Just when it was beginning to look like 2015 would not have a better choice for worst movie than The Boy Next Door, along comes the over-plotted, under-conceived and thoroughly charming Vin Diesel vehicle The Last Witch Hunter. Although the negative reviews are sure to be somewhat accurate—Diesel’s performance is too smirky and wooden to be believable in the role, the action sequences are often over edited and disorienting and the plot suffers from a terminal case of who-gives-a-shit—it is still a rare pleasure to take in what is little more than a B movie with far too much money.
Diesel, credited as a producer and no doubt the driving force behind its creation, clearly thinks this brand of fantasy is the coolest thing ever, and letting him do his thing is a breath of fresh air in a genre bloated with tiresome, repetitive epics.
Directed by Breck Eisner, a specialist in the likable/forgettable space (Sahara, 2005’s The Crazies remake), The Last Witch Hunter rightfully rests on the charm of its stars and atmosphere because it knows the limitations of its narrative, which is less of a story and more of a series of visual cues that it wants you to remember for when there’s a twist. Diesel plays Kauldur, a witch hunter in New York City who was cursed with immortality 800 years ago while battling the Witch Queen. Since that fateful confrontation, Kauldur has been tasked with enforcing the peace between witches and humanity with the assistance of a series of Dolans (Michael Caine, who quickly retires and passes his duties to Elijah Wood). Kauldur soon faces his greatest foe, for which he teams up with the law-abiding yet powerful witch Chloe (Rose Leslie from “Game of Thrones”).
It’s the story of a pretty good but not great video game, and it’s no wonder that there are more than a few stylistic similarities between the film and the massively successful game series The Witcher. But this is Diesel’s bread and butter; a noted fan of Dungeons & Dragons and a creator of his own game studio specifically for tie-ins with his movies, his enthusiasm for the material is as infectious as that of a kid in Legoland.
Diesel is a better actor than he gets credit for (Boiler Room, his little-seen directorial debut Multi-Facial), but one with nothing left to prove, so The Last Witch Hunter is his chance to have a good time and share the stuff he thinks is cool. While he spends his time slaying monsters and speaking in arcane riddles, the supporting cast does most of the heavy lifting. Several key dramatic moments revolve around Diesel staring off into the distance, sitting next to Leslie, Caine or Wood, as they provide the emotion required to carry the scene. It’s silly and repetitive, but it works in its own way.
Perhaps more than anything else released this year, The Last Witch Hunter clarifies the difference between personally liking a movie and considering it good. Full of contagious good vibes and enthusiasm, The Last Witch Hunter is the cinematic equivalent of listening to a cheesy, unfunny joke that makes its teller laugh so hard that it becomes hilarious.
Playing this week
Bridge of Spies
Crimson Peak
Goosebumps
Hotel Transylvania 2
Jem and the Holograms
The Martian
Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
Pan
Rock the Kasbah
Sicario
Steve Jobs
Woodlawn
Regal Stonefield 14 and IMAX
244-3213
