life.

Twenty five years ago there was probably quite a different wine culture here.

There wasn’t a wine culture here. I remember having lived in New York City, we drank wine regularly for dinner, and when I came down here, people said, “What would you like to drink?” and I’d say, “A glass of white wine.” It was as though I’d asked for Pernod or something. People were drinking hard liquor.

You must feel an enormous amount of pride about how far the industry has come.

I do, tremendous pride. I always visualized this area as the Napa Valley of the East.

In those 25 years you’ve seen wine become a big tourist draw for the state.

Oh, absolutely. It’s agri-tourism! That word didn’t exist when I moved here in ’76 and it’s a whole new way of tourism. Unfortunately, the economy is terrible and gas is awful, but here, why not just stay here in Virginia and do wine touring? I mean it’s just perfect. You could spend a whole summer just visiting the hundred wineries or so that we have here.

Do you feel that the reliance on tourism may hinder the quality of the wine at our wineries?

You mean to make an inferior wine because, in theory, anybody’s just gonna buy wine no matter what the quality?

That’s harsher than I would have put it.

But realistic. No. I don’t think that anybody has made a point of lowering their standards to meet the tourist trade. A lot of the tourists come because they’ve heard about the countryside and the wineries, and a lot of them don’t know much about wine, but I’ve always felt that it was our role to educate them, and in educating them you make the best quality wine that you can.

What do you think has been the most important element in Virginia wine gaining the respect it has?

I think it’s the dedication of the people who’ve put down roots here, who have made a great effort to study, which [we didn’t do] in the beginning, the kind of rootstock that’s necessary to plant, the site selection. There was nobody when we all started, we felt our way. And now everybody has the benefit of what we have learned. There are some very, very knowledgeable vineyard people, and of course winemakers. Every region is different. You can grow grapes probably almost anywhere, but you have to know the micro-climates and you have to know the elevation. I’ve always said this is a three-tier business: it’s agriculture, it’s the growing of the grapes; it’s the making of the wine, which is a very technical quality that you have to know; and then it’s marketing. You’re nothing if you don’t know how to market your product.

What’s the next step for Virginia wine?

I see the industry only growing in stature, in hiring people who are knowledgeable. A lot of the wineries in the beginning started with families, and there are still a lot of families, where the family does all the work. I must say they are probably financially the most successful. I mean, I don’t have any family who work here, and of course having a large staff with all the incumbent financial problems makes it very difficult to make any money. But small families who are willing to invest time and money and to find out where the best of everything is to make their winery positively financially successful—that’s where I see people learning more.

What will be missing from the Virginia Wine industry when Oakencroft is gone?

Well, I think we’ve been an icon, and I think we’ve gained the respect of the industry and the people I’ve had work for me everybody thinks very highly of. We’ve set a standard, and I think they’ll miss that standard—everything that I’ve tried to do, we’ve tried to do, with this lovely setting and making it appealing for people to come and sit and sip wine here. We’re not modern. There are many wineries that have all modern equipment and have chefs working there. I really wanted to keep it as a simple and beautiful farm winery. And that will be missed because I don’t know any wineries that are working farms in this area.

Who, beside yourself, would you list as the giants of Virginia wine?

Oh well, Gabriele Rausse without any question. He comes to mind immediately. And Mrs. Furness who had the Piedmont Winery in Northern Virginia. She was one of the first to plant Vinifera vines. Extraordinary lady. The winery has been sold and now a German couple own it. But she proved to people that Vinifera could be grown here. I think those two, though there are a lot of other people who started at the time I did. And there’s certainly people in the restaurant business who were bold enough to put Virginia wines on their list. I certainly would like to see, in the future, certainly in the state of Virginia, but just locally in Albemarle County, more variety of Virginia wines on the menus in restaurants rather than so many different ones. I think the restaurants could do more to promote Virginia wines. They haven’t quite done it yet.

Any last words?

Sounds like my epitaph.

I didn’t mean it that way!

I’ve been so fortunate to be able to do this. It has been a dream come true, and my sadness is that so many of the people that have brought it to fruition are going to have to leave because of my closing it.

The seeds you’ve sown…

Yes. Will grow further from the roots. There’s no question about it.

