Month: June 2009

I can’t believe I’m writing an article on this topic and worse, I’m appalled by what I’m about to tell you. Women should let men phone first in early stages of dating. I’m in favor of modern gender roles and relationships but, as a dating coach, I’ve discovered that traditional “courting” norms still apply. They’re so ingrained in our subconscious; if a woman calls a man he’s apt to think she’s overeager, too available, and perhaps a bit desperate. In truth, his interest cools because there’s not the anticipation and anxiety that comes from harboring uncertainty about whether she’s really interested.

Any woman who has waited for a man to call knows her desire grows as the hours pass. And there’s research to back it up. Bruce Bower wrote about it in his article “The Dating Go Round” for Science News published this past Valentine’s Day. Thirty years ago, Dorothy Tennov interviewed thousands of people and found that passion grows from a mix of “hope and uncertainty” about how interested the object of affection really is. A speed dating study published in September 2008 by Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick confirms her research: worry about whether the other person is interested heightens the motivation to pursue the relationship.

We know we should not dial the phone, but this is one of the most nerve-wracking times in dating. The vulnerability of waiting and wondering becomes overwhelming. So how do you stay cool and calm? When you notice yourself going down a fear spiral, stop yourself, trust that if you’re meant to date him, he will call, and take action. Action is an antidote to fear. Get busy seeing friends, exercising, and going on more dates. There’s nothing like a date with someone else to shift the power dynamic. You’ll feel more desirable from the abundance of options and there’s the opportunity to get a little distance and perspective. 

What if he really is a shy guy who thinks you’re out of his league and needs a bit more encouragement to pursue you? Chances are as slim as a meteor landing on your home. But, if you seriously think he’s always pursued and never the pursuer, you may e-mail him if you don’t hear from him in a week. Say, “I was just thinking about you. How are you”? You’ll get your answer.

One last thing, no calling also means no texting, e-mailing, or Facebooking to “innocently” say thanks for a great date. It’s obvious you’re fishing for an invitation for a second date, which is like driving the final nail into your own coffin.

While the lineup for Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand has changed over the years, the band’s current lineup seems the closest to a stable, functional family—perhaps because every member has a second creative outlet. Guitarist Jon Bray, who arrived from the now-deceased Truman Sparks, also makes deadly jungle boogie with Drunk Tigers. Bassist Thomas Dean has Order of the Dying Orchid. (He also makes some of our city’s most distinctive album art.) Smith popped up in Sparks and Order, but the Hand’s songs are indisputably his.

That leaves drummer Adam Brock. Also a member of The Nice Jenkins, Brock’s non-Hand band has been on indefinite hiatus roughly since the release of last year’s Elephant Twisters album, and “indefinite hiatus” ain’t exactly “validating.” His drumming and singing is integral to the Invisible Hand sound—dig those “California Girls” harmonies!—but he didn’t join the Hand to be a melody maker, necessarily.

Yet Borrowed Beams of Light—Brock’s decidedly low-stress, high-quality solo project—proves that one of Charlottesville’s most gifted drummers may also write the curviest hooks. On Friday, July 3, Borrowed Beams of Light will release its first album, a self-titled EP, during a set at Twisted Branch Tea Bazaar with Birdlips ($5, 9:30pm).

Although both the album and gig place Brock in the frontman spot, his plans for Borrowed Beams of Light remain as humble as the project’s beginnings. “I’ve come to a period in my late 20s where I’m not concerned with ‘making it,’” said Brock during an interview last week. During the first years following his graduation from UVA in 2004, Brock felt that he might be wasting time if he wasn’t constantly networking for The Nice Jenkins. Borrowed Beams, however, is designed so that the music will pull its own weight. “Maybe it’s worse [now], but I feel better in my head,” he explained.

Save the arrangement for opening track “You Have a Sun!!!,” where he collaborated with former Jenkins member Nate Walsh, Brock penned the licks and lyrics. After he recorded drums on a four-track, he completed the rest in ProTools and hired Rod Coles to apply his particular brand of hot wax mastering; the final product splits the pocket symphony pop of bands like Destroyer with the Village Green-ery of The Kinks, two big influences for Brock.

