Kenny Rogers and the rock star makeover

Or, a meditation on the worst facelifts in music

By now, you may’ve noticed that Feedback isn’t on the front page of C-VILLE this week, replaced by Jen "Slowpoke" Sorenson’s live blog from the Democratic National Convention. While this doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with my trip to see Kenny Rogers last week, it does offer a chance to talk about facelifts, and I’ll be damned if The Gambler‘s going to dodge a bullet for putting his melon in a pressure cooker:


Know when to hold a face, know when to fold a face:
Kenny Rogers tries on a new mug.

Now, this post is in no way a jab at ol’ Ken’s set; in fact, I spent the first half-hour of his gig talking nicely about KR with a few of the Young Divorcees (killer opening set) and throwing out the occasional line from "Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town." But the fact remains that what Kenny did to his face isn’t too far from what he did to his chicken—cooked all character out of it.

So, to honor Kenny Rogers’ old mitt, I give you the least successful music makeovers:

1. KISS ditches makeup for Lick It Up. Then gets mocked like Spinal Tap.

2. Wu-Tang Clan. Remember how these dudes were supposed to split into solo acts and conquer the hip-hop world? According to GZA, who just released a new record, what the Clan members really need is an ointment to cure the Wu outbreak and bring everyone back together.

3. Rolling Stone magazine. It’s not fat! It’s just, um, tightening things up.

Your choices? Leave ’em here.

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