Category: Culture

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Arts Culture

“The Nutcracker”

Supplied photo.

It wouldn’t be Christmas without Clara dancing through her fantastical dream, accompanied by a dashing prince who conquers the dastardly Mouse King! Charlottesville Ballet presents The Nutcracker, with live music from the Charlottesville Symphony conducted by Benjamin Rous, and collaborations with Cantate Children’s and Youth Choir and Central Virginia Ballet. Audiences of all ages can revel in this seasonal classic, with memorable melodies and expertly choreographed scenes. You know the characters. You know the score.

Saturday 12/21–Sunday 12/22. Prices and times vary. Martin Luther King, Jr. Performing Arts Center, 1400 Melbourne Rd. charlottesvilleballet.org

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Arts Culture

17th Annual XMAS JAM

Photo by David Reid.

If you don’t get enough rockin’ around the Christmas tree on the 25th, head to the 17th Annual XMAS JAM. Spun out of the Charlottesville Music Showcase, a weekly series featuring prominent local performers—begun at Orbit Billiards on the Corner way back when—this seasonal gig continues to shine a light on some of C’ville’s brightest musical stars. Hosts Tucker Rogers and BJ Pendleton emcee the evening with appearances by Richelle Claiborne, John D’earth, Jay Pun, Jen Tal, and many more special guests.

Friday 12/27. $15–20, 8pm. The Jefferson Theater, 110 E. Main St., Downtown Mall. jeffersontheater.com

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Arts Culture

Disco Risqué

Supplied photo.

Looking to dance away 2024 and usher in the new year with funky fun? Disco Risqué is shakin’ up the Lobby Bar on NYE at the newly rechristened Doyle Hotel. This five-piece dance-party band brings a distinct brand of rock ‘n’ roll defined by its high-energy performers. Searing guitar solos and a driving rhythm section are complemented by keys and horns that make you want to move. Admission includes hors d’oeuvres and a sparkling toast at midnight, alongside cash bars and Champagne bottle service.

Tuesday 12/31. $50–60, 9pm. The Doyle Hotel, 499 W. Main St. thedoylehotel.com

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Arts Culture

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Supplied photo.

Thursday 12/19 at John Paul Jones Arena

I thought I knew enough about Trans-Siberian Orchestra, but it turns out that just about everything I had in mind was wrong.

For starters, I let the name fool me—its founding members were American, with the band’s visionary producer, composer, and lyricist, the late Paul O’Neill, born in Flushing, Queens. Next, I would have eagerly wagered that the group had formed in the ’70s (nope, 1996). I also thought, yeah, sure, it’s a hard-rock prog band that did some Christmas stuff and somehow fell ass backwards into regular rotation on holiday radio playlists. That assessment is far from correct. 

TSO’s debut record actually emerged by jamming the Yuletide full throttle with Christmas Eve and Other Stories (1996), followed up with The Christmas Attic (1998). A year later, a made-for-TV theatrical, “The Ghosts of Christmas Eve,” was broadcast, and then, between the release of two ponderous non-late-December-based concept albums, TSO put out The Lost Christmas Eve (2004), and a 2012 EP, Dreams of Fireflies (On a Christmas Night). The band even published a novella in 2013 as part of its trilogy of the aforementioned full-lengths called—and I’m not joking here—Merry Christmas Rabbi. 

Did I have Trans-Siberian Orchestra confused with Mannheim Steamroller? Because that band has a lot of Xmas discs to its credit, too. It led me to raise the question: How much Christmas is too much? One thing that simply cannot be refuted is that excess and Christmastime reign supreme with TSO.

From the bombast of electric violins and the chorus of many vocalists, to the over-the-top dexterity of well-rehearsed rockers speeding up the necks of their guitars as if the holiday itself depended on it, TSO does not deal in moderation. Interlocking rainbow webs of lasers, platforms raised to the heavens, whirling lights, and enough fire plumes to make a vintage KISS concert seem chilly, the band’s live show is a mad search to eradicate the Grinches among us with good will, sleeveless shirts, aggressive hip thrusts, and as many moving pieces as Cirque du Soleil.