The Invisible Hand is an influence, too, but a reconfigured one—as if Brock’s mixing board mind fuzzed the guitars and brought up the backing vocal volume. Fittingly, members of the Hand are recast as members of Brock’s band for the CD release gig: Adam Smith sits behind the drum kit, and Thomas Dean takes the keys. Seems like a happy family to me.

The kingdom of pop

It seems a sad irony that Charlottesville’s most reliable dance scene (and only gay nightclub), Club 216, would reopen at its new location only a day after the death of Michael Jackson. However, just as Feedback hopes that The Gloved One’s soul will find a new vessel to carry on his message of sparkling socks and moonwalks, so he hopes that the spirit of Club 216 will comfortably inhabit its new home in the Old Michie Building at 609 E. Market Street.

Club 216 opened the doors for business at its new spot last Friday, June 26. Did it rock with you all night? Was it a thriller? We sent photographer Ashley Twiggs to capture the scene. For more details on the new Club 216 location, visit club216.com or call 296-8783.

Albemarle Ciderworks is a close-knit family operation. That’s no more clear than when I emerge from the office on the gently mountainous North Garden property after a conversation with brother and sister Chuck and Charlotte Shelton (which goes nearly two hours and draws to a close on a couple cups of the brut and bright Ragged Mountain Cider that Chuck pulled out from the back room), and there sit Mom and Dad Shelton, nearer to the century mark than many of us, taking in the western sun on the flagstone deck that fronts the cidery’s nearly finished tasting room. When Chuck, Charlotte and I met, the Sheltons—a total of four siblings, Dad and a grandson—were facing a busy week ahead as they close in on the cidery’s grand opening on July 13. There’s plenty of pomp to come, what with Governor Kaine expected for the party, but the experience of running a fruit-based enterprise on the 130-acre property is familiar to them. They bought the place about 20 years ago to prepare for their parents’ retirement, and within a few years of that they were selling 250 varieties of rare apples under the name Vintage Virginia Apples. They eventually started hosting pruning, grafting and fruit-growing workshops at the orchard, too.

But this will be a major leap forward. “An early notion we had about the cidery,” says Charlotte, “is that it was one way to rationalize all these apples.”

Hard cider, though still a standard choice in Europe and England, is hardly known any longer in this country since its Colonial heyday. Cideries are scant, and in fact, says ciderist Chuck Shelton, there is only one other in Virginia. So, the Sheltons are taking on not only the making and bottling of 865 cases this year (with a goal of perhaps 3,000 annually), but the education of the apple-juice-drinking public who might mistakenly think they’re already consuming something called cider.

Now take note, Virginia wine lovers: Local eminences such as Michael Shaps, Gabriele Rausse, Andrew Hodson, Sarah Gorman and Claude Thibaut have already scanned the scene—or more, in some cases, giving advice on equipment and operations.

Naturally, the ghost of TJ hovers over the cidery, too. A Champagne-like cider is credited to the third prez, and he is quoted that “Malt liquors & cider are my table drinks.”

What exactly is cider? It’s not the fruity, sweet drink that’s usually set out with pumpkins in a Fall supermarket display. It’s a fermented drink made from a wide assortment of apples—most of which we might call crab apples and which are n.g. for dessert consumption. These are apples that balance acidity and tannins with sugar. Hard cider usually comes in at 7 percent alcohol and it’s meant to be downed with food. Indeed, when the Sheltons and I were chatting in the  office, I mentioned more than once that nothing would be finer than a ham sandwich with my beverage.  Albemarle Ciderworks will produce three varieties of increasing dryness: Ragged Mountain, Jupiter’s Legacy, and Royal Pippin.

The Sheltons, who after our talk seemed to me as grounded and clear a team as I’ve met, are cautious but hopeful about taking their cider to market. “It may be a learned taste for people,” Chuck says, “but so is beer.”

Tasting room hours, which begin July 15, will be Wednesday-Sunday, 11am-5pm.