Categories
News

We Are Star Children

We Are Star Children sounds like it’s from the ’80s. That statement could refer to an embrace of the decade’s frequent gaudiness, from Cyndi Lauper and other girls who just want to have fun to Men With Hats’ synthy bounce for safety. Or it could point towards the less pop-indulgent sounds of post-punk groups of the same period. It could even be touching on a more abstract youthful whimsy bubbling to the surface in those who came of age in the era of Pac-Man, Reagan and MTV. With Straight Punch to the Crotch’s debut album, all of the above applies.

Listen to "When Animals Attack" from Straight Punch to the Crotch‘s We Are Star Children:


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Courtesy of Straight Punch to the Crotch – Thank you!

The local quintet is a fun-loving band, and Star Children picks up the carefree pop approach that seems to have dropped from the mainstream since the wave of seriousness brought on by ’90s grunge and gangsta rap. Tracks like “Robot Baby” and “Take Off All Your Clothes” simultaneously stick out their tongues and plant them firmly in their cheeks. Straight Punch steers clear of excessive cheese, but they realize getting a little goofy is better than leaning solely on angst, pining and heartbreak for inspiration.

Balanced against the comical slant that their name implies, Straight Punch also draws on a deeper stream of ’80s rock influences. “Summer Sun and Firecrackers,” a timely summer anthem, has the drive and jangly echo of the Bunnymen and R.E.M. The keyboard hooks and inflected vocals on songs like “When Animals Attack” and “Murder” recall the sonic wit of British rockers Felt and celebratory spazz of Talking Heads. The album even seeps a sensuality reminiscent of Prince, but hopefully not enough that he’ll try to sue them for it.


Hitting hard: Straight Punch to the Crotch delivers an impressive first blow with We Are Star Children.

Straight Punch is not stuck in the past or following some retro fad, though. The band keeps things fresh and new by riding a series of careful lines. Humor is delivered with a straight face. Cuteness is coupled with stories of methamphetamine and murder. Eighties-style flamboyance is held up with the period’s positive pop innovations. We Are Star Children, at nine songs, is a remarkably tight and composed effort. Of course, it’s impossible to capture flame-shooting keytars and a musical mannequin on a CD, so even though you should snag this album as soon as possible, a live show is a necessary part of getting the full impact of Straight Punch to the Crotch.

Straight Punch to the Crotch will perform during Charlottesville Lady Arm Wrestlers’ match at Blue Moon Diner on June 10 and will celebrate the release of We Are Star Children with a show at Zinc on June 21.

Categories
News

Next big water question: Why dredge?

When county Supervisor Sally Thomas met with dredging consultants Gahagan & Bryant Associates last month about the possibilities of dredging the South Fork Rivanna Reservoir, they said the first question to answer was, Why are you dredging?

“That’s a very obvious sort of thing, and yet it was also kind of eye-opening,” says Thomas. “Ever since then, I’ve been using it as a mantra. We’ve got to know why we’re dredging before we go into this dredging business.”


The South Fork Rivanna Reservoir is losing about 1 percent of its capacity per year because of siltation.

Now that City Council has reaffirmed its support of the 50-year water supply plan, which involves involving a bigger dam at the Ragged Mountain Reservoir and a new pipeline from the South Fork Rivanna Reservoir, local officials face a decision about maintenance dredging the South Fork Reservoir. Because of its large, 259-acre watershed, that reservoir has been silting in rapidly since it was created in 1966, at a rate of approximately 1 percent per year. It has never been dredged.

Dredging means sucking out that silt, but the process is complicated because there has to be a site to dewater and store the sediment, which could be resold depending on its contents and the market for fill material. Those uncertainties have complicated cost estimates. Possible reasons for dredging include expanding its capacity for potable water storage; clearing out lanes for rowing and other recreational activities like fishing; and preventing potentially smelly wetlands from building up and decreasing property values for those who live around the reservoir.

As part of its resolution reaffirming the water supply plan last week, City Council included a call for the Rivanna Water and Sewer Authority (RWSA) to “undertake a study of the South Fork Rivanna Reservoir and the viability and merits of maintenance dredging, siltation prevention and any other appropriate initiatives” that would improve the reservoir, and asked that the county do the same. At the supervisors’ June 4 meeting, the Board kicked around the idea of adopting the same resolution about dredging passed by City Council, and will likely approve similar language at its June 11 meeting.