TSO has become so synonymous with the holiday season in the U.S. that there are actually two versions of the band on tour simultaneously. While the East Coast TSO demonstrates the power of giving to Charlottesville, with guitarists Joel Hoekstra (of Whitesnake) and Chris Caffery leading the charge, a West Coast TSO is held down by original member Al Pitrelli stuffing the ever-loving stockings of a dazzled audience in Indianapolis.

If you’re doing your utmost to keep Christ in Christmas, and I don’t mean to imply that going to this show is the opposite of that directive, or that the show is antithetical to praying at church for that matter (look, I’ve probably never been to your church), but epileptics, celibates, and fundamentalists should be aware that TSO sure as hell ain’t Vince Guaraldi’s A Charlie Brown Christmas. 

Hopefully these factors don’t scare you away from getting pumped, getting glammed up, and getting your Chrimbo on with the same great joy as the angel who brought good tidings from Bethlehem to the shepherds, who, if memory serves, were also momentarily terrified before they realized what was happening.

Categories
Culture Living

Asked and answered

We’ll put just about anyone in The HotSeat—visiting performers, interesting professionals, local tastemakers—as long as they don’t mind answering a few of our hard-hitting questions (asking about a go-to Bodo’s order is the height of journalism, folks). Here are a few of our favorite answers from 2024. 

Grad student/lecturer Chandler Jennings

Most embarrassing moment: A few years ago, I ran into an acquaintance from high school. We chatted for a bit, and then she kind of waved goodbye at me. I didn’t realize that it was a wave and reached out and clasped her hand, interlocking fingers, and we kind of rocked them back and forth for a sec before I disentangled and ran away. 

Actress/musician Schuyler Fisk

Best advice you ever got: “You meet the same people on the way up that you meet on the way down.”—My mom [Sissy Spacek]

Podcast hosts Mendy St. Ours and Bree Luck

How did you settle on “Well, That Was Awkward” as a title and concept? 

Mendy: Pretty much every day, people tell us about something awkward in their lives. Sometimes it’s a small story—like going to a PTA meeting with your skirt tucked into your drawers—or a BIG story, like your ex showing up at your wedding with a clown nose on.

Bree: That happened to me.

Local Girl Scouts Penny (age 10) and Beatrice (age 10)

What’s something about Girl Scouts that people would be surprised to learn? 

Penny: We learn knife skills.

Most embarrassing moment: 

Beatrice: When I accidentally said “farted” in front of the class instead of “started.” 

Trivia host and Monticello tour guide Olivia Brown

If you could be reincarnated as a person or thing, what would you be? I think I’d like to be a millennial’s house plant. Just put me in a nice sunny spot, doted on day in and out, happily growing.

Charlottesville Ballet teacher Izabelly Gleed

What have you forgotten today? To buy eggs at the grocery store—I was too focused on planning my ballet classes!

Virginia Film Festival Artistic Director Ilya Tovbis

Why is supporting the arts important? Especially in our ever-more polarized society, I believe the arts are our best, most honest, and most direct way of connecting to, and understanding, those different from ourselves.

Comedian Brian Regan

What’s something about your job that people would be surprised to learn? I’m not funny every waking moment. And I’m not funny at all when I’m asleep.    

Writer, organizer, director John Gibson

Favorite Charlottesville venue: Various basements, leaky warehouses, overgrown gardens, and fire traps, all long since condemned or torn down, replaced with things fancier, safer, and saner.

Musician Robert Earl Keen

Proudest accomplishment: Proudest accomplishment objectively is my two daughters. My oldest—when she was 5—she won the Miss Apple Dumpling Beauty Contest. It knocked me out of my chair and I was so proud. 

Theater Director Bob Chapel

Favorite curse word? Or favorite word: (I’m) Sorry.

