Tag: Kids & Family

Whether you’ve allowed your kids to have their own mobile device or you’re still deciding if you should, they’ve probably already asked for one. At least that’s what Allyson Shames says her oldest son, David, started doing before she finally caved.

“He was making us Keynote presentations, justifying why he felt he needed one by the time he was 9 or 10,” she says. “There was a new presentation every couple of months.”

Shames, a mother of three, says she held out until David was 13 before giving him a cell phone for his birthday, but he, “a very tech-y kid,” had started using technology at an early age. Shames remembers him programming the VCR as a 2-year-old and sneaking out of bed six years later to use the family computer.

“When he was 8, he got up when the rest of us were asleep and tried to log into the family computer,” she says. “When he couldn’t get beyond the password screen, he restarted the machine and hacked in via the boot drive, reset the password and got in.”

Millennials are known as the first generation to grow up with technology, and maybe that’s what makes them so eager to use it. But Shames is happy with the advancements technology has provided for her family.

Before using a cell phone, David also used an iPad mini for about a year. This purchase, Shames says, was a product of her son’s interest in recording music. He practiced the drums, guitar and keyboard and used the tablet to record himself playing at home. David would then bring the recording into his teacher’s studio, where he was also able to record lessons and take them home with him.

Shames, whose two other children are ages 8 and 11, says technology has helped her family stay organized, too. David, who is part of the ski club with his brother, can text her from Wintergreen if they’re running late or returning early, and Shames says she’s able to keep other parents updated this way. David also has access to the shared family calendar and can collaborate on grocery lists from his cell phone.

“One of the biggest advantages has been in social relationships,” Shames says. “For so many kids, the nighttime Instagram posts and texts and chats are equivalent to the notes we passed in math class 25 years ago. They’re building connections.” She adds that the kids without devices are unintentionally excluded from those opportunities.

Some parents would prefer to hold out a little longer, like local mom Elvira Hoskins.

Hoskins’ cell phone policy is the same as Shames’—her 13-year-old has one and her other two children will also get cell phones when they become teenagers. She says the technology does come in handy now that her daughter is more independent, but she may have been wrong for assuming that a cell phone would enhance her daughter’s safety.

“It is also a false sense of security,” she says, remembering a time her daughter’s phone died after a concert and she wasn’t able to reach her. And she calls it heartbreaking that her daughter “used to be an avid reader, and now she mostly spends her downtime looking at her phone or computer.”

With the growing presence of technology in schools, parents say it can be difficult to determine when their child is using their tablet or computer for schoolwork or for their own entertainment.

Laurel Henneman, mother of 13- and 15-year-old boys, says only her oldest son has a cell phone, which he received when he entered high school. While she doesn’t identify as being pro- or anti-technology, she says providing kids with technology has plenty of positives and negatives you’ll want to consider “before you let the genie out of the bottle.”

Tech tips

The area moms we spoke to have some great advice for parents whose kids are craving a smartphone. Take it from them.

Have the talk. Hoskins advises initiating conversations about social media, “from predators to hurting a friend’s feelings to how you would handle feeling hurt or in awe of someone’s highlights they post to social media compared to in real life.”

Keep an eye out. Shames says, “Follow your kids on Instagram so you get a window into what’s going on with the social circle beyond your child, or beyond what they may talk about when they get to the age where every question is met with a grunt.”

Set limits. Across the board, parents say it’s important to limit a kid’s screen time and prohibit them from taking their phone or tablet to bed with them. Several parents, like Henneman, send their kids to a technology-free sleepaway camp over the summer.—S.B.

Charlottesville Chamber Music Festival founders, Juilliard School graduates, members of Dave Matthews Band…scroll down the list of local musicians who have played in the Youth Orchestras of Central Virginia, and you won’t doubt the almost-40-year-old organization’s claim: “Music begins with us.”

“We’re the only opportunity in the community for young people who play winds and strings to play on the same stage,” says Carolyn Fitzpatrick, president of YOCVA’s board. Composed of two full symphony orchestras, a junior strings program, and flute and clarinet ensembles, YOCVA is open to musicians ages 10 to 18 who live in Charlottesville, Albemarle and neighboring counties.

“We have a group of very dedicated conductors and the program is a step stool that allows our musicians to go from one level to the next, from, say, junior strings in elementary or middle school, to the Evans Orchestra and finally the Youth Symphony,” Fitzpatrick says. Auditions typically happen in the spring and late summer, after which “the conductors get together and build their symphonies,” she says. “Don Brubaker [director of the Rita M. Evans Orchestra] says his job is to empty his orchestra every year, meaning he hopes all his musicians move up [to the Youth Symphony].”

Fitzpatrick’s daughter, Mary, did exactly that: She started out playing in YOCVA’s Flute Ensemble, made the Evans Orchestra as an eighth-grader and eventually earned a spot as the principal flute in the Youth Symphony, in which she played for three years.