Mike Gaffney, chairman of the RWSA board, says that the organization’s No. 1 goal is to provide water and wastewater services to the city and county. “This is a little bit outside of that goal, but our two customers and their customers pay for everything we do,” says Gaffney. “So if they asked us to do [dredging studies], we’d certainly want to do that. We truly are committed to the long-term viability of South Fork Rivanna Reservoir and certainly maintenance dredging should be a part of that.” He says that RWSA will need direction from the county, but that the topic will likely be discussed at the Board’s June 23 meeting.

To answer the “why” question, Thomas envisions a meeting of major stakeholders—South Fork residents, RWSA, the county Parks & Rec Department, rowing clubs, the Ivy Creek Natural Area, and other city and county officials. “I’m not in favor of a great, long, dragged-out taskforce,” Thomas says, “but I tend to think in terms of a visioning session or two in which we all lay it on the table why we want dredging.”

Ken Boyd, chairman of the Board of Supervisors, plans to meet with city Mayor Dave Norris to figure out how to move forward. Norris wants RWSA to go ahead with a sediment study of the South Fork, which would cost at least $100,000, as soon as possible. He believes that conversations about why we should dredge happen concurrently rather than holding up the study.

Norris also thinks that dredging could make for a lower dam at Ragged Mountain. “If in that [dredging] process, we’re going to free up, even inadvertently, some water supply, then I think we have an opportunity there to save some money on the height of the dam and save some trees and acreage [at Ragged Mountain].”

But Tom Frederick, RWSA’s executive director, says that the final decision of the dam’s height needs to be made in the coming months. Consulting firm Gannett Fleming is in the midst of designing the base of the new dam, but “there will come a point in the coming months where we have to complete the design and put the project out to bids,” says Frederick. “What is the height we’re actually going to build? At this point, we haven’t been given any direction other than to build it to the full height.”


“I’m not in favor of a great, long, dragged-out taskforce,” says Supervisor Sally Thomas, “but I tend to think in terms of a visioning session or two in which we all lay it on the table why we want dredging.”

One big question looming on the horizon is who pays for dredging. RWSA is funded by ratepayers—water users in the city and county—and it makes sense for them to foot the bill if it’s only a question of providing adequate water supply. But if key drivers to dredge include recreation or county property values, then part of the bill could go to area taxpayers.

“I’m not sure that the bill for maintenance dredging should be paid through the water rates,” Gaffney says. “I think that may need to be paid through something else. But again, that’s part of the discussion that we need to have.”

C-VILLE welcomes news tips from readers. Send them to news@c-ville.com.

Categories
News

Council picks interchange for MCP

As growth extends throughout the city and county, the roads around and through Charlottesville have become ever more crowded. To alleviate some of the congestion, area officials have moved forward with two controversial projects, the Meadowcreek Parkway (MCP) and Eastern Connector. Both would pass through a city park—McIntire and Pen parks, respectively.

City Council held a June 4 work session on the intersection for the Meadowcreek Parkway (MCP). After failing to approve the roundabout design ratified by the Interchange steering committee, Council chose a smaller diamond intersection and directed the engineering team to refine that option. The work session came two days after a 3-2 Council vote to grant an easement for city-owned land in the county for parkway construction. Almost five acres will be permanently used for the road, while another 3.7 acres will be temporarily held during the project’s construction.


A steering committee has picked an alignment through Pen Park for the proposed four-lane Eastern Connector.

Previous C-VILLE coverage:

Council stops interchange dead in its tracks
School Board likely to give away fields for parkway

Eastern connector limps along
Better numbers to be gathered

Agency says MCP needs another look
DHR: Environmental assessment may not go far enough

Pick one: public gets a look at last two interchange designs
A vocal opposition shows up at the MCP public hearing

Council makes final step towards MCP
Norris forced to choose between principle and pragmatism

Meadowcreek Parkway to-do list in city
Council approves two designs for 250 interchange

MCP may have future legal problems
Parkway project’s segmentation could be illegal

Commission approves MCP interchange
Commissioner Lucy frustrated with final review

Parkway interchange design gets support
Committee likes roundabout design as new city gateway

State funding problems affect local roads
Meadowcreek Parkway could be stalled

County approves road priorities
Meadowcreek Parkway tops the list

The narrow vote has led Stratton Salidis, longstanding opponent of the Parkway, to question its validity under the state constitution. He believes that the vote required a “supermajority,” three-fourths of Council, for approval.