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Arts Culture

The best reasons to have left the couch in 2024

Please Don’t Tell gave a bewitching performance at the Spirit Ball in March. Photo by Tristan Williams.

It’s all too easy to get disgruntled about some of the usual entertainment in a tight town like ours—that is, if you close your eyes and ears too tightly and just stay home all the time. Here are some of the events that made me glad I got my ass off of the couch.

Please Don’t Tell

March 9, The Southern Café & Music Hall

After years and years—first as a piano and cello duo, and since 2021 as a trio with violin—Please Don’t Tell finally committed its feminist tilt of Victorian parlor violence to record, and held this Spirit Ball to serve as an audio coming out party of sorts. Though the annunciated operatics of pianist and lead vocalist Christina Fleming were confined to an EP’s worth of tracks on vinyl and other platforms, they were given a much longer runway on which to soar at the Southern. The lengthy set’s highlights were elevated further by violinist/vocalist Anna Hennessy’s adroit musicianship, while cellist Nicole Rimel’s spooked-out presence stayed thematically on brand. PDT wrapped up the somberly festive evening by ghosting on to the stage hand-in-hand, gushing forth with an a capella number about leading a man to the woods to die. Good times!

Temple Grandin

May 21,The Paramount Theater

A talk with autism and animal behavior expert Dr. Temple Grandin is a lot to take in at one sitting. But to get a handle on how other brains operate by a living example and proponent of neurodiversity is perhaps the best way to recognize the value that different cognitive styles hold for education, employment, and society. As a visual thinker, Grandin explained that her cognition type represents one kind of thinking—in pictures—while patterns or words are the other overriding ways of understanding the world. Surprisingly, the Colorado State University College of Agricultural Sciences faculty member, who came into fame with her pioneering work redesigning slaughterhouses to lessen trauma and anxiety in livestock, drew a line between neurodivergence and inventors, from Michelangelo to Elon Musk. In doing so, she stressed the need for parents and schools to give autistic (and potentially autistic) children more hands-on ways to tinker and thrive through science projects, car repair, animal care, craft hobbies, playing and writing music, and building machines, among other ideas.

Ruby The Hatchet 

June 22, The Jefferson Theater

Baroness may have headlined the show, but Philadelphia-area doom-chugging Ruby The Hatchet brought an indomitable fire to the night. Jillian Taylor’s gritty vocals recalled the pantheon of classic hard rock’s most celebrated practitioners and paved the way for a churning and captivating demonstration of their uncompromisingly heavy and dramatic songwriting style. A charged-up track like “The Change” and the righteous fuzz of “Primitive Man” were rivaled only by the surprise cover of Quarterflash’s top-10 hit “Harden My Heart.” The overwhelmingly metal fan crowd, seemingly surprised at its own memory, sang along with the choruses. No doubt they were swayed by keyboardist Sean Hur’s busting out of a saxophone to nail the song’s signature horn line, born amidst the power ballad schmaltz of the early ’80s.

Pete Davidson

June 27, The Paramount Theater

Everyone’s favorite controversy-stirring vulgarian, Pete Davidson brought his Prehab Tour to town, furiously driven with all of the honest self-inflicted invectives that provide an unhealthy excuse to laugh along with, or directly at, him—and that’s what complicates the King of Staten Island star’s stand-up. You feel bad for the dude, but not that bad when all is said and done because, well, you’re laughing and he’s a celebrity. So here he was, claiming to have kicked ketamine and coke, but despite lessening the amount, still sticking with pot. And what happens? He goes on to cancel a chunk of his tour the following month in a too-accurate prediction or self-fulfilling prophecy, checking himself into a facility for mental health treatment. If anyone (or everyone?) saw that time-out coming, it didn’t make his stand-up any less funny, and therein lies the problem on the audience’s side and/or the source of the man’s talent: tragedy+cannabis+no values=comedy.