“The orchestra is different from private lessons and school bands becauses it’s an orchestra, and it’s a voluntary activity where our entire focus is on playing and how to communicate that to an audience,” says Mary Fitzpatrick, now a freshman at Pittsburgh’s Duquesne University, where she’s studying music therapy. “[The orchestras] helped me learn to work with all kinds of people—homeschoolers, private school students—not just people from my school,” adds the Albemarle High grad, who says she met two of her best friends, one from Monticello High and the other from Western Albemarle, during her time in YOCVA.

In addition to performing at venues such as Old Cabell Hall three times a year, members of the orchestras can also be heard at a variety of community events, including Monticello’s holiday house
tours and its annual naturalization ceremony and First Night Virginia. They’ve also begun a musical collaboration with Computers4Kids, an area organization that brings technology to children who don’t have access to it at home.

And while playing in YOCVA isn’t cheap (it costs between $295 and $400, annually), Fitzpatrick says, “Our mission is no barrier to talent. If you have the talent, we will make sure it’s possible for you to play in our orchestras.”

Urban legend goes like this: Chefs cook so much on the job, they eat simple stuff when they’re cooking at home.

But what about when they get their kids involved—their ravenous but picky, ever-growing but moody kids? Three local chefs told us a few things they like to pack in their kids’ lunches and what they cook when they’re working together in the kitchen.

Harrison Keevil
(Brookville Restaurant, Keevil & Keevil Grocery)

Caroline, 3, and Grace, 2

Packed to go: Keevil approaches packed lunch like any other balanced meal, he says, trying to include fruits and veggies, a starch and meat or cheese. He says the kids are into watermelon, peas and especially broccoli these days. “They love their greens and fruits,” he says. “I imagine it’s because we try to get the best local produce just like we do at Brookville.” And, just like their dad, they “love sandwiches.”

Prepared at home: Keevil’s daughters are still on the young side, but they’re in the restaurant often and love watching their dad work. At home, Keevil and his wife, Jennifer, get Caroline and Grace involved with build-your-own-pizza night. (Broccoli is always one of the toppings.) Caroline is an adventurous eater, Keevil says—“she was crushing some crab the other night”—but he does try to keep the seasoning mild. And that’s actually improved his own sensitivity to salt.

Dean Maupin
(C&O Restaurant)

Ellery, 8, Grant 6, and Corinne, 4

Packed to go: Maupin says he plays it by the book when it comes to takeaway meals, sending things like fresh fruit and veggies, cheese and crackers and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He also likes to mix in some rice cakes.
“My kids don’t eat school lunch, not because we frown upon it, but because packing their lunch is what they’re accustomed to.” To ensure the kids don’t leave their vegetables in the lunchbox, Maupin says he relies on kid-friendly varieties like raw sugar snap peas, edamame and cucumbers.

Prepared at home: The Maupin family started raising chickens in the spring, and when the first egg was laid, his daughter asked if she should scramble it or do it sunnyside up. “The fact that she found that egg and that was the first thing she said, that was surprising,” he says. “She’s a natural and destined to be a chef—but I don’t know if I want her to be.”

Maupin, whose wife is a pastry chef, said Ellery’s love of cooking has been vaulted not only by her parents but also by “Kids Baking Championship” on Food Network. “She will sit there and watch those episodes over and over,” he says. “It’s a well done show.”

Will Richey
(Revolutionary Soup, The Whiskey Jar, The Alley Light)

Alston, 7, and Marie, 3

Packed to go: Richey says he and his wife pack lunches about 50 percent of the time. For a while he says his son was “stuck on peanut butter and jelly,” but he’s gotten him to branch out more recently. Richey’s careful about the fruits he packs, favoring items that require minimal prep but don’t bruise or smoosh easily, like apples and grapes.

Alston’s particularly into homemade trail mix, according to Richey. They make a batch most mornings using a few nuts and seeds (peanuts, almonds, pumpkin seeds) and dried fruit (raisins, craisins, dried apricots).

Prepared at home: Both of Richey’s kids are into cooking in their own right, he says. Marie likes seasoning and mixing, and while Alston’s developed a healthy caution around fire, he’s working with his dad on proper knife skills. “I don’t do anything differently than I would in the restaurant. I teach him to keep the knife on the knuckle and keep the point on the board,” he says. 

Kids in the kitchen

Want to get your kid cooking? Says Chef Maupin, “This is a great recipe to make with kids, simply for the fact that the process of measuring ingredients is perfect for kids to do, and it has a lot of that and is easy and delicious.” And, bonus: The recipe can be switched up with any nut or spice, so your little one will never tire of it.

Coconut Pecan Granola

In a large bowl:

4 cups rolled oats

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 cup shredded unsweetened coconut

1 cup pecans, roughly chopped

1/2 cup sesame seeds, chia seeds, sliced
almonds or any other small “mix-in”

1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg

1/2 tsp. dried ginger

1 tsp. cinnamon

Mix together, and set aside.

In a small pot:

1 cup coconut oil (use extra-virgin for
best flavor)

4 tbs. butter

2 tsp. salt

1/2 cup light brown sugar

1/4 cup maple syrup, pure

1 tsp. vanilla

Heat the ingredients on the stove until the brown sugar has dissolved some, and everything is melted and hot. Pour over the dry mixture, toss together well. Spread granola between two sheet pans, and bake in the oven (275 degrees) for approximately 1 1/2 hours or until lightly golden. Stir with a spatula every 15 minutes. Cool completely and store in air-tight jars. Will keep for three weeks.