In 2004, the state attorney general ruled that a “supermajority” was not necessary to put a nine-acre stretch of McIntire Park in temporary easement. The most recent vote, however, concerned a permanent easement and involves a different parcel, so the requirement of a higher consensus could apply.

Meanwhile, the Eastern Connector Steering Committee recently decided to move forward with a plan for a four-lane connection between Rio Road and Route 20, but over the objections of Committee member and former city councilor Kevin Lynch.

“I don’t want to see four lanes used as a reason to not build the Eastern Connector,” he says. From his vantage, the decision ignores a political reality that will mean the road’s defeat. Instead, Lynch has proposed a two-lane alternative that would still cut through Pen Park but along an access road that already exists.

Various residents of the area, most notably Sarah Hendley, have already mounted opposition to the connector because it goes through Pen Park. Lynch believes that the access road route would minimize the impact.

“It’s the least bad alternative,” he says. “That’s what we’re down to.” The city and county will not be presented with the steering committee’s recommendations until this fall at the earliest.

C-VILLE welcomes news tips from readers. Send them to news@c-ville.com.

Categories
News

Your tax dollars, at work


Diane Behrens


Worked for the county for:
33 years

Resides in: Greene County

Job title: Executive director of support Services for Albemarle County Public Schools. Oversees building services, which includes maintenance and upkeep of building and planning for redistricting and new additions and buildings. Also oversees child nutrition programs, school athletic directors and school nurses.

Best of times: Seeing a project come to completion. “For instance, when we have a brand new building or a new addition that’s finished, and you see people excited to be in that building. Cale Elementary is an example. Last August, we opened a new addition to Cale and students were excited to be in their new classrooms.”

Worst of times: Making safety decisions —such as whether to close schools for inclement weather. “You always wonder whether or not you’ve made the right decision.”

Strangest moment on the job: “I guess when you think you know all the answers, some new question pops up, and you think ‘I thought I’ve heard everything, but I really haven’t.’ There have been some strange questions I’ve had to answer.”

If she were a superhero, she’d be: Indiana Jones. “I’d like to be known for having grace under fire, being graceful under the heat and pressure.”
C-VILLE welcomes news tips from readers. Send them to news@c-ville.com.

Categories
The Editor's Desk

Pillow talk

I’d like to know what wine or beer paired best with that “feathery pillow” of a hamburger [We Ate Here, May 27, 2008], or is it perhaps best downed with lots and lots of water? And velvety as well, was it? Personally, I like my hamburgers meaty. Gr-r-r-r.
 
Steve Murphy
Charlottesville

Bare essential

So Hope Community Center closed [“Homeless shelter closes—new hope on the way?” Government News, May 27, 2008]. I had hope for a while when I heard that it may remain open. It’s about time our “greatest place to live” started taking care of our own instead of letting “someone else” (whatever that means) do it for us. Like most people, for nearly my entire adult life, I live one paycheck away from homelessness. If I lose my job, I’ll be sharing some sidewalk with the rest of them after I sell my car. Or couch-surfing. Who knows where I’ll shower so I can stay presentable at work, so I can save enough to put a roof over my head? Eventually. Rent here is expensive enough… A mortgage? Not anytime soon. Not here. Oh yeah, side note: Homelessness does not always equal joblessness.

So a Good Samaritan (Pastor Josh Bare) stepped up and sought to solve this dilemma, giving those without a roof over their heads somewhere to sleep. It’s hard to live day to day with the stress of where to work, finding food, raising kids, when you don’t have a place to sleep. But the voices were raised: “Zoning ordinances!” “What about our property values?” You have got to be kidding me… People are more concerned about the value of their homes over where a person sleeps for a night. This makes Charlottesville a “desirable community”??? Stop the ride, I want to get off.

