You know that when we say 10 feet or less, we really mean 10 feet or less
The truck-eating bridge on the Corner has dispatched 15 trucks since the beginning of 2019, according to CBS19 meteorologist and dedicated truck-tracker Travis Koshko. You’d think the drivers would learn, but they never do: Like clockwork, delivery after delivery gets disrupted when the unassuming bridge scrapes the top three inches off of yet another vehicle. You gotta be trucking kidding me!
You can’t afford to live here
Charlottesville doesn’t have enough housing stock for everyone who wants to live here, and the price of houses is rising as a result. 2020’s fourth quarter saw the area’s median home sales price increase 13 percent from the same period during the previous year, according to the Charlottesville Area Association of Realtors. The city has recently begun to take steps to remedy the situation, like refurbishing and expanding multiple public housing complexes, but there’s still lots of work to be done.
You have strong opinions about the scooters
Are they the future of personal mobility, an exciting harbinger of a greener and more cost-effective future? Or are they dangerous irritants that make driving a headache and our sidewalks impassable? We’ve got no official stance, but we bet you do.
You want to flee for a weekend getaway during UVA graduation
It’s bad enough that the students choking the roads nine months of the year, but parents and siblings and grandparents too? Forget about it. Memorial Day weekend is all well and good, but around here, the best time to get out of Dodge is the weekend before.
You’ve watched a City Council meeting to the bitter end
Charlottesville’s City Council has plenty on its plate, and its meetings often run into the wee hours of the morning. But this is a city that cares about its future and cares about its government, and twice a month legislators and activists and community members pour themselves a cup of joe at 6:30pm and settle in for three to six hours of municipal presentations and debates. Tax rates! Zoning code! Special use permits! It’s bracing stuff.
You’re so over Thomas Jefferson
Sure, he penned some good turns of phrase, but he was a plantation owner who had six children with a teenager he enslaved. He was a smug aristocrat whose hypocrisy knew no bounds. Some leaders around here talk a big game about equity, and then make people walk past gleaming statues of this guy every day. Really people? Really?
You love Dave Matthews
He’s a bona fide local legend who reached the highest highs and never forgot where he came from. His band is full of instrumental virtuosos, and he’s done immense amounts of charity work during the latter part of his career. And let’s be honest, who can resist “Crash Into Me?” Come on. You’d have to have a heart of stone.
You cannot stand Dave Matthews
He’s an overexposed dad-rocker who hasn’t been relevant in two decades. His voice sounds like a door hinge in bad need of some WD-40, and wearing pajama pants on stage wasn’t cute, either. And no, we haven’t forgotten the time his tour bus dumped 800 pounds of poop onto a sightseeing boat in the Chicago River.
You consume local media
For a town of its size, Charlottesville has an impressive network of journalists working in a variety of mediums—print, TV, radio, and, yes, Twitter—to keep everyone informed about what’s going on around here. In recent years, national and international media have regularly shone a spotlight on the city, too, but the local news, well, they’re the people sticking with it every day. (Okay, we might be a little biased on this one. But the point stands.)
You get really, really defensive when someone from New York tries to tell you about bagels
Back off, city slickers. Bodo’s bagels are hearty and toothsome. Your order is ready in minutes, no matter how long the line is. A sandwich costs like $4. A deli egg will knock your hangover out of the park. Hating on Bodo’s is like hating on The Beatles: We get it, you just like being contrarian.
You’ve caught a free show at the Pavilion—by standing on the Belmont Bridge and craning your neck
Sure, you can’t see the stage, and yes, the acoustics are bad because the shell is facing the other way. But there’s something special about free live music. When concerts come back—sooner rather than later, we hope!—we’ll be excited to lean on the railing, look down onto the mall, and hear a few tinny chords from the best seats outside the house.
You’ve got an answer to the riddle “Why did the salamander cross the road?”
Each February, around 1,000 salamanders set off on their winter migration…from one side of Polo Grounds Road to the other. Since crossing the street is a dangerous undertaking for the little lizards, it’s become a local tradition for volunteers to gather on wet winter eves to shepherd the critters to the other side safely. Now that’s a good way to look out for your neighbors!
You know that we all experience Charlottesville differently
Any Charlottesville resident who’s been paying attention knows that the city means many things to many people. This is our town’s defining feature: We all live here, and we’re all rooting for the place to succeed, but we have hugely different life experiences, hopes, and priorities. We’ve put together this list to poke fun at a few of the city’s idiosyncrasies. (And believe me, we could have kept going.) But it’s not up to the alt-weekly to determine what makes a local, and we hope everyone who lives here feels like they can take ownership of the place. If you say you’re from Charlottesville, then you’re a local in our book.