By the time Priya Mahadevan’s youngest daughter was 5 years old, Mahadevan had completed drafts for six children’s books. But it wasn’t until earlier this year that she published the first one: Princesses Only Wear Putta-Puttas, the semi-true story of a visit to India with her daughter for a wedding.

“The trip was so profound for Shreya, especially after living in a quiet [Albemarle County] countryside home, that it had to be chronicled in some form or manner,” Mahadevan says. The book accompanies bicultural Fey Fey, a dead-ringer for now-7-year-old Shreya, as she experiences and falls in love with the country’s sights and sounds. But what captures Fey Fey’s fancy most is India’s traditional costumes—and when she returns to the United States, she insists that she is an Indian princess. This comes with several challenges, such as playing in the sandbox or staying warm in winter while dressed in a putta-putta (an Indian silk skirt and blouse), the only thing she will wear.

Mahadevan, whose two older children are both in college, says she began writing about Shreya when her daughter was a toddler, and “the themes for stories seemed to present themselves to me. With digital cameras and computers, I could watch her grow and keep notes on stuff she did, something I never got to do with my older two who are just a couple of years apart.”

Princesses Only Wear Putta-Puttas, the first in a series of four books, is a writing departure for Mahadevan, who worked as a political correspondent for an Indian newspaper and a New Delhi-based magazine before getting married and moving to Canada and then the U.S.

When she’s not writing, Mahadevan can be found in the kitchen, cooking up the South Indian fare she serves at her Desi Dosa stall at City Market, the Stonefield farmers market and a variety of other area events (priyasnowserving.com). “I started writing a food blog in 2010, and the cyber interactions with other food bloggers opened up a whole new world,” she says. “One thing led to another and before I knew it, I was doing cooking classes. Desi Dosa was a result of many of my friends and family pushing for me to be more entrepreneurial.”

And while Mahadevan calls food a new passion, her children, she says, are “my permanent passion,” which is why she hopes her book “will strike a chord with many families who enjoy more than one culture.” 

See for yourself Princesses Only Wear Putta-Puttas is available online at priyamahadevan.com.

It’s Thursday at 9:45pm, and your child is crying. They have a big project due, oh, tomorrow. They have no outline, they have no poster board; in short, they have no clue. What do you do?

“Late-night runs for supplies are acceptable,” says Lori Linville, a parent of two high schoolers. “Doing work for my children, or giving them a ‘pass’ from school for work that is not completed is not.”

Since Linville is also an eighth grade language arts teacher at Burley Middle School, she has perspective on both sides of the homework help issue. As a parent, she wants to assist her children and get invested in their education—and she hopes the parents of her students feel the same way. “But,” she says, “I remind myself that this is the right time in my children’s academic career for their work and the results of it to be fully theirs.”

Village School math teacher Linde Tassell also recommends that parents take a hands-off approach to homework help, if only so teachers can better assess students’ progress.

“Parental assistance can undermine a child’s progress toward becoming an independent learner, one who is confident in their ability to figure things out,” she says.

Beth Gehle, a world history and AP human geography teacher at Charlottesville High School who both teaches high schoolers and parents two of her own, adds, “I don’t offer my own kids help on homework, although I do ask about what’s due and what’s coming up.”

And that’s the kind of help she says she’d like parents of her students to offer.

“The best way for a parent to be involved with homework is to help make a weekly plan of what times can be set aside to do it, and what assignments can be completed in each available timeslot.”

Aka no more Thursday night meltdowns.

But are all the other parents doing their kids’ homework for them? If you don’t help, are you putting your kid at a disadvantage?

Not necessarily, according to Celia Castleman, parent to two elementary schoolers. “I never offer homework help,” she says. “My husband automatically does, but when he’s on a business trip, the kids are on their own.” She appreciates her husband’s willingness to sit with the kids and encourage them, but says, “I’m more laid-back. I think if we do a lot of things for our children, it can atrophy their ability to become independent and self-motivated.”

Penny Shuster started playing the drums in fifth grade, with the snare in her school band. But she made the switch to a drum set last year, when she started at St. Anne’s-Belfield School, because it afforded her more opportunities to play different kinds of music. “Plus,” Shuster says, “it’s cooler.”

She takes lessons at Stacy’s Music and practices in her basement at home. But the 15-year-old has actual gigs, too, thanks to Stacy’s Music’s Highway to Rock program, which brings together local kids who play instruments (drums, guitar, bass, vocals) to form a temporary band. The groups practice every Sunday for a few months until they’re ready to rock out at a performance, like the last one Shuster had with her band, Vertigo, at the Ante Room, opening for Superunknown and Pale Blue Dot.

She plays a lot of rock music, but says she’s mostly into hip-hop and hopes to practice more in that style. As for her favorite drummer? She gets inspiration from many.

“I’m always looking at different drummers and drum covers on YouTube, and thinking, ‘I want to be able to play like that.’”