It’s always someone else’s job. And now it’s not even Josh’s place to help solve the problem. We can’t work with the zoning ordinance. We can’t see with new eyes the value in lives around us because they don’t live like us…even if we may end up like them one day. But that could never happen, right?
 
Sara E. Lian
Charlottesville

Good blood

Thank you for your article “JABA plays bigger part in housing game” [Development News] in the June 3 issue of C-VILLE Weekly. I would like to correct an inaccurate point made in the article when referring to the opposition of the Fry’s Spring Neighborhood Association to the development of the Hill & Center property. Our opposition had nothing to do with JABA’s involvement in the project (although the amount of their actual involvement was unclear) or “bad blood” with the project’s lead developer. In fact, our opposition was based on substantial points including traffic, parking and environmental issues related to developing on such a steep-slope. City planning staff also recognized this project’s flaws and recommended against its approval (their report is linked-to from the website edition of your story).

The demographics of the Fry’s Spring Neighborhood are such that we are very sympathetic to the admirable goals of JABA and we look forward to opportunities for working with them to help realize their mission to “preserve sustainable communities for healthy aging that benefit individuals and families of all ages”.
 
Peter Hedlund
President, Fry’s Spring Neighborhood
Association

Categories
Arts

Movies playing in town

Movies playing in town

Baby Mama (PG-13, 96 minutes) Tina Fey (“Saturday Night Live”) goes for big screen fame, starring as a workaholic single businesswoman who decides it’s time to have it all and spawn a kid. Sadly, her uterus isn’t in on the plan, and she’s forced to hire a surrogate mother in the form of white trash breeder Amy Poehler (also of “SNL”). Cross-cultural hijinks ensue. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (PG, 140 minutes) The Pevensie kids return to the magical land of Narnia, only to find that 1,000 years have passed since their last visit, leaving Narnia a far different place than it was before. Wouldn’t you know it, an evil general has taken over the land and it’s up to our pubescent crew to restore the true heir, tousle-haired hunk Prince Caspian (Stardust’s Ben Barnes), to the throne. Playing at Regal Seminole Square 4

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (R, 111 minutes) Up-and-comer Jason Segel (Knocked Up, “How I Met Your Mother”) pens and stars in this latest anti-romantic comedy addition to the increasingly large Judd Apatow canon. Segel plays a sad sack musician whose TV star girlfriend (TV star Kristen Bell) breaks up with him. In an attempt to get over it, he jets off to a resort in Hawaii, only to run smack dab into the ex and her new, clueless rock star boyfriend. There’s a fair amount of raunch here, but a decent amount of sentiment as well, placing it well above Drillbit Taylor, but slightly below Superbad. Playing at Regal Seminole Square 4

The Happening (R, 91 minutes) For better or worse, M. Night Shyamalan (The Village, Lady in the Water and, so long ago, The Sixth Sense) is back with an R-rated environmental horror film. Mark Wahlberg is the head of a family who tries to survive a bizarre global crisis, which has all of humanity going nuts and committing mass suicide. At least the script is more of a straightforward thriller, far less twisty than Shyamalan’s gimmicky previous works. Opening Friday

The Incredible Hulk (PG-13, 114 minutes) Forget that last angst-filled Ang Lee outing. The green goliath gets a reboot with lots more action and Edward Norton in the lead role. This version combines the original comic book with the old TV series, casting Dr. Banner as a wandering outcast hunted by the government—that is, until they need him to help rid New York City of mad Russian mercenary-turned-monster The Abomination (Tim Roth, another fine casting choice). Opening Friday

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (PG-13, 120 minutes) It’s been a few years since the last adventure—for us as well as for Indy. It’s now the ’50s and our aging adventurer is called upon to engage in one last globe-hopping trek. Teaming up with a James Dean wannabe (Shia LaBeouf) and his ex-girlfriend Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), Indy travels to South America to foil an evil Soviet plot. Seems the Russkies are trying to get their hands on a mysterious collection of ancient crystal skulls that might (possibly, maybe, who knows?) hold proof of extraterrestrial life. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

