Categories
Arts

Film review: The Campaign

The agenda of director Jay Roach’s new movie is obviously not to mine the finer nuances of American electoral procedures. This might come as a shock or a relief, depending on whether you go into The Campaign remembering Roach as the politically-minded maker of HBO’s Recount and Game Change or you only know him from the Fockers films. In any case, now Roach has split that difference. His agenda, for what it’s worth, is lowbrow bipartisan spoofery.

Well, America, what is it worth? In The Campaign, Will Ferrell plays an entrenched North Carolina congressman challenged by an unlikely opponent in the form of Zach Galifianakis. Unlikeliness, of course, used to be the Galifianakis touch; here it’s a dull nudge, or whatever you want to call a weary reprise of the prissy oaf he played in Due Date. Meanwhile Ferrell looks to have hauled out his old George W. Bush impression, and sensing the staleness, hosed it off with a splash of randy John Edwards. The setup alone is a bloodless, been-there farce. But maybe that sends a message of safety and security. So can it count on your vote?

With strings pulled by callous sibling super-funders modeled on the Koch brothers and played by John Lithgow and Dan Aykroyd, the candidates’ contest escalates from gaffe-intensive buffoonery to the brinksmanship of outrageously dirty mud- slinging. Among a clutter of pundits tediously playing themselves, Jason Sudeikis and Dylan McDermott show up as rival campaign managers, respectively servile and shark-like. Before long it’s a slog, quite like a real campaign but otherwise too broad a cartoon and too soft a satire, full of cheap shots at easy targets and many scattered bits of uninspired vulgarity. (Inspired vulgarity would be fine.)

Writers Chris Henchy and Shawn Harwell try to repurpose the usual campaign movie clichés as punchlines but can’t fully forsake their pieties; Roach and his complacent stars take that cue to churn out a film whose sentimental fizzle-ending “heart” seems as much of a cynical calculation as the politically corrosive corporate profiteering it limply sends up. Ultimately this sort of thing is best on cable, and eventually channel-surfed away from. Richer parodies remain available on “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report,” as does the parody that writes itself, regularly, in current events.

Someone, somewhere may think the timing of The Campaign’s release is politically motivated. Although scarcely issue-driven, or challenging in any real way, it does seem to have gotten shoved into the doldrums of the August dumping-ground, between peak summer blockbusters and autumn’s onset of prestige pictures. At best it offers a vacation of sorts, some recuperative last laffs before the grim home stretch of real-life campaigning carries us into November. And if the it’s-all-a-joke mindset feels neither constructive nor cathartic, it does have the dubious virtue of staying forever unserious.

The Campaign/R, 88 minutes/Carmike Cinema 6

Movie houses
Carmike Cinema 6 973-4294
Regal Downtown Mall Cinema 6 979-7669
Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4 978-1607
Vinegar Hill Theatre 977-4911

Categories
News

Ultrasound foundation speeds medical advances

Seven years ago this month, Dr. Neal Kassell had an epiphany.

The UVA neurosurgeon was struggling with the challenge of treating certain brain tumors too deep for the knife and too big for targeted radiation. At the same time, he was researching how to use sound waves to measure blood flow in the brain.

During a drive home from the hospital one night, a solution came to him.

“I had this ‘Aha!’ moment where I said, ‘I bet we can use ultrasound in some way to treat these brain tumors,’” said Kassell, now 66. “I thought I had a Nobel Prize-winning idea.”

Turns out he might have—it just wasn’t his Nobel Prize-winning idea. But he didn’t let go of it.

Physicians have been exploring focused ultrasound as a non-invasive surgical tool for decades. Treatments involve pinpointing a trouble spot in the body with concentrated sound waves that can superheat a tiny area only a centimeter across and burn away tissue.

So far, the only FDA-approved use is for the treatment of benign uterine tumors, but in the last decade, research has indicated focused ultrasound’s potential as a tool to operate elsewhere in the body—including the brain. Kassell believes the applications are almost limitless. But the wheels of conventional medical device development turned far too slowly for the Porsche-driving doctor, so he built his own model to fund research. More than half a decade and $20 million later, he can point to results.

He’s driven by a simple philosophy: Identify the bottlenecks holding back advancements, and find the funds to loosen them up.

When it comes to moving medicine forward, said Kassell, “the distance between where we are today and where we need to be can be closed simply by the brute force application of money.”