“Out of Context”

October 4–November 22, Second Street Gallery

A six-person group show exquisitely captured what curator and contributing artist Paul Brainard set out to do with “Out of Context”: Let the art do the talking for this complicated and engaging collection of works. That said, many titles were nothing less than intriguing, and, at times, hilarious. Amber Stanton’s striking protagonist females in various states of undress searched for answers across fantastic landscapes (“Soon, Oh Soon the Light”); Jean-Pierre Roy’s “Maybe we’re all just guessing, Margaret” offered a vivid alternative universe bug-out on the traditional Western historical portrait; Miriam Carothers’ five-canvas “SLO Excursion” series caught drunken neon robot rampages; Michael Ryan’s life-size mixed media “The Birthday Party” peered into family figures too close and just too weird; and Hyunjin Park’s eye for detail and intricate color use came to a dozen heads on “I AM Good Looking,” a horizontal panel depicting Brainard, making a rainbow of his expressions.

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Arts Culture

The five worst films of 2024

"Joker Folie a Deux." Photo via Warner Bros.

When we asked our Screens columnist, Justin Humphreys to do a round-up of the year’s movies, he made his feelings clear: “I’m going to have to be very honest and say how precious few good movies there were this year.”  His top five losers are below.

Joker Folie a Deux

Nicknamed Joker Filet-o-Fish online, few movies of 2024 deserve being mocked more than Joker Folie a Deux or have so richly earned their immense commercial failure. The first Joker was a lame facsimile of Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, minus the genius of those films. In this sequel that nobody wanted, even the creepy incels who flock to dreary, adolescent comic book fare like this stayed away in droves. With this sequel, and last year’s Napoleon, star Joaquin Phoenix gives every indication of having forgotten how to act.

Madame Web

A spinoff of the hit Spider-Man movies, Madame Web follows superheroine Madame Web, alias Cassandra Webb (Dakota Johnson), who desperately uses her precognitive powers to save three women. That this clairvoyant is named Cassandra Webb gives you an idea of the level of wit at work here. (To her eternal credit, Johnson was openly dismissive of the film.) This is another silly superhero battle royale with slick, overdone fights and wisecracks. If you want to see an outstanding movie about someone glimpsing future events, watch David Cronenberg’s The Dead Zone instead. Aside from being among the finest Stephen King book adaptations, it also cost a tiny fraction of what was squandered on Madame Web.

Borderlands

Director Eli Roth has shifted here from his usual ’80s throwback torture porn to torturing audiences instead. Over $100 million was spent on adapting the popular video game Borderlands, including casting Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Hart, Cate Blanchett, and Ariana Greenblatt, and reportedly set to lose over $80 million. This dumb, loud, unfunny science fiction mess makes you wonder why Roth didn’t adapt a more intellectually stimulating video game like, say, Ms. Pac-Man or Frogger instead. Borderlands is the kind of lowbrow movie that gives enjoyably lowbrow movies a bad name.

Red One

Watching Red One lurch toward its theatrical release this holiday season was like witnessing the Titanic sail toward its fatal iceberg: This movie had disaster written all over it from the start with widely reported budget overruns and other excesses. Red One’s concept of Santa Claus (J. K. Simmons) comically being linked to various secret organizations could have made for an enjoyable, innocuous 10- or 15-minute animated short, but filming it in live-action and stretching it to feature length was a dire error. For what this atrocity cost, a talented director like Kathryn Bigelow could have made six really good, intelligent films.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire represents the movie industry’s nearly complete lack of imagination at work. Cashing in on an established IP like Ghostbusters is standard practice now, but if creative folk were to pitch an idea today as fresh as the original Ghostbusters was in 1984, they’d likely be turned down immediately. Studios are terrified of risks, and it shows in the flatness and predictability of their products, as evidenced by retreads like Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire. Reusing the original film’s stars and many of its other key elements compounds the sense that it’s all just a cash-grab. It lacks the humor, imagination, and unpredictability of the original film, and aside from this essential staleness, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire adds insult to injury by wasting the wonderful Annie Potts.

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Arts Culture

Six books I didn’t read in 2024

Don’t turn the page on these great reads that were published over the past year. Supplied photos.