Iron Man (PG-13, 126 minutes) Marvel Comics brings another superhero to life. Robert Downey Jr. headlines as billionaire playboy Tony Stark, a military industrialist who is kidnapped by Middle Eastern terrorists and forced to build an armored suit after a life-threatening incident. Escaping his captors, he decides to use this new technology to fight evil as the invincible Iron Man. Terrence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeff Bridges help round out the cast. Playing at Regal Seminole Square 4

Kung Fu Panda (PG) Jack Black provides the voice for a CGI panda whose lazy ways must be reformed when his peaceful valley is invaded by the forces of evil. To help fulfill his destiny, our chubby, reluctant hero is trained by a group of animalistic martial arts masters (among them: Jackie Chan, Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu and Dustin Hoffman). Playing at Regal  Seminole Square 4

Made of Honor (PG-13, 101 minutes) Patrick Dempsey (Dr. McDreamy himself) headlines this unapologetically chick-flicky rom-com. He plays Tom, a serial dater who decides one day that he’s in love with his best friend, marriage-minded Hannah (Michelle Monaghan). Unfortunately, she chooses that moment to announce that she’s engaged to some Scottish chap and wants Tom to act as her maid of honor. He accepts, with the hope that he can break up the wedding before it happens. Original? No. Fun? Maybe, if you’ve never seen When Harry Met SallyPlaying at Regal Downtown Mall 6

My Blueberry Nights (PG-13, 90 minutes) Renowned Chinese director Wong Kar-wai’s latest is an unlikely romance starring otherworldly beauties—among them, Jude Law, Rachel Weisz, Norah Jones and Natalie Portman. Playing at Vinegar Hill Theatre

Sex and the City (R, 135 minutes) Four years after the popular TV series went off the air, “Sex and the City” returns as a feature film. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon are all back dressing in outrageous outfits and discussing their sex lives over cocktails. How did we ever get along without this? Seriously, this one’s for fans only. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

Son of Rambow (PG-13, 96 minutes) Reviewed here. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

Speed Racer (PG, 129 minutes) The Wachowski brothers throw every visual trick in the book into this live-action adaptation of the classic Japanese cartoon. The result is a 10,000 RPM action movie that’s somehow more cartoony than an actual cartoon. Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild) is our boy Speed, a futuristic race car driver who dreams of winning the legendary cross-country rally that claimed the life of his older brother. John Goodman and Susan Sarandon are along for the ride as Mom and Pops Racer, and Christina Ricci offers support as Speed’s loyal g.f. Trixie. It’s probably too over-the-top for many audiences, but—if you can get into the proper 8-year-old mindset—this is pure techno-bliss.. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

The Strangers (R, 107 minutes) Milking the phoney “based on a true story” line for the umpteenth time in horror movie history, newby writer/director Bryan Bertino presents an atmosphere-soaked thriller about a couple (Scott Speedman, Liv Tyler) staying at an isolated vacation home who are terrorized by three random, mask-wearing assailants. This one’s all slow-building tension, so don’t go expecting a whole lot of plot. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

Then She Found Me (R, 100 minutes) Actress Helen Hunt directs this dramedy about a New York schoolteacher (Hunt) who hits a midlife crisis when her husband leaves her, her adoptive mother dies and her biological mom pops up out of the blue. This old-fashioned indie “women’s pic” ocassionally teeters between realistic and drab, but Bette Midler enlivens things quite a bit as Hunt’s real mother, an outspoken TV talk show host. Playing at Vinegar Hill Theatre

What Happens in Vegas (PG-13, 99 minutes) Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher play a couple of Sin City revelers who wake up after a night of debauchery to find out they took part in a drunken marriage ceremony. A quickie divorce is in the offing–that is until the newlyweds discover that they also won a fortune playing a slot machine. Naturally, they do their utmost to make each other’s life hell in order to get their hands on that money. Naturally, they find time to fall in love over the course of the film. Screenwriter Dana Fox adds a touch of War of the Roses to her previous rom-com The Wedding Date and calls it a day. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

You Don’t Mess With the Zohan (PG-13) Adam Sandler is a deadly Israeli Mossad agent who fakes his own death so he can re-emerge in New York City and live out his dream of becoming the world’s greatest hair stylist. Ooooh-kay. Bottom line: You’d better love Adam Sandler movies (goofy voices, sappy love stories, stupid Rob Schneider cameos and all) to put this one on your list. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