Kassell became something of a rockstar in his field after he was recruited to UVA from the University of Iowa in 1984. He specialized in very tricky procedures on aneurysms and hard-to-reach tumors. John-Boy Walton actor Richard Thomas even played him in a 2001 TV movie about a famous surgery he performed on a boy with a brain tumor.

But even as helped build a world-class program at UVA, he was preoccupied with the things he couldn’t fix.

“You don’t log or think about the successes in general,” he said. “What really stays in your mind are the failures.”

Following his ultrasound eureka moment, he invited the leading therapeutic ultrasound device manufacturer to give a presentation in Charlottesville, and started pitching the idea of a UVA-based therapy center to donors.

Kassell is not, he said, “a naturally born supplicant.” But he moved in powerful circles. He served on the board of directors of the Virginia National Bank and several nonprofits, and knew people with deep pockets. And he had a compelling pitch. Researchers are confident that focused ultrasound could be a safe way to destroy tumors anywhere in the body, increase the effectiveness of radiation and drugs, treat symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease, and much more.

Two weeks after he started shopping around the idea of a research center, he secured his first half-million-dollar pledge from Berkshire Hathaway hedge fund manager Ted Weschler, and Kassell started thinking beyond the University.

“It became apparent that we could do this on a much broader, more global scale, while continuing to nurture UVA,” he said. He created the Charlottesville-based Focused Ultrasound Foundation (FUSF) in October of 2006 with the idea that it could warehouse funds that would be used to drive ultrasound research all over the world.

Kassell still oversees surgical residents and visits patients, but these days, he’s swapped out the OR for a conference room in an office park off Barracks Road. Clad in scrubs and with one loafered foot propped on the table in front of him, he explained one recent morning why he’s out to change not just surgery, but medical research itself.

Medical advances—drugs, devices—are expensive and time-consuming to develop, said Kassell. Academic institutions have the know-how, but current funding mechanisms encourage researcher self-preservation over rapid development. He experienced it firsthand: Why go for a three-year grant when you can instead aim for the prestige and security of seven years of funding from the NIH for the same project?

“There’s an incentive to drag it out,” he said. “That was my life.”

His organization leverages private money to fund regular workshops that bring together far-flung experts, and the grants the FUSF offers come with strict milestone requirements. Kassell said the approach causes indigestion among some who are wary that collaboration could mean losing competitive footholds. And that’s fine, he said. They can look elsewhere for funding.

“Our feeling is, wonderful, let somebody steal your idea if they’re going to find a way to use it faster to treat the patient,” he said.

Of the $20 million the FUSF has spent on research since its founding, 30 percent has come from device manufacturers and 70 percent from philanthropists whose only return on investment is patient outcome. What they’ve created, Kassell said, is a nexus where academia, industry, and the private donor world pool resources and get a swift kick in the direction of progress. He brushes off questions about the model’s sustainability.

“We’re priming the pump,” he said. “Success for this foundation is when we go out of business.”

It seems unlikely that will happen soon. The FUSF has funded nearly two dozen studies on the use of ultrasound for everything from burning away breast tumors to melting body fat, and more research is on the horizon. Some of the most promising work is happening close to home.

UVA neurosurgeon Jeff Elias completed a pilot study earlier this year that tested ultrasound’s ability to treat essential tremor—unexplained and often debilitating shaking of the hands and body. Physicians know how to treat it: with tiny brain lesions created during procedures where the patient stays awake throughout. It’s a fix Elias thought could be achieved with ultrasound, and so far, it appears he was right. Fifteen patients were strapped into a device that looked like a giant shower cap and inserted into an MRI machine, Elias said, and for three hours, doctors carefully targeted problem areas of their brains with soundwaves. The results were on par with far more invasive procedures, he said.

It was the first time anyone had tried to treat tremor symptoms with ultrasound. “It was exciting to plow new territory,” said Elias. “Everyone here is invigorated.” A bigger, randomized study designed to prove efficacy in treating Parkinson’s patients with tremor is now in the works—with funding from the FUSF.

When he talks about what’s next for his foundation, Kassell’s excitement is evident —he points to swelling numbers of researchers at a regular ultrasound symposium he’s helped organize in Bethesda, and the international group of engineers that recently crowded Darden’s conference center for a workshop on improving the technology.

But his impatience shows, too. He has his foot on the gas, but he wants the work to move faster.

“It takes decades before a major technology—diagnostic or therapeutic—becomes mainstream,” he said. “If you can shave one year off that process, you’ve reduced death and suffering for countless people.”