Earlier this fall, I had COVID and, among its other health impacts, one bears mentioning here: For a time, I lost the ability to read. That is, I couldn’t read anything longer than a sentence without losing the rest of the day to a blinding headache. As a fervid reader, this was crushing. I spent a lot of time sleeping and then staring at a stack of books, wondering if I would ever read them. It got a bit maudlin. I’m now back in the world of readers and, to celebrate, here is a list of books from 2024 that I hope to read soon.

The Great Cool Ranch Dorito in the Sky by Josh Galarza

Josh Galarza is a Richmond-based writer and educator who’s currently completing his MFA in creative writing. His debut novel, The Great Cool Ranch Dorito in the Sky, was selected as a finalist for the 2024 National Book Award for Young People’s Literature, among other notable recognition. Accolades aside, I love a heartwarming YA novel and this one explores themes of mental health, grief, and body dysmorphia with empathy, quirkiness, and comics—and presumably a big handful of the titular chips in all their tongue-tingling glory.

The Practice, the Horizon, and the Chain
by Sofia Samatar 

Sofia Samatar is a Roop Distinguished Professor of English at JMU and I look forward to reading everything that she writes. Her work is wide-ranging in genre, including speculative fiction, nonfiction about the craft of writing, memoir and family history, and more. Plus, her books offer interesting structural forms, lyrical prose, and deeply imaginative worldbuilding. She’s also prolific—this is just one of her two new titles this year. Like so much of the science fiction I enjoy, The Practice, the Horizon, and the Chain offers starships, transformative journeys, and a vision of the shared liberation that can come through collective action.

Cyberlibertarianism: The Right-Wing Politics of Digital Technology by David Golumbia

Before he passed away in 2023, David Golumbia taught at VCU and, before that, at UVA, where I had the good fortune of being his student. Intellectually rigorous and passionate about his work and the community it made possible, he left us this new, posthumous book that examines the right-wing legal and economic underpinnings of digital technology and how the early promise of the internet helped foster present-day fascism in global politics. Informed by expansive research as well as his experience as a software developer, this book argues that we have to understand where things went wrong before we can develop more egalitarian technological futures. 

Soil: The Story of a Black Mother’s Garden
by Camille Dungy 

This fall, Camille Dungy was the UVA Creative Writing Program’s Kapnick Distinguished Writer-in-Residence and gave a reading of her work. She is a poet and prose writer whose work often examines intersections between race, gender, the environment, history, and family. Among other honors, she was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award and received the Library of Virginia Literary Award. Her latest book, Soil, shares her experience as a Black gardener and mother in a predominantly white town, examining how homogeneity harms our ecosystems and ourselves, while also interrogating how we relate to ideas of home. 

The Sapling Cage by Margaret Killjoy 

Margaret Killjoy is a transfeminine author, musician, and podcaster. Her community preparedness podcast, Live Like the World is Dying, is a mainstay for me, and her previous work includes short stories and novels that are darkly funny speculative fiction, bordering on horror at times. She gave a reading at The Beautiful Idea in September for her latest, The Sapling Cage, which is the first in a trilogy. This book promises to be more high fantasy than what I’ve read from her in the past, combining witchcraft, monsters, and magic in an epic, queer coming-of-age story that also tackles questions of power, identity, and gender. No notes. 

Aster of Ceremonies by JJJJJerome Ellis 

JJJJJerome Ellis is a self-described “disabled Grenadian-Jamaican-American artist, surfer, and person who stutters” who gave a performance of their work in October as the Rea Writer in Poetry at UVA. Their latest book, Aster of Ceremonies, is a poetic healing ritual, an invocation of ancestors, and a deft examination of race and collective belonging, reimagining what it means for Black and disabled people to take their freedom. Though I am typically a paperback reader, this audiobook is read and performed by Ellis, and I am ecstatic for the chance to listen while holding a hard copy in my hands, creating a harmonic resonance through his words.

