A fairy-tale ending
I find myself perusing wedding blogs and Pinterest more than I should for someone who isn’t even engaged, looking at all the pretty pictures of tablescapes, place settings, flower arrangements, and decorative lighting, and daydreaming about what I would do for my future wedding. And, sometimes when I’m feeling supergiddy and girly (and my boyfriend isn’t in the room), I even pin these images to my secret Pinterest “wedding” board, which makes me cringe to admit.
My wedding board has engagement rings with black diamonds, rough-cut diamonds, vintage blue sapphires, golden yellow sapphires, and pink-hued tourmaline stones. I also pin wedding dresses. My current favorite, an $850 knee-length off-white dress with long lace sleeves by BHLDN. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been bitten by the bride bug. I’m also a huge fan of the TV shows “Say Yes To The Dress,” “Four Weddings,” and “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding,” and have been known to waste my weekend mornings getting sucked into these superficial, scripted shows.
I find myself not admiring these women or remotely even liking their dresses or wedding decisions, but instead judging and making fun of them. TV’s “Bridezilla” personification has sucked me in, spat me out, and given me the impression that that kind of bride isn’t the kind of woman I want to be.
The more and more I look at the Internet and watch these TV shows, the more and more I see how competitive it is for women to have the best wedding, the most unique wedding, the most inspirational wedding. And having that wedding means doing something totally different and personal that hasn’t been seen before. Having the cookie-cutter hotel ballroom wedding with the white strapless princess gown and the roses is so over, and, honestly, ugly. My generation of brides has high standards and really good taste—and a tool called the Internet, which keeps us very informed.
In late June, Dunham’s friend Michaela Tighe Muttom, and her husband Lloyd Muttom, were married at former president James Monroe’s historic home Ash Lawn-Highland with a picturesque ceremony and reception and about 150 guests in attendance. “It’s a really sweet setting with pretty mountain views and the house is not grandiose. It’s small and pretty,” said Muttom. “It’s not like a super fancy location, but it’s definitely beautiful.”
Muttom and her husband got engaged last September and started looking at wedding venues right away. They knew off the bat that they wanted to get married in Charlottesville because they met and live in town, and Michaela’s family and both their friends live in the D.C. area. It was also a no-brainer to get married in town so they could easily plan their wedding.
“We did a little bit of research,” she said. “It’s very much like apples to oranges for wedding venues—different prices, but different things are included. You have to decide if you can come up with absolutes of what you want. That’s a priority.”
The Muttoms shopped around for venues. They wanted an outdoor wedding but didn’t want the typical Charlottesville winery setting, so they ended up deciding on Ash Lawn. The historic property had the flexibility to let the couple pick and choose vendors. They were able to bring in their own caterers, using Harvest Moon and Milan Indian Cuisine. Lloyd is from India and they wanted to have American and Indian food for both their families. “The food was really important to us,” she said. The couple also didn’t want to have to rent a tent; Ash Lawn just happens to have a beautiful pavilion for receptions.
When you plan a wedding in Charlottesville, it is guaranteed to be stunning because of the gorgeous backdrop as well as the level of experience of wedding professionals like Shawn Marie Cossette. Cossette runs Beehive Events with her husband, and owns Fat Cat Farm, a small Scottsville farm where they throw weddings. “We are all about the look of the event,” said Cossette, who has been in the floral industry for 25 years. While also growing and arranging flowers, Cossette acts as a wedding designer, putting together the look of a wedding with chairs, tables, lounge furniture, fabrics, and decorative lighting.
Cossette’s work is well-known not just in Charlottesville, but nationally. Martha Stewart Weddings magazine recently featured a wedding at her farm for a local couple. And, Martha Stewart also featured Cossette as a florist in her “meet the expert” column, which was published last year.
It’s interesting though. When chatting with Cossette, she, like many of the other wedding professionals in town, mentioned that most of her clients aren’t local. The brides that she is dealing with aren’t living in Central Virginia like Muttom, Dunham, Yeamans, Elton, or Rogers. She works with brides who have bigger budgets from places like Northern Virginia, D.C., and even New York City.
“The idea of having a destination wedding is growing among our brides, and it goes hand in hand with the fact that most people no longer live where they grew up,” said Carley Roney, cofounder of XO Group Inc. “When family is spread all over the country, a destination wedding is the perfect way to bring everyone together.”
I like the idea of having a wedding—throwing a big party with my family and close friends—but I want my wedding to be about my partner and me. It’s not about frivolous details that quickly add up. It’s not about getting your beautifully photographed wedding on the top wedding blog. It’s not about the couture gown. And, it’s certainly not priceless, pricewise.
On my wedding day I want my mom to bless me with her wedding bands. I want her to help me with my hair and makeup and zip up my wedding dress. I want to have my first dance with my dad. I want to walk down the aisle, arm in arm, with my dad and see my soulmate facing me and smile and know that this is it—this is priceless.