Categories
The Editor's Desk

Editor’s Note: The new c-ville.com

We launched a new website today. People are launching new websites every day, but it’s a big deal for us as a print-focused media company that’s been on the same online platform since 2006. I arrived at the paper last year from a digital startup in a small market that used WordPress and harnessed community-sourced news. I wanted to do the same thing at C-VILLE, but it’s a totally different proposition to embrace digital media trends with a successful print weekly to run. Frank Dubec, our publisher, and I have been working on this site redevelopment since last September, so we’re very excited about today. We hope you will be too. To invoke The Specials, it’s the dawning of a new era.

If you’ve ever been frustrated with our website, you’re in good company. Our staff has been, too. When we decided to redevelop, we thought it would be easy. Copy someone who’s doing it well and don’t spend too much money. Not so fast, my friend. Who exactly has done media site development well? The Village Voice overspent and never made its money back. The national aggregation sites (Gawker, HuffPo, etc.) don’t have to deal with print (or reporting for that matter). The New York Times has 11,000 more employees than we do. The free weeklies of our size have better or worse versions of the same basic design, namely a home page carved up into a gajillion windows that lead to mysterious bits of content (see clatl.com). Add to that landscape the fact that we got price quotes for the build ranging from $7,000 to $65,000. Your sandwich will be either 15 cents or 20 bucks, sir. Hokay. Now slap on top of all that the reality that while readers are moving to the Web for information, print media companies (see newspapers) only make between 4 and 20 percent of their annual revenue through online ad sales.

Ryan DeRose and his company Vibethink—a one-man team when we signed them up, and a five-person shop on the Downtown Mall now—built the new version of c-ville.com. Ryan and Matt Clark, who also worked closely with us, attended Western Albemarle and Nelson County high schools, respectively, so we kept things local. What really sold us on their team was that they shared our ideas about what makes a good local media site, and they cared about our paper’s role in the community. We wanted to make something that was easy to use (for us and for you); we wanted to strip away unnecessary distractions from the content; and we wanted to create a platform that we could constantly modify and improve as things changed. We wanted a site that would show up well on all your devices, that integrated social media seamlessly, and that showcased our photographers and writers.

Mostly though, we wanted something that our readers would love to use. Best Of C-VILLE 2012 is all about the love. Consider the new website our long overdue institutional love letter to you, and please help us make it better by sending your ideas and suggestions.

Categories
Living

Best of C-VILLE 2012: Editorial picks

While you may know the best, we know the rest, so the C-VILLE editorial staff has thrown some picks into the mix, too. When you get right down to it, your love (and our love) of this place isn’t just about TJ or UVA. As the folks in this town figured out a long time ago, it’s about community—the space we create between town and country and all the moving parts that make the whole. That’s a whole lot to love.

Categories
News

Dragas criticized course on Gaga

During the weeks of turmoil following UVA President Teresa Sullivan’s ouster, Rector Helen Dragas promised the University of Virginia community that the Board of Visitors had not, and would not, play a role in directing academic courses to be eliminated or reduced. “These matters belong to the faculty,” she said. But e-mails released under the Freedom of Information Act between Dragas and other administrators show that the rector has her own opinions on which classes are and are not acceptable, or, more specifically, palatable to potential donors.

Last November, Dragas sent an e-mail to Sullivan, Provost John Simon, and former Vice Rector Mark Kington with a subject line reading “tough headline.” The body of the e-mail featured a link to an article posted by the Foundry, a conservative think tank in Washington, D.C. Leslie Grimard, who also authored a story earlier in the year about the “disproportion between liberals and conservatives” at universities across the country, wrote an article entitled “The Lady Gaga-fication of Higher Ed.” The post questioned the credibility of four “top-tier universities” that offered courses on Lady Gaga, including UVA.

Simon responded to Dragas’ e-mail with a lengthy description and defense of the class in question. He explained that “GaGa for Gaga: Sex, Gender, and Identity” was a section of a freshman writing class intended to encourage critical thinking for argumentative essays.

“While not a conventional choice for a topic, the various offerings try to present a wide range of themes,” Simon wrote in the e-mail. “One of the reasons for a range of topics is to engage students in writing about topics that interest them.”

Dragas responded, thanking Simon for his explanation, but didn’t seem convinced that the class was up to UVA standards.

“I appreciate that the course subject can be defended—but the title of the course and the headline of the article probably aren’t helping justify funding requests from parents, taxpayers, and legislators,” she wrote.

Dragas went on to write that “there must be some internal arbiter of what is appropriate.” She didn’t propose what that should be, but she warned Simon that people would make up their own minds. “Those people can influence our future. We should be mindful of that, in my opinion,” she wrote.