Categories
Culture Food & Drink

Here’s to more openings, fewer closings, and a delicious new year

Chefs Kelsey Naylor and Anna Gardner closed their Korean fusion restaurant, Umma’s, in September. Photo by John Robinson.

This year, the culinary scene proved resilient. Despite challenges— fires, break-ins, and heartbreak—the community thrived. We mourn the loss of Mel Walker and celebrate the continuation of his soul-food legacy at Diilishus Fish & Chik’n. Blue Moon Diner closed after nearly two decades, leaving behind memories of its role as a community hub. And we honor the first anniversary of Wilson Richey’s passing, his indelible
mark still woven into the fabric of Charlottesville’s food scene.

But let’s not forget: There were far more openings than closings this year. Here’s what to check out, what we’ll miss, and recs on how to make the most of New Year’s Eve.

Open

Ace Biscuit and Barbecue is back, baby! Don’t wait to sink your teeth into the Harris Avenue ’cue spot’s indulgent biscuits and smoked meats.

Brookville Biscuit & Brunch is your all-day brunch haven. After three years online-only, it’s bringing hazy morning vibes to life again.

Diilishus Fish & Chik’n is keeping Mel Walker’s soul-food spirit alive with classic comfort dishes in the beloved former café location.

Tangerines Kitchen started with American breakfast and Thai dinners, but now serves Thai all day. Winter calls for tom yum and tom ka soup.

Althea Bread’s shop is your carb HQ. Think flaky pastries and sourdough crafted with local grains from small, regional farms.

El Tizón is now Al Carbon’s Woodbrook location, so why not grab rotisserie chicken from both and compare? Research never tasted so good.

Currylicious at Dairy Market offers Nepalese and Indian street food. Order the momos—hot, juicy dumplings packed with spices.

Ethos Wine & Tea is the perfect spot to bring a book or a friend and cozy up with a glass of natural wine or a soothing cup of tea. 

South Paddock Winery in Whitehall boasts not just wine but horseback rides across 310 scenic acres.

Roux St. Cafe brings the low country to you. Cajun Creole classics in Woodbrook—don’t sleep on the cheesy étouffée.

Camellias Bar & Roastery pushes creative decadence with offerings like crispy, pistachio-y Dubai chocolate croissants and spiced espresso martinis.

Pi-Napo’s pizzas are hypnotic—find out if those marinara swirls are as delicious as they are mesmerizing.

The Doyle, the former Quirk hotel reimagined, invites us to ring in the new year at the Lobby Bar with funky, high-energy rock ‘n’ roll from Disco Risqué or take a breather at The Rooftop for sweeping views of the city.

Little Manila’s brick-and-mortar Resto is ready to wow your taste buds with flavorful pancit and balut—a traditional Filipino delicacy of steamed fertilized duck egg.

Sbrocco’s Donuts & Espresso sweetens the deal in Fry’s Spring with a menu of perfectly composed glazed classics, and other goodness (like its buttery crunchy crumb bun).

Mejicali brings the heat with Latin dance nights and crafty cocktails made by River Hawkins—don’t sit this one out!

Closed

Blue Moon Diner, gone but never forgotten. Now to try to recreate Hogwaller Hash at home… 

Moose’s by the Creek closes on December 31 after a decade in business. The restaurant’s social posts hint at a return, so keep an eye out for those antlers on a wall near you.

Rumi’s Famous Kebab was a fleeting treasure, now closed without explanation. Let Rumi the poet console us: “Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”

Burger Bach in Stonefield closed its doors in August, leaving us craving another Wellington burger and fries.

The fate of Clubhouse Cafe, a sandwich spot open since mid-June, remains uncertain; a December 2 social post announced a closure “until further notice” with promises of an update on its future soon.

Umma’s, with its creative Korean flavors, said farewell in September. Luckily, DOMA, MARU, and other Korean favorites carry the torch.

At Dairy Market, we said goodbye to Citizen Burger Stand, 434th Street, Al Basha, Grn Burger, and South and Central—though free parking is a silver lining.