Young@Heart (PG, 107 minutes) With a repertoire of cover tunes borrowed from the likes of The Ramones, Talking Heads, Jimi Hendrix, James Brown, David Bowie, OutKast and others, it’s strange that a chorus comprising senior citizens could ever be mustered to sing them. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

Categories
News

Be glad Virginia doesn’t…

More:

Virginia: the scorecard
From cost of living to number of strip clubs—how our state ranks with the other 49

In case you’re starting to think that 28th in tornado fatalities is just too high for you, consider the following other things that you don’t have to worry about in Virginia. We promise you’ll fly your state flag higher and sing “Carry Me Back to Old Virginny” a little louder knowing Virginia doesn’t…

1. Border Canada

Think of all those Canucks pouring into New York and Pennsylvania and Michigan and Montana, taking all of the high-paying, white-collar jobs from the English-speaking citizens, confusing everyone with their “eh” this and “eh” that and trying to get the locals to watch hockey. It’s a real problem, people. Thank your lucky stars we’re well below the Mason-Dixon line.

2. Put its trash in other people’s landfills

We deal with our own garbage and some other states’ too, thank you very much.

3. Prohibit the sale of beer and wine in grocery stores   

Good grief, it’s bad enough you have to go to Whole Foods for part of your list, the City Market for another, CVS for some toiletries and Kroger for your processed foods, can you imagine also having to schlep to the state liquor store for your wine and then to a “licensed beer distributor” for beer? That’s what Pennsylvanians have to do.

4. Allow kids to get thrown around in their cars

When we were kids, we rode footloose and fancy-free in the back of the hatchback, with nary a seatbelt to tie us down. But our parents were stupid. By now, we all know that children as old as 8 need to be in a booster seat to protect their little bodies from serious impact in a crash. Well, most of us know. Apparently, Arizona, Alaska, Mississippi, Ohio, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas and don’t. None of those states has a booster seat law.

5. Harbor the brown recluse spider

Be very afraid if you visit Arkansas, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma or Texas. That’s where this poisonous spider hides out in dark corners just waiting for you to put on a pair of shoes you haven’t worn in three years or roll over in bed on it and (eek!) surprise the hell out of it. That’s when this eight-legged menace takes a bite and releases its toxic venom. Symptoms range from nasty lesions to organ damage in severe cases!


Smile, you’re in California: Could Virginians deal with a governor who was a former action- movie actor, like Arnold Schwarzenegger?

6. Have a closet homosexual, adulterer, prostitute-ring client or former action-movie actor for a governor

Virginia isn’t the butt of any lame jokes regarding the governor’s office, at least not at the moment.

7. Allow the taking home and eating of road kill

Come on, West Virginia. Were there not enough jokes about your lack of teeth and abundance of incest for your marketing department to deal with?

8. Prohibit cell phone use while driving

Perhaps we owe the “best state for business” ranking to this insightful lack of prohibition. If we didn’t conduct “business” in our cars, how the hell would we get anything done? We predict the productivity of California, Connecticut, New Jersey, New York and Washington plummets now that their legislature has passed this prohibition. While their citizens have both hands on the wheel, we’re going to be chattin’ it up and making deals en route to kicking some serious business butt.

Categories
Arts

The C-VILLE Minute! [video]

Brendan Fitzgerald also writes Curtain Calls, C-VILLE’s weekly arts column. Read this week’s column here.

War on Drugs Won

Don’t expect to find any pot around here for a long, long time. According to The Daily Progress, a Scottsville woman pleaded guilty to growing more than 50 marijuana plants.

In what has to be the most over-reaching quote ever from a U.S. District Attorney, Julia C. Dudley said in a statement, “By stopping those individuals who grow illegal drugs, we are cutting off the distribution of drugs at the source.”

Now we know. The source of pot is a woman in her 40s growing about 50 plants in Scottsville. One Scottsville woman down, about one million cartels to go.

By the way, the 46-year-old woman faces a maximum of 20 years in federal prison and a $1 million fine.