The conversation ended there, Simon said, but he added that if a line does exist between the Board and academics at UVA, professors should not have to be concerned about donors and University finances.

Christa Romanosky, who created the course in 2010, said she uses one rule when teaching: “If the students aren’t engaged, it’s the instructor’s job to get them interested.” Romanosky said the class easily could have been called “Elements of Sexuality and Gender in the 21st Century,” but she chose the controversial title to catch her students’ attention, and it worked.

Romanosky said donors are key to university success, but her students are her number one priority.

“They’re paying for an education and deserve to have serious and engaging courses, regardless of whether it might ruffle a few feathers on a few very conservative donors,” she said.

Categories
News

Mark Brown plans to roll out new Charlottesville cabs

A local investor is shaking things up on the streets of Charlottesville. Main Street Arena owner Mark Brown recently purchased the city’s Yellow Cab company, and he has big plans to change the industry’s local model.

“The company as is doesn’t really interest me,” Brown said. “But bringing in all the new stuff is much more compelling.”

Extensive travel up and down the East Coast showed Brown what cabs could offer a city, and he became determined to bring Charlottesville taxis to the same standard.

“All of the cab offerings in this town, including the current Yellow Cab, were substandard,” he said. “And technologically, for dispatch and paying, they’re in the stone ages.”

Brown’s first move was to purchase 20 hybrid Hyundai Sonatas, which he expects to hit the streets in early September. He said Yellow Cab’s current vehicles get about 12 miles to the gallon, and with gasoline being the company’s single biggest expense, the fuel efficiency of the new fleet will significantly cut costs.

He is also creating a new smartphone app, which will allow anyone in need of a ride to request a cab with one click. With a GPS that locates customers immediately and an automatic text message from the vehicle upon arrival, Brown said the new setup will make catching a cab easier for everyone. The GPS tracking feature will also allow the dispatcher to locate a vehicle in emergency situations more quickly or to track down lost wallets and cell phones.

Brown said credit card swipe machines have become the norm in big city cabs, and he intends to install them in the old vehicles while the new Sonatas are being prepared for the road. Other new features will include panic buttons up front and in the back, and security cameras.

Michael Anderson, a Harlem native who has been a Yellow Cab driver since 2006, said he’s excited about everything Brown has in store for the company except the security cameras.

“I’m not quite sure if I’m on board with that,” he said.

Anderson said a cab ride should be relaxing and private, and he worries that a camera in his car will make customers uncomfortable. And customers, Anderson said, are what the business is all about. He prides himself on being personable with his clients and doing the little things like lending a hand with groceries, and he said the company would be better off if more drivers were as conscientious.

Wolley Cab owner Chris Miskovsky agreed that rider satisfaction must be a cab company’s top priority, and he said he’s not worried that the competitor’s improvements will hurt his business.

Miskovsky’s fleet is significantly smaller than Yellow Cab’s, with only six cars. He said a cab company needs to be wary of building up so much business that the customers are no longer taken care of.

“The key is going to be in customer service, and supplying good drivers that customers like and are happy and comfortable with,” he said. “If Yellow Cab doesn’t do that, all those technological advances won’t do any good.”

Brown said the upcoming improvements have already attracted quality drivers from all over, which he and Anderson hope will ultimately improve customer service and light a fire under those falling behind.

“I’m putting a lot of money into this company to upgrade all this stuff,” Brown said. “Basically what I’m doing is taking the things you find in a major market and bringing them here—and there’s a reason why those things are in the major market.”

Categories
Living

Questions brides ask before committing to vendors

At the start of your planning process, you’re no doubt embarking on a long journey filled with questions. We asked four local vendors—a photographer, caterer, stylist, and florist—to give us the top five questions brides ask before they commit.

Jack Looney of Jack Looney Photography (249-6266)
1. How do I go about gaining control of my digital files (if the photographer captures the day digitally) and how long will it take?
2. Can you tell me more about your style and approach in the event that the weather goes bad at my venue?
3. What’s your strategy with a second shooter, if any?
4. Can you tell me a little about your back-up plan should you have a family crisis or emergency?
5. To make sure we’re a good match, tell me a little about your style and personality (more direct, discreet, Type A, etc.).

Gay Beery of A Pimento Catering (971-7720)
1. What does the price include? Setup? Cleanup? Only food?
2. Have you done something like this before in this kind of setting?
3. What is your philosophy on the quality of food you provide? Is it local? Where do you source your ingredients?
4. Is what we’re envisioning reasonably achievable?
5. Are you going to be there on the day of the event?