Ring in the new year

Tavola’s New Year’s Eve prix fixe is a four-course journey through elevated ingredients, including foie gras, lobster, and venison, with optional wine pairings.

Barboursville Vineyards pairs each of its five festive courses with the perfect wine.

Kick off the year with no reservations (literally!) at Blue Mountain Brewery for a hearty brunch. Try the deep-fried bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich—pancake batter makes everything better.

Veritas hosts a Masquerade Ball with a five-course menu starting with Smoke in Chimneys Trout Rillette on sourdough, topped with crème fraîche, radish, parsley pistou, and lemon. and wine pairings.

The Alley Light offers two elegant New Year’s Eve options: a four-course dinner or an extravagant seven-course meal with wine pairings.

Categories
Culture Living

The sport of queens

Boar’s Head falconry experiences with Goldie and Wily (above) are offered daily and require a reservation. Staff photo.

A delightful side effect of writing this column is that people in my life now give me ideas based on their bucket lists and more obscure interests. When a friend said she’d always wanted to try falconry and asked if I would join her, “Heck yeah!” was my nigh-instant response.

Like many wheezy, middle-aged folks, the pandemic afforded me time to become emotionally invested in the birds frequenting the feeders on my deck—to the extent that I intervened when a hawk was trying to make off with one of my mourning dove friends. 

In my youth, the 1982 cult classic The Beastmaster tickled my imagination. I longed to have similar furry and feathered friends, like Dar’s slippery-pawed ferrets Kodo and Podo and his majestic eagle Sharak, whose eyes he could see through. At every ren faire and theme park my family visited, the raptor shows were a must. This is all to say I’ve always been enthralled by birds of prey yet never knew much about them, until now.

What

The Falconry Experience at Boar’s Head.

Why

Birds of prey are very cool.

How it went

While one can’t literally learn to fly by simply touching a falcon, figuratively I floated home.

At the Boar’s Head Outfitters desk, we met our falconer. He gave us each a falcon glove and bottled water before we headed out. In hindsight, I wish I’d left the water behind. Yes, I drank it. Yes, hydration is essential, but I’m a Gen Xer (therefore, part camel), and can make it an hour-and-a-half without needing water. What I found myself wanting during the experience was free hands for bird-holding or picture-taking.

As we walked to the falcon house (obvi not the technical term), our guide provided info about American falconry and regaled us with stories about the Boar’s Head’s falcons, Wily and Goldie. Mischievous Wily (think Wile E. Coyote vibes), an African auger buzzard, would be our companion for the experience. Falconry includes different types of birds of prey, such as falcons, hawks, and others, like our buzzard Wily, who is more akin to a red-tailed hawk. After collecting Wily from his abode, we walked to a picturesque spot near a pond where our falconer showed us what Wily can do.

Tempted by bits of unhatched chicks still dripping with yolk (yes, the visuals still haunt my dreams and inspire the urge to rewash my hands to avoid salmonella), Wily flew back and forth between the falconer’s glove and nearby trees. Our guide explained that it’s the food that motivates the birds, not a relationship with the handler, and that one must walk a careful line when feeding Wily to avoid him getting “fed up.” If a falcon gets full, the bird is not motivated to go back to the handler.

Soon our falconer invited us to hold Wily on our gloved wrists, after he tempted him to join us with more chicken. Even though we’d been awestruck by the beating of Wily’s wings as he flew over and around us, nothing prepared me for the rush of him alighting on my outstretched arm. Falcons pack a lot of awesome power per inch, weighing in at just a couple pounds though they have about 200 PSI grip strength in their talons. It felt humbling for Wily to hold onto my arm. At one point, he did his bat impression, dangling from my arm inverted. 

As I looked to our falcon whisperer for instructions, Wily let go and toppled unceremoniously onto the dirt. Let me tell you, falcons’ extraordinary vision extends to giving superior side-eye. Despite my faux pas, my friend and I must have passed the vibe test, because our falconer commented that Wily spent a lot of time with us during our experience.