Winter C Magazine: Honesty works in a pinch

Sometimes the truth is a big semi truck that’s crossing the center line. Sure, you want to avoid it, but when that means driving off a cliff, you find yourself thinking, “This is a tough spot.” This month, we look at a few instances of how facing the truth can make a friendship grow without putting you in the hospital.

The other night, my friend got a little too flirty with my significant other—and it’s not the first time. I’m not threatened, but it makes me and my guy super uncomfortable. How can I tell her to back off?
He doesn’t need you to defend his honor or personal space. I want to ask about
the lush factor here, but I’ll do what I normally do, and assume I’m right—alcohol was involved. This friendship needs to move to the light of day. If it doesn’t hold up sober and one-on-one, then she is just an acquaintance.
Flirty McGee: Do you guys want to ride together to Jenny’s party? I’ll drive.
You: No, thanks. We might skip it.
FM: Well, that stinks. I want to hang out with you soon.
You: I could do lunch on Friday. Just the two of us?
FM: I’ll check and e-mail you.
You: Sounds good.

I’ve got a close-talking friend who has horrible breath! How do I suggest to her, tactfully, that she needs more than a breath mint once in a while?
One time my son told me my breath smelled bad and it really embarrassed me and hurt my feelings. (I have since been lucky enough to return the favor.) The abrupt truth is territory for best friends, family and NYC cab drivers, so I’ll navigate a gentler (sneakier) path
for you.
Hali: (holding a gift bag) What is this?
You: Isn’t it cute? It’s a little goodie bag of beauty products (with organic toothpaste). I’m trying to switch over to all organic stuff and thought I’d take you with me.
Hali: Cool! Thank you.
You: I even got extra toothpaste to replace my little work set. Pull out little work set from purse. I’m going whole hog.
Hali: Aren’t you cute? A little toothbrush bag. That’s a really good idea.
You: Oh, it saves me after the Bodo’s Caesar salad.
Hali: I should do that, too.

My friend has had some unexpected expenses come up and has asked to borrow money. As a rule, I don’t really think friends should lend each other cash. How do I let her down easy?
Let me ask you this: Do you have a rule about gifts? When true friends ask for help, we must respond in some way. Give her cash or a gift card to a grocery store in an amount with which you feel comfortable. No strings attached.
You: I don’t loan money to friends, but I got you a gift card to Food Now!
Penny Lane: Thank you so much. That’s going to save me! I hated that I had to ask anybody for money. I’ve decided to call my grandfather.
You: And you should come to my house for dinner on Friday.
Penny: I love you.
You: I love you, too. You’re going to get through this.

Denise Stewart is a local writer, actor and business lady who loves her screenwriting group and drinks with twists.