Michele Durham of Bristles Hair Design & Day Spa (977-1411)
1. If the stylist specializes in bridal hair styles, not just formal occassion? In other words, will I look like a bride or like I’m headed to prom?
2. Does the stylist have a portfolio of their work from other weddings?
3. Does the salon itself cater to bridal parties being in the space during the services?
4. Does the team require a trial appointment for the bride?
5. When is the best time to schedule wedding day appointments? How far in advance do we need to commit?

Joey Strickler of Floral Images (971-4744)
1. How can you maximize my budget?
2. How many weddings do take in a weekend?
3. Do you have a portfolio of your work I can see?
4. Can you do a mock up of my cenetrpieces, bouquets, etc., and the cost involved?
5. Are you familiar with my wedding venue?

Categories
Living

Bright and beautiful: Colorful Charlottesville weddings

A rich, vibrant palette spells one thing to guests: fun. We’re not talking every color in the crayon box, but why choose just two or three colors, especially if you love them all? Instead, put Roy G. Biv (that acronym for the sequence of hues in the rainbow) on the guest list for your big day. He brings the party.

A RIOT OF COLOR
Hilty Hazzard and Jeff St. Denis
June 25, 2011

Photo by Cramer Photo.

Ceremony and reception venue: Ash Lawn-Highland
Catering: Michael Wood of Have Food Will Travel
Flowers: Amy Webb of Blue Ridge Floral Design
Cake: Riki Tanabe of Albemarle Baking Company
Music: Madison Trio and DJ Derek Tobler
Dress: Carol Hannah Whitfield bought at Lovely Bride
Shoes: Nine West
Hair: Leslie Lowry of Hazel Beauty Bar
Makeup: Jeanne Cusik
Calligrapher: Bonnie Jean Eastep
Day-of Coordinator: Iris Luck of Barb Wired
Officiant: Eva Marie Ireland
Lighting: MSEvents
Tents: FDS Tents
Rentals: Festive Fare

“Have as much fun as possible.” That’s what Hilty said she and Jeff were going for when coming up with a concept for their wedding. “If we had to make a decision, we always went with whatever would make the party more fun,” she said. A graphic designer, Hilty is color-obsessed. After three months of trying to narrow it down to two or three, she realized she couldn’t settle. “I decided to just go for all of them!” She and Jeff mixed peacock blue dresses; hot pink, peach, and blue flowers; bright green chair cushions; blue water glasses; and multicolored lanterns. Still, her favorite detail wasn’t really a detail at all: “A lot of the people who were there, Jeff and I don’t get to see but every couple of years,” she said. “It was really wonderful to be surrounded by so much love and friendship.”

House call
Hilty and Jeff met one morning after he uwittingly spent the night on her couch. He’d been locked out of the place he was staying and only knew one other person in Charlottesville—Hilty’s roommate!

FOR SENTIMENTAL REASONS
Lauren Hill and Jonathan Dowler
September 10, 2011

Ceremony and reception venue: Ingleside
Catering: Beggars Banquet
Flowers: Sugar Magnolias
Cake: Gluten-free cupcakes from Jules Shepard and groom’s cake by Scotty Koneski
Music: Bob Thames (ceremony), Tara Mills (reception)
Dress: My mom’s dress, redesigned by Posh
Shoes: My mom’s cowboy boots
Hair: Sarah Smith
Landscaping/ gardens: Jennie Hill Robinson

After six years together, Jonathan and Lauren didn’t want to get fussy about the details of their wedding. “We wanted it to be about the family we were starting and the history that had led us to this new beginning,” she said. So, they quickly checked off the dress (her mother’s), the setting (her grandmother’s farm in Somerset), and a few other big-day elements (contributed by family). Then, just as Lauren was getting hung up on a color scheme, a trusted friend convinced her to go for it and embrace all the colors she loves. “It was a balancing act for sure, but in the end, I got a rainbow.”

Table for two
The bride and groom met while working in a restaurant in their college town, Greenville, North Carolina.

INSPIRED DESIGN
Tori Lawson and Nick Gregorios
June 25, 2011

Event planner: Lynn Easton of Easton Events
Ceremony and reception venue: Keswick Hall
Catering: Keswick Hall
Flowers: Pat’s Floral Designs
Cake: Keswick Hall
Music: Big Ray and the Kool Kats
Dress: BHLDN
Shoes: BHLDN
Hair and makeup: Moxie Hair & Body Lounge

An long-time admirer of all things Anthropologie, Tori wanted her and Nick’s wedding to feel like one of the retailer’s beautiful stores. “I wanted to create a mood that was elegant, but still relaxed,” she said. “I wanted the guests to feel as if they were eating in a garden.” Not only did she get her own wedding-day garb from BHLDN, Anthro’s bridal offshoot, but a lot of the décor came from the store as well, from the plates and bowls they filled with peaches, to the knobs the couple used as place card holders. Her favorite detail? The pergola that was built around the head table, which had chandeliers hanging from it. Oh, the romance!

Classroom crush
Tori and Nick met in an economics class in college.

Categories
News

Google, Zagat, and Frommers: Where does Charlottesville come in?

Google announced August 13 that it’s buying travel guide company Frommers, and plans to use the brand to build up its local search results. The search engine giant is already doing just that with content from Zagat, which it bought last year—ratings from the famous review guide will soon be folded into Google listings for restaurants in Charlottesville and around the country.

As Wall Street Journal and New York Times bloggers have pointed out, the $25 million Frommers buy signals a further shift by Google from user-generated content to curated search results created in part by editors working behind the scenes under brand names that carry some weight.

Megan Headley, C-VILLE’s own food and wine editor, is part of that shift. She was hired in April to create what’s likely to be an online-only, Google-search-oriented Zagat guide for our area. Google also tapped local experts to create similar guides in Richmond and Virginia Beach, and is in the process of wrapping up the survey stage of the project (the surveys were supposed to close earlier this month, but Headley says you’ve still got time to fill one out for the Charlottesville guide if you’re interested).

Zagat ratings are already showing up in Google results in major markets (search for Jean Georges in New York and there it is under the map listing, a little maroon 28 out of 30). The partnership with the famous restaurant review guide makes sense, Headley said—Zagat’s ratings are fueled by diner opinions, and Google’s search algorithm is fundamentally democratic.

The marriage with Frommer’s is a little more off the beaten path, and indicates Google is trying to hit on the right blend of information sources in its quest to solidify its status as the go-to place for all knowledge. It’s a formula everybody in media is chasing, Headley said. Google, bloggers, print publications—those with the info are trying to figure out how best to come at readers online, and stay afloat in the process.

Not only are they trying to figure out what people want, and how much and how fast, “but also how to make money on it,” Headley said. “That’s the weird place we are right now.”

Categories
Arts

T.V.: “Oh Sit,” “Married to Japan,” “The Inbetweeners”

“Oh Sit” 
Wednesday 8pm, CW
When the fall of Western Civilization comes —and it is coming, I think we all know that —and someone asks you to pinpoint the moment you knew it had all gone wrong, I hope you say: extreme musical chairs. That’s the concept behind this new competition, in which a dozen contestants compete for $50,000 by trying to outsmart, outwit, and outlast each other in a cracked-out version of the popular children’s birthday party game. Instead of a scratchy record player blaring “Pop Goes the Weasel,” a live band will provide the sounds. Instead of rickety stools, there are space-aged perches (between this and “The Voice” we are living in a golden age of giant, ugly televised furniture). And instead of going around in a circle, these assholes will have to fight through ridiculous obstacle courses, pushing and shoving their way to victory. Congratulations, America: this is something that exists! Hosted by Jamie Kennedy (Scream) and Jessi Cruickshank, who I don’t think is Hermione Granger’s cat, but I can’t be sure.

“Married to Jonas” 
Sunday 10pm, E!
I am a whore for celebrity gossip, and I love a juicy blind item. A few months ago there was a particularly interesting one floating around the blogosphere (are we still calling it that?) that many believed pointed to this new reality show starring Jonas Brother Kevin (a.k.a. the one everyone forgets) and his wife, Danielle. I won’t go into the details, because I would like to not get sued. But suffice it to say, more than a few people have wondered about the origins of this series, which revolves around Danielle and her Jersey-fied family.

“The Inbetweeners” 
Monday 10:30pm, MTV
British teen sitcom “The Inbetweeners” is one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen. The tale of four horny smartass losers trying to navigate through high school was every kind of wrong, which wrapped it back around to right. It found a cult following in the States, and when MTV announced last year that it was making a U.S. version, the original show’s fans were furious. Their concerns are justified: the former music video channel completely blew the American version of my beloved “Skins.” But just based on the preview for “Inbetweeners,” the casting at least looks decent, and there are already jokes at the expense of the handicapped. So the spirit of the original, hopefully, has made its way across the pond.